Happy BBQ Day, Bedgers

 

Start time is 6pm, those who have asked have the address.  I won't be home until around 4:30, so if you have questions, please send an email to thetinfoil@gmail.com and i'll check it throughout the day.  If you're in the mood to bring something, salad stuff, desserts, and beer would be the items to bring.  Everything else should be plentiful already. 

 

In other news, Antoine Dodson still hasn't found Homeboy.  I suspect Antoine is joining OJ looking for the killer at every golf course in America.....oh wait, OJ is in prison.  KARMA!

Poll

Which Bedger will really regret their behavior in the morning?

2%

DTL

1 votes

11%

Idol

5 votes

11%

BRP

5 votes

16%

Tinfoil

7 votes

21%

GiantBlazer

9 votes

9%

Dougall

4 votes

4%

Sabonis4Ever

2 votes

21%

Other

9 votes

42 votes | Poll has closed

You've just gone through a terrible tragedy.  Your first few days and weeks are burdened with sorrow, as everything you thought was true about your life is no longer so.  All those years together, all those memories, lost with the inevitability of time.

 

 

But that's not the whole story.

 

Throughout those years of monogamy, the world wasn't waiting around.  The ladies of your neighborhood have been hitting the gym.  Watching, waiting for the day that you would once again be in the prowl.

 

And now, you have an unbeatable pick up line.  

What is it?

via fc05.deviantart.net

Poll

I would totally use sympathy to make the magic happen.

22%

yes

6 votes

11%

no

3 votes

3%

i will explain in the comments

1 votes

62%

mortimer

17 votes

27 votes | Poll has closed

Let's play a silly game.

 

You've been granted the ability to pick your NBA roster from anyone in the world, salaries being irrelevant.

 

HOWEVER, you can only pick 5 starters and 1 sub.  AND, this is the only roster you will have for the next ten years.  If someone gets injured, you have to play all 5 guys for 48 minutes.  Which roster would you pick?

 

Off the top of my head, I'm going with

Evans

Lebron

Durant

D. Howard

Rondo

Sub: Batum

Poll

Who's worse?

55%

David Lynch

11 votes

45%

Darrin Aronofsky

9 votes

20 votes | Poll has closed

Courtesy of www.dontevenreply.com.  Go there to read the rest.

 

Tree Removal Barter Posted at: 2010-01-22 02:20:47 | 162 comments | Add Comment Original ad: 
i need a grille not the cole kind but the gas kind. i will barter my skill as a landscaper in turn for a good grille if u need any kind of landscape work From Me to **************@***********.org:

Hello,

I saw your ad looking for a grill in exchange for your landscaping skills. Do you do tree removal? If so, there is a very expensive grill in it for you.

Thanks,

Mike

From josh ******* to Me:

yes

From me to josh *******:

Great! There is a pine tree that has been bothering me and I want it cut down. You won't have to remove it. It hasn't been a problem until about two years ago when it got much taller. My problem with it is that it is obscuring the view to my neighbor's upstairs bathroom window. I used to have a perfect view of the neighbor's wife changing in the bathroom every day. Now that this damn pine tree is in the way, I can't see a thing.

If you could go onto my neighbor's property and cut the tree down while they are at work, I will let you take the grill that is outside on their patio. I'm not sure what brand it is, but it is a gigantic propane grill. It looks really nice. 

If they ask about it, I will tell them that a huge storm happened while they were at work, and the wind blew the tree over and blew the grill away. Meanwhile you will be enjoying a delicious salisbury steak from your new grill, and I wil be enjoying my neighbor's hot wife as she steps into the shower.

They usually leave for work around 7:30 AM during the week, and come back home around 6:00 PM. If you could have it done before they get back on Monday, that would be great.

Thanks,

Mike

Edit:   Yeah...I don't know about deleting an entire JD that's started so I did you the courtesy of taking a sentence out of there that definitely had words not suitable for polite B.E. conversation instead of nuking the thread.  If you're in doubt (which you should have been in this case) please err on the side of the site rules, even in the Junk Drawer.  --Dave

SBN has created a new feature.  Next to each comment is a small box with an editable field.  Each user can write and save notes that he/she wants to remember about the commenter.  For example:

 

Amimart1   [lies and says he doesn't know English very well]

Sabonis4Ever [puts job over Bedge = FAIL]

 

What would you write for your friends of the JD?

