Oh my. What a large amount of gambling debauchery we have over the next 48 hours. We not only have your weekly Bellator and TUF (Sorry, Can't find any lines here) fixes, but we have what quite possibly be one of the biggest Pay Per View cards of 2012 with UFC 145! It's utter madness, and I'm not talking about angry cow nipples here people.

So get your booty shorts on, and get ready for a jog around a construction site cuz The Betting Fix is on like Donkey Kong in a mini mall. Don't ask me how that makes sense, or I might have to blow your mind with wave after wave of psychodelic philosophical reasoning, and I don't think we have a big enough helmet nor a big enough insurance plan to cover such mind blowing.

Stop asking questions, and just hit the jump. Trust us, it's safe on the other side. We have candy.

Continue reading this post »

Super Fight League 2 brought a second dose of Eastern concert meets Mixed Martial Arts card to Bollywood last night (or this morning to us). Much like the last event, SFL 2 brought a unique flavor of Indian entertainment, great MMA, odd announcing, and a crowd with strange horn thingies to use instead of cheering or booing. I love it!

And to show our love, we bring you a triple dose of festivities with three killer fights that went down for the loving Indian audience.

Cherie Buck vs. Colleen Schneider

In only the second Female MMA Fight in Indian history, England's Cherie Buck and Colleen "The Beautiful Disaster" Schneider brought the fight as we tend to expect from the women of the sport. Although Phil Baroni couldn't help but to verbally eye-hump the contestants throughout the match, Schneider showed dominating skills both on the ground and on the feet. She has come a long way since debuting, and losing to, Liz Camouche and Sarah D'Alelio.

Alexander Shlemenko vs. Ikuhisa "Minowaman" Minowa

The most anticipated bout of the night in my eyes came as two time Bellator Middleweight tournament winner Alexander Shlemenko takes on everyone's favorite Japanese Giant Killer, Minowaman. Only a Russian with the testicular fortitude such an Shlemenko would spend his down time between defeating three men in a three month tournament and his rematch with champion Hector Lombard by taking on a legend of the sport. Bravo for taking the fight alone, let alone what goes down in the cage.

My favorite part? Alexander taking the mic and stating "Hello India. Hector, I kill you" very non-shalantly. Shlemenko is officially my new favorite Russian.

Todd Dufee vs. Neil Grove

Big Men headlined the night, when Todd "The Duffman": Duffee took on Bellator familiar Neil Grove in an attempt to break the cage floor with weight. In classic style of these two, someone fell down quickly and couldn't get up.

Balrog: 87.75
Midge: 83.18
TheLastEmpress: 66.12
Beth: 63.29
Rachel: 61.34
Mountaineer: 56.78
Rollo: 46.56
Kat: 35.87
Wolfie: 24.5
Knitty Ninja: 20.1
Rchlr: 17.39
Biggant: 12.86
Harley Hooper: 12.86
Jackie: 7.5
Donna: 4.8
Tim Burke: 1

I'm a bag of mixed emotions kiddies. On one hand, we have the Welterweight tournament for Bellator tomorrow. Pretty sweet right? We are getting guys cutting weight for the lower tournament (similar to their LW tourney) giving us a 8-man 3-month fight fest with names like Ben Saunders, Bryan Baker, Karl Amoussou, and Chris Lozano. Not all huge stars, but all extremely talented FIGHTERS. 60% of the time, they bring an exciting fight everytime.

But on the other hand, my pick for tournament winner Brian Foster is out of the tournament due to some shenanigans with being cleared by the commission. Weaksauce! For those of you who don't know who Foster is, or are thinking "oh, UFC drop out"- correct yourself immediately. Brian Foster is a hardcore mofo. Dude left the UFC on a two fight win streak, with his last fight being a submission win over Matt Brown. Yeah. He left for medical reasons, then came back and destroyed two opponents last October before getting signed by Bellator. And now he isn't fighting.

