SB Nation User Blog: Steve The Hedge

The gods demand a sacrifice...ODEN MINUTES!

Steve The Hedge — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 19:53:37 -0000

Up before Helios has mounted his chariot, I roll out of bed to the snap-crackle-pop of my joints. Age, that insidious tormentor is taunting me again but I will not yield. As I slowly uncoil my not so sleek frame I shuffle to the closet to don the apparel of the gods. My helmet, a red Blazer beanie as proof against the bitter, bitting cold. A chest plate of the Red & Black Fleece (cousin to the Golden Fleece), its majestic pinwheel a symbol of my allegiance. A simple pair of sweat pants is worn as a token of my humility and suffering. Finally, I slip into the shoes of the godess of victory, Nike. With each tug of my laces I pay hommage to the great warrior whose quest I go to undertake. I am at peace with my lack of worthiness, but I forge ahead nonetheless. As I pass through the gateway to my home I reach for the only true weapon at my disposal. A gift from Hercules, one of the Golden Apples of Hesperides offers the Siren's song at my command. Inserting the buds into my soul, I take one last breath of warm air and walk out into the black abyss.

Knives made of ice pierce my lungs as the memory of warmth is slain. As I stumble from the buffet, I instinctively grasp the only weapon at hand. Quickly I dial the IPOD to a song from the past.

Que "Holding Out For A Hero" by Bonnie Tyler (ahh....the 80's)

As the Siren's call invades my soul, its elixir of youth restores my body and fierce determination. Slowly at first but with greater speed I launch myself into the darkness.

As I am overcome by The Song, I am shown visions of the past. Memories of great Blazer plays flash through my mind's eye to the beat of the song. Roy's Jordanesque move against Toronto, weaving in between players and going for the right handed layup but at the last moment switching to the left to avoid the block by Bosh. Aldridge running the floor for fast-break dunks. Rudy hitting a last second shot, stealing the inbounds pass and hitting a three at the buzzer. And of course Oden.

Memories and visions of Oden spark through my brain like lightning. So many highlight videos from high school and college. Potential was all it was. But now...now I saw what could be. Glimpses of a future close enough to feel. Delayed. The torment in my soul aches with that thought and reminds me why I'm here. Onward I go. 48 minutes until glory.

As the songs meld from one to the next a new vision erupts in my mind. A vision of the future.

Que “Six Million Dollar Man Intro”.

Oh yea.

Stay strong Greg, I'll donate some minutes.

Make the game fun again...by going to extremes

Steve The Hedge — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 23:11:32 -0000

What would happen if:

1. The team takes about 10 games to get one player off each night. The gameplan would equate to seeing how many ways Roy or Oden or any other single player could score in a given night. Let one player be selfish for one night and the rest of the team practice their sharing skills. Career nights for everyone!

2. The team picks three plays to run all...night...long. Tell the opposition exactly what's coming and see how successful they can be.

3. Only 3-point shots in a game. Golden State would be jealous. Rudy would be declared a god.

4. Play 'Seven Seconds Or Less' for one night...at least.

5. Blake and Miller put on Sumo suits and wage war at center court during a half-time show. Winner is declared the undisputed starter.

6. Oden is ordered to foul out in 30 seconds or less...and do it with gusto.

7. Burn points. The position that collectively gives up the most points to the opposition is required to buy Chalupas for the fans.

8. Everyone shoots free throws underhand.

9. If we win the opening tip, we deliberately score a basket for the other team. Spot them points.

10. Place a bounty to posterize a specific opponent, and let the fans know about it before tip-off.

Too much stress this early in the season. Go play.

Greetings, Traveler: Ravings from a mad man.

Steve The Hedge — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 04:06:27 -0000

Is that you my friend? It has been a long time since we last met, and I fear you have found me in dire straights. The drought of Off-Season has tortured my mind, and I fear I may soon go mad. I am starving for the start of the new season. My soul is aching for the first word from training camp. I am awash in the sea of...nothingness, my only bastion of sanity the memories of last season. Let me take you on a journey through the thoughts of a madman.

The glorious arrival at the Oasis of Post-Season was as amazing as it was brief. The bittersweet twist of Fate that resulted in our contest with the Rockets of Houston in the first round was an unfortunate pairing, but ultimately may prove a blessing for the early lessons it taught our young warriors. Finesse and skill are fine traits to poses, but strength and toughness are to be prized in tandem.

Rarely are those traits seen in the young. They must first be tempered in the crucible of combat before they are honed to a fine edge that is both flexible and strong. Only one of our throng showed himself up to the challenge of the moment. Our Captain. Roy. He alone was able to confront the opposition and elevate his game in the face of all the forces arrayed against him. He is our leader. At his side others are poised to apply the lessons learned from Fate's hard tutorial.

