Though the original playoff predictions are here, I thought I'd put up a new fanpost so Beavis could brag about how he's smarter than NashMV3.

Below are the scores after two rounds of playoff picking for everyone who entered.

Though there are plenty of teams left to cheer against-- the Miami cHeat, the San Antonio Borg, the Boston Below-the-Belt Boxers, there only seems to be one left to cheer for.

GOOOO SSSSSSSSUUUNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

JimC has 25 points!!

Beavis has 24

nastyish has 21

NashIsBeast and Suns R Us each have 20

Omaha Sun has 19

Airwave, brian13 and BritishSun each have 18

NashMV3, roby07, and The Solution each have 17

Ajcarleton, jc79, and Spit_Fire each have 16

shawndy has 14

SuperSteve has 13

How was kobe not ejected after going for Faried's head?!? How was kobe not ejected after going for Faried's head?!?

How was kobe not ejected after going for Faried's head?!? How was kobe not ejected after going for Faried's head?!?

How was kobe not ejected after going for Faried's head?!? How was kobe not ejected after going for Faried's head?!?

How was kobe not ejected after going for Faried's head?!? How was kobe not ejected after going for Faried's head?!?

How was kobe not ejected after going for Faried's head?!? How was kobe not ejected after going for Faried's head?!?

How was kobe not ejected after going for Faried's head?!? How was kobe not ejected after going for Faried's head?!?

"The burden for the ring won't be on your shoulders alone, young hobbit. We shall create a Fellowship of the Ring, Nine Walkers to go forth 'gainst the Nine Black Riders!" intoned that great elf-lord of nobility, he of the Elvin Gentry.

The young hobbit, little Stevo Nashins, his hair a disheveled mop after the arduous trek through the West, stood with head bowed, but an eager and determined gleam in his eye. "And what warriors would you send with me on this most perilous journey?"

Continue reading this post »

Because you demanded it! (Ok, only Suns R Us did, but anyway...) Pick your way through the NBA bracket to win valuable BSotS prizes! Jim Coughenour's Thesaurus! NashMV3's Sarc-o-meter! Scott Howard's slightly used flamethrower! Seth's TrollStan costume! DiM's collection of Goran posters! MMotherwell's statgeek abacus, with infrared WinShare sensor, and haremoor's quantum optimistic ray of unicorntastic rainbows!

Here's how to play: Chose the winner of each series and the number of games each series will last. You will be awarded 2 points for each correct series winner and 1 point for correctly guessing the number of games. For example:

Series--

Round #1......................Round #2.....................Conf Finals..................Finals

West

PHX over SAS, 4-0.......PHX over MEM, 4-0.....PHX over DAL, 4-0.....PHX over NYK, 4-0

MEM over LAC, 4-2

DAL over OKC,4-3.......DAL over DEN, 4-3

DEN over LAL, 4-2

East

CHI over PHI, 4-3........NYK over CHI, 4-3..........NYK over ORL, 4-3

NYK over MIA, 4-1

ORL over IND, 4-3......ORL over ATL, 4-2

ATL over BOS, 4-2

=================================================================================

Okay, okay. Now you do it. (Substitute UTA for PHX if you really have to.) Copy and paste this in a comment below and make your picks. Remember to include the number of games for all rounds.

Series--

Round #1......................Round #2.....................Conf Finals..................Finals

West

SAS vs. UTA, 0-0.........

MEM vs. LAC, 0-0

DAL vs OKC, 0-0

DEN vs LAL, 0-0

East

CHI vs PHI, 0-0...........

NYK vs MIA, 0-0

ORL vs IND, 0-0

ATL vs BOS, 0-0

Beavis and Spit_fire are hereby declared as co-winners of the BrightSideoftheSun's Best Seer of the Season contest and are therefore presented with the crowns of Psycho Psychics.

Back at the beginning of the season, we asked for your predictions on how the Western Conference would shake out at the end-- Who would be first? Would the SUNS possibly be in the postseason mix? (SO CLOSE! One sub-luxed shoulder and trick knee away!)

The original fanpost was put up on Dec 23, asking you to predict the Western Conference final regular season standings. To remember why you picked who you did where, go to the link here. (No one had SAS as the #1 seed.)

Daryl Ray finished second (we miss you Sun God! hope all is well! come back to us!), and brian13 was third.

So Beavis and Spit_fire will have to split first prize, which is the New Jersey Nets now empty arena in Newark, Daryl wins one on NashMV3's Sarc-o-meters, and brian13 gets to appear on a new reality show on the JMZ network, where he has to live with Scott Howard, Sethpo, EBR, and the gang for the entire length of the off-season.

Hit the jump to find where you finished in the list of Prestigious Prognosticators (<< I thought Jim C might like this).

Continue reading this post »

Okay, okay! I couldn't stay away! With the SUNS playing only a 3 1/2 hour drive north in Minneapolis, I had to go to the game! I checked out ticket prices on StubHub on Sunday and there were some nosebleed seats selling for $0.55! That's right, 55 cents! I bought a couple of lower bowl tickets for 15 bucks each. Of course, the price of gas is crazy high, but I took my daughter and we had to go! The SUNS, man!

It's just so amazing to watch all the off camera stuff. Some observations form the PHX-MIN game:

During warm ups, while Telfair was shooting literally 35 foot shots, Steve Nash was demonstrating the purest stroke in the game. You're surprised when he misses a shot. It's like the basket wasn't where it was supposed to be. Most of his shots barely even move the net because they're so dead on accurate.

