SB Nation User Blog: Top Gun Numba 1

The African American Intelligencia Loves the Rays

Top Gun Numba 1 — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:29:35 -0000

...probably.

From an article on The Root about Manny returning

In the American League East, the usual suspects—the Red Sox and the New York Yankees—are dueling at the top with the Tampa Bay Rays and Toronto Blue Jays a few games back. All four teams have suffered through significant injuries and surprising bouts of ineffectiveness. Of the four contenders, the Rays have the best run differential, so barring further injuries or slick trades by the other teams, Tampa Bay should win this division, and the Yankees and Red Sox will battle for the wild card.

I'm not saying the logic is unassailable, but it's nice to see none-the-less.

As a bonus this article spends a lot of time talking shit about the NL, which I whole-heartedly support.

Fight Fight Fight!

Top Gun Numba 1 — Sat, 30 May 2009 06:04:12 -0000

Allow me to present to you, a dramatization of Gary Shelton and "The Point After" Commenter "Ray" having words:

Groovy Time for a Movie Time!

Words:

Jose, at what point did getting into the ring with a 7-2, 330 mixed martial artist seem like a good idea?

Pretty much, we can all agree on two things about Canseco. One,there was a lot of truth to what he said about ballplayers and steroids in his book. Two, he can't fight a lick.

How about him fighting Gary Shelton? At least he had the courage to step in the ring. That's something for sure Gary doesn't have. Hey Gary, Mr. Canseco is free to do whatever he likes to do. Why should that be of my business or yours?

Posted by: Ray | Wednesday, May 27, 2009 at 12:27 PM

Okay, Ray. Let me explain this slowly.

I write opinions on sports. This is a blog where I do so. Jose Canseco is a sports figure. With me so far? That's why it's my business.

As far as getting into the ring, I'm flattered you would shell out the pay-per-view money.

But again, the point of the post is to say that it's silly to get hit in the face for money.

Thanks for your input, though.

Posted by: Gary Shelton | Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 03:34 PM

God I love funnel cake

Posted by: Gary Shelton (probably)

The Point After - Didn't Know They Were Up This Late Edition

Top Gun Numba 1 — Tue, 26 May 2009 04:49:07 -0000

See if you can guess which of these was written before the game, and which after.

David Price's apprenticeship has ended, and he joins the Rays rotation as the most talked-about pitcher in franchise history.

David Price is a nice replacement, but it's risky business to count on a rookie as a savior. How much trouble are they in?

And to get us to 75 words we have a HILARIOUS ROCKY JOKE from my man G-Shelt

How much trouble is there? If this was a one of those 83 Rocky sequels, you would say this sets up the comeback quite nicely. In real life, however, it looks ugly.

New 'Nando Blog Post

Top Gun Numba 1 — Mon, 25 May 2009 17:32:16 -0000

Bask in my man's erudition by clicking this here blue text.

When a player uses the same song over a long period of time, the song disappears to the player (which is likely advantageous) and really becomes property of the fans. When Evan Longoria comes up in a big spot and the first few seconds of “Down and Out” by Tantric plays, it cues the crowd to follow in a chorus of excitement and irrational expectations that thrillingly thwart out the announcing of his name. As Evan came up to the plate with the bases loaded against the Red Sox on May 1, this all became so clear. While the staff and most of the players play it cool, you may catch any one of us on the bench rolling our neck into position to play air violin along with the riff.

The Point After for 5.12.09

Top Gun Numba 1 — Wed, 13 May 2009 03:53:05 -0000

The Rays are struggling a little bit. The Magic are blowing a winnable series. Bad times right now. So to lift everyone's spirits, here are some selections from a little blog called "The Point After" (Tampa Bay Dot Com, Check it out!)

To begin here, the blog is described thusly:

It ain't easy annoying an entire market of sports fans one newspaper at a time. So, to expedite the process, Times columnists Gary Shelton and John Romano are bringing cranky to the web site. They'll dance, they'll sing. John may even scratch himself. And, this time, they're inviting you to take part in the debate.

Yes, this blog is the viking funeral for Newspaper Sportswriting.

Hmm, I wonder what kind of topic "cranky" sportswriters would like to delve into. Steroids perhaps?

Well, of course. Gary? Take it away:

If you took all the junk that athletes have used over the years, would you have to be on steroids to lift it? For crying out loud, how much of the cheater juice is out there? Rivers? Oceans? More than all the bottles of water in the country?

Ahahahahaha, good one! Take that bottled water drinkers!

You know who's hot with the kids on the internet these days? The Boston Sports Guy, Bill Simmons. Lets see Gary attempt to capture that same style of irreverent pop culture references:

Throw in the human growth hormone, and all the drugs used to mask it from detection, and even Willie Nelson would be impressed.