Aldridge is the Lieutenant that may arise from the ranks to become a bulwark in the post and wing. Like a hawk, he can soar along the perimeter and attack close to the goal. He, amongst the host, has the greatest potential to fly this year.

The Spaniard is another with skills and talent continuing his training across the sea during the drought of Off-Season. If nothing else, he is a smarter man than I, for he at least is able to feed his hunger for THE GAME. But will his continuing experience grant him the needed toughness required for the challenges that lay ahead? This I do not know, my friend. His path has many possible branches, and we will not know which he will travel until Fate grants us the knowledge. Will he fight for the privilege of 30+ minutes per game, or will his defensive handicap keep him a sixth-man? In my dreams I hope that he will become a core of our band, but in my heart I fear his desires for individual glory will overreach his role and cause a rift that can only be mended through trade. I pray that my heart is wrong. Rudy is not the only young soldier in our band, however.

A young warrior from France is gaining prominence in an arena of significant need for our troop. Defense. As a youth, he was selected above all as the one possessing the defensive potential to halt the best among the league. Although defending may not gain the young man acclaim, among warriors the rank of Defensive Specialist is one that is highly honored. Too many times the young ones arrive with thoughts of offensive glory running through their heads, but they are quickly disabused of that notion. It is a hard road to unseat those offensive legends that bedeck the highlight reals of the four-letter network. But there is a rare exception that joins the ranks with a true will to frustrate the opposition, putting their whole will into foiling the well-laid plans of the foe. Even rarer is the player that can combine the fire for offensive glory with the strength and heart to stand against the tide of the opposition's onslaught on defense. Aside from Aldridge, Batum has the fire to become a great Trail Blazer. His defensive abilities can only be overshadowed by the hulking presence that will vie for the position of our starting center.

Oden. Much has been written and spoken about this young man. My head and heart are together when they say that he will be better, but not the greatest. He doesn't have to be. The fog of my insanity dissipates when I conjure the fate of Oden. Time and time again the Fates reveal to me a behemoth of a man that destroys an enemy's attempt to dominate the paint. We may not win the battle, but we will never lose the war. This trait alone is worthy of the #1 pick upon which he was bestowed. The flair for offensive talent is in the rightful hand of our Captain, which he has already proven he is worthy to hold. The defensive battle is one that should be fought by those with the aptitude and desire to dominate on that end of the floor. Oden is that prodigy. With a renewed lust for life and the desire to rip the heart out of any enemy offense, this defensive wunderkind is about to announce himself to the NBA in a way not seen since the days of the legendary Bill Russell in his prime. Many will feel these are the ravings of a madman, but they are the prophecy of The Hedge. So it is written, so it shall be done. I am but the Oracle. Pay heed, for the power of this prophecy is great.

The Fates have spoken upon the futures of both Outlaw and Webster. Outlaw will be sent to other lands to play for lesser kings. Although many will mourn his loss, both he and our band will flourish with the change. Outlaw will bring a new spirit to the group he joins and will propel them to the playoffs; a height they'd not seen in many seasons. They will fall far short of the finals, but he will be hailed as a great warrior for his deeds. Our Trail Blazers will not reap the immediate returns many would expect, but the speed of their progress will accelerate. The true seed of the trade will flourish in the future and will bear fruit when we are most in need.

Webster will rejoin our band after a long absence without missing a beat. Unfortunately, his ability to elevate his performance is gone and he becomes a role-player. Although his value to the team is high, he will never live down the "could have had Chris Paul" chants. Fortunately for our clubhouse, Webster doesn't read sporting news and is not aware of the unwarranted criticism. His play off the bench will be directly responsible to at least two Portland championships and comparisons to the legendary Big Shot Rob for his timely shots and veteran defensive plays.

My gaze is obstructed when I attempt to look upon the outcome of the Blake/Miller fight for starting position. My head says Miller, but my heart is silent. Take that as you will, for even I do not know where this will eventually end.

These flashes of foreknowledge seem to be expanding as I'm getting more revelations from the Fates. Bayless, will remain as a Blazer, but will see limited time. Much like a volcano, he will sleep and bide his time; honing his skills. When he is unleashed upon the league, he will make his name known. In two years he will challenge Roy for the main scoring option. Never will he be the distributor that we hope. Roy will fulfill that need as the team evolves, and as a true Captain, becomes what his team needs most.

