Stirrups
Mar 11, 2008 Feb 15, 2012 158 13529
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Baseball 2011: Reflections Thru Internet Memes...
by Stirrups on Jan 21, 2012 2:42 PM EST
on Halos Heaven
How to pass a rainy day: mashup some of the top Internet memes with that insidiously irreverent Halo perspective, while not giving a crap about taste or sensibilities when the obvious opportunity presents itself.
Sure, we have a bucket load of memes internal to our site. But out there in the interwebs, where the vast wilderness lies silent and (im)patiently waiting the civilizing plows of Angels fandom, other concepts of humor have taken root and have thrived. I have gathered here a few of the more common fruits, harvested their seed, and raised them in that tequila and beer infused hydroponic animus that is particularly Halos Heaven.
Ladies and Gentlemen, before this all becomes passe:
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Let's Chat About CJ Wilson For a Second...
by Stirrups on Dec 12, 2011 3:53 PM EST
on Halos Heaven
Getting C.J. Wilson too, after Albert Pujols, is kinda like opening up your biggest Christmas present under the tree and discovering that it's an Xbox 360 with Modern Warfare, CoD3 already packaged inside. You get totally excited and dash to the entertainment center and hook it all up and can't wait to start playing, only to be called back to the family and reminded that you have more gifts.
So you open up your other present and find Assassin's Creed Revelations! After the fabulous stuff in your stocking (Dipoto, Premium The Ex, Lyle The Ex, Hawkins, etc.), this just keeps getting BETTER!
Perhaps, as the fuss dies down a bit, it is now time to kick back and mull over a few sweet thoughts concerning CJ...
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10 Individual Things That Could've Made The Difference...
by Stirrups on Sep 30, 2011 5:00 AM EDT
in Et Cetera
on Halos Heaven
As it turns out, this season went better than it should have. The Halos were in contention for multiple playoff slots against multiple teams (Rangers, Rays AND Red Sox) right up to the last week of the regular season. There were a lot of things that went far more right than we deserved. Those balanced out a lot of things that went horrible wrong, many of which we totally did deserve.
Even still, had this edition of this team been able to just succeed a little bit more, it would have been in the playoffs. Not so much the division title, but certainly the Wild Card. Amazingly, there is a whole host of things to choose from that could have played the role of "just a little bit more". There have to be at least 100 things we could come up with that would have been reasonable to accomplish and any one of which, all by itself, would have put this team over the top.
(UPDATE: I do realize that this topic has been raised since I originally created this last weekend, but I am letting it fly anyway.) My starter list of the first 10 things kicks us off after the jump. Your ideas are expected. Go.
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Reagins quoted as looking to "move Trout". To where? Infield or Via Trade?? You decide.
Today on ESPN, Max&Marcellus. Starts at about 5:22...
"Well, initially, Kendry will probably come back as more DH oriented and play some first base if everything goes like we expected. And Trumbo, he can play not only first base but he can play the outfield and DH, so there will be at bats in that situation. And we’ll also be able to move a player around a little bit with the outfield situation.
And then we’ll see what happens with Trout. There’s a lot of things that we can do going to the offseason. Things that look they are locked out at this point may not be that way in a month from now, two months from now, maybe before spring training."
Was he talking about TRADING Trout, or moving him to the infield? TR getting his content all scrambled up between his brain and his lips and this came out completely wrong?
Cool Phenomenon: Catcher's Mask Sparks!!
Now HERE is something nobody has ever seen before. Detroit Tiger's catcher Alex Avila has his mask shoot sparks - which could potentially cause fire! - when struck by foul tip.
Wait until Lyle hears about THIS.
The Return Of The Flow Chart: Pitching, 2011 Edition
by Stirrups on Sep 10, 2011 4:45 PM EDT
in Et Cetera
on Halos Heaven
A long time ago, while in the middle of a work-related project that dealt with process control, I was monitoring a game in the background and I suffered a brain fart, mashing together a flow chart I was editing in Visio with a losing cause to Boston, I ended up inventing the Baseball Flow Chart.
Essay: To Be Filed Under "Why I Love Baseball"
by Stirrups on Sep 8, 2011 8:17 PM EDT
on Halos Heaven
(UPDATE: Changed references of time since this game was no longer last night. - S.)
Not that any of you care, but I spent the other night doing some serious interior painting in my home. Out in my garage on a wall at one end of my very large workbench is a DirectTV DVR receiver, an LCD flat-panel TV, my Slingbox setup, and miscellaneous other entertainment gear. This allows me to do my home project work and keep up with a game in progress as I mosey in and out of the garage and listen to Victor and Gubi keeping me up to date in the next room.
The pace of the game of baseball, and the comfortable climate of SoCal summertimes, makes this an ideal way to create a background to my necessary labors as the hours of chore-related tedium drift by.