I sure wish I knew more about the hand signals that Nash is always sending to the bench during the game. He holds up a fist here, points to his elbow there, while he's on defense. Is he controlling Gentry? Telling him what to do next? Maybe Ray, or Seth, or someone, could let us know a little bit more about those signals-- not enough so that another team could figure them out, just what they're talking about in general.

Robin Lopez is a stud! He's not particularly fast, or limber, but he tries to box out the entire Twolf team. Tat went out with the three (dumb, dumb) fouls, and Rolo is banging on every play! The league has cleaned up guard play somewhat with the elimination of hand checking and that from years ago, but the clobbering down low is just brutal, and Rolo holds his own. Banging with Pek and Love, taking and giving elbows and forearms to the ribs, back, shoulders. Rolo earned a lot of respect from me in this game. I think we gotta keep him.

Shannon goes hard after the ball a lot and tries to be a distributor, well, a little bit, as like a fifth option, after shoot, shoot!, SHOOT!, and try-to-dunk-it, but his court vision is limited. It seems like he has only one eye, compared to Nash's 47 eyed omnivision. But Shannon is just brimming with energy and confidence (I know, it was only against the Twolves), but he was bouncing, jumping, snatching. Now, if he and Beasly were ever on the same team, they'd probably fight over the ball so hard, they'd rip it in two and each send half sailing toward the basket, but I did love Shannon's energy.

And it was awesome to watch this bench! (I never would have said that a couple months ago!) Redd with his crafty coasting down the lane, Bassy charged up, and revving. And Kieff! Banging down low, moving without the ball, then hitting jumpers, cutting in for dunks! The bench has definitely forged an identity-- with Bassy sparkpluggin', and every play starting off going to Redd as the shooter, and Rolo and Kieff as the high horns, setting picks, and cutting, and everybody giving hustle, hustle, hustle!

(Now, the Twolves did look spectacularly abysmal last night. I went up to watch them play LAC over spring break a month ago when both Rubio and Ridnour played and beat the Clips by a CP3 missed free throw.)

There were a couple dozen SUNS shirts in the house, a lot them Nash shirts like mine (and one little kid with a kobe shirt-- what?!). A lot of fans left early in the 4th, so my daughter and I moved down to some empty seats in the 14th row, right across from the SUNS bench. Gentry was standing up, giving some kinda non-stop commentary, and the bench was just cracking up. Nash smiling, Dudz about howling, everybody laughing and elbowing one another. Great to see that camaraderie! My daughter thinks Nash waved at us, but -- oh well.

I forgot to mention Nash's frozen ninja stretches by the bench-- kinda cool. And the trampoline dunkers were incredible, slamming it down while looking down the hoop! The wife guiding the blindfolded husband to shoot a basket was epically bad, but he finally made a shot after a bazillion or so attempts. At least two iPads were given away on the night, the Wolves must be doing better in the sponsor department. They used to only give away Klondike bars. Two fans were given iPads to run around and snap pictures of people in Twolf shirts, and whoever took the most got to keep his iPad. When the guy ran by us, I stood up and popped my Nash shirt, but he just shook his head like--what--?!

After the game, we went down and touched the floor and then stood behind Leander and Johnson at courtside. Well, we weren't allowed to get right behind them. Their table was covered with highlighted handwritten notes, and the floor beneath them was littered with crumpled up yellow post its. Kieff was the only one who came back out, huge bags of ice strapped to each knee. We yelled, "Good game, Kieff!" and then some usher escorted us out.

It hit 28 degrees on the drive home, and we got home at 3:00 am, but it was sooooo worth it!

GGOOOOOO SSSSUUUNNNNSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Tonight's game versus the Nuggets is so important for Western Conference standings and is likely to be so intense, that BrightSiders will show up in force, and mash their keyboards enthusiastically. We can be fairly confident that the following will happen tonight:

"Go, Suns!" will be typed in 14 times...

The words "nervous," "worried," or "pants-wettingly anxious" will appear in 75% of the first 20 comments...

DiM will tell us how good Grant looks in a suit, and that he is a man...

Patrick will mention how the DEN commentators suck...

someone will ask for a link, even though one will just have been posted 5 lines earlier...

Nash will have 6 assists in the first quarter...

Jinx and anti-jinx hijinks will hit BSotS...

Frye will clank 3 threes...

SmokinKieff will say put in Morris, he needs more minutes...

7 commenters will demand that Frye be gone next year...

MMotherwell will quote advanced eStat%Harmonics/WinPlusEfficiency stating Frye's effectiveness...

Beavis will pull something out of his rectal database to support some inane point...

Bassy will come in, the bench will blow the lead, and the hate will ensue...

haremoor will encourage us to keep our heads...

2Nashty will make some comment that only an Egyptian hieroglyphologist can interpret...

Shannon will bring both wow and woe within a 2 minute span before half...

SUNS only down 3 at half...

Scott Howard's new mild optimism, or at least modulated pessimism will continue to astound...

Jim C will comment on something or other, using the words "misogynistic," "pluperfect," "paradigmatic," and "ultrapneumonosilicovolcanooniosis" in one sentence...

The word "the" will have been misspelled 16 times by this point...

Omaha's computer screen will be full of red marks, as he edits everyone's comments...

Juac will ask what's up, ppl...