How's that for a Debbie Downer? Brought ya up, then I brought ya down. But it's ok, cuz the ride ascends once more cuz we get 10 free units of betting goodness! OOoooh yaaaah. Sorry Mr. Foster, but it's time to throw some money down some money even if I can't win a retirement on your bout.

This is the last Betting Fix of the month, so be wise. Don't compromise. Just visualize. Don't dramatize. Just get your bets on.

Fight lines and betting rules are after the jump.

Continue reading this post »

So here's the deal people. We have some fake money and some real fights. You need to place some really fake bets with this fake money on these real fights, and thus win a really large amount of fake money. Or, really, you could just lose all your fake money. But then you'd shame your real family and your fake friends. So lets bypass that option and just win, shall we?

We have a line for The Ultimate Fighter: Live and we a few lines for Bellator 62. I'd lecture you on the vast importance of your choices tonight, maybe even tell you of the consequences that may unravel the very fabric of time if you make the wrong choice. Repercussions may not be the best word to describe it, but it's the first that comes to mind. I'll opt out of shattering your grip on reality and let you at it. The gambling odds and rules are after the jump. click the link, before it's too late.

Saturday Evening Edits

Here's how it all panned out. Nice work ladies! As Midge said, you must be sharing menstrual cycles and super psychic powers!

Continue reading this post »

During the Betting Fix, I tried to tell you all of wonders of the German tank Sheila Gaff. The girl can do more damage to your face with her fists in 10 seconds than the entire German army can do to London in 10 months of bombing runs. For those of you who did not tune in, shame shame. Gaff took on 5-1 Chute Box finisher Jennifer Maia, who much like Gaff, has finished her opponent in each and every one of her wins. This bout was destined to bring excitement and it did.

The ladies didn't disappoint, with Sheila Gaff KTFO Jennifer Maia in only ten seconds! The German Tank is now 3-0 at 125 lbs, with all three bouts ending in viscous KO's. And the total time it took her to knock out three opponents? One minute and 52 seconds. Before the drop, Sheila went 7-4 (7-3 not counting a DQ for kneeing a downed opponent) against some tough tough, bouts such as Milana Dudieva and Romy Ruyssen (who headlines Invicta FC 1 against Marloes Coenen on April 28th). Despite fighting in the 135-145 pound range against much larger opponents, Gaff still found a way to finish in all seven of her wins.

Get hyped! Lorenzo Fertitta is right- Zuffa could easily create flourishing women's divisions if they chose to. So enjoy our little video, and dream of the day you hear Rogan and Goldie calling something like this.

Eric Pringle vs. Thiago Santos II was supposed to go down tomorrow night as the headliner for Bellator 61. If you forgot the ball-tastical nut shot No Contest that was Prindle vs. Santos I, then you probably shouldn't click here. If you clicked that link, you are probably confused, and slightely bored. Good. Your inability to remember Eric Prindle's testicles entering his stomach along with Thiago Santos's lower leg is most likely a self defense mechanism instilled naturally so you can still lay on your back at night without fear of somebody's big toe entering your body from between your legs.

It's ok to forget. We could almost pretend that this is Ericle Prindle vs. Thiago Santos I, except that they aren't fighting anymore and we still don't have a winner to last season's Heavyweight tournament. That's your cue to be sad. It's ok to be sad.

But it's ok to be happy too! This week not only houses the first real episode of The Ultimate Fighter: Live, it has the opening round of the Bellator Middleweight Tournament too! If that's not enough, find joy that Zuffa CEO Lorenzo Ferttita has come out to declare he believes that there is enough female talent for UFC matchmakers to make thriving divisions! Finally! Chute Box product Jennifer Maia is taking on German Wonder-Tank Shiela Gaff this weekend at Cage Warriors 4 in Dubai. How many of you knew? How many of you even have a clue how AMAZING of a fight this is on paper? If Zuffa truly had their hands on female divisions, and not Showtime, you would giddy like a school-girl and most likely wet yourself in anticipation (just a little).