Joel will be supplanted by Oden and will eventually relocate to another team with a greater chance to play, but he will never find lasting team-success on the field of battle. He will have a long career of veteran ability, but will ultimately end his career without a title. This will not matter to him in the slightest. He is a warrior that knows he left his heart on the court. No regrets. He will retain fond memories and move on with his life and family, and forever he will be remembered in Portland for his contribution in building a championship and teaching the younger players what it takes to be a true competitor and champion.

The visions have gone, and I am once again left bereft of basketball. Being alone with my thoughts is unbearable without the occasional dose of Dave and Ben. How many times can I listen to a podcast before my heart knows the words in advance? Once. I have devolved into a sponge of Blazer rumor and fan-hype. If I was at least able to know that the upcoming season was viewable in HD on Comcast, I would be mollified, but alas, that isn't the case. I'm outside the realm of Comcast, and as such am unable to see the Blazers in HD for every game. My misery grows with every recount of my torture.

I must close now and drown my sorrows in more spirits. May I find oblivion before the sun comes up and so spare myself another day of forced abstinence.

You are welcome to share my dwelling for the night, my friend, but I fear you will not find the comfort of spirits before you slumber. I am well ahead of you on that score and have drained the small supply I keep on hand in order to deaden the pain and keep the madness at bay. The Fates speak more clearly and I can pretend so much easier in this inebriated state. Do not think less of me, for I am just a man. Rest well, my friend. My your dreams be untroubled, and your tomorrow serene.

I'm Your Huckleberry!

Steve The Hedge — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 21:53:15 -0000

KP, I'd like to apply for the position of Overpaid Free-Agent. I'd love to play (sit on the bench) for Portland next season. You need not shmooze me, I'll be more than happy to suit up for the Red & Black Attack.

I admit that my 5' 10" 175lb frame isn't long, I'm not freekishly athletic, and I haven't been bouncy since I was a toddler on my daddy's knee. But I do have what nobody else does: I can shag balls, tote luggage, fetch donuts, make people laugh until milk spews from their nose...ah did I mention I can fetch donuts? OK, so maybe one or two other people in the world can do that kind of thing, but how many of them REALLY want to be a Blazer? Huh? Huh?

If my incredible locker-room personality doesn't seal the deal, let me offer one other tidbit. It would really be a wake-up call to other NBA teams and players if you spent your cap-space on someone with zero professional or college experience simply because he loves Portland and the team. That would be an awesome press conference. You could even time it so it airs at prime-time on the East Coast. You know, so Hedo is watching. So, you think you're too good for Portland? Fine, we'll spend our money on someone that will be a great representative for the team. Heck, you could even put me into a game to go thug on the opposition a bit. Denver does that with Kenyon Martin, afterall. I know I've got more passion for the game than he does.

Finally, I'd accept a one-year deal. There's no need to have this year's cap-space disappear, never to be seen again. Simply sign me to a one year deal for what you've got to spare, and I become a valuable trade chip that you could part with and not hurt your core group. You'd miss me after I'm gone, but fear not. I'll come back to the Rose City once my NBA career comes to an end. If I happen to head for the Hall of Fame, I'll demand to be inducted as a Blazer. I'll even let you retire my jersey. See, I'm a giver.

It's a win-win-win, KP. You get cap flexability, you get to stick it to the FA market, and you get a high-character player that fits your culture. So, what do you say?

Trade Drawer: 6/23 Trade Machine=Crack!

Steve The Hedge — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:25:54 -0000

Hello, my name is Steve, and I'm an addict.

Hi, Steve!

I don't know how I managed to sink this low. I thought I'd had it under control. It's been almost a year since I last touched the stuff, and I tought I could handle it. One little taste, you know? A small trade to use that trade exception was all I was after. I wasn't trying to get LeBron or CP3 or anyone all-star-ish, just a small nip to whet the appetite of my inner GM. I couldn't handle it.

Before I knew what was happening, I'd managed to waste an entire day at work believing I was doing right because Paul Allen had said "Go for it." I delved into the permutations like a fish to water, ignoring the real world for my supreme fantasy of GM-dom (geeky, I know). A friend of mine finally snapped me out of it, but it was really close. I was almost lost forever. I don’t know if I’m fortunate or not, but I still remember the dream I had before I woke up.

Talent consolidation:

Trade w/ Charlotte- Outlaw, Webster, Sergio, and #24 & #38 for Gerald Wallace.

Trade w/ Chicago- Blake for Hinrich. Takes place after July 1 (new salary year & we’ll have cap space for lopsided trade), and assumes that Chicago retains Ben Gordon.