Ice cream, pickles, and beer will be discussed during halftime, possibly combining all three in a frothy concoction...

maritza will be lost on the wrong thread... again...

The starters will roar ahead in the 3rd quarter...

The bench will nose dive that lead to a negative number...

Joe Wisco will use the word "rollercoaster"...

"Ulcer" and "heart attack" will be mentioned 12 times...

NashMV3 will combat everyone who begins talking of tanking at this point...

Redd and Keef hit threes, Rolo blocks and boards...

The bench builds a lead...

The starters come in, watch Nash get trapped, offense sputters...

Tat boards, Dudley glues, Frye hits an insane behind-the-back bankshot 3, but his toes are on the line...

Shannon dazzles and dumbs in the same minute...

Steve Nash daggers a rainbow jumper over Javale, who scrapes his fingernails on the rafters...

shawndy begins a torrent of "NASHTY!!" comments...

rsavaj will demand Nash's next contract have the words "Phoenix SUN forever" and "in perpetuity" in them...

"SSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSS WWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!"

Jubilation arises! There is much rejoicing! Squirrels dance!

BrightSiders around the globe bask in the glow of the SUNS' victory and go to bed dreaming of getting the season's 30th win against LAL...

Previously...

The SUN had gone out. With only a few dying embers at its heart, the SUN was a darkened ball spiraling downward, thick black smoke belching and spewing forth from opposite points along its equator. From a distance, as the SUN spun in toward the Pacific, the two plumes could be seen entwining like the arms of a double helix, corkscrewing in unison as the orb twisted and plunged toward a dark and watery extinction.

Captain Steve Nash, along with his cohorts from the Photonic Heliocentric Operations Energy Network, Inc: X-division, hurried through the gloom within the bedimmed interior of the SUN, rushing along the echoing catwalks as dozens of alarms blared the final signal that all would soon be lost, that the SUN was doomed. One last rescue had to be attempted, to re-ignite the SUN before it would crash into the bottom of the Pacific, perhaps for ever.

As Capt. Nash hustled toward the deep interior, he glanced at his teammates behind him. Gone was Sun Tzu, the exploding strong man who had helped the SUN reach its zenith as it had arced over the sky in previous years. On this day, there were no imposing physical specimen amongst the team that clambered down the last stairwell to the heart of the SUN.

But each member of this ragtag crew, thrown together on the cheap from the far corners of the earth below, knew his place and knew that it all begins with the Captain. Nash flung open the door to the central chamber that contained the fusion furnace and stared hard at the dying embers within its core. Far brighter lights across the country below had dimmed all hope of the SUN rising. Even some of those who dwelt on the very bright side of the SUN itself felt it was time to dismantle the stellar components, hoping to begin the billion year rebuilding process as swiftly as possible.

Capt. Nash shook the hair from his eyes. Any hope had to start from him. "The SUN may fall and drown amidst all the naysayers below. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship.

"BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY! An hour of wolves and heat and thunder comes crashing down upon us! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on yonder good Earth, I bid you stand! Men of the West! This day we press on! I am not going anywhere else! No one thinks we can pull this off. And management hasn't exactly given us the greatest tools. But I know a great deal of chemistry and cohesiveness. If each one of you but follow me, the SUN will once more rise gloriously!"

With a hearty roar, and much high-fiving of the palms, the crew lifted its Captain upon their shoulders so that he might peer into viewplate that looked down onto the central well of the fusion reactor. One, lone photon of hope remained. "Lift me but a hair more," cried the undaunted Captain. And with but the glint of his smile, he deflected the faint particle back into the very heart of the reactor, splitting the defensive shields in twain as the tiny piece dropped perfectly into its goal.

And the sound of the re-ignition of the stellar materials was thus: "bamf." With the inrush of each breath, the center of the fusion furnace began to glow brighter. The team kept concentrating on sending each stray quantum particle back into the reaction, rebounding, as it were, each photon back within for increased success and limiting the number of them that turned over and ebbed away. Mighty fell the Hammer that day as it smote any stray sparks and sent them back into the hole. Any duds, any strays that were weak or ineffective, were hustled back into place. Brighter rose the glow, from a dull brown, to a redd hot hue, intensifying to a white hot blast that fryed the retinas of onlookers on the shore below.

Slowly, ponderously, but gaining momentum, the SUN turned just as the dark waves of oblivion were lapping at its flanks. Higher and higher she rose, until the day brightened, til hearts were warmed, tel fair skies were cited once again. As if hard on the heels of a rocket, the SUN shot skyward as if on a destined date with thunder!

And the Bright Side of the Sun grew brighter as well, as the dark whorls on her surface were soon burned off all together.

And all because hope had just been lifted a hair more.

To be continued...

When Steve Nash retires (hopefully not for another 1 or 2... decades), the NBA and all sports media will review his career and come to understand what a marvel he truly is. The Association will become so distraught over losing such an amazing player and ambassador of the game, one who virtually singlehandedly rescued the League from the doldrums and drudgery of the pound-it-in isolation stagnation game and caused the return to a frenetic, fast-paced, seven-seconds-or-less light show, that they will realize what they've lost. The old saying, "You never know what you have until it's gone" will never be truer.

So the NBA will rue the way they treated this hero, and they will vow to make changes to somewhat rectify their glaringly abysmal conduct toward him. The following Nash protocols will be put in place:

First, the NBA logo will be changed. No longer will Jerry West's stiff image be the symbol of the League. The new logo will sport long hair flying ala Goku with the feet apart and the ball coming from behind the back or bouncing between the legs. I'm sure Wattdog could whip up some awesome design.

