... restores soldier's faith in the Deity!

via images.ucomics.com

And you know it's true because you saw it in Doonesbury, by GB Trudeau.

And I know this oughtta be a fanshot, live an anonymous life, unseen and unappreciated by the masses of A's fans who gather here for sustenance -- and then die a quiet death, its electrons dispersing, unnoticed, back into the ether whence they came, but I do not care, for I believe I have now achieved the magical 75-word threshold.

The photos below are from AN Community Service Day 1, by the contingent who assisted setting up Newman Center's monthly meal.  A much larger group helped out at a Rebuilding Together Oakland work site -- they can send me their pics for inclusion or develop another fanpost.  We all then met at the Coliseum and sat together in seats donated by the A's. Thanks A's!

Many thanks as well to Nico, LongTimeFan and Pam5981 for setting this event in motion. 

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With apologies to Parrotheads everywhere, and fond memories evoked by this vid:

I offer this small ode to the impending bA'seball season.

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With apologies to Becker, Fagen and Cream (Ice, baby), here's a bit more Stolen Dan.

Original lyrics are here.

Steely Dan FM [no static at all] on ROWE AMI R-85 (via ishredu)

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At the behest of Leopold and others, this fanpost includes a few shots of the A's cAnine fAnitude.  We got there too late for most of the pup rally festivities.

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With apologies to Styne, Merrill and Monkey

(I can't account for the occasional random line breaks.  And yes, I do happen to be a heterosexual)

Don’t tell us not to cheer—

Just mope and compute,
Life’s winning and the goal’s
A chance to crapshoot.
Don’t bring around some stat
To poop on our parade!

Don’t tell us “no sac bunts”
We think they count, too.
If we can steal a base,
We really ought to.
No dreary acronyms

To poop on our parade!

We’ll march our rooks out,              
Bet on the come.
And if we’re hooked-out,
Your turn at bat, Rats.
At least we didn’t flake it,
Drat, Rats, maybe Oh-9 is when we’ll make it …

But if we’re 20 wins,
Of rare perfection.
Or painful losing streaks
Meaned by regression
The Lasik or some blurry sunscreen in the eye,
We gotta play ‘em,
We’re gonna flay ‘em,
Hardly even pay ‘em, this year
Baseball is heaven,
Six months or seven --
We get to cheer the A’s, dear.

Get ready for us, League,
The A’s are comers,
Marching to the beat
Of left-field drummers.
Don’t bore us with some stat 
To poop on our parade!

We’re gonna win, and win Now!
Play off your charts--we know how,
Play-off for the whole jackpot,
Pitch, catch and hit where they’re not,
Eye outside sliders, and take--
Wait for the fastball, and rake-- 
Hey, Mister Selig, kiss our bum!

Repeat: We’ll march our rooks etc.

Repeat: Get ready for us etc.

Original lyrics  here.

Youtube  version here.

Well, the Bay Area's Bestest Newspapers [retch] came out with their regular 50 Biggest Companies reports on Sunday  link , toting revenues and profits for both the 50 largest businesses in the East Bay (generously defined) and the Bay Area at-large.  Of course, they misspelled a word in the headline ("trial" meaning "trail"),  but hey, they don't call themselves the Bay Area's bestest  proofreaders, and I think I know where they made their most recent cuts.  But I digress, hoping I haven't made similar blunders in this here fanpost. 

I was surprised at the results, and thought I'd share 'em on which for folks to chew.  Now, I'm perfectly well aware that this is only one measure of economic activity, but if we concede that the A's are organized and intended to be a profit-making entity, then these kinds of numbers are not insignificant.

For the Bay Area at-large, I would divide the geography as follows:

SF= SF,  SSF and North Bay

Silicon Valley = peninsula, San Jose, Fremont, Hayward, Union City

East Bay = everything else east of most of the bridges

The Top 50 settle into those areas as follows:

SF = 14

SV = 30

EB = 6

So it's really no mystery why the Giaunts are so proud and jealous of "their" territory to the south.

Looking at the East Bay Region specifically, I would resolve the geography as follows:

Oakland = Oakland, Emeryville, Alameda, Berkeley, Hercules

San Ramon/Tri-Valleys = everything east of the Caldecott Tunnel, and Dublin and Sunol grades

Fremont = Fremont, Hayward, Union City

Defined so, the numbers are as follows:

Oak = 12

SRV/TriV = 20

Fremont = 18

By this logic, the new ballyard might better be in Walnut Creek or Pleasanton than Oakland.  And if we just look at companies HQ'd within the city limits of Oakland and Fremont, per se, Oakland loses 3 to 15.

Now, I've heard Fremont disparaged around here as a parking lot with a City Council, but it's pretty clearly more than that.  And one could take away from the  above data that the tech industries centered in the Silicon Valley, of which Fremont is best considered a part, are the economic engine of the Bay Area.  It also seems clear that Oakland in particular, and to a lesser extent SF, just aren't the commercial centers they were when the teams moved here 40 and 50 years ago.  At those times, the peninsula was fruit orchards, and there really were walnut groves in Walnut Creek.  Or so I'm told.