So get your giddy on, cuz we have a bright future of MMA ahead of us which begins tomorrow with bountiful winnings of theoretical riches! We've got a MW tournament, we've got our betting odds, and some of us have Brooklyn. Join us after the jump for this week's The Betting Fix.

*Sunday Evening Edit*

The Wolf man is back in a big way, over doubling his doe with a big bet on Brian Rodgers doing what he does best. I'm extremely jealous, as this was my desired pick, but I didn't get in there until after his bout! Mountaineers and Balrog turned in a good showing, while the rest of us did what we do best- lost the shirts on our backs. It may be sexy, but it's not going to pay the hypothetical rent.

Wolfie: 24.5
Mountaineer: 16.72
Balrog:12.86
Last Empress: 7.88
Rachel: 7.35
Midge: 6.43

The rest of us: 0

Continue reading this post »

Mirko Cro Cop put on one last fight in retirement fashion against Ray Sefo over the weekend in his homeland of Croatia. The bout came via K-1 rules, and was a wonderful good-bye to one of my favorite fighters in the history of fighting (The only time I ever didn't root for Cro Crop was when he fought Pat Barry). Ray Sefo, being in his latter years like Cro Cop, proved to be a perfect choice for a retirement opponent. He is an extremely skilled, tough veteran but his general athleticism has waned. He isn't too fast or too strong for the aged Croatian, yet he comes with a big name and a solid losable challenge as Cro Cop would only naturally demand.

Check out the bout, and say your goodbye's to the man who's torso led to the fork in the road of life. Whether you veer right to the hospital or left to the cemetery, all roads led to bad assery. Thank you Mr. Filipovic for the good times. We all look forward to you wrestling small Asian men on Japanese gameshows!

The flames of this crazy MMA thing are spreading internationally like a wildfire during a Texan August. Somewhere right now, Dana White is saying "I told you so". as Mumbai, India sleeps off it's SFL 1 hangover. Super Fight League brought the big guns out for India's biggest MMA event to date, mixing a blend of Bollywood entertainment and Mixed Martial Arts action. A plethora of Indian stars showed up to watch the dual concert / sporting event, and Phil Baroni even showed up to commentate. I particularly find intrigue with the promotion's constant pushing that these are real fights. India has had a long love affair with choreographed fights, so watching their film and movie stars' reactions are extremely interesting.

Lucky for all of us, the particularly AWESOME event has been put on You Tube for all of us to see for free and at our leisure. Thank you India for not only bringing the spectacle, but bringing it in a free and easy to view format for all of us lazy Westerners.

A few highlights of the event:

1:48:00 - Undefeated Ukrainian finisher Lena Ovchynnikova is as beautiful as she is dangerous, and she made her way to India to take on Serbian Sanja Sucevic. Lena came into the bout with an 8-0 MMA, 7-0 Kickboxing record compared to Sanja's 2-1 record, and to start it looked to be obvious. However, as the match progresses we get an extremely entertaining back and forth bout. FOTN easy.

1:47:10 - The best official results announcement ever.

2:10:30 - The main event of two 310+ pound men with Bob Sapp taking on James Thompson. That's a lot of man, and just the right amount of freak show.

0:36:00 - India went 3-0 against Sri Lanka starting off with a dominant performance by Lakwinder Sekhon over Madura Rathnayake.

1:06:30 - This is not something that I have ever anticipated seeing go down in a cage.

0:12:10 - Although 'Professor X' Xavier Foupa-Pokam looked to be back to his old self for the first time since his bitched attempt to enter the UFC's Octagon back in 2009 and his string of finishing losses that followed.

1:33:00 - Indian Cheerleaders? Yes please!

Ladies and gentlemen, I don't quite believe that you fully understand what's going on here. This isn't make believe. There are no fairies in my tail. We have monkeys upon monkeys eating a rainbow on a Tuesday afternoon. On today's terrorist threat color coded candy chart, we'd be at a 'Magenta'. The Clockwork Magenta of all things.