Next, the MVP award will be renamed NVP, Nashtiest Value-adding Player, and will only be awarded to the player who can improve those around him and can increase his teammates' production up to 120-133% of normal. No ballhogs will ever win the award again, and Shaq''s MVP will retroactively be awarded to Steve.

A new statistic will be created to give credit for super-amazing-incredible assists that practically draw the scorer to the hoop and finish themselves. These will be called Nashists, and will count as three regular assists.

Also, any owner who fails to keep enough support for his superstar by selling off players or draft picks or letting other supporting stars go will be charged with sarver-tage and will be forced to spend into the luxury tax get his star the help he deserves.

Any player who walks out on an NVP to be 'the Man' at some big media metropolis will automatically be relegated to no higher than the third star on said team and trade rumors considering him will immediately begin. This protocol is already in place.

As a corollary, any enormously-egoed player who has to make some huge Decision about how great his talents are and where he's taking them will spontaneously be ejected to play for Toronto (or Vancouver, if they have a team at that time) so that he might learn some good ol' Canadian loyalty and manners.

Any team in the playoffs who has an NVP that gets hip-checked into the scorer's table, or has his nose split wide open, or an eye swollen shut, will automatically advance to the Finals while the other team will be banned from postseason play and must forfeit any championship trophies they have lying around.

Finally, the League will be renamed the Nash-ional Basketball Association, and its headquarters will be moved to Nashville.

Since every NBA media outlet is presenting their half-season awards, it's time for BrightSide of the Sun to announce its midyear winners. Of course, we do things a little differently here at BSotS.

The co-MVP's, easily edging out LeBron because they bring the goods consistently through the season and the playoffs and beyond, are: Wil Cantrell and Alex Laugan!

The Coach of the Year, for his ability to encourage his "players" to strive for their best, is: East Bay Ray!

Co-Rookies of the Year are: 7footer and Phxgroup!

The 6th Man of the Year Award goes to the one who jumps in and scores every time: Mike Lisboa!

Voted Most Likely to Make the FO Cringe, as well as named Courtside Stalker, is: Sethpo!

Named Most Likely to Get Kayte's Number: Eutychus!

Nominated as the Best Referee and Most Apt to Alleviate Tension on this Blog: Daryl Ray!

Chosen DPOY because of his ability to defend the English language: Omaha Sun!

Elected Most Prone to Schizophrenically Mutter to Himself: Beavis!

Voted Most Likely to Use a Thermonuclear Device in a Crowded Arena: Scott Howard!

Chosen for the Moist Lickly Ms. Spelling and GrammIrrashunality Award: 2NASHTY!

Picked as Most Likely to Make You Smile And Smash Your Face in with a Brick: NashMV3!

Selected as the Darling of the Blog: D_i_M!

Voted as the Longest Suffering Suns Fan: suns68!

Elected Most Likely to Invent His Own Branch of Mathematics: jc79!

Chosen as The Brightest of BrightSiders, for his eternal optimism: haremoor!

Heralded as a Rising Star: SunsASJD134!

Picked as the one Most Likely to Have Multiple Personalities and possibly stalk himself: WaveOcean!

Voted Most Capable of Conjuring Cogent-Argument Crushing Statistics: MMotherwell!

Singled out as the person Most Likely to Present a Crossword Puzzle at a Statistical Analysis Meeting: SNQP.

Elected as Most Likely to Break out in Haiku in a Crowded Theater: BasketballGF!

Nominated by the American Thesaurus Society as their biggest promoter: Jim Coughenour!

Chosen as Most Likely to Shout, "At Least He's Cute!" at a Suns Game: a tie between noonoo and Maritza!

Picked as a Reserve Guard on the all-BSotS team: phxpurple!

Accolades all around! Everyone's a Winner at BSotS! Invent your own awards! Vote for the Longest Distance Fan! Or the Most Sarcastic! Put your awards in the comments!

"NO RETREAT! NO SURRENDER! THIS IS SPARTA LAW! And by Spartan law, we will stand and fight... and die."

"O-kay. We see where you're going with this. But hear us out. What if, like, instead of fighting to win, you like, lose some battles, so you're more effective later?"

"WHO ARE YOU?!? Who are these Cretins? Why aren't you dressed in battle armor?"

"Oh, we don't actually fight with you. We more like cheer from the sidelines. See those logs all tied up and webbed together beside the battlefield? We sit there and sort of tell you what you should do."

"THE PERSIANS ARE ALREADY HERE! We've made a giant wall out of boulders and their bodies! Why do you want us to not fight our hardest?"

"You see, there's some fine up and coming young fighters, and if you lose a lot, you would get first pick! So by strategically having some of your best warriors hide in that water tank over there part of the time, you could throw a few battles, BUT next year pick up some young stud who has a 7' wingspan!"

Continue reading this post »

"I'm not sure what kind of a car you're trying to sell me. Didn't the body used to be that of a DeLorean?

The Flux Capacitor-MV2 is still operating at near peak efficiency and assists in giving us a blast from the past every night, and yeah, it makes the whole thing go, but the car just doesn't zoom like it used to.

The engine, from the BavarianAutoMotorwerksFirm is still plenty durable, but the rest of the car seems to be made of secondhand parts.