And, for any of you who missed it - even some of you who were watching - what happened that evening was a glorious reminder that baseball is woven out of a uniquely human tapestry, and presents itself at a cadence that can emblazon itself into the fabric of one's memory.
When all was said and done, I realized that I had just been rewarded by baseball with a satisfying experience that dominated my evening as I spent a rather humid 3 hours moving my personal lifestyle forward. And the story that can be taken away is very human one.
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Tuesday Night White Sox @ Angels Game Thread #2
by Stirrups on Aug 24, 2011 12:29 AM EDT
in Gamethreads
on Halos Heaven
Rally time!!!
"I'm here, and that's all I care about."
by Stirrups on Aug 23, 2011 8:17 PM EDT
in Team Lore
on Halos Heaven
August 23, 2011 Anaheim, CA. - Booyah!!! Suck THAT, East Coast Media Mavens!!
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Angel Arms Throw Away Victory, Angels Bats Recover it, Halos Defeat Orioles 9-8 in Extras
by Stirrups on Aug 21, 2011 1:01 AM EDT
in Angels Postgame
on Halos Heaven
Bobby Abreu launched a sacrifice fly to deeeeeeep center field in the bottom of the 12th to brign in Vernon Wells from third base with the go-ahead run in a see-saw game that allowed Halo fans to see their second walk off victory in 3 games, and saw the Angels gain a game on the Rangers. 5 games back. Keep the pressure on!
Rangers @ Angels Game Thread #2
by Stirrups on Aug 19, 2011 12:18 AM EDT
in Gamethreads
on Halos Heaven
What shall be written about tonight? "Ironic Justice" or "Ironman Rally"?
Awesome. Wells is the worst, and trending downward.
As bad as this year has been for Vernon, the other half of the "anti-Wells contract" argument was always that the back-loaded crapola that made his contract garbage will be earned while he is aging out of baseball. Well, folks, it appears that this process has begun.
Blue Jays Offense Scraps Out 5-4 Win as Angels Offense Is Just Scrapple
by Stirrups on Aug 14, 2011 4:11 PM EDT
in Angels Postgame
on Halos Heaven
Nolan Ryan hospitalized
Let's hope he's Ok. I am conflicted on the guy, but these are the times to set aside my snarky side.
UPDATE: Tests show no heart issues, Ryan due to be released Tuesday or Wednesday.
Offday Medicine: Don't Be Depressed! Baseball Still Is Fun!! 3 Crazy Owners...
by Stirrups on Jul 18, 2011 1:00 PM EDT
in Et Cetera
on Halos Heaven
A's Swat Angels Into Obscurity 9 - 1 as Joel Pineiro Lasts But A Single Out
by Stirrups on Jul 17, 2011 6:49 PM EDT
in Angels Postgame
on Halos Heaven
With Texas currently feasting on the Mariners, and the Angels presented with one of the worst teams in baseball to satisfy their hunger to keep pace on the division lead, Joel Pineiro strolled out to the mound for a few minutes of abject horror. 10 Oakland batters into the game and Pineiro had handed over 4 walks, 4 hits, 1 Grand Slam Home Run, 1 error by Mark Trumbo, and 8 runs scored. Oh...but hey, at least he got Kurt Suzuki - Angels Nemesis - to ground out weakly!!!
Angels Split With A's, 4-2 then 3-4, in Halo K-Fest
by Stirrups on Jul 16, 2011 11:28 PM EDT
in Angels Postgame
on Halos Heaven
In a rare scheduled Saturday Doubleheader of Doubleday's perfect pastime, the Angels showed up for a half-day and took the opener against the Oakland A's 4 to 3, only to fall asleep and waste away the backend tussle 3 to 4 in extras.
The opening game saw a masterfaul pitching performance in the opening frames, while the closing game saw a masterful pitching performance in the closing frames, only to be erased by a completely hose job of umpiring in extras.
You know you are squandering your God-given talent and promise as a baseball player when you are getting pummeled by this pitiful crew of Green and Gold. Which, considering their 21 hits versus our 20 strikeouts on the day, is pretty much what is happening.
Dog Days Come Early This Summer. A's defeat Angels 5-3 as Halos Extend All-Star Break
by Stirrups on Jul 16, 2011 1:27 AM EDT
in Angels Postgame
on Halos Heaven
On Bring Your Pooch To Smooch Night in Oakland, the offense of Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim took the warnings of Carmegeddon to heart, and stayed home this Friday evening. Not even the additional vertebrate butts could fill the seats, which was probably a good thing as those that did arrive were less than entertained by this uninspired showing of the game of baseball.
