SB Nation User Blog: Top Gun Numba 1

Breaking News: Jon Heyman thinks Redsox will beat Rays

Top Gun Numba 1 — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 13:03:12 -0000

Errr.... I mean the Phillies will...

Quoth: "Why the Philllies will win: The magical ride finally comes to an end. The Rays' season is one of the most surprising ever, and their future appears bright. But the Phillies know how to win the close one, and it doesn't hurt they have the closer (Brad Lidge) Tampa lacks.

Replace "Phillies" with Boston, and "Brad Lidge" with Jonathan Papelbon and this is his Rays v Redsox Preview.

Also Verducci:

Why the Phillies will win: Should be an entertaining series with home runs and lead changes. The Phils bring more offensive firepower and a better bullpen than the Red Sox against the amazing Rays.

The best one is from "Michael Bamberger":

Why the Phillies will win: The DH favors the Rays, but the Phillies are better at making adjustments. If the expected pitching matchups hold, I can see Philadelphia winning all the odd-numbered games.

Hell yeah, Garza is gonna get destroyed by Jamie Moyer.

Lil Wayne on the MLB (Who does he pick?)

Top Gun Numba 1 — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 00:20:58 -0000

LIL WAYNE ON MLB

The Red Sox start the playoffs this week, and my thoughts are up in the air about them because, honestly, their chances are up in the air. I'm so grateful they made the post-season, but I'm kind of not sure about them. You know how you can envision a team in the World Series? I don't see them. I close my eyes and I see the Tampa Bay Rays. I'm a big emotion guy. I'm a heart guy, and I think they all play that way. They have nothing to compare this to. Whether they make it to the World Series or not, we're watching the first winning baseball team Tampa Bay has ever fielded. That right there is always amazing, no matter who the team is. I am actually trying to go down there to catch two games at the end of the week if I can. Maybe sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" or throw out the first pitch. You never know. You know they need somebody to throw the first pitch. That would be my first major league game. My dream is still to catch one at Fenway, of course.

I'm really looking forward to seeing Man-Ram this week against the Cubs. You can't put nothing past Manny's bat. You cannot beat him. Also, you can't put nothing past the manager, Joe Torre. Both the Cubs and Dodgers are in significant positions. Like, if the Cubs win, you already know they're going to the World Series. And if the Dodgers win it's a crazy story because of their new skipper and Man-Ram and everything. I've been thinking about this and I used to see the Cubs winning the World Series a few weeks ago, but now I see the Dodgers knocking them out. Why? Steve Bartman. (I'm kidding.)

But you know, everything the Rays have going for them the Cubs have going against them. They've got the weight of losing for 100 years on their shoulders. I mean, I always say athletes are professionals, and those Cub players will be able to physically perform under that kind of pressure But mentally? That's where it gets crazy. Because if one thing happens, one close call doesn't go their way, you're gonna see the fans are gonna get nervous. There's gonna be tension at Wrigley, and the players are gonna feel that, and the analysts are gonna jump on the first miscue, and it's a whole cycle where everyone is just waiting for a collapse. Because even though it's supposed to be the Cubs' year, the real story is how they haven't done it in 100 years, right? And so everyone will be thinking in the back of their heads that something bad is going to happen.

And look at Manny. He's the best hitter in the National League right now. The guy has hit like, 20 home runs since the beginning of August. That's crazy. And more dangerous than that is he's all motivated now. When I saw his braids all chopped up, that's when I knew. That's when I knew he was not only going to be this amazing player for the Dodgers, but that he was going to do in that locker room what he needed to do. He's showing he's playing by the rules. He's running out grounders faster than anybody's ever seen, stealing bases and everything. Being a Red Sox fan, it was always like we can accept his antics off the field because of what he does on it. Now he doesn't have any more antics, he's doing everything he's supposed to do, and oh my God, we've got an American Idol.

Ragging on the Trop part 913

Top Gun Numba 1 — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 14:56:24 -0000

At least this time it's pretty funny, and it has a happy ending

Carl Crawford, code named "CC," presumably to hide his true identify, is shown here as "Streak," with the ability of super speed.

James Shields, code named "Shieldsy," presumably to make him think his true identity was well hidden, is "Hypnotic." I have no idea what a superhero named Hypnotic could possibly be able to do!

Akinori Iwamura, code named "Aki," because people can pronounce that, is "Shadow," with the ability to karate because Japan!