Prepare yourself to declare shenanigans, as today's Betting Fix comes with a hoot, a nanny, and a rule change that you might just want to put a helmet on prior to experiencing. From this day forth when we have multiple events to bet on, we will all be given 10 units for EACH event to play with. Que the sounds of shock and awe-

For example, if you happened to have Bellator's Featherweight tournament season premiere and TUF's "get into the house" fights season premiere on the same night, then you would get 10 units to bet on Bellator and 10 units to bet on TUF. And what a Betting Fix that would be if we had a Bellator FW tournament card and a TUF Premiere all at once! That would be great, especially if they threw the Bellator FW Championship in there too. And made the TUF's 16 fight premiere live! Ha, a boy could dream.

Anywho, I forget who all is fighting this weekend but I think there are two cards so we shall all get 10 units to bet one Event #1 and another 10 units to bet on Event #2.

*Sunday Evening Update*

Before I cough up the goods, I have some explaining to do. First, we didn't get to see who picked first on TUF Live, and thus that line was a squash. If you bet on it, you kept your units. You didn't win any extra, but you didn't lost anything either. Secondly, those of you who didn't read the new rules and thus didn't use all of your units don't get to keep those. Shame shame, not reading my Pulitzer worthy prose.

With that said, congratulations Rachel, who made us all look bad with her impeccable betting skills! The rest of our scores are below. Stay tuned next week for an update on our monthly totals along with new lines!

Rachel: 27.32
Midge: 26.25
Beth: 22
Rchlr: 14.39
Biggant: 12.86
Harley Hooper: 12.86
Balrog: 11.43
KatGirl: 10.14
LastEmpress: 9.46
Mountaineer: 6.49
Donna: 4.8
Tim Burke: 1

Continue reading this post »

Oooooh god! The anticipation has amassed to dangerous proportions. It's like a bottle of Surge shaken like a misbehaving child. The world stands still as if some wall in Germany was falling. Ok, so maybe not. Half of you most likely forgot about these totals, while under half of the other half of you just did the math (or hired your little sister to do it for you). But either way, I've got some mildly trustworthy numbers for your reading delight! Don't worry, I'm hardly the record keeper for the Combat Sport Authority of New South Wales. I can count to thirty!

We had another close close month here, with Bloody Elbow's Timothy Burke coming in at second place to our very own... *pa-drum roll* KatGirl!!!! Oh kats! It's raining cats and Kats! My signature is about to be a Katastrophe! Ok, I'm done.

Good job Kat! You get to choose my signature for the month of March! Anything your little Kat heart desires, as long as the GG2MMA bosslady Goddesses approve of it. Oh wait... you ARE a GG2MMA bosslady! The rest of us losers shall have to just bask in your glory, and look at our meager earnings below.

Kat: 34.91
Tim Burke: 32.89
BigNat: 30
Donna: 27.25
Rchlr: 24.3
Balrog: 22.52
Rollo: 20.5
Midge: 18.07
Beth: 17.5
Knitty Ninja: 17.7
TheLastEmpress: 16.41
YelloPanda: 11.25
Mountie: 5.61
Harley: 5.61

It looks like the Line Makers have finally attempted to stop the bleeding by putting Frankie Edgar in as the favorite for the first time in years. It's about time, but too little too late. We've smelt blood and are on their jugulars. This is the last week to get our bet on in February and the GG2MMA degenerates are chomping at the bit. Afterall, the winner of this month's Betting Fix gets to chose my signature for March! If that's not enough to get your shimmies sham shamed, then perhaps this will.

With the power of Saitiama Super Arena, I invest in you ability to snuff out the will to go on within Line Makers across the globe. Our units may not be real, but the desire to make my signature ridiculous is. So get your bet on, before your bet gets on you! (ew)

*Sunday Evening Edit*

24 hours later, some of us may still be feeling like we were mugged by a trio of blind judges and their seeing eye dogs last night; me being one of them. I was so sure Mizugaki won, that I went to the bathroom instead of waiting for the announcement. I didn't find out until hours later and had a tremendously out of place, extremely vocal "Come on man!" moment. But for every one of our moans, there's a cry for big money winning joys! This week , the last of February betting, proved extremely fruitful for many betters. Although BigNat tripled his money and busted out 30 nuts on The Master to take home first place, we had a slew of other big winners out there like old man Rollo and rookie ace Rchlr both over doubling up on their units. You kids make your mothers proud.