Okay, the hood is good and solid, if rather pointy. It must be the hood off an Edsel. It looks like a big ol' beak on the front. But that shnozz does rebound well.

But the rest of the parts make it look like it's been repo'ed and the pieces cannibalized and sold off.

I mean, a Rolex to replace the time circuits? And it's all hunched over and only has one hand.

The handling seems to be something of a dud and would serve better as a backup system. All offensive capabilities seem to be fried and would also work best as a reserve.

It's like you left the time machine in some rotten neighborhood in LA and they not only stole the wheels and left it on blocks, they stripped all the stainless steel off the body.

Factory seconds everywhere, and yet, when the Flux Capacitor overheats, there's nothing to keep the car revving. One part is on loan to China. The price is wrong. The trunk smells like a seabass. The springs under the brown side panel should be good but there's a horrible clunking noise from that side.

There's just so much wrong with it. The newest part keefs on working hard, but the way the whole thing haks and sputters, it couldn't reach 88 mph if you lit it on fire and shoved it off a cliff.

And you think the answer is to paint it redd?!?"

Who's going to take the Top Playoff Seed in the Western Conference this year? Will SAS rise to first place, only to fall flat in the postseason again? Will the Paul-Blake Experiment go all Hulk-a-mania so that LAC nabs the top spot? Will the Odom-less Lakers have enough length to do some damage? Will Dirk and DAL be as effective without their defensive juggernaut (J.J. Barea is now on the TWolves)? Or will the youth and depth of OKC garner the Thunder a trip to the NBA Finals?

Calling all prognosticators, predictors, and prophets-- in the comments below, put down the order in which you think the Western Conference teams will stand at the end of the regular season. Show everyone on the BrightSide your dazzling display of keen basketball acumen (or your dizzying display of drunken dart-throwing, whichever is appropriate). Your rankings will be kept until season's end, at which time the winner of the BrightSideoftheSun's Best Seer of the Season contest will be crowned as the Psycho Psychic.

Da' Rules: For each playoff team you rank in the correct slot, you will receive 10 points. For each playoff team that you have ONE slot below their actual position, you will receive 8 points. For each playoff team that you have ONE slot above their actual position, you will receive 7 points. For each playoff team that you have TWO slots below their actual position, you will receive 5 points. For each playoff team that you have TWO slots above their actual position, you will receive 4 points. For each playoff team that you have THREE slots below their actual position, you will receive 2 points. For each playoff team that you have THREE slots above their actual position, you will receive 1 point.

If you select all eight playoff teams correctly, you will receive a 6 point bonus. For each non-playoff team you rank in the correct slot, you will receive 2 points. If you rank every team in its proper slot, you will have 100 points.

The winner will get a Nostradamus-autographed crystal ball and the world-wide acclaim and adoration of BrightSiders everywhere!

Here are the 15 Western Conference teams (in alphabetical order):

Cut and Paste and create your Western Conference final regular season standing!

.

(After reading through last night's gamethreads, and suppressing not a few tears, I made a list and went and sat on ol' Santa-rilla's lap and whispered my wishes into his hairy ear. The list also included "10 'Tat-fingers workin'.")

On the Day after Christmas, my Gorilla gave the SUNS...

12 defenders defending...

11 Nash-dimes syncin'...

10 board(er)s a-leapin'...

9 SUNSdancers dancin'...

8 BrightSiders a-drinkin'...

7 Frye-threes splashin'...

6 bloggers "Just sayin'..."

5-- "BAMF's THE MAN!"s

4 Gortat blocks,

3 Brown dunks,

2-handed boards,

And a PHOENIX SUNS vic-TOR-eeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Our beloved SUNS are practicing hard to get into shape for the season, and Wil has reported that tonight's scrimmage will be streamed over the interwebs with our first Gamethread in approximately 89.3 months! Since our beloved team is getting ready, I think we should start practicing, too, for regular season gamethreads!

Ready? Jump in after a few warm-up gamethread stretches and comments after the jump!

Continue reading this post »

Though the league has tried to hush it up, David Stern was fired over the weekend. His body entered a comatose state sometime in the wee hours of Sunday morning, though many in the league office couldn't tell. Some thought he had merely paused in mid sentence for a few hours. It turns out that not even his brain could believe what his mouth had said about "basketball reasons" and was trying to climb out of his ear, but got stuck.

Anyway, with the commissioner out of commission, the search for a new commish need go no farther than right here at BrightSideoftheSun, which is always bursting with BrightIdeas (at least it seems that way at 1:00 in the morning).

Without further ado, what would YOU do if you were the commissioner? How do you fix the NBA? How can teams keep their superstars? Is there any way to avoid the inevitable march of the league's best big men to LAL (Wilt, Kareem, Shaq...Howard?)? Is it possible for NO to hold on to Paul? Can the Clips keep Griffin? OKC Durant? Was there any way to keep a home state player like LeBron in CLE?

All right, guys, and gals,--er, ladies, what is your best solution for keeping superstars on their teams? Franchise tags, ala the NFL? Unlimited max salaries so teams cannot afford more than one superstar? A league-owned trade committee with broad veto power on all trades? Dwight says he wasn't consulted on player moves to ORL. Should superstars somehow be so inextricably linked to teams that they also have a seat in the Front Office?

(OR-- Do you even think the system is broken and needs to be fixed? Player movement generates a near infinite amount of press and speculation-- Look how the Decision kept an ADHD nation's attention for weeks, providing an enormous quantity of grist for the mill of the national media. How much player movement is best?)