Viewed using this metric, the move south makes a lot of sense.  Yes, companies aren't people, but to an increasing degree they are ticket-buyers, and they do represent sponsorship sources.  Oakland, for all its natural beauty, infrastructure advantages and head start, just hasn't kept pace.

Regular readers of these electron arrangements will recall that there are several of us, 67Marquez and YT among us, who detest the blue-white-and-red dot racer color scheme.  To us, it  characterizes a slapdash approach to the stadium experience.  As such, it's an affront to an outfit that does all those little things on the baseball operations side -- maybe better than anyone.   It's something that troubleth the soul of the team we love.  Please note that this is quite apart from actually cheering for the stupid little orbs -- to me it ranks only inches above The Wave in proving  PTBarnum's theorem.  But I digress.

So.  Last evening I corralled one of the comely, young marketing assistants, who gave me the name of one David D, who, she assured me, could address this matter of deep and lasting ennui.  I emailed him today, as follows:

To: David D
Subject: Please change the Dot colors!

At the pregame event last night, one of the hostesses gave me your name as
someone who might be able to help.

Why, oh WHY, are the dots red white and blue (Red Sox colors, no less -- at
least you arranged for the red dot not to win, but cripes)?

Why, in a day when you can get custom-made M&Ms in A's team colors, can't
you-all customize the dots to be team colors -- then we'd always win!

Plus the crowd, which goes nuts for that silliness anyway, would REALLY go
nuts for this.

Howsabout it?

Thanks,

And, scoring big points for timeliness and politesse, if still blind to the eye-popping brilliance of the solution thus succinctly presented, he responded as follows:

Thank you for your interest in Dot Racing. Dot Racing has had Red White and Blue Dots since it's [sic] inception in 1987. The colors are based on the colors of our nations [sic] flag [Note: also France's ] It is part of the tradition of the unique ballpark experience. There has been some discussion internally about changing the colors but Red White and Blue won out. This feature is sponsored and therefore ultimate approval lies with our client. Thanks again and we thank you for your support of the Oakland Athletics as we celebrate our 40th Anniversary.

He's very welcome.  And, of course, he's very wrong.

He did make the error of indicating that The Client has final authority on this issue.  A little further digging revealed that said client has an executive VP in charge of just  these matters: 

... Vice President of Marketing, has over 10 years of marketing and sales experience[!]. Mr. K is responsible for FusionStorm’s corporate marketing, branding and communications strategies. He joined the company in 1998 and under his direction FusionStorm has grown to be one of the most recognized and respected... [yadayada]

Still with me?  Okay, then it seems to me that a diaristo might be deputized to convey the results of a poll to this Mr. K, on behalf of the citizenry of AN, hopefully to the effect that he could single-handedly rejuvenate the tired marketing, branding and communication strategery , by changing that stoopid-from-the-inception dot color scheme. Not that I'm trying to drum-up support.

Now, it may be that nobody 'cept 67Marquez and YT actually gives an Angels fan's patoot about this issue.  If so, nobody will vote and Marquez and YT will retire to our respective corners, muttering and shaking an occasional angry fist at an indifferent deity.  Or, I might argue passionately that such a show of indifference is prima feces PROOF that the strategery is old-n-busted.  So what if I'd lose.

On the assumption that this screed has now gone on long enough that I can avoid getting Nico's goat, as it were,  'tis time for a thoroughly biased and unscientific poll of the AN cognoscenti (note that indifference is not an option -- express it, if you must, by not letting your voice be heard on this important topic):

As I tried to digest today's 500+ post Swisher Trade thread, it occurred to me that many of us were reacting as much to the loss of Swisher-the-Personality as to Swisher-the-Ballplayer.  I'm pretty sure we'd get a "strong plurality" in ANy AN caucus that he's a terrific guy and a very lively presence.

Accordingly, I'm hoping it may help purge the trade grief to post in this diary -- an opportunity to recall his impact on you, your family or friends, on the current team, and
on the franchise.  Great plays, special moments, meetings, photos, sound bites, video, etc. etc.    

For instance, there's this great farewell pic, used without permission from LawDaddy (so sue me):

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I'm working my way through the stages of grief over the inevitability of signing he-who-shall-not-be-named-but-who-needs-a-custom-cap, and I've reached the "bargaining" stage (not really, although I'm nearly to "relax and enjoy it," in a rather different context).  So, as someone who is intrigued with the business aspects of baseball, I'm interested your opiniANs about the best ways to pay and structure a deal for the Creamy One.    

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Hi all:  We can't go Thursday evening -- interested?  They are in section 119, row 21, seats 12 and 13.  It's the first raised row above the lower aisle.  Great views from mostly behind the screen near home plate, and moocheau leg room.  Plus, you get to meet the great ol' gal who's now 90, and has been coming to games since the inception.  Seating chart is here.  Available at $28/ face value.  Also may be happy to trade for weekend tix later.

I'd propose leaving them at will-call if you can pay via Paypal.  Otherwise, we can meet at the seats during Tuesday evening game, or elsewhere during the July 4th game.   First-come via comment below.  Thanks!          

Here are two semantic sloppies about which I would like to complain.

