SB Nation User Blog: TheGreenBlazer

Vijay Singh's New Putting Grip

TheGreenBlazer — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:33:28 -0000

When it comes to the putting grips of the game's top players, there should be no surprises nowadays. Vijay Singh reinforced that notion at the AT&T National on Thursday by debuting a cross-handed grip on his belly putter with a dash of claw. Don't be surprised if he adds a SuperStroke prototype to the mix next week.

Vijay has made more putting grip changes than perhaps anyone in the game. Now he has decided to combine every grip change he has ever made.

No more no go on negotiating your CC membership

TheGreenBlazer — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 21:44:59 -0000

Are you currently a member at a chincey, semi-private (otherwise known as public) golf course? Have you stopped bothering to call for a time on a weekday afternoon because you are 95 percent sure the course is filled with outing hacks?

If you answered yes to either of these questions, The Green Blazer has got some truth to drop on ya: Private clubs are suffering; now is the time to negotiate yourself a fatty deal! Follow the steps below and you'll never have to see an outing hack in a cutoff t-shirt again:

Which club is struggling the most: A sign is a sign

You should be able to gauge the clubs that are suffering by word of mouth and the level of desperation in the ads. A sign on the the fence that borders the busiest surrounding round is a good indicator. The Golf Club at Cape Cod in Falmouth, MA temporarily waived its $85,000 initiation to attract temporary members. That is not a move on an, "exclusive enclave," as they bill themselves, but would be a sick opportunity to sneak in.

Call the GM and make him aware of your interest

A GM at the brink of losing his job will cream his pants at prospective members contacting him. By calling and giving him your info, he may even contact you, sweetening the deal if you haven't reached out to him in a while.

Express discontent with one or more of the offerings

The club you are targeting likely already has a deal going, but they might be sugar coating it a bit, so ask questions and call them out on anything that sounds fishy. Maybe the club doesn't offer a cart membership, or maybe their minimums are too high. Whatever it is, make your contact at the club aware that hey ... That sucks. Sensing your discontent, the manager will often offer you something extra without you having to ask.

Do's and Don'ts in Negotiating your deal

Many GM's are up creek without a paddle, their job hanging on by a thread. Even so, most will not circumvent the clubs policy on the dues members pay. If you ask them for lower dues and no initiation, you'll likely end of gaining nothing and looking like a chince in the process. Initiation fees, however, can often be amortized over many years, so definitely tell your contact that you will not be able to pay the entire initiation the first year.

Guest Passes Glore

There is no end to the number of guest passes you can conjure out of a softy manager at a desperate club. If their deal offers 3, the minimum you should ask for is 9.

Start paying next year

If it is mid-season and you're ready, you should be able to work out a deal to get the rest of the current year for free. A great rule when negotiating ... If the incentive you are asking for doesn't show up on their books, they will be inclined to acquiesce to your request.

THERE'S NO GAMBLING AT BUSHWOOD!: Many country clubs are gambling away their exclusive reputation by offering screaming deals to new members. Some clubs are hurting so bad they can't even afford stick em' for their members grips.

Stina Stern-minded on Advice

TheGreenBlazer — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 21:34:56 -0000

Columnist detached from range hack mentality

In this month's Golf Digest, Stina Sternberg tells women golfers to "say no to advice," when approached by swing tip dispensing range hack. It seemed she was making a good point until she states that the babbling range hack would only approach women and would never offer advice to any men. People who have spent enough time on a public practice facility know this is not true.

Range hacks, the talkative ones, will give advice to anyone. They will usually gravitate towards the person who seems most accepting of the advice, but will take what they can get when they can get it. If you've been approached by a know-it-all range hack, you can be guaranteed you weren't his first, probably not even his first of the day.

If you are an obvious beginner, the range hack will take charge of the conversation confidently telling you exactly what you're doing wrong and how to fix it. He will give you the latest drill from, ironically, Golf Digest, and may even show you how it's done. The better you are, the more gingerly he will tread. He will try to initiate an open forum discussing a swing topic, surely tell you what Pelz and Butch said on the matter, and rarely demonstrate it himself.

Range hacks just love to talk about golf ... to anyone man or women. It's safe to say Stina is far removed from the chipping green chop mentality, yet most can agree ... That's a good thing.

For more hilarious articles check out: http://thegreenblazer.blogspot.com

Castle Bay Iron Covers - A Hacktastic Hack Classic

TheGreenBlazer — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 17:58:49 -0000

A hack is not complete without a fine set of Castle Bay iron covers. These covers are made of the finest molded rubber, and feature tight squeeze openings to leave you struggling and annoyed all round long. The top of the line covers feature a string to keep you from losing them, but if you do, just dig through the lost and found of any 9 hole muni to get a replacement. Castle Bay offers a wide variety of colors including black, blue, red, and of course ... green.

PERFECT UP-SELL: Attention Salesman: Castle Bay iron covers is are a great addition to any 21 piece RAM set.

Phil Mickelson's looming career in acting

TheGreenBlazer — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 03:06:21 -0000

Phil Mickelson had a role in Sunday's episode of the HBO hit show Entourage, as "freakishly tall golfing partner."

