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TerribleMetaphorGuy

  • joined Jun 19, 2012
  • last login Jul 10, 2014
  • posts 28
  • comments 589

A Fan Of...

  • NFL Carolina Panthers
  • NCAAF Virginia Tech Hokies
User Blog

Scouting the CSR writing staff: behind the scenes

29

Leaked internal scouting memo on the writing staff of CSR.

WR J. Cotchery and the Panthers: The story of B5

19

A behind the scenes account of the Panthers struggle with free agent wide receivers and their eventual signing of former Pittsburgh wide out Jerricho Cotchery.

Fuzzy Wuzzy wuz a Gettleman

115

A football layman's introduction to the front office of the Carolina Panthers.

Queen City Chronicles: The Maltless Falcons

26

Chapter 3 of that thing you stopped reading before chapter 1 was published.

Queen City Confidential:The Glass Hotdog

10

Queen City Confidential Chapter 2: The Glass Hotdog; Greg Hardy provides a clue as to who might be plotting against the Panthers.

Queen City Confidential

25

Chapter 1 - The Cheerleader in the Soaked Dress

MIA: Missing In Arby's

26

Danger lurks behind every ten-gallon hat sign.

Who wants to eat some ice cream?

37

Hey guys, TMG made sense this time. He promised. And brought ice cream. Kind of.

Are you ready to forget about the Lindbergh baby?

25

Because the Panthers are about to make the news splash of the century. Or at least of the week. Maybe just Sunday?

TMG's Ride: The Falc-in-laws are coming!

7

How many lanterns should I light if they are coming by ambulance?

TMG’s farewell to the Carolina Panthers

138

I will honestly miss you guys.

The TMM: Bingo, sleep-walking, and rehabilitation?

5

This could be a watermark game for the Panthers, do their catheters connect to a large enough reservoir?

FanPost
4

CSR Meet-Up? Thursday night's game against the Rams

Hey folks, our impending game against the Bucs is our annually mandated Thursday night game which means those of us blessed with the limitations of basic cable will be unable to watch it from the...

TMM: Desperate Times Call For Desperate Pleasures

5

This dentist reports on the depressing efficacy of the Carolina Panthers current dental hygiene practices.

The Terrible Morning Metaphor: Pajama Party

42

We should all be mad if we don't get invited to Cam Newton's pajama Party tomorrow afternoon.

Terrible Morning Metaphor: How Low Can We Go?

17

Ron Rivera's success as the Carolina Limbo judge is threatening his family life, can he pull it all back together?

Ron Rivera Walked Into A Bar

36

The best way to prepare for the weekend's game is with a good metaphor... or a bad one.

The Terrible Morning Metaphor

31

The Carolina Panthers are all grown up and ready to face the world. Where are they going and who is guiding their decisions?

FanPost
35

The Best Kind of Narnia

Dive into the mind of Terrible Metaphor Guy as he explains what it feels like to reach the pinnacle of sandwich making.

FanPost
1

TMG Doesn’t Predict Week Whichever – Looking for a W Edition

I played the Madden sim this week and realized something: These things are about as close to reality as a woodpecker is to starring in blowjob porn. I mean, come on (pun intended), we’re not in...

FanPost
1

TMG Predicts Week 7: The ‘Flaunt It If You’ve Got It’ Edition

The Panthers are a team in possession of extreme talent at a single position. There is, of course, a difference between possessing a thing and understanding that thing. Chud seems to think that...

FanPost
10

TMG Predicts Week 5: The Brad Nortman Bowl

TMG Predicts Week 5 – The Brad Nortman Bowl I want to start out with an apology directed towards our very own BW Smith, editor extraordinaire. Last week I published a piece in which I insinuated...

FanPost
10

Featured Fanpost: TMG Predicts Week 4 - How To Make A Sad

Little Panther Foo Foo was prowling through the forest, attempting to pick up football teams and grind them in the dirt. In his first three weeks, Little Panther Foo Foo was accosted by a Pirate, a...

FanPost
14

TMG Predicts Week 3: Mid-Week Sobriety Style

TMG Predicts Week 3: Sobriety StyleThis game is a statement game. We are going to go up against the questionable Giants and come out looking like a picture of the Loch Ness Monster: Cool, scary,...

Here's the deal: Me + Beer + a Madden version of this week's match-up = As accurate a score as AccuScore could score We all know the story lines, the ‘facts’, outside looking in we’ve got real...

FanPost
21

Winston Salem Panthers Bar

James' recent post regarding local bars seemed to receive a lot of support with out a whole ton of definition. My roommate and I just moved to Winston Salem and are looking for a good in town bar...

Showing 1 - 28 of 28
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