This isn't just the Sunday when millions gather around their television sets to watch a few seconds of football sandwiched between hours of commercials and wardrobe malfunctions.

No, it's far More Important Than That.

It's Hennie Kuiper's Birthday - the day the Best Cyclist Not Named Eddy came into the world.

Kuiper winning the 1983 Paris-Roubaix -- after his famous crash.

If you're one of the small handful of people on the planet who don't already worship the graven image of Hennie Kuiper, he's one of the few cyclists to win both the Olympic and Worlds Road Races, four of the five monuments, and a pair of TdF stages atop Alpe d'Huez.

No less a figure than Lucien Van Impe said Kuiper was perhaps the smartest rider in cycling, and no less an authority figure than myself insists the rest of you agree.

As befits an occasion of this magnitude, I'm lighting a candle made from the tallow of cows raised along the Paris-Roubaix route before sacrificing a live Clement Criterium Seta tubular.

It's a great day, Cafeheads. A great day. True Believers can go to Kuiper's site, click on the contact form, and send him a birthday greeting (like any demi-god, Kuiper speaks several languages, including English): http://www.henniekuiper.nl/en/

In what might be described as an indictment of American cycling in the post-Lance area, writer Martin Dugard (traveling with the TdF) says there aren't many American fans at the Tour:

See, there are no Americans at this Tour. None. London doesn't count, but even then the numbers were skimpy. The only American flag I've seen so far is the jersey George Hincapie is wearing on his back, because he's U.S. champion. I walked through the sign-in area, looking for signs of Americans -- accents, flags, odd t-shirts from obscure bike shops (a shout-out here to Matt Ford and Rock `n' Road Cyclery back home).

None to be seen. We have become the world's greatest example of a front-runner.

Zing! Assuming he's not lying about the number of fans, I gotta ask: Is anyone surprised?

Without another Lance, is cycling doomed to slide back into obscurity?

In lieu of yet another doping story, I though I'd spring this little scandal on the Podium Cafe. Small children and sensitive individuals will want to immediatey click away...

Via the Pinchflat comes this stirring story of romantic love -- a love for the ages.

It seems this Scottish gentleman was accused of having... err... simulated sex with his bicycle:

Robert Stewart, from Ayr, allegedly was naked from the waist down in a hostel room when two cleaners walked in. They say they were shocked to find him mock-copulating with a bicycle - and that he continued to do so as they looked on, the Sunday Mail reports.

He has been charged with conducting himself in a disorderly manner. His solicitor, Gerry Tierney, said: 'My client denies the allegations and intends to defend the charge vigorously.'

Stewarts says that the incident was all a misunderstanding, partly due to the fact that he'd had too much to drink.

Ahh, the old "too much to drink so I had sex with my top tube" excuse. If we've heard it once, we've heard it a thousand times...

No word yet as to whether the bike was of monocoque construction, though I expect our Technical Editor to get right on this one.

Blink, and just might miss the best photo collection about cycling in Flanders. A stunning online collection of contemporary B&W photographs by Stephan Vanfleteren transcends typical race photography, and examines the region, the fans, and the cyclists close up.

Brilliant stuff. Don't miss it. Just don't.

Hard Men of Flanders photo exhibit

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The arbiter picked by Landis in his USADA doping case is claiming he was excluded from deliberations over a key decision in the case (eerily similar to Landis' representative being excluded from key tests at the French lab).

The following comes from a blog entry citing multiple sources.

Looks like the anti-doping agencies shoot their credibility in its bullet-riddled foot yet again...

Blog entry about Landis case with many links

Cycling equipment is pretty much a blur of cold, impersonal carbon fiber these days, but every once in a while a truly thoughtful, revolutionary product rears its head (literally).

Via the Spluch site comes...

My favorite is the bear saddle cover, but Drew and Elvis will likely prefer the goat.

My sources report extensive wind tunnel testing is underway among ProTour teams, who -- having been denied the easy performance enhancements that come in a syringe-loaded cooler -- are looking for speed everywhere possible...

Once again, Podium Cafe leads cycling journalism into a new era...

Didi Senfit - the maniac who runs alongside the riders in his devil outfit (show of hands for those developing a marked preference for the Specialized Angel) - has been busy in the offseason.

The colossal fish bike! (Why didn't we think of that??)

Of course, we'll expect a full, in-depth review of this quantum leap in cycling technology from our technical editors. I expect to see fish bikes under all the top GC contenders during rainy stages.

Gentlemen?

The Hincapie Multisports Community??

I'm surprised my invitation to live there (thereby driving up property values) hasn't arrived yet, but I'm sure it's in the mail.