Phil's weight-loss strategy for the role was to simply elongate himself, thereby distributing his weight more evenly throughout his colossal frame. Plus, his agent negotiated for him to only appear alongside actors he was at least 2 feet taller than. Congratulations Phil, after this Entourage appearance you've really developed a certain stature as an actor.

Mickelson's Callaway shirts are Tailor Made

TheGreenBlazer — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 18:05:25 -0000

The 2008 season on the PGA Tour is now over. Phil Mickelson failed to capture his forth major this year, but will most certainly resume his rigorous training regime that started in the off-season 2007. Mickelson's body went through quite the transformation since the days when his man boobs swayed from side to side as he walked the fairways, but just because the 2008 Phil Mickelson has more defined muscles than the Phil we are used to, doesn't mean he should drop a shirt size ... Or does it? After all, he's only adhering to the standard rule among frat boys: The bigger your guns get, the smaller the shirt should be.

HIDING THE FLAB: Here Mickelson's shirt hits him on the forearm, concealing his flabby biceps.

NO MORE BREASTS: Here Phil is trying a different cut. Now he strategically has the the arms of the shirt hitting him mid-bicep like the rest of the bros on tour.

click here for another hilarious article about Phil's man boobs

Henrick Stevenson ... Stevens

TheGreenBlazer — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 01:32:59 -0000

Henrick Stevenson ... Stevens

Former PGA of America Prez doesn't know Stenson

TheGreenBlazer — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 17:36:22 -0000

Did anyone hear Former PGA of America President, M.G. Orender, completely butcher Henrick Stenson's name when announcing him at the Ryder Cup?

He even had a card to read off. A former PGA of America President (probably one of the top ten jobs in golf) shouldn't have to read a card to identify Henrick Stenson ... especially if he has trouble reading. If you missed it, you can stop by the blog to see it. It's also posted as a Fanshot here.

Andrew Giuliani, part 2

TheGreenBlazer — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 00:26:11 -0000

Andrew Giuliani was lucky enough to be paired with Tiger Woods at the 2001 Buick Classic Pro Am. He was also lucky enough to get a spot on Duke's golf team, but he was removed. Now it is time for him to quit being a little ***** (edit, inappropriate language) and hang up the spikes already.

This week Duke University attorneys (who--between the infamous Duke LaCrosse Case, the female football player lawsuit (yes, Duke football is so bad even girls can make the team) and now this--must be the most overworked college attorney team in the nation) moved to see claims dismissed in the Giuliani case, saying the spoiled little brat (edit, inappropriate language) is a total d-bag (edit, inappropriate language) and deserved to be kicked off the golf team.

"Andrew Giuliani is entitled to no more privileges than any other member of the Duke University student body," the Sept. 10 filing says. "Put simply, Giuliani had no right to play varsity golf; he had an opportunity for the privilege to be part of a team, one ... that he squandered through his own conduct.''

That conduct included "throwing an apple in the face of another player, breaking a golf club during a tournament, injuring a teammate and becoming verbally abusive with a coach," according to The Associated Press.

Perhaps Jim Rome put it best when he said "Nothing says 'gentlemen's sport' like chucking an apple at another guy's face ... I mean the guy did everything except say 'Do you know who I am?'"

And we know exactly who he is, the son of a former New York City mayor and presidential candidate. But the credential that sheds the most light on why little Andrew would think to file a lawsuit in the first place is what his father was before any of that: A lawyer. Go figure.

Hopefully the case is thrown out and we'll finally hear the last of Andrew Giuliani's golfing career.

BWHAA HA HA: Rudy Giuliani, long estranged from his son Andrew, probably thinks Andrew is a little ***** (edit, inappropriate language) as well.

Monty Above the Law

TheGreenBlazer — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 18:36:24 -0000

Despite the fact that Colin Montgomerie is adored by golf fans in Europe, his aloof attitude toward American golf spectators surely hasn't given him a fan-favorite reputation here in the states. Between him and the Simpsons' Mr. Burns, the name "Montgomerie" is regarded with a sort of comedic disdain in the US (although The Blazer appreciates Monty Burns' taste in jackets).

As far as Colin Monty is concerned, his majorless career and unwillingly adopted nicknames such as "Mrs. Doubtfire" seem to have added even more coals to his already red-hot temper. There is one habit that helps Monty neutralize his irritation, however: speeding.
Actually speeding, then using his influence to avoid a ticket, as it seems Monty has crafted his legal hurdling almost masterfully as his lofty fade.

Back in September of '04, Monty was busted driving 96mph near his home in Surrey. The case colapsed after the officer failed to appear in court. Then on February 24, '07, he was caught again (on camera) doing 88 in a 70 zone. This time the case was reported as "not called" after local authorities in Surrey failed to document the incident until after the six month time limitation . . . oops.

Like a round well played with Alastair McLean's help, Monty wasn't able to pull his legal birdies off alone. He enlisted the help of the ever-crafty shyster Nick Freeman. Freeman specializes in using subtle legal technicalities to get celebrity clients off the hook for driving offenses. He's also helped Sir Alex Ferguson and David Beckham get acquitted of driving offenses. Damn, where was this guy when Paris Hilton needed him?

The Blazer wonders, for legendary greens keeper Carl Spackler's sake, can he be of any assistance in golf cart DUIs? Green Blazer Golf