Check out the results from UFC 144, below. We'll have this month's totals up by the end of the month, along with the Quarter's tally (pending figuring out who a certain someone was betting on)

Continue reading this post »

Some people say unnecessary, unabashed, uncontrollable gambling is a disease. I call it a proper Tuesday night! The Betting Fix is here to fix all of your too much money problems, with a special Deluxe Tuesday Edition 2500! Now, doesn't that sound funner than a bag full of puppies?

Ok, fine. You got me. I forgot to post the Betting Fix on time. I thought that UFC on Fuel: Diego Sanchez vs. Jake Ellenberger was going down on Saturday. I blame Zuffa, FOX, and their maddening schedule of channel changes and altering days of the week. It's entirely their fault...yah. That seems like a good excuse....

So to distract you from the lies and propaganda of an addict, lets bust out some free units of betting fixery and slam down our choices for tomorrow's fight card! There are some juicy lines to jump into head first this week. At this point, nobody has smoked their chances of taking home supreme victory and crowning my new signature for the month of March. So bust out your ball of crystal and makes some super tough, life altering decisions.

Rules, regulations, and all the fight odds you can stick inside of a well-seasoned hog are after the jump!

*Extremely Late Edit* So the story goes, Beth was phoning it in this week. Lies and propaganda I say. I'm thinking she deliberately lured us into a position where our guards were down and our wallets were open. Then she struck with precision accuracy. This has been planned for weeks undoubtedly. She killed it, turning her 10 units in 17.5 units. I'd say her twin was in a close second, but let's not lie here. Beth killed it. But even more impressive was Mr. YellowPanda of the Yellow Forest. Dude bet on Stefan Struve AND Dave Herman, and still whooped most of our asses. Now that's just ballah status. You enjoy your 1.25 additional units YellowPanda. You earned them.

Beth: 17.5

Donna: 13.5

Tim Burke: 11.6

YelloPanda: 11.25

Kat: 9.71

Midge: 8.57

Empress: 7.58

Balrog: 7.5

Mountie: 5.61

Harley: 5.61

Everyone Else: Fatty Zero's

Continue reading this post »

There's something beautiful about the set of rules used for Mixed Martial Arts in Asia. Maybe it's the five minute optional break after an eye poke that we so desperately need under the Unified Rules. Maybe its the ability to kick and knee to the head while on the ground, effectively eliminating that stupid "My hand is on the floor, you can't knee me in the face" loophole (not to mention simultaneously making North-South the bee's knees and making Jon Fitch the deadliest man alive). Maybe it's the fact that an Asian guy can win a decision fighting in a cage. I don't know. But I like it.

What I also like is ONE FC- Asia's premier MMA organization. Jakarta held 2012's first event with Filipino Ole Laurson taking on Japan's Felipe Enomoto. Talk about a good fight. I could break down the fight, and talk about who's a champion in what discipline prior to entering MMA, but you're probably going to look that up after watching this fight. It's a fun one.

(via OneFCMMA)

For the uninformed masses of the West, who amply shame their families, ONE FC 2 went down last night...or this morning...or I guess it was tonight in far Eastern time parabolas. Either way it went down, and I'll just leave it at that before we dwell into a ranting debate of time differentials and spacial anomolies that so often come with the magnificence that is a ONE FC event. If you haven't noticed, ONE FC is here and it is here to stay. With an gym/promotion alliance that has effectively created a feeder system for fighters to progress to the big stage, a television deal far surpassing anything ZUFFA has attained, a CEO with a cool name, and a spectacle of lights and magic that is the live event- ONE FC is indeed Asia's premier mixed martial arts organization. They did it, and they did it before ZUFFA marched in to the beat of a Western drum. Fully expect Pride vs. UFC esque debates in the future.

