SB Nation User Blog: The Phinisher

The Greatest and Most Difficult Question Ever

The Phinisher — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 14:03:42 -0000

Ah, fellow Dolphins fans, I hope you're all ready. You especially Rzayo and Left Coast. The ultimate mind-bender of them all is about to descend on the noble Phinsider's website.

Are you ready?

Can you possibly fathom how difficult the answer is to obtain?

Do you believe there is even a proper method to determining the right answer?

Here you go:

Who would be a better running back?Ricky Brown or Ronnie Williams?

Poll

Who is the better running back - Ricky Brown or Ronnie Williams?

What If It Were True - Parcells Contacts Usain Bolt?

The Phinisher — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 16:12:20 -0000

I am sure this is make-believe but nontheless I will place it as an official rumor.

Usain Bolt as a WR is not as crazy as making Christian Okoye a RB. Durability was the concern there as it would be for someone like Usain.

Still, I honestly would not put this kind of stunt beyond Bill Parcells. Parcells chief scouting technique is a player's measurables, followed by production and then finally experience.

Usain Bolt certainly fits into one of those categories.

Okay, a lot of the above was just BS to fill the word requirement. Enjoy the story.

Enjoy the Parcells & Usain Bolt nonsense.

Or is it?

Chad Henne Can Break A Pane Of Glass...

The Phinisher — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 04:16:03 -0000

I though I'd share this with ya'll. This is absolutely great.

Taken from the Jaguars official site's live blog. Read it and enjoy.

8/16/08 at 8:41 PM Henne to Ginn. What a throw by Henne. Now they're calling it incomplete. We might get a challenge on this one.

8/16/08 at 8:42 PM Tony Sparano is challenging. He got em both down. It would be out of bounds at the Jaguars 25. It's all a matter of establishing possession, I think.

8/16/08 at 8:43 PM The ruling stands. Ginn didn't establish possession. He beat Mathis.

8/16/08 at 8:14 PM Pennington looks pretty good. He still can't break a pane of glass but he can nibble a little and hit the slant.

8/16/08 at 8:14 PM Witherspoon does it again. He's out to the 43. He's the star of this game for the Jaguars so far.

8/16/08 at 8:18 PM The Jags are going for it on fourth and two at midfield.

8/16/08 at 8:19 PM Garrard had Walker wide open deep and overthrew him. Miami takes over at its 49.

8/16/08 at 8:19 PM It was a very aggressive play-call by offensive coordinator Dirk Koetter and it should've been an easy touchdown throw. Hey, if you're gonna have a bad night, the preseason is the right time to have one.

8/16/08 at 8:20 PM Chad Henne has replaced Pennington, who was five of six for 55 yards.

8/16/08 at 8:22 PM Henne can break a pane of glass; a pane of plexiglass.

THEN LATER

8/16/08 at 8:41 PM Henne to Ginn. What a throw by Henne. Now they're calling it incomplete. We might get a challenge on this one.

8/16/08 at 8:42 PM Tony Sparano is challenging. He got em both down. It would be out of bounds at the Jaguars 25. It's all a matter of establishing possession, I think.

8/16/08 at 8:43 PM The ruling stands. Ginn didn't establish possession. He beat Mathis.

Great hearing it from the other guy for once (again - we did win once upon a time). Don't you think?

via www.chrisrue.com

The Phinisher

AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Phinisher — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 16:07:33 -0000

Deep breath. 1,2, 3, 4...

This is ridiculous! Have any of you (who cry hypocrisy and point fingers at Parcells & Co for signing Pennington) paid attention to Parcells career? At all?

Vinny Testeverde, for crying-out-loud, went everywhere he did.

Drew Bledsoe, who was essentially a JUGS machine at the end of his career, was staving off Tony Romo for weeks before Parcells (probably Jerry Jones) put Romo in.

In fact, I'm not surprised Keyshawn Johnson and Drew Beldsoe weren't getting into fights in the Dolphins locker room on the first day of camp.

BILL PARCELLS DOES THIS. This is what we got when he signed on. A stubborn but hihgly effective personell manager.

The youth movement is intact. Signing Chad Pennington does nothing to hurt that movement. He is simply better than the current vet they have. It's a simple issue of upgrade.

