SB Nation User Blog: TheGreenBlazer

Is Golf Digest stupid or just lazy?

TheGreenBlazer — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 01:40:23 -0000

Although The Green Blazer hasn't subscribed to Golf Digest in years, for some reason they keep sending them. It could be from booking Golfnow.com tee times, or maybe they're sending them as a courtesy to stay on G-Blaze's good side. Either way, they pile up faster than our national debt.

Upon seeing the cover of the Jan/2010 edition, I quickly tossed it into the waste basket before even removing the plastic ... The cover is a joke (almost as laughable as Time magazine naming Ben Bernanke "Man of the Year.") What better way to make people take notice than to come up with a fluffy story paralleling Tiger to Obama that allows them to put them both on the cover. "10 things Obama might learn from Tiger," the cover read. After some thought, I decided to pull the mag out of the trash and read the cover story for amusement.

Cover illustration By Michael Elins (Golf Digest actually gives credit for this crappy 5 min photoshopped cover they refer to as an illustration)

The story was clearly completed before the Tiger Woods scandal began, but the publication was released well after. The editor made no effort to even acknowledge the recent tribulations, or better yet, scrap the story altogether. Obviously the lazy hack had already put that month's edition to bed and, in classic "it's too late now" journalist style, decided to stay the course and go the complacent route.

The story starts by saying both men were defined by their fathers (Woods had more in common with Earl than most previously thought), and then goes on to list ten things Obama could learn from Tiger:

1. The Quick Recovery

2.The Cold Ferocity

3. How to Step on Their Necks

4. The Trouble with Compromise

5. The Value of a Few 'Majors'

6. Controlling the message -- and Spending

7. The Swing Change

8. Clothes the Deal

9. You've got to Deliver

10. The Danger of Looking Ridiculous

Put in prospective, the list is nothing short of hilarious. As most people know, Golf Digest is one of Tiger's sponsors, but one look at their website and you can see they're not pulling a CBS and putting a gag order out on Tiger talk. Golf Digest would have been best served to take their own advice as ridiculous is the only word to describe their publishing of this article.

Doug Barron on PEDs

TheGreenBlazer — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:51:26 -0000

Doug Barron on PEDs

Flash Forward to the 2016 Olympics

TheGreenBlazer — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 21:11:06 -0000

Flash Forward to the 2016 Olympics

Nike to Confiscate Tapes of Tiger's British Open

TheGreenBlazer — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 06:09:21 -0000

Due to Tiger Woods' poor performance at this year's British Open, Nike is attempting to confiscated all tapes containing shots from his rounds in order to save Tiger from any further embarrassment.

Nike is particularly concerned with holes 8-13 on Friday where Woods played the worst six hole stretch of his professional career.

An representative from Nike said, "It's not as bad as getting dunked on by someone attending you own basketball camp, but we can't be too careful with our top athletes nowadays."

It's rare to see a tour professional (much less a two time major champion and former Ryder Cup...

TheGreenBlazer — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 02:55:22 -0000

It's rare to see a tour professional (much less a two time major champion and former Ryder Cup captain) hit a cold top, straight duff, or dead shank, but when they do, you can count on The Green Blazer to capture it. Crenshaw hit his next shot into the water also, ruining an otherwise stellar round of golf.

Vijay Singh's New Putting Grip

TheGreenBlazer — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:33:28 -0000

When it comes to the putting grips of the game's top players, there should be no surprises nowadays. Vijay Singh reinforced that notion at the AT&T National on Thursday by debuting a cross-handed grip on his belly putter with a dash of claw. Don't be surprised if he adds a SuperStroke prototype to the mix next week.

Vijay has made more putting grip changes than perhaps anyone in the game. Now he has decided to combine every grip change he has ever made.

No more no go on negotiating your CC membership

TheGreenBlazer — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 21:44:59 -0000

Are you currently a member at a chincey, semi-private (otherwise known as public) golf course? Have you stopped bothering to call for a time on a weekday afternoon because you are 95 percent sure the course is filled with outing hacks?