For now, we are on our second show. The event was jam packed with some really amazing fights that most of your probably don't fathom quite yet. But that's ok- you can just head on over to Anton Tabuena's lovely breakdown over at Bloody Elbow. For now, I will just feed you that which all Westerns and Japanese can agree on loving- Bob Sapp freakshow fights! Hellz yes. Bob Sapp vs. Rolles Gracie co-headlined the event that went down sometime in the past-ish time frame, and it's right here for your spectacular spectating spectacles. Enjoy, and make sure you catch ONE FC's next event live. Sleep is over-rated, afterall.

Rolles Gracie vs. Bob Sapp One FC 2

February is upon us with it's freshly squeezed tantilizing tidbits of gambling debauchery! Mmm tidbits. There's nothing better than tiddle bittle of excitement violently mashed into your good morning acai bowl. A warm glass of pee simply doesn't leave you nearly as satisfied, I'm sorry Mr. Machida, but this is the truth. Just ask Gal's Guide's very own contributing member Balrog, who blasted through the tidbits of the competition to become January's Betting Fix weiner winner! No bossum hugs for Balrog, but hey! He did get to choose my lovely new signature. He claims it has to do with Black History month, but I believe this is just a classy cover to sniff butts. But then again, I'm a strong theorist that any sort of reference to history is simply a means to sniff butts. Being in the middle of a twin-induced bossum hug of glorious glory is pretty sweet. But for our friend Balrog, sniffing butts reigns supreme.

Don't be intimidated by the Bal of Rog's massive penchant for butts and good betting choices, fore in these acts there is always a downfall. Maybe someone farts? Maybe someone pulls a Matt Serra? Maybe someone pulls a Matt Serra by farting? Surely there shall be a moment of opportunity to surpass the great Balrog's uber glory and dethrone him from the Betting Fix throne of bad assery. And by throne, we mean stool. And by stool, we don't mean sniffing butts.

This week we have a fabtaculouso card with UFC 143! There are tons of terribly hard fights to call here, and a few duh choices that will most likely end in spectacular upsets due to me calling them duh choices. What's there not to like about that? Total, utter betting shenanigans! That's how we like it, so roll up your hypothetical sleeve, pull down your proverbial pants, and prepare to give it or take- cuz this is the Betting Fix.

Fight lines and betting rules are after the jump...

*Sunday Evening Edit* We had a very close main event this week both in the octagon and out. Yes, I'm leading into this week's scores with that cheesy clique of an intro- deal with it. Miss Donna of Gal's Guide to MMA Royalty through a monkey in Bloody Elbow's elite blogger Tim Burke's wrench (or something like that). Donna's 13.75 units matched Tim's 13.75 units with authority, bringing a drop dead tie to start February's madness. We'll have to defer to next week's UFC on Fuel to see who comes out on this one on top. Kat managed to add an extra unit to walk away with 11 this week, while the rest of us were lucky to walk home with any at all.

Donna: 13.75
Tim Burke: 13.75
Midge: 9.5
Kat: 11
Balrog: 8.22
Last Empress: 4.73
The rest of us: 0

Continue reading this post »

Last night's Betting Fix numbers are in, and they were surprisingly successful for many. Well, unless you thought that Demien Maia still has the ability to beat a young up and comer who's strengths lie in the ground game who is coming on short notice and having to lose 30+ pounds in 11 days. Then, your numbers probably look more like mine, and less like Mountaineer's, Harley's, and Rollo's. Feel free to go check out last night's results to see for yourself.

More importantly, we have winners for January as a whole! If your memory serves you better than a half-tard inbred puppy, then you probably recall my promise to allow the monthly winner to choose my signature for February! Well, I am a man of my word(s), and cannot deny the fruits of your labor. So with no further adue, I give you our monthly scores! -Note- If you failed your family, and walked away with a fat zero for January, I went ahead and left your name out of the rankings. We'll just pretend I'm out of salt to rub in your wounds.