Lock and load, peeps. Give us your best shot at fixing the NBA!!

[A poll has now been added after the jump.]

SB*Nation has announced that the new NBA schedule will be released tomorrow night on NBA-TV:

The schedule will be released at 7 p.m. on Tuesday night in a special being aired on NBA TV, according to the station's schedule. It will be discussed on the program NBA GameTime.

However, we have received an exclusive sneak peek here at BrightSideoftheSun!

Because of the urgency of time constraints, league officials seem to have turned the creation of the new schedule over to the accounting firm of Bigg, Ash, and Mann. While the entire new schedule has not been released, we are able to see the timing of certain games, thanks to this sneak peek leak by one of the schedule's new creators:

Continue reading this post »

"We're trapped in the bottom of this 40 foot hole!"

"But at least we found the treasure!" 

The hinges creak as the lid of the treasure chest is forced open.  Gold, silver, and jewels spill out, overflowing the chest and gleaming in the torchlight.

"Oh my! This must be worth over 4 billion gold pieces!  We're rich beyond our wildest dreams!"

"All we have to do is climb up, lower a rope, tie it to the treasure chest, and pull it up, and we can live like kings for the rest of our days!"

"We're going to have to work together to get up without a rope.  If we stand back to back-- like this-- and link our elbows-- together, yeah, that's it-- we can climb up together.  Put one foot on the wall-- there.  Now I'll do the same."

"Yeah!  There we go!  Another foot, up! Unh. Yes, it's working!"

"Back to back, arm in arm, we can make it out of here!"

"Unh.  Keep climbing.  A little more.  Unh."

"Getting closer.  Then we can just lower my rope, haul it up, and split the 4 billion!"

"Yeah!  Unh. Who gets to keep the rope after we split everything?"

"Whaddya mean, 'Who gets to keep the rope?'  Unh. It's my rope.  I'll keep the rope."

"No way!  That's not fair!  What about the middle class?! We should cut it in two!"

"I'm keeping the rope!  And the padlock we busted off the chest, too!  Take it, or leave it!  And any lint I find in the lining of the chest!  OR THERE'S NO DEAL!"

"YEAH?!  Well, I have a bundle of dynamite here, and I'm lighting it right now--"

"Don't let go! Whadder you doing? We're gonna FALL!"

"--and dropping it down the hole, so you better change your nasty tone when you're talking to me, and give me--"

KA-BOOM!!!

Both men fall in, the hole collapses, and they are totally buried, and no one ever remembers that they existed.

The End

* But, fortunately, a team of lawyers arrives and, after years and years of arguing about the correct length of shovel to use, and the proper dimensions of the scaffolding and support timbers, they rescue some of the gold, which they keep for themselves.  yippee. *

Have you looked at your roll of toilet paper lately?  The hole has been widened.  The diameter of the tube has been increased, so there's less paper, and more hole.  The product looks the same from the outside, but you're getting less than you used to.

Have you noticed your cereal boxes?  The height and width are the same, and Cap'n Crunch looks as dapper as ever, but they have lessened the depth. The product looks the same, but there are fewer sweet golden nuggets to crunch.

Have you taken a look at the bottom of your peanut butter jar recently?  Skippy is as tall and as round as it's ever been, but the concaved underside is more indented than ever.  It looks the same on the outside, but there's less nutty protein on the inside.

It seems like more and more of our products are getting clipped, or hollowed, or cheapened in some way to squeeze out another penny.  What Japan did to the US, by making cheaper...well, everything, and Korea did to the Japan by undercutting them, and what China has now done to everybody, knocking off skimpier, flimsier, and sleazier... items, seems to have affected everyone's notion of turning out a "good" product.  Let someone else do the research and development and invest all their hard work in inventing some widget, then imitate everything about it except the thing itself.  Clip it, shrink it, make it out of pot metal, (paint it with lead paint, of course) and undercut the market by mass producing billions of the suckers.

I'm afraid the notion of the cheapening of products until they are virtually unrecognizable has struck the Phoenix leadership over the past couple of years.  Instead of keeping the high flying, hard working ethic of the SUNS going, the leadership has turned out a watered down, lite version of our beloved SUNS.  Oh, they've kept the masterful Steve Nash, so the product looks the same from the outside, but there's a huge hole right wherever Vince Carter is standing.

The package LOOKS the same from the outside, but it's dimpled in the bottom, and shallow in the back, and there's a great big hole right where we used to find a hard working heart.  We used to have players that flung their bodies into the fray, floorburns away!   Instead we have players who fling the ball from 40 feet away, screaming like little girls, not driving into the lane, not diving after the ball.

Sarver's greediness, to me anyway, seems to have turned our beloved SUNS into a cheap imitation of their former selves.   --sigh--

The cancellation of regular season games is making me sick all over--mentally and physically. 

I can't eat; I can't drink. I feel Chicago bullimic.  I'm now allergic to milk; I'm lakratose intolerant.  I've stopped drinking orange juice and now I have maveRickets.  My throat is all constricted, like I have a piece of griztle or some paper clips stuck in it.  I cough and try to hawk something up, but I just wizle and moan, eyes bulging like a big ol' hornetoad. 

I've got facial celTics.  My stomach feels all ripped, rapt, torn like it's full of cuts and knicks. It spasms and spurts. My kidneys are full of nuggets and little stones called rock-ets. When I'm breaKing wind it sounds like thunder.