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For you youngsters out there, original Jimmy Dean lyrics are here.

Every game day at the ballyard you could see him arrive
He stood six-foot-one and weighed 2-25
Kinda broad at the shoulder and slightly broader at the hip
Every team that’s in the Majors had given a pink slip, to Big John
(Big John, Big Johnnnnn...) Big Bad John.

(continued after the jump)

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I just got my obligatory A's shop email from MLB, inviting me to to make a "fitting tribute" and "Commemorate a true legend" by shelling out $184 bucks for a farking #42 jersey, or other gear.  No mention of donating proceeds to Jackie Robinson's foundation--sweet-fark-all-nothing.  

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AN's own multi-talented caption man LawDaddy will be playing blues ghee-tah with Frankie Lee this Friday evening at Biscuits&Blues in SF, shows at 8 and 10.  As of early this AM, it looks like a table for six can be reserved at 6:30.  I've not been to that venue, but an evening talking baseball, with a libation, some biscuits and da blues sounds mighty good to me at the end of a looong workweek.    

So--what say you, ANers--anybody "in?"  I'll be glad to make the rsvn and take two spots--if you're serious about coming (there may be a cancellation charge from the restaurant) lemme know below.

Here's our axeman now, Strikin' Like Lightnin'.  Feel free to caption, 'cuz as we all know, in the blues turn-about is fair play.  

I think he's saying: "I'm LawDaddy, and I did not approve this ad."

It's FInally spring, and our fancies are turning to thoughts of Athletics Love (in caps and plural) during the impending season. I'm wondering whether we might get together at the yard more routinely than just on A's Nation Days (or Nights, perhaps, if BBG gets her way).  

Lots of ways to do it--ferinstance--we might dedicate a cooler and designate one Nation-al on a rotating basis to come early enough to set-up a little tailgate site, with or w/o grill.  We could fly a left-fieldish banner to show our location.  Or maybe Blez would spring for a sign advertising the website to promote traffic, especially now that he's slinking off in a southerly direction.  Or maybe just do it once a week and announce it here?  It'd be a chance to put faces with names, argue stats and theories, plan card section tricks for Anaheim or SF, punch-out Grover, etc.

What say you--has this been discussed? tried?  Is it happening now and I'm the only person not invited? Does the idea suck?  Any interest in putting together a beta-test for the Sunday 4/1 Bay Bridge Series game (No Foolin')?  Your comments and votes, please.          

The Cisco Kids, will be friends of mine
The Cisco Kids will be the best West nine
New digs, payroll, future's lookin' fine
A's Nation at the game and still on-line

We'll meet down on the Fremont corridor
Drive down there because we are Hardcore
Beat those drums and cheer out like before
Beat those Halos like a two-bit whore*

The Oakland fathers don't care much for sport
Gi-aunts would have taken us to court
With Cisco Field they'll take it in the shorts
Cisco's seats will come with laptop ports

We'll ride the sunset, horses on the field
Swisher, Street and Bradley will get deals
Chase down Yanks and BoSox `til they yield
Billyball's pre-eminence revealed

The Cisco Kids, will be friends of mine
The Cisco Kids their future's lookin' fine
The Cisco Kids, will be friends of mine
I like this line although it doesn't rhyme

{repeat & fade}

* Please note that this lyric, and its author disavow and in no way condone violence against women in general, and whores in particular.  Furthermore, the Los Angeles Angels of Disneytime are not, and never have been, two-bit whores; they are very pricey whores.

With apologies to Mark Knopfler...

...and Jason Kendall

Now look at that Ken Macha--that's the way you do it!
Used to be with Oakland in the MLB.
Gettin' fired--that's the way you do it--
Get 2 million for nothin'--got your sheds for free.

Now that ain't working, that's the way you do it--
Lemme tell ya, that guy ain't dumb.
Could be hard to care about your player's broken finger,
And it sure ain't easy riding Billy's thumb.

We gotta endure the Col-i-seum
Fugly gridiron monstrosity,
Gotta move, to better quarters,
In a suburban locality...

See our Milt who's questioning the umpire's make-up?
Yeah, buddy--you can stick it right there!
You use your black belt to avoid a major shake-up,
Then like our Mach, you'll be a millionaire.

Gotta put-up with those crappy concessions,
Eight-dollar beers and lines are not for me--
Gotta lose, those tarp excressions
In a new baseball facility...

He coulda learned to play that Beaneball;
He coulda learned to not say "um".
Look--a Nation's burger he got stickin' in the camera,
Man, he had some fundamental fun.
And he's up there, what's that? More jingle noises?
Hawkin' 5A Rentals like a consignee--
That ain't workin'--that's the way you do it
Get 2 million for nothing--gotcher sheds for free

We gotta move to the Fremont environs
Invade the Giants' sacred terr-i-try,
We gotta move these ALDS victors,
Don't wanna ask our guys to play for free...

Now Ken ain't working--that's the way you do it
He managed Oaktown in the MLB.
Gettin' fired, that's the way you do it
Get 2 million for nothin' and your sheds for free
Money for nothin' and your sheds for free

/background
I want my, I want my, I want my free HumVee (repeat and fade)