The Numbers!

Balrog: 31.69
Beth: 26.2
Rachel: 24.11
Midge: 20.89
Mountaineer: 17.44
Harley: 15.26
Kat: 13.8
Rollo: 12.86
Tim Burke: 12.14
Belfort: 7.08
Empress: 6.21

Congratulations to Balrog, who successfully edged out the entire staff of GG2MMA with authority! Way to show us who's boss buddy. Feel free to leave a comment as to what you would like my signature to be for February, and it shall be (pending approval from the powers who be).

Remember, these numbers will carry over for the big quarterly prize at the end of March! But all of you have a fresh monthly start next week for UFC 143, as the winner of February will once again get to choose my signature for the following month! Booyah!

There has been a number of really sweet changes to the UFC production since the FOX deal emerged. I'm really liking the FUEL TV graphics, pre-fight parade, fight recaps during the event, and especially the post-fight interviews. FUEL TV has been smart enough to bring in Ariel Helwani, the best interviewer in the game, to conduct their pre/post fight interviews and the results couldn't be any better.

Not only are getting the standard great interviews we expected from Helwani, we are getting them immediately! YouTube is already a flutter with the sounds of Dana White promoting and Chael Sonnen being Chael Sonnen. So join us this Sunday morning to bask in the glory that is the UFC on Fox 2 Post Fight Interviews with Ariel Helwani!

More Interviews after the jump!

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There has been a lot of betting going down in the past few days, my friends. I thought we were a group of degenerate gambling scum on Monday, but by Thursday Zuffa has put a whole new meaning into the word "gambling". Earlier in the week Mr. Lorenzo Fertitta put out a public letter to Congress supporting SOPA (for those of you unfamiliar with the bill, you shame your family. It is the crap legislation that is trying to be passed that would give the government the power to take down any site on the internet within America. Ya know, like Communist China, N. Korea, and Myanmar/Burma roll. Protect your freedom. Educate yourself).

Now, we can all understand where Mr. Fertitta is coming from. Afterall, if the goverment can shut down domains with a strike of a finger, he could get all those illegal UFC streamers taken down! More money for the UFC and Lorenzo. I get it. so he rolled the dice, hoped for the best, and went on his marry way. Not much of a gamble right?

Wrong! Who do you think hates SOPA more than anyone in the world? The Internet saavy youth. Who is the saaviest of the saavy? The hackers. So in response, we have a friendly group of activists hack UFC.com and redirect it to a warning page with some odd Hitler with girly eyes picture (Google it kiddies).

End game, right? Zuffa lost their bet, and walked away from the situation, right? Wrong. Dana White followed up the warning with some standard F-Bombs and lingo we usually see used against his MMA competitors. The dude went "Lorenzo lost the bet... maybe I should just put it all on number 27 and let it fly". Now that's some ballsy ballery right there.

Sadly for Dana, the wheel landed on number "You're Screwed" and the hackery continued, this time releasing all of his personal information. You name it. Phone numbers, addresses, criminal history, SSN- the whole nine yards. The dude rolled the dice, and the dice landed on a number that wasn't even on the board.

So now we get to see if Zuffa cuts their loses and goes home, or if they hit the ATM to throw down again like a true degenerate gamblers that we have come to know and love! How exciting!

Although our Betting Fix hardly has so much to lose this week as Zuffa does, we have oh so much more to gain! this week is the FINAL Betting Fix for the month! On Sunday, monthly totals shall be tallied, and a winner shall be announced. A winner who gets to choose my signature for the month of February. Now, don't be dissapointed that February is the calendar's special needs month with it's weak 28 day cycle. We threw in a 29th day this year just for you!

So join us after the jump, and get that bet on!