I've got heart palpitations so bad I'm going to need a pacermaker.  This lockout is giving me heatstroke and I feel so depressed it's like my bottom's been shot full of buckshot.  I feel very pist on. Any more depressed and I'll become bobCatatonic.  If I get any worse, I'll just be like one of those Cadaverliers in the morgue.

I'm developing split personalities and my psychiatrist says I'm Seventy sixerphrenic.  I told him I have paranoia and he said that's just because everyone's out to get me. He said if I believed in magic or any of that jazz, I'd probably think I had lycanthropy, or werewolfism. He called me a hypochondriac and told me to stop being such a big worrior, otherwise they'll chase me with nets and fit me for one of those long-sleeved, white blazers whose arms tie in the back.

I want the NBA to start so I can go back to just having SUNS fever!!!

So Sarver goes and sells the Suns to the Chinese Basketball League and our favorite, fantastic Phoenix team is no  longer in the NBA.  Gone is MVSteve, BAMF, the Hammer, Dudz, everybody.  If that were to happen, who would be your favorite NBA team, and why?

(What I'm kinda looking for is this: Is there any sort of general consensus on whom BrightSiders would pick as their second favorite team.  If we took a vote on least favorite, I'm sure the Fakers and that team that BEdge cheers for would be on the top of that list.)

If you absolutely had to pick some NBA team other than PHX, whom would you choose?  And why?

Do you cheer for a team that has dazzling point guard play?  Do you cheer on loveable losers who can never get over the hump?

Just curious.  Not a lot of other stuff to talk about.  Maybe go ahead and list the top 5 teams you could cheer AFTER PHX.

Lock and load, peeps.  Fire your comments:

     If those bozos in Congress could come to an agreement on the need to raise the debt ceiling--sure, while splattering the walls with custard, and poking each other in the eye, and getting stuck in the doorways, and pouring whitewash down one another's pants--still, if those schmoes can come to an agreement, why can't the NBA owners and players at least have a mutual trash-talking, hating-one-another party and hammer out some stupid agreement that everybody hates and get the NBA Season Back On Track ALREADY!!!

We've already had a poll on WHEN the lockout will end.  What do you think is the reason WHY the lockout will end?

So a couple of us at work jump all over this annoying, pompous Laker fan (ok, I guess that's redundant since "annoying, pompous" = Laker fan), really pouring it on how classless O-dumb and By-numb were at the end of the game, how the zen master's legacy has been tarnished, how the Laker's championship bubble has popped like the roof of the Vikings stadium last winter, how the impending implosion will make a China syndrome nuclear meltdown look like a collapsing umbrella-- while he has the GALL to just stand there and smirk, saying,

"Oh, we've got tradeable pieces. We'll reload in the off season and be back with a vengeance."

He didn't even get angry, or say, "Yeah, how many rings do the SUNS have?" or anything.

He fully expects the Lakers to have BOTH Chris Paul and Dwight Howard (along with Kobe) for next year!

---sigh---  Laker fans don't even know how to be picked on right!

Do you have any Laker fan encounters to share?

Back before Thomas Edison invented 8-track tapes, records had a side B.  So here's the flipside to "Oh, git us a star," entitled, "Mr. Banker Man."

            It's pre-game time on the interwebs

            The regular BrightSiders loggin' in

            There's a banker sitting next to me

            Watchin' fans all hatin' on him.

            He says, "Banks, can you build me a winnin' team

            I'm not really sure how it goes

            The fans're sad and they're mean and from what I have seen

            They all wanna punch me in the nose

La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Chorus:
"Get us a star, Mr. Banker Man

Get us a star, draft night.

Cause we're all in the mood for a champyunship

Then you'll have us all feelin' alright.

Now Seth on the ‘net is a friend of mine

He gets me my stats for free

And Scott's quick with a joke, or post to make you choke

But there's no place that they'd rather be

Alex says, "SNaQ-P, this is killing me."

As a smile ran away from his face

"Well, I'm sure that I could pick a real good star

If I could just take Sarver's place"

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Now BAMF is a defensive specialist

Who sometimes shoots sharp as a knife

And he's playin' with Nashy, who's still pretty flashy

And probably will be for life

But they really need lotsa help out there!

C'mon Babby go pick up a phone

Us BrightSiders are sharing a drink we call ORNG kool-aid

But it's better than drinkin' alone

Chorus
"Get us a star, Mr. Banker Man

Get us a star, draft night.

Cause we're all in the mood for a champyunship

Then you'll have us all feelin' alright.

It's a pretty good crowd for bein' outta the playoffs

BrightSiders commentin' with style

About who they are choosin', and the Lakers losin'

And forget about life for awhile

And the gamethread it smells like cat urine

And a few keyboards smell like a beer

And we pound on the keys, writin' what we please

And say, "Man, just wait till next year!"

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Chorus
"Get us a star, Mr. Banker Man

Get us a star, draft night.

Cause we're all in the mood for a champyunship

Then you'll have us all feelin' alright."

Oh, git us a star, like Nash and Hill are,

Mister Sarver and Babby and Blanks.

Someone who can score, pref'rably a 4,

And we'll give lotsa BrightSider thanks!

Chorus:

Star, star in the desert,

Where the BAMF and MVSteve play.

We're stuck in quagmire, since losin' Stud-for-hire,

And the BrightSide's getting darker each day.