C- Oden/Przybilla

PF- LMA/(Pendergraph or Victor Claver with #33 pick)

SF- Wallace/Batum

SG- Roy/Rudy

PG- Hinrich/Bayless

Sprinkle a few veteran minimums for emergency need, and that’s it.

Was it worth the trip?

Feel free to get your FIX in the comments.

Will refs let Oden be physical in playoffs?

Steve The Hedge — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 17:19:04 -0000

It's a cliche saying that the playoffs are a different season. Teams step up their games to a new level of intensity with the finish line to the marathon in sight. Physical play is the standard and not the exception, which raises a couple questions:

1. Will the refs be more lax when calling touch fouls on Oden come playoff time?

2. Have the Blazers, as a team, earned enough "toughness credit" from the refs to get neutral rather than unfavorable calls?

I'd hope to see Oden make a positive impact in the playoffs, a part of the season he was brought in to effect. Guard play can get you to the playoffs, but solid post play wins games once you're there. If Oden is able to play without fearing the whistles, we could see the dominant center combination that we glimpsed during the regular season.

I believe the Blazers have developed a bit of demonstratable toughness since the All-Star break. Senior NBA official Dick Bavetta was reffing the LA game where the Blazers as a team made a stand against the evil empire. I believe that we earned a bit of respect from him in how we handled that, and that such respect will spread and pay dividends come playoff time. I don't think we'll see any star treatment, but I think we'll see fewer obvious bad calls.

Poll

Will refs lighten up on Oden's touch fouls?

Yes

58 votes

No

83 votes

141 votes | Poll has closed

Greetings, Traveler! : Respite Edition

Steve The Hedge — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 02:32:34 -0000

Come in from the storm, Traveler. The sand is lashing with a fury, and you look as if you could use a moment to gather yourself before we reach the All-Star Oasis.

Sit. Rest yourself. Take stock of yourself and tomorrow we will continue the journey together.

In years past this pilgrimage didn't seem so difficult because the weight of expectations were lighter. Victory was always a goal, but never taken for granted. With the addition of our newest warriors has come a greater weight and expectation to succeed. Each misstep is scrutinized in detail, and each success is bloated. It would seem that expectations for the young ones have gone from realistic to impossible with no middle ground for growth and development.

Does a tree rise to fight the wind from a single seed overnight? No. Time and testing is needed for it to reach the full blossom intended. The roots must be planted deeply for it to hold fast against the onslaught it must face each day. Those roots take time to set, and are unseen. Unseen, but crucial. It is the strong roots that allow the tree to stand against the raging tempest and provide shelter to us in times of need.

The flexibility of a sapling is a necessity when young. Though it can be the cause of unpredictability and inconsistency as it is tossed by the winds, it allows the young tree to survive the battle with the wind and gain in wisdom. As time passes the core gains in strength, the roots sink deep, and the tree learns to stand against the wind without fear.

Was it only last season that we were thrilled with our progress and promise of the future? Has so much changed? No. We have seen glimpses of true greatness from many of our warriors. Glimpses, but little consistency. With the steadying hand of our captain much of the turmoil has still resulted in victory, but time is still needed to develop the other members of our clan. With that development, however; a profound greatness could be in the making.

Whoooooooshhhhhhhh!

Easy my friend. That was simply a gust of trade talk. There is little we can do to battle them. They arise unseen and unbidden to distract us from our journey. They are a nuisance and mean little to our true core. Once we pass the Trade Deadline Mountains the force of their bluster is spent.

Time is all we need. It's the simplest thing to say, yet is so difficult to practice. Time.

I pray for patience. I will pray for you as well my friend.

Stay and rest, for tomorrow our journey continues to the All-Star Oasis. After that we shall fight the wind together on our journey to the Oasis of Playoffs. Long has it been since I've tasted its waters.

Thank You Blazers!

Steve The Hedge — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 23:31:29 -0000

Thank You--

Paul Allen: For putting your money where our heart is.

Kevin Pritchard & Front Office: For your ability to bake a cake.

Coaching Staff: For teaching and learning.

Wheels & Tone: For calling it so we can see it and feel it.

Fans: For rocking the Garden.

Players: For being our family.

From the top down, this team has found it's direction and is developing a winning identity that resonates with fans of the game. Such effort and dedication deserves to be recognized and applauded.

Happy New Year, Rip City!

Comcast: Revisited

Steve The Hedge — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 22:26:00 -0000

I'm less interested in pointing a finger than I am with finding a course through this minefield. At this point it looks as if there will be no agreement between Comcast and the satelite companies (and Charter). That will be two years without an agreement. Two years. It's time the Blazer organization takes action. I believe there is an opt-out clause in the agreement, but I've yet to hear any specifics regarding the terms and conditions under which such a clause might be executed.