*Sunday "Morning" Edit*

The numbers are in, and we have some winners. We also have some losers, but I went ahead and left them off the list here. You have no units, why rub it in? That was a hypothetical question kiddies, no need to answer. This week we have our very own Mountaineers winning it all, turning his 10 units into a whopping 17.14 units! Weidman was a good choice. A few of us, including myself, might reconsider betting against him when fighting a top level MW on short notice with 10 days to lose 30+ pounds. Good job Mountaineers! You picked a better one man choice than Harley and Rollo. You get a cookie.

Mountaineer: 17.14
Harley: 15.26
Rollo: 12.86
Balrog: 10.29
Beth: 8.01
Empress: 6.21
Midge: 3.05

Continue reading this post »

So here we go kiddies. Welcome to a long line of Friday Night Fights put on by the lovely folks at Zuffa and FOX. Mark your calendars, tell Siri to give you a heads up, set your alarm, prepare your DVR's, and let your Grandman know what's up. It's happening whether you like it or not, so I suggest you jump on the proverbial bandwagon before it gets too crowded and you have to sit next to Mountaineers. He will drool on your during your voyage- this is fact. So get on while the gettin' gets good!

There's bound to be a plethora of awesome streaming forth through your cable television with fights like Melvin Guillard vs. Jim Miller, Pat Barry vs. Christian Morecraft, and Jorge Rivera vs. Eric Schafer. So join us in our fruitless advance towards our theoretical dreams of hypothetical riches! Does that sentence make sense? Possibly. Will you make cents from the Betting Fix? No. But you might win the chance to choose my next Signature! Oh yes, humiliation abound for your sick delights. We are on Event #3 of a four event month, so get on it! And of course, we have the coveted special top-secret super prize for the quarterly winner! This weeks hint? You put your arms inside of it (but its not your lover!)

We have betting odds, fight lines, punch, and pie after the jump! Ok...so we might be out of pie...and punch. I'm so ashamed at my fattiness!

*Sunday Morning Edit* We have a weiner! winner! Ms. Rachel of Hearts came in with a fatty winning this week, turning her 10 units into 15.26 while riding the Pat Barry train to riches! I came in a close second, failing due to not letting it all ride on Barry. I'll learn from this one. Kat killed it as always, and Mr. Tim Burke of BE debuted this season with a health dose of winning. Nice! This week's numbers are below.

Rachel: 15.26
Midge: 14.3
Kat: 13.8
Tim Burke: 12.14
Balrog: 9.4
Beth: 7.63
Mountaineers: 0
Rollo: 0

Don't forget that next week is our FINAL Betting Fix of the month, and the last chance to get that money in and win the chance to chose my signature! Oooooh yaaaaah! I'll leave the monthly tallies out tonight, to build the anticipation!

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Not that it really comes as some sort of a surprise, but Anthony Johnson has been booted by Zuffa after failing to make weight for the second time in a row, even after moving up in weight class.The dude came in 12 pounds over the middleweight limit, and 27 pounds heavier than the weightclass he has tried to fight fought at his entire career. Dana White, as always, had something to say-

"This is his third time. Three strikes and you're gone."

"That was one of the most unprofessional things I've ever seen. The guy was at 170 pounds. He moved up to 185 pounds so this wouldn't happen anymore, and this is the worst weightcutting disaster he's ever had. He almost ruined the co-main event here in Brazil. I don't know what else to say about that one. I'm not happy about it."

"I don't dislike the guy. I like him very much actually. When you talk to Anthony Johnson, he's a good guy.

"I don't know who you blame in this one. Do you blame him? Do you blame his team? Do you blame his camp? I mean who takes the blame in this one? Ultimately, you're a grown man. You're responsible for your own actions."

I'm taking the positive viewpoint here. Anthony Johnson in a Bellator MW tournament would be aaaawesome! Or Anthony Johnson vs. Hector Lombard would be fun too! Let's get Fatty into the mix over on MTV2 where he doesn't have to fight guys like Koscheck and Belfort. He'll do well...unless he misses weight AGAIN.