Josh McCown was a waste of money, in my opinion. He would have started too, something I've maintained for a while. Those in the John Beck fan club had better wake up to the fact that he had an extremely unfair hill to climb. He had to be much better, not just somewhat better or equal, in order to start for this team.

With Henne pushing him already and Beck's inability to blast McCown out of the water has put his career as a Dolphin in jeopardy.

That said, here's my top reasons why signing Pennington was a brilliant, not just good, decision.

1. Josh McCown and Chad Pennington are not in the same league. McCown is injury prone, albeit not like Pennington, and is a far inferior player. McCown's best season is like Pennington's worst. End of conversation.

2. Chad Pennington is a game manager. His historically best completion percentage and substatial intellect will make him a very good tutor to Chad Henne. Josh "too country" McCown was only informing Henne about the finer points of chain saws and collard greens (which I like).

The Dolphins will be a running team. Dan Henning's offense is an extremely conservative power offense. The QB is in charge of not losing the game. That is it. The league has moved away from this era, which was exempligfied by the Super Bowl teams of the early 2000's.

3. I didn't like Chad Pennington. He was 7-1 against the Phins and more than once made me look like an idiot. I'd be explaining to my friend about how Pennington had a noodle arm and then he'd light up the Dolphins with pass after well thrown pass. See December 2006.

4. Pennington will have a presence. Henne already seems to have that "it" that good leaders have. Players already respect him for what he's done as well as his presence on the field. McCown has never had this trait. John Beck is too shook from last year (and may not be a good leader in general) to have this quality.

Chad Pennington will be able to talk in the huddle like a guy who's had success before. Players will respect him. Did I mention he's 7-1 against the Dolphins?

5. The Vets like Joey Porter, Vonnie Holliday and Will Allen will appreciate the upgrade, even if the fans do not. They want to win soon.

6. In the style of Little Nicky's Beck Facts, here is a misconception about Pennington that seems to floating around.

He will only stand in the way of the youth movement.

Reality: He was signed for a two-year contract. He is injury prone. Chad Henne will see the field sooner than later.

7. He is a competitive guy who has been mistreated by his old franchise. A franchise that he will get a chance to upstage on game one. Do any of you remember Joey Harrington's best game as a Dolphin? Or how about Daunte Culpepper's best game as a Raider?

Vengeance is sweeter than honey.

8. Another misconception: Chad Pennington showed last year that he can't play anymore. The Jets had a terrible line last year. Absolutely terrible. They had no running game last year either.

The Dolphins have a better offensive line and running game, by far, that the Jets. Pennington should have a good season if he can stay healthy. (This improved Dolphins line is completely contingent upon David Martin's never seeing a snap again).

Mangini is an idiot and wants to pretend that he is a part of the Parcells and Belichick genius. He is not and he has never liked Pennington.

9. This one is sad. The Dolphins wide receivers are not Duper and Clayton. They have trouble catching consistently and Chad Pennington's "touch" might be a good thing.

Okay, this last one was a stretch.

In the end I think this has more to do with the John Beck fanclub. Ernest Hemingway once said that the most important thing a writer needs is a built-in *#%@ detector.

Mine starting beeping last year during the Eagles game. The alarm sounded two weeks later against the Jets.

Give Pennington a chance.

www.thephinisher.com

The Dolphins Are Better Than The Bills

The Phinisher — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:29:54 -0000

Okay. Thought I'd lay it all out here.

First, there's the little fact that the Phins are the winningest team since the AFL/NFL merger, with the Steelers nipping at our heels.

That aside. Let's talk success.

The Miami Dolphins

League Championships: 2
Super Bowl Championships: 2
Conference Championships: 5
Division Championships: 12

The Toronto Bills (and their historical Buffalo franchise)

League Championships: 2
AFL Championships: 2
Conference Championships: 4
Division Championships: 10

The AFL thing is so cute and old timey. Super Bowls? Only one team has not won a Super Bowl in the AFC East.

Any takers on who that team is?

I think if they don’t win a Super Bowl in the next eight years they should be demoted to the CFL. I mean, seriously, they are really dragging down the AFC East.

www.thephinisher.com

When Cam Cameron Roamed The Sideline

The Phinisher — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 21:12:22 -0000

Cam Cameron is a name that inspires paper bags to become wet.

It also is a name that vaguely reminds us of 1950's doo wop and evangelical tv hosts.