 

For the sake of simplicity, I'll post a few people, and you can comment beneath with your little box.

 

*if this idea bombs, it was Timmay's idea.

Poll

Which Blazer is most likely to join a cult and disappear into the woods?

0%

Roy

0 votes

6%

Aldridge

3 votes

6%

Paul Allen

3 votes

6%

Oden

3 votes

2%

Batum

1 votes

0%

Rudy

0 votes

6%

Outlaw

3 votes

8%

Blake

4 votes

13%

Bayless

6 votes

0%

Mills

0 votes

6%

Grandpa

3 votes

8%

Shav

4 votes

2%

Miller

1 votes

2%

Webster

1 votes

4%

Pendergraph

2 votes

0%

Cunningham

0 votes

2%

one of the coaches

1 votes

4%

Schonely

2 votes

15%

one of the announcers

7 votes

2%

KP

1 votes

45 votes | Poll has closed

Happy Saturday!  I can't believe the NBA cancelled all of last night's games out of the blue like that, shortening the game to an 81 game season.  I got to the Rose Garden and was told the only entertainment of the night was a free concert for the Fish radio station.  Strange.  

In any event, it's secret Saturday.  I don't want your kinky secrets.  I just want to know what your hobbies are that your Bedge-friends probably don't know about.  Is Mortimer secretly into crochet?  Does Roybot have a secret welding fetish?  Is TIH the leader of the "Bring back Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman fan club?"  

When I was little I used to lock my friends in the toy chest just for fun.

via i113.photobucket.com

I don't do it anymore, though.  Nobody fits in that box!

 

These days I occasionally make these things like this (this is Bob's, not mine)

via www.bobross.com

 

And I also throw things like this

via www.innovadiscs.com

What's your secret hobby?

Poll

What kind of bear is best?

17%

Black Bear

8 votes

17%

Grizzly Bear

8 votes

17%

Polar Bear

8 votes

2%

Koala Bear

1 votes

4%

Raccoon

2 votes

23%

Panda Bear

11 votes

19%

the one from the Jungle Book

9 votes

47 votes | Poll has closed

My wife is a speech language pathologist, and one of the ways she gets kids to practice their sounds is with a series of games and toys.  Since some of them are junior high and high school age, she decided to make life-life cut outs of various Blazers, with outfits to mix and match.  We've been practicing with our 2 year old, and she is getting good at "Joel Przybilla needs pants."    Here are some bad photos of the pieces of the game:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

via i168.photobucket.com

via i168.photobucket.com

via i168.photobucket.com

via i168.photobucket.com

So we're taking the little one to the pumpkin patch on Sauvie's Island today.  Gonna rock the corn maze, make her bring home a pumpkin she can carry, etc...  

 

What are your favorite pumpkin or Halloween memories?  I remember one Halloween some friends and I TP'd the Mormon church down the street.  That was fun.  We also used to go to the haunted house at Eastport Plaza before the revitalization of the area.

 

Also, Sam Bradford just got injured again.

Poll

What is the best use for a pumpkin?

53%

Pumpkin Pie

26 votes

6%

Throwing them onto cars

3 votes

10%

Going "American Pumpkin" Jason Biggs style

5 votes

30%

Launching long distances with various contraptions

15 votes

49 votes | Poll has closed

To quote author Jeff Pearlman

"... the night was going very well. Speeches were moderately short, the MC — an excellent Ernie Johnson — kept things rolling, Jordan and his gang made their waves. At approximately 8:20 pm, Doug Collins, also inducted as a media member, offered up an absolutely wonderful speech, crying as he asked his wife and children to stand.

And then, Vecsey took the stage.

He seemed to have no notes. No thoughts. No ... nothing. He began not by expressing his appreciation, but by rattling off all the shunned players he believed belonged in the Hall. From there, he just ... babbled. About this. About that. He seemed to be drunk, but I don't think he was. The man just, well, sucked. He used language one doesn't use in a Hall speech. He called out people's names ('Calvin Murphy! Tiny Archibald!'), and you could literally see the man squirming in their seats. I was sitting about 10 feet from David Stern, who — throughout the ceaseless banter — dismissively shook his head while checking his Blackberry. Jordan, the star of the weekend, walked out. Just left, and never returned.