Rocco Baldelli, code named "Rocco," is "Stretch." One would assume a superhero named Stretch would have a Mr. Fantastic-like ability to extend his limbs and snag flies, but really they just call Rocco "Stretch" because that's what they use to carry him around every time he gets hurt.

Scott Kazmir, code namd "Kaz," is "Ace," with the ability of throwing flaming baseballs! I guess he is the only pitcher who knows how to throw a fastball. Sorry, rest of the team! Looks like we ran out of powers!

This sounds a lot like someone we know

Top Gun Numba 1 — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 21:54:35 -0000

Posnanski writes a long love note to Carlos Beltran, and his is found in the midst of it:

Beltran from his first day played baseball with an ease that struck people in different ways. He always looked bored but pleased, the way people look when laying out on a beach. Many thought Beltran just wasn’t giving his all … and he gave those people fuel as a young man when he would forget how many outs there were or he would look disinterested as he jogged down a double in the gap. But mostly, I think, the ease was just grace.

I dunno, sounds a bit like someone we see on a regular basis.

Drug Dealer Disappointed Josh Hamilton Didn't Reach Full Potential As Heroin Addict

Top Gun Numba 1 — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 20:37:04 -0000

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/drug_dealer_disappointed

I guess I'll just reprint the whole text here and hope that reaches 75 words.

Enjroux,

ORLANDO—Benjamin "Dry Bones" Gray, a drug dealer and former supplier to Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton, expressed bitter disappointment over the centerfielder's all-too-brief career as a heroin addict. "I've never seen anyone like Josh. He was a natural," said Gray, who helped Hamilton hone his drug-abusing talents during a stop with the minor league Orlando Rays. "He did all the little things you just can't teach—injecting between his toes, nodding off wherever, selling all his stuff for money to buy more heroin...The man had everything you need to inject heroin into his body, not to mention crack cocaine. That was the beauty of Josh Hamilton: He could do it all." Asked to describe Hamilton's addiction skill set against the all-time greats, Gray said Hamilton could have been "the next William S. Burroughs."

HEATER POST OF THE MILLENIUM

Top Gun Numba 1 — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 02:56:43 -0000

Since there is no "reply" function on The Heater, this quote is presented in glorious Context-Free-Vision

Thanks for an easy going fun to watch sweep of the O's. Please do the same to the Yanks, put them down hard and rough. Shove it up there and never pull it out.

Posted by: Tone | September 01, 2008 at 02:49 PM

NO ONE READS FANSHOTS

Gay Porn, an appreciation.

Top Gun Numba 1 — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 22:17:59 -0000

Gay Porn, an appreciation.

No one reads fan shots.

Baseball Prospectus Night Question

Top Gun Numba 1 — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 16:42:13 -0000

If you have a regular ticket to the Thursday game can you go to the BP thing? Do you have to buy a special ticket to get in to the BP thing? I need to stretch this out to 75 words. Nobody reads "fanshots" Nobody reads "fanshots" Nobody reads "fanshots"

Nobody reads "fanshots"

Are the Rays trying to get Raul Ibanez?

Top Gun Numba 1 — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:18:39 -0000

Big Ken Rosenthal is reporting Washburn and Ibanez have been claimed.

SPECULATE AWAY BIG KEN:

If the Mariners were looking for another chance to trade left-hander Jarrod Washburn and outfielder Raul Ibanez, this is it.

Both Washburn and Ibanez were claimed on waivers Tuesday, according to major-league sources.

The claiming teams are not yet known, but Mariners have until 1:30 p.m. ET Thursday to work out a deal with those respective clubs.

The Yankees were not the team that claimed Washburn, sources say. They had interest in the pitcher before the July 31 non-waiver deadline, but consider their hitting to be a greater problem than their starting pitching. The White Sox, another team in need of starting pitching, have indicated that they do not consider Washburn a fit.

As for Ibanez, the Rays are looking for a hitter after losing both left fielder Carl Crawford and third baseman Evan Longoria to injuries, but the extent of their interest in Ibanez is not known.

What's confusing Gary Shelton?

Top Gun Numba 1 — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 14:46:33 -0000

Photoshop Contest Time!

Make this image sing: http://blogs.tampabay.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/08/01/gary_shelton.jpg

Things I would like to see the map replaced by:

-Moneyball

-Baseball Between the Numbers

-The Kansas City Star

-I Know Why the Cage Bird Sings

Also it would probably make for a good caption contest.

My (admittedly weak) entry:

"Dangit, which way to the human interest story?"

Obviously weight jokes are going to come up quickly, but I think we can be cleverer than that.