Pathetic. Vent here if you have the energy.

Sometimes, I really hate football.

Matt Schaub is like Lazarus. Unfortunately, the Texans secondary is still the Texans secondary.

Quarterbacks are overrated.

Texans vs Jaguars coverage

Surely your Houston Texans will not lose four (4) consecutive games to AFC South teams, will they? If the Texans don't defeat the Jaguars today, the calls for change are going to be unbearable. Here's hoping the Texans manage to quiet the critics, even for a brief period of time, today in Jacksonville.

As always, leave your pre-game, in-game, and post-game hosannas and lamentations in the Comments below. GO TEXANS!

I'm going to get this post up as quickly as I can, lest another Texan be ruled out for Sunday's tilt against the Jaguars and render my rock-solid (read: baby soft) predictions moot. To wit:

1. Your Houston Texans couldn't manage a single sack in their first meeting with the Jags. This time, the Texans shall notch three (3) sacks of David Garrard. One for Mario Williams, one for Antonio Smith, and one for Connor Barwin.

2. No Rashean Mathis means a big day for Andre Johnson. I foresee 132 yards receiving and a TD for 'Dre. Bonus prediction: James Casey scores his first NFL touchdown.

3. Chris Brown manages a rushing touchdown. Without fumbling the game ball away. He also finishes with 73 rushing yards, on 16 carries, on the afternoon.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: As I told the guys on Big Cat Country Radio, I'm predicting a Texans win, based almost entirely on the notion that the Texans are going to go on a run over the next four weeks, in order to suck us all back in to believing in them before laying a monstrous egg against New England in Week 17. Crushing disappointment is our destiny. It's coming, but not this week. Texans 34, Jaguars 28.

Per Yahoo Sports (tip o' the cap to TexansDC):

Houston Texans rookie cornerback Glover Quin will miss this weekend’s game against Jacksonville with what he calls concussion symptoms.

Quin, who has started eight games this season, says he isn’t sure if he had a concussion and if he did it was a mild one. Still, the Texans chose to sit him after he had headaches earlier this week.

Well, at least the Houston secondary is deep and stout en...sorry. I couldn't get through typing that last sentence without spewing bile. Now my keyboard's a mess.

Stay tuned for the next post, where DeMeco Ryans contracts smallpox and misses the rest of the season.

Per Dale Robertson:

Texans running back Steve Slaton is expected to miss Sunday's game against Jacksonville because of numbness in his arms.

The numbness is a result of a previously undisclosed shoulder injury. Coach Gary Kubiak did not completely rule out Slaton, but the fact he did not practice Friday makes it unlikely he will play.

"It's something he has been dealing with for awhile but it's gotten worse in the last 24 hours," Kubiak said.

"Previously undisclosed shoulder injury?" Zuh?

A year ago, this would have been cause for total panic. As 2009 Steve Slaton has yet to resemble 2008 Steve Slaton, however, I don't expect Slaton's absence to have much of an effect on the Houston running game. It was anemic for the first 11 games of the season, and it'll be anemic in the twelfth game of the season. Looks like Chris Brown is now your primary running back and Ryan Moats may actually get to step onto the field.

Brought to you by Comcast's Red Zone Channel, a quick look at how your Houston Texans fared in the red zone last Sunday in the latest loss to the Colts:

Trips to Red Zone: 5
Scores in Red Zone: 5 (TD by Vonta Leach, TD by Chris Brown, 2 FGs by Kris Brown, TD by Jacoby Jones)
Red Zone Efficiency: 100%

The good news is that there doesn't seem to be much of a problem producing in the red zone. The bad news is that the Texans are allergic to the red zone after halftime.