If you answered yes to either of these questions, The Green Blazer has got some truth to drop on ya: Private clubs are suffering; now is the time to negotiate yourself a fatty deal! Follow the steps below and you'll never have to see an outing hack in a cutoff t-shirt again:

Which club is struggling the most: A sign is a sign

You should be able to gauge the clubs that are suffering by word of mouth and the level of desperation in the ads. A sign on the the fence that borders the busiest surrounding round is a good indicator. The Golf Club at Cape Cod in Falmouth, MA temporarily waived its $85,000 initiation to attract temporary members. That is not a move on an, "exclusive enclave," as they bill themselves, but would be a sick opportunity to sneak in.

Call the GM and make him aware of your interest

A GM at the brink of losing his job will cream his pants at prospective members contacting him. By calling and giving him your info, he may even contact you, sweetening the deal if you haven't reached out to him in a while.

Express discontent with one or more of the offerings

The club you are targeting likely already has a deal going, but they might be sugar coating it a bit, so ask questions and call them out on anything that sounds fishy. Maybe the club doesn't offer a cart membership, or maybe their minimums are too high. Whatever it is, make your contact at the club aware that hey ... That sucks. Sensing your discontent, the manager will often offer you something extra without you having to ask.

Do's and Don'ts in Negotiating your deal

Many GM's are up creek without a paddle, their job hanging on by a thread. Even so, most will not circumvent the clubs policy on the dues members pay. If you ask them for lower dues and no initiation, you'll likely end of gaining nothing and looking like a chince in the process. Initiation fees, however, can often be amortized over many years, so definitely tell your contact that you will not be able to pay the entire initiation the first year.

Guest Passes Glore

There is no end to the number of guest passes you can conjure out of a softy manager at a desperate club. If their deal offers 3, the minimum you should ask for is 9.

Start paying next year

If it is mid-season and you're ready, you should be able to work out a deal to get the rest of the current year for free. A great rule when negotiating ... If the incentive you are asking for doesn't show up on their books, they will be inclined to acquiesce to your request.

THERE'S NO GAMBLING AT BUSHWOOD!: Many country clubs are gambling away their exclusive reputation by offering screaming deals to new members. Some clubs are hurting so bad they can't even afford stick em' for their members grips.

Stina Stern-minded on Advice

TheGreenBlazer — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 21:34:56 -0000

Columnist detached from range hack mentality

In this month's Golf Digest, Stina Sternberg tells women golfers to "say no to advice," when approached by swing tip dispensing range hack. It seemed she was making a good point until she states that the babbling range hack would only approach women and would never offer advice to any men. People who have spent enough time on a public practice facility know this is not true.

Range hacks, the talkative ones, will give advice to anyone. They will usually gravitate towards the person who seems most accepting of the advice, but will take what they can get when they can get it. If you've been approached by a know-it-all range hack, you can be guaranteed you weren't his first, probably not even his first of the day.

If you are an obvious beginner, the range hack will take charge of the conversation confidently telling you exactly what you're doing wrong and how to fix it. He will give you the latest drill from, ironically, Golf Digest, and may even show you how it's done. The better you are, the more gingerly he will tread. He will try to initiate an open forum discussing a swing topic, surely tell you what Pelz and Butch said on the matter, and rarely demonstrate it himself.

Range hacks just love to talk about golf ... to anyone man or women. It's safe to say Stina is far removed from the chipping green chop mentality, yet most can agree ... That's a good thing.

For more hilarious articles check out: http://thegreenblazer.blogspot.com

Castle Bay Iron Covers - A Hacktastic Hack Classic

TheGreenBlazer — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 17:58:49 -0000

A hack is not complete without a fine set of Castle Bay iron covers. These covers are made of the finest molded rubber, and feature tight squeeze openings to leave you struggling and annoyed all round long. The top of the line covers feature a string to keep you from losing them, but if you do, just dig through the lost and found of any 9 hole muni to get a replacement. Castle Bay offers a wide variety of colors including black, blue, red, and of course ... green.

PERFECT UP-SELL: Attention Salesman: Castle Bay iron covers is are a great addition to any 21 piece RAM set.

Phil Mickelson's looming career in acting

TheGreenBlazer — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 03:06:21 -0000

Phil Mickelson had a role in Sunday's episode of the HBO hit show Entourage, as "freakishly tall golfing partner."

Phil's weight-loss strategy for the role was to simply elongate himself, thereby distributing his weight more evenly throughout his colossal frame. Plus, his agent negotiated for him to only appear alongside actors he was at least 2 feet taller than. Congratulations Phil, after this Entourage appearance you've really developed a certain stature as an actor.