Following the money: The Blazers.

The Blazer organization is looking for cash to boost their bottom line, but that's not all. They're also trying to establish a loyal fan following. The Blazers have always had a good percentage of die-hard fans, but those aren't the ones that make NBA teams the big money. It's the casual fan that is the true revenue maker because there are so many more of them. Hundreds of thousands more.

The Blazers have invested a lot of time and effort in building a team that everyone can be proud to root for, but they're now having their market limited by their Comcast deal. Whether it's the fault of Comcast or not, it's that deal that has hampered the ability of many would-be fans from being able to follow the team when they're not on national TV.

Though the Comcast deal has benefited the bottom line of the Blazer organization to the tune of $10 million per year, they are loosing out on the real revenue generator...fan participation.

Following the money: Comcast.

Big risk equals big reward. Before the Blazers won big in the lottery Comcast was willing to bet heavily on the Blazer organization, outbidding the standard $4 million per year that Fox had been offering. In addition Comcast would establish a new channel with the Blazers as the cornerstone along with other Oregon-centric sporting events. No longer would we be the step-child of Seattle sports options. Similar to Field of Dreams, if you build it, we will watch. We will DEMAND it. They did it. And now they want a return on their investment. I can't blame them for that mentality, but I can blame them for shortsightedness and questionable business expectations.

Comcast wants what it wants because it believes that's what it's worth. That's where they've made their mistake. Much like die-hard fans overvalue their players on the trade market, Comcast has overvalued it's product outside Oregon. It's not hard to understand why the smaller cable companies have agreed to Comcast's deal. They have a larger portion of their subscription base wanting to root for the Blazers. With smaller companies, it's easier for a few voices to be heard when asking for a certain product. Comcast ASSUMED the same deal would work for everyone. Wrong!

Now Comcast is stuck. They've gotten almost everyone in their service area to switch that was really going to, but that isn't anywhere near making this a cost-effective deal for them. $10 million per year plus the costs of running their own sports channel is a big undertaking that requires a broad revenue base. Seattle's loss of the Sonics has likely been an unforeseen bonus for Comcast as it seeks to expand it's subscriber base. What are the odds Seattle people would switch from satelite just to watch the Blazers? Low. I don't expect that to stop Comcast, however. They will likely wait out the current season to see how many more homes they can squeeze before they reconsider their position.

Following the money: Satelite companies

Portland Who? Jail-Blazers? When was the last time they were in the playoffs? Please buy NBA League Pass for only $189.00 for the entire season. Catch every game from the comfort of your own home (except the ones you really want).

The large satelite companies have no interest in being all things to all markets. Remember how long it was before they offered local channels? Direct TV and Dish aren't headquartered in Oregon, and likely don't realize the demand. A few hundred calls or e-mails won't move an entrenched bureaucracy when they think in terms of millions of viewers and not thousands. It's that mindset that will prevent any substantial shift in their negotiation position.

Following the money: Fans

In this trying economy, I cannot fathom why companies wouldn't be trying everything in their power to get my money, especially when I tell them exactly what I'd be willing to pay for.

I want to watch the Blazer games on TV, and I'm willing to pay for it!

Take my money...please!

Conclusion:

The Blazers haven't gotten to the breaking point yet, though they should have by now. Don't confuse a sold out Rose Garden with adequate marketing. So many dollars are being left on the table, it's not even funny.

Comcast has found that it can dictate terms in their pond, but in the big ocean they're just another sucker fish hanging around the large sharks. They've painted themselves into a corner with this deal, and the only way out that's profitable is to stick to their guns.

Satelite providers are trying to meet national expectations rather than market-centric demands. They don't have any incentive to cave to Comcast's demands. Even if every satelite subscriber in Oregon were to cancel their service out of frustration, they would hardly even notice the blip.

Fans are, as always, left to the mercy of outside forces. Frustrating as this ongoing saga has become, I've come to terms with the fact that I'll be watching only ESPN and TNT feeds of the games and listening to Wheels when those aren't an option.

It's a shame nobody wants my money.

Is Captain Kirk available now?

Steve The Hedge — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 01:56:16 -0000

Is Captain Kirk available now?

Would it be possible to trade a disgruntled Sergio for an injured but capable Kirk? Kirk makes 10 mil per year with a reducing number as time goes on, while Sergio makes less than a million. I'm hesitant to use RLEC in a package for him, but it seems like it would benefit both teams.

Would Paxon deal with KP again? Heck, should we demand that KP swindle Paxon out of Rose?