Still, so the rest of you will know where I've moved to so other, lesser athletes can learn from me:

Greenville, SC­­­­-- There are numerous golf communities designed and built for golfers, and now there will be a Cycling and Multi-Sport Community designed and built exclusively for cyclists and endurance sport enthusiasts.

Yup, we're talking about 300-acre site located 22 miles north of Greenville, SC, with a bunch of mountain home sites.

A dedicated community for athletes? Two thoughts:

First, it already exists (it's called Boulder, Colorado).

And second, the athletes who really need to live there have got absolutely zero chance of scraping together the money to do so.

Still, I'm willing to be wrong (though it's never actually happened). Read all about it at:

Hincapie village article on Roadmag.com

Milan's Marco Borriello is a soccer player with a supermodel girlfriend. He failed a drug test, but says that he "ingested" the offending substance while...er...uhh...hmmmm...

Better read the story yourself.

Why can't cyclists come up with drug test failure excuses this good?

I can't wait for Dick Pound's/McQuaid's comments on this one...

Let the bad sexual punning begin...

This is definitely NOT 100 characters. But do this for a while, a while, a while, a while, and it definitely is. (118)

[editor's note, by chris] Speaking of video...

Here's a short but damned amusing bike racing video that illustrates just how odd our sport must seem to outsiders.

Click for hilarious, TC-recommended bike racing video

Of course, brevity being the very soul of wit, I'm forced to type an additional sentence or receive the damned "Give your diary a bit more thought as you're likely not literate enough to post here unless you've the ability to ramble on and on and on and on and on...." message.

Yeah, that one.

While those other cyclocross bastards are sliding around in the mud like so many greased pigs on ice, one man will stand above all others.

One man will fly through the muddiest courses with style and flash.

And one man will be buried under a mountain of groupies.

That man will be Drew. And he will be riding:

Learn more about the world's fastest cross bike

Velo News just posted a story about Tough Old Guy Steve Tilford, who crashed through the surface of an iced-over lake in a Kansas cross race, but got up and won the race - despite being unable to change his gloves after they froze to his hands.

Tilford Freezes Out Rest of Field at Cross Race.

Of course, this kind of behavior shouldn't surprise anyone who knows the Legend of Steve Tilford, who was famous for carrying his own suture kit and local anesthetic, and sewing himself up after mountain bike races.

Sure, those U27 Project guys are fast, but are they tough?

Because I couldn't live without showing the world what has become my proudest posession - the one thing I would run back into a burning house for:

This place rocks. And Bethie (I seem to think this was your idea), you're probably going to hell, but you'll have all of us for company...

p.s. - I posted about this on my Copywriter Underground marketing site, though the only reason I mention it is to meet the goddamned 300-character diary limit (and I can't do <strike> either). This place is going to hell too...

Proving once again that sex sells - and that when it comes to sex, women have it all over guys - a women's mountain biking group has issued a calendar of images of comely group members largely devoid of their protective downhill clothing. (click the picture to see more.)

The key question is this: when are those nudity-impared slackers Chris, Drew and Van P going to doff their clothing for the Podium Cafe "Naked Saddle Studs" calendar?

I'm just asking here. That's all.

Velonews is running an interview with Saul Raisin, who continues his remarkable recovery and vows to try and race in Europe again despite nearly losing his life to a brain injury.

Interestingly, one of the byproducts of the injury is that he admits to sometimes lieing and believing it's the truth (leading me to believe that brain trauma isn't that uncommon among certain politicians I could name).

Interesting read and full of odd stuff, like the fact that he's not going to race for a while because doctors tell him another blow to the head in the net 12-18 months could be fatal, yet he's out training. Good on him...

Eurosport's reporting that Valverde has withdrawn from the final Protour race of the year because the organizers - who also organize the Giro d' Italia - refused to hold the ProTour Jersey ceremony at the finish.

A result of their ongoing feud with the UCI, Valverde apparently said the hell with it, and there are rumors of a pro rider boycott of the podium ceremonies.

More than you really wanted to know about the latest cycling temper tantrums here.

Floyd Landis has been threatening to do it, and he finally has.

He's published many documents related to his defense on his Web site.

Without a detailed study, it's hard to say how much water his claims hold, but some of the documented irregularities do tend to make me wince a little.

It's interesting that I'd love to see Landis cleared, but at the same time, I live in terror that the testing procedures will be proven to basically suck grapes, which will cast every other postitive test result into doubt...

With the Rainbow Jersey firmly on his back, Bettini wasted no time in acting... graciously? You can actually "feel the love" for Zabel in these quotes from Pez:

Bettini said: "We had a plan with Ballerini to go `all for one'. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever done. I managed to beat a legend like Erik Zabel, a true professional cyclist, who deserved to win and I'm privileged to win against him."