2011 Happy Points Update #1
by Stirrups on Jul 14, 2011 12:00 PM EDT
in Et Cetera
on Halos Heaven
Ok, it's the All-Star break and that means that we get to endure the Bud Selig State Of Middle Earth, or some such other fantasy land far removed from reality. There in Bud's chat this week was more of the total fabrication concerning the relative parity and fair opportunity for all teams in Major League Baseball:
NL wins ASG 5-1, as Rangers suffer defeat at the hands of AAAA's Best
by Stirrups on Jul 12, 2011 11:38 PM EDT
in Angels Postgame
on Halos Heaven
After watching Adrian Gonzalez migrate from just 90 miles south of Tony Reagins and land in Boston just in time to get voted into the ASG as the starting first baseman, where he opened the scoring with a solo HR and put the AL into the lead, Ron Washington demonstrated his mastery of pitching options and sent his own CJ Wilson to the mound, where CJ promptly blew the lead, and the game. The NL did display their All-Star caliber defense, trying mightily to overcome Washington's managerial skills and get the AL back into the game with 2 called errors and another near miss (Prince Fielder's early fly ball folly, which the official scorekeeper ruled a hit and thereby allowed Prince to avoid embarrassment as he collected the game MVP due to his later 3-run HR).
Pretty much the balance of this affair was spent contending with the fingernails of Joe Buck and Tim McCarver dragging across the blackboards of the American love affair with baseball. But we TV aficionados did get treated to The Amazing Heath Bell. If we DO get this guy, Halos Heaven needs to sponsor a Heath Bell Microphone during game threads.
Mark Trumbo: 2011 1st Half American League Most Valuable Rookie
by Stirrups on Jul 11, 2011 11:19 AM EDT
in Angels News
on Halos Heaven
Ok, for starters, don't get yourself all excited or anything. This is not a real award, nor has it actually happened. But it would be hard to argue otherwise.
Arguably, the top rookies so far in the AL are (in alphabetical order):
Zach Britton - Orioles
Jeremy Hellickson - Rays
Eric Hosmer - Royals
Michael Pineda - Mariners
Mark Trumbo - Angels
Most chatter to date surrounds the results of Pineda (because of his great numbers) and Hellickson (numbers almost as great as Pineda, but East Coast bias helps his cause). And those numbers for each of those guys ARE formidable, But we not just talking about numbers here. We are talking about VALUE TO THE TEAM.
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Angels Notch Nationals, 11-5, as Vernon Vetos Naysayers
by Stirrups on Jun 29, 2011 1:43 AM EDT
in Angels Postgame
on Halos Heaven
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Exponential Explosion of Inexplicable Offense Game Thread #2
by Stirrups on Jun 29, 2011 1:03 AM EDT
in Gamethreads
on Halos Heaven
Hold 'em!!!
Royals Extend Angels Futility 2-4. 8th Loss in last 9.
by Stirrups on Jun 11, 2011 1:04 AM EDT
in Angels Postgame
on Halos Heaven
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"Where are they now?" Department: Lenny Dykstra
This guy is like a train wreck that never stops forward progress.
Angels Waste Weaver in 0-1 Loss to Twins
by Stirrups on May 28, 2011 11:30 PM EDT
in Angels Postgame
on Halos Heaven
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Extras Take Braves Over Angels 5-4, Joel Pineiro Denies Himself 100th.
by Stirrups on May 22, 2011 2:09 AM EDT
in Angels Postgame
on Halos Heaven
Angels/Braves/SAT Game Thread #2
by Stirrups on May 21, 2011 11:55 PM EDT
in Gamethreads
on Halos Heaven
Pineiro Punching Pawnees. Abreu Acing Atlanta. Torii Torching Tosser, Tanking Track Time.
A's over Angels 5 - 4 in Tale Of Two Committees
by Stirrups on May 17, 2011 2:44 AM EDT
in Angels Postgame
on Halos Heaven
It was the best of times (Joel Pineiro and Scott Downs),
it was the worst of times (Jordan Walden and Fernando Rodney),
it was the age of wisdom (Maicer Izturis and Bobby Wilson),
it was the age of foolishness (Alberto Callaspo).
Weaver Kicks A’ss, Halo Faith Restored
by Stirrups on Apr 26, 2011 12:42 AM EDT
in Angels Postgame
on Halos Heaven
Jered Weaver snatched the Angels (and their fans) from their freefall Monday night as he shut down the A’s in a complete game shutout to become the very first Halo pitcher to start a season 6-0.
Weaver runs his MLB strikeout leading tally up to 49, his MLB leading ERA (for pitchers with over 30 innings) to below 1.0, and his MLB leading win total to 6, against an MLB leading total of losses at ZERO. Guts. Stud. Ace. Call him what you want. Let's just hope that this keeps going!
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