The best part came, oh, 30 minutes in, when Vecsey took a breather between points. As if on cue, the entire room started to applaud — a very clear, very audible get-the-f^%$-off-the-stage command. Suddenly, music piped in from above — yet another get-the-f^%$-off-the-stage command. Oddly, Vecsey really paid it no mind. He kept talking until, I believe, his mic was turned off (either that, or he got the clue)."

 

The show just started!  Opine here!

The best day of my life was in the summer of 1992.  I was 12, and it was little league season, and I pitched a 1 hit shutout of the vaunted Yankees team.  In 7 innings, I struck out 12, and hit a triple off the fence.  The coach wrote all the stats on the ball and gave it to me.  It's still in a box in my closet.  Most significant days (weddings, births of children) can't really called the greatest because there is so much stress associated with them.  At age 12, nothing is stressful.  I'm pretty sure we finished the day with a team sleepover, and ate Otter Pops until the wee hour of midnight.

The Worst day of my life was my grandpa's funeral.  I wrote this awesome eulogy for him, but I knew I wouldn't be able to read it, so my mom did it for me.  I was all sobbing in the third row, and some distant cousin gave me a kleenex and it smelled like old lady perfume.  Crying uncontrollably into an old lady perfume kleenex.  Bad, bad day.

Poll

What is the best?

54%

Slurpee

29 votes

26%

Icee

14 votes

18%

Cherry Squishy

10 votes

53 votes | Poll has closed

Smart people can spend days and weeks documenting the movings and the shakings of the important Blazer News.  Nerds can crunch stats and discuss PER and talk about per 48, adjuster for pace hockey assist numbers.  But what about junkers?  What can we do?  I'll tell you what.  We can junk.  And junk we have.

 

The JD has reached critical mass this year.  What are your favorite moments and storylines?  I've got a few moments that stick out like Prez at a swingers club:

 

-Prez and Roodie deciding to convert downtown Portland during a midnight Junk

-Roybot and cloudydays.  Duh.

-Multiple fanboys crushing on galacticlove and her blue hair, only to be crushed when she bailed the country.

-He who shall not be named and his unfortunate banishment.

-tominhawaii asking Shav which Blazer has the best "shower presence."  Not a JD, technically, but close enough.

-LTrain's insomnia

-Miles mania hits, and the Junkers are fed up

-tominrehab forces a choice between tominhawaii and dragline

 

 

What junk moments are so junky that you will never forget them?

 

And finally, the Blazers current offseason metaphorically captured in a photo.

 

Poll

Who wins?

64%

Roybot

29 votes

35%

cloudydays

16 votes

45 votes | Poll has closed

Got my fifth anniversary coming up next month.  Past anniversaries have included me going to Sportfight at the Rose Garden, and doing the anniversary thing the night before.  I'm also fairly confident we once spent it camping with no air mattress.  So, this year, I need a game plan.  Something guaranteed to not be terrible.  For conversation's sake, let's assume money isn't an issue, but the plan has to be possible within one day.  i live in Vancouver.  

 

What would you do for the day?  Anyplace in particular you'd take the lady/guy?  

 

If you are without skill in this area, I have a different question for you:

 

If you had to lose one of your sense (sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch), which would you choose?

Link for reference

 

I am an NBA fan.  I am not a college basketball fan.  Why?  Because it sucks.

I do not want to have to learn and develop opinions about 895 different teams.  I don't want to watch 6'1 white kids running around for 40 seconds per possession.  I don't like my tax money paying for coaches who don't win.  I don't like having halves, instead of quarters.  If I wanted soccer, I would watch soccer, and soccer is boring, therefore college basketball is boring.  Q.E.D.

Seriously, each team has maybe one guy who MIGHT make the pros, and even less of a chance to make it on my team.  Why should I care? 

Be honest:  most people only care when the tournament comes around, and then only because they can win the office pool. 

Anybody actually watch regular season games with interest?  Do you ever watch a team that isn't your alma mater? 

The link above is a good one, assuming it works. 

And always remember:  A stated opinion is a fact, and any disagreement is wrong because the other person is rooting for the terrorists to win.  I learned that on Fox News.

 

(maybe next time someone will write a worthwhile junk drawer before 11:15!)

Here's the link to the Blazers web site regarding donations for Nathan's accident.  The basic facts are Nathan has Down's Syndrome, got separated from his supervisors, and tried to cross I-5, presumably on foot, and was hit by one or more vehicles.

Kudos to the organization for helping.  Please post updates if you hear any.  Since this may be the only time I have work-related knowledge of something relevant to the Blazers, here's some info I posted in the game thread way way after the game ended.