Since Dudley's bench glue, we still need a 2,

Someone who can get his own shot.

We need some consist'ncy, to please this constituency,

Someone as solid as Marcin Gortat.

    Repeat Chorus

We'd like to see Majerle, come ridin' on a Harley,

With Irving, or Kemba, or Will-iams,

Someone who'd play harder, not at all like Vince Carter,

'Cause we want no more corpses nor bums.

   Repeat Chorus

E'en a backup point guard, shouldn't really be hard,

Anyone who can pass and defend.

He could take off the pressure, and make Steve much fresher,

When for the title the Suns do contend.

Last Chorus:

Star, star in the desert,

Where the beer and the Thunderbird spray,

Many've turned to boozin', 'cause of all this darn losin',

And Scott Howard's lookin' smarter each day!!

In the comments, go ahead and add your own (much better) verses to this pathetic poetic plea for help!

Are you even going to watch at all?  Are you going to cheer on exSUNS?

--"Must start and finish with LB!  Go, TORONTO!!" oh, wait...

Some of us will be cheering for Amar'e, many booing.  Will you be watching JRich and the Magic? Cheering him on?  Even Hedo?

Will you be cheering AGAINST certain players, or teams?  Who do you hate more, Kobe and the Fakers or Ginoflopilli and the Evil Empire? Will you cheer the team play of DEN, the anti-superstar pick of the playoffs?  Can you find yourself cheering for them?

Post your comments below.  Let us know who you're gonna watch and why.

I'm going to watch with an eye toward which teams last year's SUNS could have matched up and beaten, and also with an eye to which player(s) we should get to fit around Nash on the SUNS for PHX dramatic rise from the ashes of 2010-2011 to playoff glory of the future.

In other words, I'll be watching wistfully--to what might have been-- and wishfully--to what yet might be!

If you haven't yet, check out sidepart's comments and pix in the MIN recap!  I wish I could have been down there with you, bud!  I made it to the game, but it was kinda crazy.  I teach until 2:00 on Wednesdays and tried to let the students out early, but two of them kept asking questions about their term papers. I finally busted out of there and hustled the 4 hours up to the Twin Cities.  I was afraid this might be the last time I would ever see Steve Nash play live, fearful that a lockout next year might just make him think retirement.

I paid $5.50 apiece for bottom of the balcony seats (section 232)-- yeah, they're practically giving away tickets in MINNY.  And Love didn't play, either, so it was pretty empty on a Wednesday night.  The only time the fans got loud was when PHX was shooting free throws-- the scoreboard puts up this Howl-O-Meter and everyone yells to try to get the gauge to rev all the way into the red. 

Oh yeah, and I had this extremely obnoxious 10-year-old right behind me screaming in my right ear 'cause I was wearing an orange Nash #13 shirt (just like sidepart's-- I counted at least 20 Nash shirts and probably another dozen PHX shirts just from where I was sitting).  He yelled, "Brick!" on every PHX shot ( the little brick) and screamed, "Foul!" and "Technical!" when PHX was on defense (well, not that there was much D, but , you know...).  He booed tremendously on some of Hak's dunks (not really sure why), but I drowned out his boos with yelling and applause--yeah, not too mature for a 50 year-old to outscream a 10-year-old, but it was either that or throw him off the balcony, so I think I chose the right course of action.

It was really cool to be able to focus on all the different things that the camera usually doesn't follow.  The main one was Nash's hand signals to the bench.  It looked like a kind of sign language, one palm out, the other one kind of flapping against it.  Does anyone know what that was?  I wonder if he was wondering about how many minutes he had left or something.  He was on D, so he wasn't asking about a play.  Kinda different.

It would be so awesome to play with Nash.  He sees everything and can get the ball anywhere.  Brooks seems to be always thinking, "Option #1: me shoot!  Yeah, let's go with that!"  And Beasly would be an absolute bore to play with, iso and honk up his shot.

I loved Gortat's footwork on rebounds, continuing to work even if the tip goes away from, hustling and scrapping, unlike another PHX center who shall be nameless, ROBIN!, who takes one swipe at the ball then turns and trundles down the court.  I laughed my butt off when Gortat first sat down and SILOOOOO! came in instead of Lopez!

Hak seems so lost when he receives the pass on the high elbow.  "Can I dunk it from here?  Can I dunk it from here?"  He just swings around and around.  And he's all knees and elbows, flying and churning and getting in each others' way, practically poking the ball away from himself.  He's kinda like one of those old rickety wooden stepladders-- he can get enormous extension when everything clicks into place, but otherwise he all but collapses in a heap, pinching fingers and causing more harm than good.

Dudz was off, and Frye was way off, but it was still good to see the remarkable difference between PHX and MIN, and to realize the SUNS are not really down in that category-- a team with no identity.  I don't think the Wolves know how many sides Rambis' triangle has.

Grant came out like a MAN, scoring 7 as PHX led 11-2.  And really there wasn't any doubt about who could win if they wanted to.  I thought PHX might throw the game on purpose or something there for a while in the 3rd, but PHX has a system that can work, despite the current inconsistent parts.  It was so obvious Nash is still hurting.  Once he ran back on D hunched over like a little Lopez.  Next year, if there is a next year, he shouldn't start playing until game 20.

Anyway, I was able to see Steve do one more "old-man-at-the-Y" left handed hook in the lane as the shot clock wound down, and that made it more than worth it, even though I didn't get back to Des Moines until 2:00.