SB Nation User Blog: Stuttering John Tamargo

The All-Scrabble team

Stuttering John Tamargo — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 05:46:47 -0000

I've become a bit of a Scrabble enthusiast. I attend a club every Thursday night, and one night my club director mentioned that he'd seen an All-Scrabble football team, where every player's first and last names were both valid Scrabble plays. He mentioned Jerry Rice as an example - JERRY is a term for a Nazi soldier.

So, I endeavored to create a 25-man roster of current major leaguers whose names fit that description. So, when I should have been studying high probablility seven letter words, I-dumps and three-to-make-fours, I put together the All-Scrabble Major League baseball team. Every player's first and last names are valid plays according to the Official Scrabble Club and Tournament Word List, 2nd Edition. Definitions are given when they're not obvious.

Mngr Dusty Baker - Cincinnati Reds

STARTERS

RHP Ben Sheets - Milwaukee Brewers

BEN - [n] an inner room

LHP Cliff Lee - Cleveland Indians

LEE - [n] shelter from the wind

LHP Randy Wolf - Houston Astros

RANDY - [adj] lustful (marked by excessive sexual desire)

RHP John Lackey - Los Angeles Angels

JOHN - [n] a toilet
LACKEY - [v] to act in a servile manner

RHP Jake Peavy - San Diego Padres

JAKE - [adj] all right; fine
PEAVY - [n] peavey (a lever used to move logs)

BULLPEN

LHP Bill Bray - Cincinnati Reds

BRAY - [v] to utter a harsh cry

LHP Chase Wright - New York Yankees

WRIGHT - [n] one who constructs or creates

RHP Scot Shields - Los Angeles Angels

SCOT - [n] a tax

RHP Cory Wade - Los Angeles Dodgers

CORY - [n] a former monetary unit of Guinea

RHP Heath Bell - San Diego Padres

HEATH - [n] an evergreen shrub

RHP Dan Wheeler - Tampa Bay Rays

DAN - [n] a level of skill in martial arts
WHEELER - [n] one that wheels (to convey on wheels)

CL Kerry Wood - Chicago Cubs

KERRY - [n] one of an Irish breed of cattle

INFIELDERS

1B Prince Fielder - Milwaukee Brewers

FIELDER - [n] one that catches or picks up a ball in play

1B Brad Nelson - Milwaukee Brewers

BRAD - [n] to fasten with thin nails
NELSON - [n] a wrestling hold

2B Kelly Johnson - Atlanta Braves

KELLY - [n] a bright green color
JOHNSON - [n] the penis (usually considered vulgar)

2B/SS/3B Nick Punto - Minnesota Twins

NICK - [v] to make a shallow cut in
PUNTO - [n] a hit or thrust in fencing

SS/3B Chipper Jones - Atlanta Braves

CHIPPER - [v] to chirp (to utter a short, shrill sound)
JONES - [v] to have a strong craving for something

3B Josh Fields - Chicago White Sox

JOSH - [v] to tease (to make fun of)

OUTFIELDERS

LF Buck Coats - Toronto Blue Jays

BUCK - [v] to leap forward and upward suddenly

CF Coco Crisp - Boston Red Sox

COCO - [n] a tall palm tree

CF Matt Kemp - Los Angeles Dodgers

MATT - [v] to matte
KEMP - [n] a champion

LF/RF Matt Stairs - Philadelphia Phillies

LF/RF Nick Swisher - Chicago White Sox

SWISHER - [n] one that swishes (to move with a prolonged hissing sound)

CATCHERS

C Toby Hall - Chicago White Sox

TOBY - [n] a type of drinking mug

C John Baker - Florida Marlins

As an aside, the only current All-Scrabble Giants player is Matt Cain - CAIN is defined as "kain (a tax paid in produce or livestock)." I left him off the roster mainly to avoid redundancy - I already had Matt Kemp amd Matt Stairs, and I couldn't leave them off because I was really hurting for outfielders.

Do we WANT Timmy and/or Brian to pitch in the ASG?

Stuttering John Tamargo — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 18:07:04 -0000

My first fanpost on this new format, so forgive me if I screw something up.

Simple question - do we want The Enchanter and The Non-Beach Boy to show their wares in the All-Star Game, or would we rather have them rest up and avoid the alleged Giants All-Star Pitcher Curse that affected the likes of Atlee Hammaker, Jeff Brantley, John Burkett, and Shawn Estes (but didn't seem to affect Vida Blue or Mike Krukow)?

Poll

Do you want Timmeh and/or MR. WILSOOOOON!!! to pitch in the ASG?

Yes

64 votes

No

31 votes

I like tacos.

64 votes

159 votes | Poll has closed

Arrest warrant issued for Spiezio

Stuttering John Tamargo — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 22:47:10 -0000

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3267428

Six charges in all. I believe "General Peckerheadedness" is one of them.

Open Brian Johnson Diary

Stuttering John Tamargo — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 17:40:09 -0000

Today marks the 10th anniversary of the Brian Johnson game. I was at work, of course, following the game on ESPN's Gamecast applet or whatever they called it at the time.

"B Johnson homered to left."

Reading that was so awesome!

Any specific memories of that game to dispense?

BR.com sponsorships

Stuttering John Tamargo — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 03:44:49 -0000

I'm sure that a lot of you make good use of the Baseball Reference web site, and that you're aware you can support the site by sponsoring player pages. Pay a bit of coin and you can leave pretty much any message/URL you want. Some of the sponsorships are pretty amusing to boot (sadly, Dwight Gooden's Cat no longer sponsors Kevin Mitchell's page).

So, I thought it might be a hoot to sponsor the pages of some infamous ex-Giants, and leave McCC as the URL. I got the ball rolling with that legendary Giants outfielder:

Marvin Benard

For $10 (sponsorships last for one year) you can mock:

Damon Minor
Cody Ransom
J.R. Phillips
Alex Sanchez
Johnnie LeMaster
Matt Herges

You can have this guy for $15:

Felix Rodriguez

$20 will get you:

Ricky Ledee

Fork out $30 and you can sponsor one of our all time favorites:

Jose Cruz Jr.

Why he's worth $35 I'll never know:

Edgardo Alfonzo

Really feeling generous? For a cool $50 you can sponsor:

Dusty Baker

And yes, Benitez and Pierzynski are already sponsored.

You just need to register an account and then fund it with PayPal or Amazon payments. You can help keep a kickass baseball site in operation, take a swipe at some Giant whipping boys, and plug the Chronicles at the same time. A win-win-win situation.

My trip to Busch Stadium

Stuttering John Tamargo — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 04:21:55 -0000

A family gathering had me in St. Louis a couple of weeks ago, and we all took in a game at the new Busch on 09/25. It's a sight to behold - it's built much like AT&T, has a great view of downtown St. Louis (much like PNC in Pittsburgh), has a fabulous looking scoreboard, and is very RED. They played the Padres and lost 6-5. It was actually pretty cool when Jim Edmonds, like him or not, hit a pinch-hit 3-run dong to tie the game.

Here I am sporting the McCC threads, as well as my "salary cap."

Art-mando

Stuttering John Tamargo — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 02:58:45 -0000

I'd like to have all of our Benitez-related artwork in one place. Please post it here if you have any.