"It's like 2002 in Zolder ... all the team deserved the win today. It's been a difficult period for cycling but I hope Zabel and I can give a good message to the world."

Regal indeed. Now we wait to see what atrocities are committed on his kit and bike...

I signed up for WCSN's live Webcasts of the UCI World Championships because... I'm pretty much in love the idea of live Euro cycling.

I also gained access to IAAF track & field, which has put me in trackie heaven; the knowledgeable Dwight Stones narrated the meets, and the live broadcasts were in excess of three hours.

Joy permeated my life.

But things took a darker turn when I tuned into the UCI RR broadcasts.

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WCSN Coverage of the World Road Race Championships coming for $4.95...

Let's be clear: watching streaming video on the Internet is nowhere near as nice as easing yourself into Drew's new modular couch, eating his potato chips, drinking his beer, dropping crumbs between his cushions, and watching his plasma screen TV.

Of course, Internet video's selling point isn't that the broadcast quality is amazing, it's that the broadcast is available at all.

For example, those who plumped for Cycling.tv's live Giro and Vuelta coverage might have watched through squinted eyes, but at least they got to watch.

By the same token, I'm in the midst of Day Two coverage of the 10th IAAF World Cup track meet, and over both days the coverage will exceed 3.5 hours - a boon for every track junkie used to only seeing the last 12 seconds of the 5,000 men's meters.

OK Chandler - What's This Mean to Us?

While Cycling.tv has done well by us road junkies, there's a new kid on the block; WCSN (World Championship Sports Network).

While their list of largely second-tier sports may or may not interest you, they do carry IAAF Track & Field (and I subscribed on that basis alone) and are planning to provide live Web coverage of the 2006 UCI World Road Race Championships. (Sept 20-24)

The WCSN site suggests they're the only source for World RR coverage, but a quick visit to Cycling.tv's somewhat pathetic Web site suggests they're covering the Road Championships too.

Color me confused.

The good news for those who haven't purchased Cycling.tv's yearly subscription is that WCSN sells monthly subsciptions for only $4.95, so the World RR championships are suddenly pretty affordable.

The quality of WCSN is about the same as Cycling.tv, which is to say relatively dismal, but recognizable. When races get interesting, I find myself yelling at the tiny image on my monitor just as loud as the TV in the living room.

I'll send cycling.tv an e-mail in order to clarify their World Roads coverage.

http://cycling.tv
http://www.wcsn.com/

A lot's been written about "drugs ruining the sport of cycling." And if you get your news from an oblivious mainstream media - who are on doping like a pit bull on top sirloin - it doesn't look good.

Cycling even seems willing to eat its own, with everyone from riders to race directors predicting the demise of the sport unless the whole depressing chain of doping scandals grinds to a halt.

Bad for pro cycling? Certainly. Hard for fans to watch? Undoubtedly.

The ruination of the sport? Not for a second...

The Wheels Keep Turning

I spent the weekend babysitting 630 cyclists at the Shasta Summit Century - a mountainous century that includes a 135 mile suffer-fest with 16,500' of climbing.

I had significant doubts about a lot of the riders as they pedaled away, but later had to eat those doubts as they rolled into the finish area, dried salt desaturating the colors of their club jerseys, their faces flushed from completing what might be the toughest athletic challenge of their lives.

Those who didn't go the distance sought me out to tell me they'd be back, and that next time they'd make it.

What Floyd Landis did on Stage 17 was spectacular (doped or not), but if you learn anything from riding a bike, it's that the less talented suffer as much as their more genetically gifted brethren. They just do it a slower speed.

For most of my riders, the Summit Century was the 'fred' equivalent of "Stage 17" - an event where they surpassed what they once believed to be their limits. They'll keep riding no matter how much Jan Ullrich spends on sleazy Spanish doctors, or how often WADA's Dick Pound bleats about the sky falling.

Regardless of what happens in pro cycling's darkened backrooms, the wheels will keep turning - but under those who really count in the sport of cycling; the everyday rider who pedals not for cash, but for the love of it.

For those who aren't aware, the Magnum Photo Agency is a press agency for some of the world's most talented photographers. If you're a shooter with a refined eye, then Magnum's your agency.

They've put together a cool slide show which includes historic B&W images from some of the best "eyes" that ever lived; shooters like Robert Capa, Cartier-Bresson, and Vink.

Narrated by Joegeon Leth (Mr. Sunday in Hell himself), it's a must-visit. Only someone doped to the gills on steroids and EPO would be silly enough to miss it...