In Oregon, if a person is hit as a pedestrian and does not have insurance, they can claim the medical benefits available to the driver of the vehicle that hit them. It's called "no-fault medical," meaning insurance will pay even if the policy holder did nothing wrong.  Since no-fault medical is mandatory for auto policies in Oregon (meaning if you have auto insurance, you have medical coverage on the policy), the minimum amount available to him would be $15k, and could be up to $100k depending on how much insurance the vehicle (or vehicles) had. In addition, for medical providers in Oregon, there is a cap on each charge that is legally allowed for each service (much like your health insurance is allowed to "cut" the bill due to a pre-arranged agreement with the provider, except this is state mandated, and only applies to workers comp and auto claims). So, his bills will likely be reduced by the Oregon fee schedule when the car insurance pays the bill, and the provider would not legally be allowed to balance bill the kid. That, in addition to the donated money, should help out a lot. If he was hit by two vehicles, he would have two different policy limits available to him, even if neither of the drivers did anything wrong.

I hope that makes everyone feel a little bit better. I worked in auto-medical claims for a few years recently before switching to 3rd party claims, and Oregon has the 2nd best medical coverage in the country for autos (Michigan has no limit on their medical coverage, and no time limit for how long they will pay.  Oregon's medical statute is one year).

All this is assuming that the cars that hit him have insurance. Fingers crossed!

 

 

Word up Bedge Nation.  My past Junk efforts of The Office and The Big Lebowski were fun, but were exclusive to those in the know.  Today's edition is all inclusive, even Timbo is invited.

What is your favorite YouTube clip?  Doesn't even need to be sports related.  Post the link and let us enjoy the things you find to be awesome.  

For instance, the worst travel of all time.

How about Marilyn Manson's cover of Jesus Is My Friend?

If you've never seen the Battle at Kruger, you are missing out.

Here's the Katt Williams Club Dance  (rated R)

 

Whatcha got?

Beat the Hornets, can't sleep, watching the Superbowl episode of the Office again.  Today's theme is "what's your favorite moment from 'The Office'" or, what's a cool story from your own office?  I'll start with a few from the Superbowl episode.

"Stanley, you crush your wife during sex, and your heart sucks.  Boom. Roasted."

 

"Dwight, you gave Stanley a heart attack."

"Oh sure, I forced him to eat sugar and butter for 50 years, and not exercise."

 

And finally, a link to the greatest office prank ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27IOmm7zlCw

Poll

Which version of "The Office" is better?

10%

The British Version

12 votes

25%

The American Version

28 votes

11%

I haven't seen the British version, so I can't judge.

13 votes

5%

There is no correct answer to this question

6 votes

47%

Jerryd Bayless

53 votes

112 votes | Poll has closed

It's noon, and no junk is to be found, so I will dedicate today's junk to the least junkiest movie of all time, the Coen Brothers' The Big Lebowski.  While this movie looks like it was filmed in the 80s, was actually filmed in the 90s, it still rings true like it was brand new.  Who can forget such awesome moments as The Dude writing a check for $.69 so he can buy some milk

via lebowskibash.com

Or how about Tara Reid when she was hot?

via images.allmoviephoto.com

 

Or how about poor Smoky when he was "over the line"

via img90.imageshack.us

 

 

What's your favorite moment or scene?  How does this work of art relate to our beloved Blazers?

I'll start with one of my favorite lines:

"You want a toe?  I get can you a toe.  I can get you a toe by three a clock, with nail polish.  I can get you a toe dude, you don't wanna know how, but I can get you a toe."

 

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpqDv4z__Pw

 

My 1 year old is awesome.  And by awesome, I mean she can rattle off her Blazers, AND hate on Kobe at the same time!  Last night we were running the video, and she yelled out "BLAZERS!" so we decided to go down the roster.  I don't know why she was hatin' on Aldridge (she was distracted by the Charlotte's Web DVD).  Apologies to those players not mentioned...

 

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Video-Anonymous-fan-and-whistle-help-Jazz-hold-?urn=nba,133110

 

In light of our recent 6-men-on-the-floor incident, I thought this was funny.  Basically, during a play, an anonymous fan blows a loud whistle from the crowd.  Most of the players stop playing, leading to an easy basket for Kyle Korver.  The refs let the basket stand.  Discuss.

 

*Inserting more words to meet minimum word requirement*