Willie Nelson! Relevant 30 years ago!!!! HE DID DRUGS! GET IT!?!??! OLD PEOPLE!!!!

Manny got popped for a fertility drug, seems ripe for comedy...

By now, of course, you have heard that Manny Ramirez has tested positive for a female fertility drug -- just Manny being tranny -- that is commonly used to restart testosterone production after a steroid cycle.

YES! /high-fives air-firn that is my only companion in here in Mom's basement.

The ~~column~~ BLOG POST then quickly devolves into the always fresh realm of Hall of Fame worthiness.

That's an awful lot of guys not allowed in the Hall. Throw in Pete Rose and the Black Sox, and you're getting close to a pretty good roster. And remember, we have no idea how many players used -- and how many didn't.

Just a reminder, Gary has a BBWAA Badge. He can do something about this.

I'm getting pretty bored with this (I'd imagine you'd feel the same way if you were actually still reading at this point), so I need you to take us home G. Shel (we homies):

Here's a solution. How about a Hall of Shame wing out back of the Hall of Fame? It would be for players whose scandals have kept them out of the main wing. You could have betting slips and syringes and t-shirts with Jose Canseco's face.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HALL OF SHAME. LMBO!! LMAO!!!! LMUO (laugh my uterus out)!!!!!!!! BRILLIANT GARY, YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN!!!!!!!

Heater Allstars for 5.5.09

Top Gun Numba 1 — Wed, 06 May 2009 01:16:50 -0000

Inspired by the incredible amount of retarded drivel posted on this site recently, I think a look at professional level retarded drivel is in order. Because I have too much time on my hands, and the Cavs game seems uncompetative behold: Heater Allstars! (Tampabay.com, Check it out!)

Joe Maddon's fax machine is broken, The only way Edgar Rivera can send in the real lineup is through The Heater!

WHAT!!!! Are you kidding me? This lineup. OMG! Why is Upton in the lineup leading off and why Navarro is catching Garza? Isn't usually Hernandez? Maddon such an idiot. Why is Kapler having at bat; play Ben Zobrist everyday and stop the nonsense. Kazmir's problem is mental. Hickey should take some responsibilty for this pitching staff and Henderson doesn't get a pass either. This rotation has Atlanta Braves talent but AAA coaching staff.

here is the REAL lineup Maddon
Barlett SS
Crawford LF
Longoria 3B
Pena 1B
Burrell DH
Zobrist RF
Iwamura 2B
Upton CF
Navarro C

I really feel like JOEMADDONSUCKS.com has a few really good anti-stat rants in him.

At the rate Carl is going, he could do it. However winning is more important than steals, they are only valuable if they help to score runs and win, not if they are just a stat.

Posted by: JOEMADDONSUCKS.com | May 05, 2009 at 09:14 PM

Posted by: Edgar Rivera | May 05, 2009 at 02:13 PM

Totally agree, Eaton SHOULD be touch for 8 runs and manage 4! Also, Wicked fat joke Edgar!

Back to this lifeless baseball. Just what I expected. Pumped up when they play the Red Sox and play dead against the FREAKIN Orioles. This is totally unacceptable. Navarro needs a timeout for a while and drop Upton from the lineup ASAP until he gets his groove back. Need John Jaso called up from AAA/need Riggans back. He can't be any worse than tubby who is playing for the Rays. Adam Eaton should be touch for 8 runs and manage 4. Disgusting.

Posted by: Edgar Rivera | May 04, 2009 at 09:38 PM

tbird! My Man! Bringing back the Upton is lazy argument. YOU RULE! Also, it seems to be the consensus that the only time when Maddon was a BAD manager was the post season. But w/e I'm not here for analysis.

Agree 100% with the other two posts. Upton has had one commendable period since coming to the bigs--last year's post season when he was light's out. He has had a pathetic offensive career other than that period. If you note, when hitting grounders directly at the defense, he is reverting back to simply running to first, no apparent hustle and when the season first started, he was laying down bunts but has stopped. Why this guy is sent out there every freakin day is confusing to many, even die-hard Upton fans. How much longer can Longo/Pena carry this team by driving in all the runs?? not long..

Posted by: tbird | May 04, 2009 at 11:43 PM

I doubt that it would make you puke Cindi. I do wonder what would though...