Magnum Photo TdF slide show narrated by Joergen Leth

I'm in full-blown panic mode with the Shasta Summit Century coming up this weekend (135 miles 16,500' of climbing) and me foolishly agreeing to serve as ride director, but even that won't wholly stop the flow of useful cycling information from this mountainous corner of the world.

No, instead of curling up in the fetal position and soiling myself, I'm bringing news of a cool new utility bike that - as gas hovers at $3.60 a gallon - is way past due.

Called the Trio Bike, it's a bullet-nosed utility wonder built by that mad bunch known as the Danish, and - unlike the unimpressive fixies and hybrids that bike geeks ride - it's guaranteed to impress the taut, lissome members of the opposite sex (note the gender-inclusive nature of my post).

It's swoopy and - for the childless - I'll bet the stroller section could easily be converted to carry ice and beer, and I would just love it if I had one of these to pedal around after the Summit Century, handing iced beer to blown up Armstrong wannabes...

See the ultimate Danish-built beer wagon - the Trio bike

A good cycling book is a thing of beauty. The best bring you along on some monster rides, but only your eyes get tired. And only a few drag you into the bowels of a doping scandal.

Sitting atop the cycling literature food chain is Dino Buzatti's Giro d' Italia translation, a marvelous work of art. A must read, assuming you're looking for a brilliant writer's interpretation of one of bike racing's greatest contests: Coppi vs. Bartali in 1949.

Second lies Felix Magowen's book on the 1978 Tour de France. It's not nearly as literary, but it's hugely entertaining, and a good glimpse into what cycling looked like before it really, really got complicated (and hugely specialized).

Today's pick is fiction, but good fiction. I'm suggesting The Rider - a craftily written book about a single, 150K road race.

It's written by Tim Krabbe - a famous Dutch writer who also played tournament chess and raced bicycles. I was initially opposed to this book on the grounds that I've done the same things Krabbe has, but none nearly as well.

Despite that transgression, I still think it's a good read, and yes - Hennie Kuiper and Eddy Merckx do appear in a dream sequence. Who could say no?

Of course, reviews would be awesome. And alternative suggestions encouraged.

Eurosport's reporting that Landis' B sample results should be in by Monday night.

The Eurosport article - which smells a little like something sourced from the WADA - also printed the following ominous statement:

"Many figures inside the sport have insisted that USA Cycling - the body responsible for setting any possible punishment - make an example of Landis, in an effort to try and patch up the cycling's drug-riddled and tattered reputation."

They followed this with a quote from Patrick Lefevre - President of the Association of Cycling Teams - who seems to have already decided about Landis' guilt:

"Our sport's survival is at stake. We can no longer afford to have teams or riders who just won't learn still starting races"

Good to see the cycling community respecting due process and the concept of innocence before guilt.

Eurosport's reporting that Communidad Valenciana's invitation to the Vuelta has been withdrawn.

Guess it's a little early to put together that VDS roster.

Valenciana denied spot in Vuelta

[insert additional pithy comment here to make the annoying 300 character minimum. You'd think brevity would be rewarded...]

That zany gang over at GetOutdoors.com have uncovered a Wharton School of Business paper that suggests cyclist are actually bad for the environment.

The amusingly named Karl Ulrich suggests that cyclists will live far longer than their chain-smoking counterparts, consuming more resources in the process.

At least now we know why all those gas guzzlers have been trying to flatten us into roadkill all these years. They're protecting the environment...

Can't wait to read more?

Cyclists Bad for the environment says Wharton School of Irony...

This TdF was branded a transitional tour long before the first prologue rider launched himself; Armstrong's seven-year reign was over, and perennial second Jan Ullrich or heir apparent Ivan Basso were supposed to restore the yellow jersey to European shoulders - its rightful home in many eyes.

Then, of course, the "transition" kicked into overdrive before the tour even started, when Ullrich's career (already headed for retirement) was likely ended, and Basso's was placed in suspended animation.

We were left with a gaggle of unproven contenders, including a handful of Americans who suddenly looked very, very good for the podium. Landis' triumph was a storybook ending to one of the most remarkable tours in the modern era (and yet another finger in the eye for Leblanc), but it's wrong to focus solely on all the fresh new faces in the top 10 - this was a tour of transition in almost every category...

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Floyd "the Lion King" Landis roared loudly when he crossed the finish line today, and obviously deserves every scrap of gazelle meat served up by the media (and Inet communities), but there's more than one story in the grasslands. Thought I'd offer some opinions on a few...

Today's Lions

Phonak: Floyd's team is clearly wasted (and the tendency would be to simply implode after yesterday), but they pulled it together enough to squeeze the peleton early in the stage, dropping Pereiro and launching Floyd. Not bad...

Cont'd on the flip:

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