But I ask you, can you remember when Cam Cameron roamed the sideline? Were you there when Samkon Gado carried the rock home? Did you witness with your own eyes the time when Cleo Lemon perfectly executed a play-action fake from a formation with an open backfield?

If you somehow can't remember and need something to recall the tender memories of 2007, well then the NFL has just that.

Honestly. This has to be the worst depth chart in Miami Dolphins history. I can't wait until they take it down.

http://www.nfl.com/teams/depthchart?team=MIA

Enjoy everyone. Things simply must be better.

www.thephinisher.com

Quentin Moses Is Jason Taylor's Shoe-Filler?

The Phinisher — Thu, 22 May 2008 19:08:57 -0000

I know Anderson is working out there now, but something tells me that if JT is truly done with the Dolphins and no new players arrive then Quentin Moses should have the inside track.

Moses was a guy who was considered to be a steal (he slipped very far) for the Raiders in the 2007 draft.

The Raiders, ever insane, cut the third round pick and he was picked up by the Cardinals. There too he was cut and midway through the season the Dolphins picked him up.

Moses was heralded as a prototypical pass rushing linebacker in a 3-4 and the only knock on him was that he'd have to work harder from a training standpoint. Particularly concerning his overall strength.

Work ethic has been a knock on him, which could be undeserved, and that could also get him cut from Sparano's hard-work Dolphins.

Still, he showed a lot of potential in very limited action last year. Evening racking up 1.5 sacks.

Here's SI's video from his draft profile. He looks great. You all may have seen this from last year.

Just thought you-all might like a refresher.

www.thephinisher.com

Tighten Those Splits and Hit It

The Phinisher — Sat, 17 May 2008 20:51:12 -0000

NFL analyst Pat Kirwan has a really nice article about how some teams, particularly the Dolphins, will move away from a spread offense and bring back the meat and potatoes.

The power rushing game has been absent from the league for some time and because of the spread offense teams are fielding smaller, quicker defenders.

Kirwan thinks that Parcells is going to remind the NFL of its roots.

Anyone know if Larry Csonka has any gas left in the tank?

Kirwan Article

www.thephinisher.com

Jason Taylor Boxing Ring, Right Here

The Phinisher — Tue, 13 May 2008 20:55:24 -0000

Here's what I think is going on in the Jason Taylor saga.

Bill Parcells wants Taylor on the team.

Taylor wants to play for a contender.

Parcells & co. made a halfhearted attempt at trading JT before the draft but asked for too much because they...want...him...back.

Taylor can't come out and say he doesn't want to play for the Dolphins because he doesn't want to hurt the fans (or his legacy).

So instead of being a squeaky wheel like Chad Johnson, Taylor has continuously stirred the pot through passive measures like letting Jason Cole know about his displeasure and writing things like he did on ESPN this week.

Taylor is trying to be as much of a thorn in Parcells side that The Tuna will trade him.

The Tuna is ignoring the thorn as best he can because he doesn't want to trade him.

Essentially they're playing chicken.

What we do know is that Tony Sparano (you know, the Dolphins Head Coach) has talked about how Taylor is going to be an important part in developing Jake Long. He as also said that he is comfortable with and understands what Taylor is doing. No bones about it (how awesome is it when Tony says that?)

Bill Parcells has said that Taylor will be a Dolphin unless he retires.

The outcome?

Well, let's leave it up to a poll.

Poll

What will JT be doing in September?

Siting: Jason Taylor & Vonnie Holliday

The Phinisher — Mon, 05 May 2008 13:28:16 -0000

Well, sort of sited.

Sparano, when talking about advantages Jake Long might have, mentioned that Jason Taylor and Vonnie Holliday might be Long’s best assets. He said that he told Jake that even before the contract was finalized. Jake, apparently was taken aback.

The bottom line: Sparano believes both of the Phins star pass rushers are good teachers and will be able to teach and assist Long in developing and matching the speed of the pro game.

So for now… It seems… Tentatively that… Taylor is in the plans. Halleluiah (said quietly and fearfully). We may yet have a pass rush.

Holliday too, who had a year diminished by injuries and a thin supporting cast, is also garnering the respect he deserves. Sparano, when interviewed at the owner’s meetings, almost forgot to mention Vonnie’s name as a member of the current starting line.

Those folks who worry too much about JT and BP would do well to remember that potentially the most important rookie this year is Tony S.

"No bones about it."