Agree with all of the comments regarding BJ and Navi. BJ is still rehabbing as far as I am concerned and should bat lower. Navi just plain stinks and needs to sit down for a while and think about how he played last year and try to remember! If I hear someone say Kaz mechanics are just about there one more time I am going to puke. Look at all the really good pitchers they threw the ball the same everytime; they may have had a bad game with location and get hit but their mechanics stayed the same. I am talking about guys like Maddox, Glavine, Smoltz (since we were comparing this group to the Braves last year); maybe the pitching coach needs to be evaluated. He obviously isn't seeing something or is trying to overthink things (which is part of Kaz problems, he was much better when he just got up there and threw, you can see him talking to himself now and trying to over think everything just pitch the ball). Leo Mazzone must have done something right with the pitchers he had in Atlanta, maybe Hickey should read his book.
These guys really are frustrating to watch, World Beaters one minute and Little League the next. I am afraid we are letting this season get away from us. Give us fire every night!!

Posted by: Cindi | May 05, 2009 at 05:56 AM

Thanks tbird! I was just wondering what would really make Cindi puke! Also, I agree with you about Maddon. He doesn't trash the team nearly enough.

Cindi--if you want to puke, just read todays St.Pete Times and you'll see the typical "I'm not comfortable' just don't feel right; haven't been right, flailing out there; yadayadayada and then our "RoseColoredGlasses Joe" more or lss repeats the same and "I like what I see, I like what I saw, we really played well, he's coming around now" yadayada...These comments are fine for Little League or JV ball but these guys have been in the majors for how long and still "Haven't got it right just yet"...When a student has trouble, they get tutoring, when someone can't get their head or thoughts straight, they need to or should, get help from a professional..Wonder what Henderson says to BJ or Navi or what Hickey has done to aid Kazmir..I gotta believe Hickey can't help Kazmir and the people who can are a sports shrink or himself and the sooner the better, for himself and this team.

Posted by: tbird | May 05, 2009 at 12:44 PM

And lastly, those of you with sharp eyes may have caught my post over at The Heater. If you missed it, here you go:

Evan is very loyal to his team... hes not in it JUST for the money ya kno... he cares about what hes doin & if yoo geta chance to play the sport tht yoo love dearly & get a great salary thts great.... i dont blame him for bein mad at tht guy, Evan had it and like yoo said tht guy wasn in his rite seat and he was caught up in the moment ( it was funny bc he was wearin a longoria jersey)... but Evan made up for it by goin to the guy & doin wht he had to do... Evan has a hel* of a lot more in life for him than worry about what so stupid "fan" cares about... baseball is wht he loves and if your a fan & love Evan jus as much as me, yoo respect him for his descions. Evan's not playin teeball.. he is a mlb player! hes life is great. anybody wood be happy for him if there a fan. i kno i am & he knos tht i am... jus let him play HIS game bc hes a dam* sure betr player than what yoo will be so jus get off his back about it... Evans smart & one of the best evr i mean look @ what hes accomplished in the past years & even now.. show resepect & dont hate the player hate the game.....

Posted by: sierra smith#3 | May 05, 2009 at 10:17 AM

/!\ RJ Anderson Secret Identity Found /!\

Top Gun Numba 1 — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:10:59 -0000

Johnny Comeback!

From deep within his grandmother's basement, Johnny Comeback takes a break from his spreadsheets and slide rule to answer your toughest Rays and baseball-related questions. Johnny will choose a few of the toughest and publish his answers in the next issue of Inside Pitch -- the official gameday publication of the Tampa Bay Rays, available for free to all fans attending Rays games at Tropicana Field.

https://secure.mlb.com/tb/fan_forum/comeback_form.jsp

Made by Sylar. Way too good to be GDT only

Top Gun Numba 1 — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 02:43:55 -0000

Made by Sylar.

Way too good to be GDT only

DRaysBay mention on BP

Top Gun Numba 1 — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 16:51:16 -0000

Shawn Hoffman once again banging the drum for MLBAM to loosen its grip on content.

(Subscription Only)

This one will take even more convincing. If embedding press conferences and highlight videos makes the suits nervous, you can imagine what kind of response syndicating actual games would receive. It actually makes almost too much sense, though, because to watch MLB.tv, you'll need to subscribe to the service, regardless of whether it's on MLB.com, nytimes.com, or freecreditreport.com. So MLB should be doing whatever it can to increase its distribution, just like HBO does on cable. Why not let DRaysBay "broadcast" Rays games, if it will draw more attention to the product?

Remember when the Rays were only about weiner jokes?

Top Gun Numba 1 — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 01:53:34 -0000

http://deadspin.com/5171110/carter-gaddis-new-blog-is-off-to-a-rousing-start

Dewon Brazelton tried to pull the same prank, but he squirted the mustard in his eye, ruining his depth perception forever.

It's pretty cool that Carter Gaddis is bloggin' though...

...or was, it looks like the blog has been taken down. I'm guessing Gaddis' bosses told him to take it down.

Either way, this is a fun look back at the days of the carnival side-show Devil Rays.