Section 213, row 10, seat 7. NFL Ticket Exchange has one in that section for $166, StubHub has one in that section for $133. I’m offering it for $110 (coincidentally, the same amount of my cable bill). Send me an e-mail at jlharris1-at-gmail.com. This might be your chance to see another 44-6 live and in person. Trent Cole is facing a struggling Doug Free. Someday, you might be able to tell your grandchildren that you witnessed the Tony Romo crying under a bench and refusing to take the field with your very own eyes. Cash only. I know better than to accept a check from you miscreants.

This team needs OL help. There is a highly regarded OL prospect just sitting around twiddling his thumbs. It's time to sign Tony Washington. Yes, I know what he did, but the sex was consensual and if they survived signing Vick, they can survive this. And, hey, has anybody seen his sister? Maybe she was stupid hot. I mean, why go out for hot dogs when you've got Steak-Ums at home, right? He was just being environmentally sensitive. Think globally, date family.

Washington's biggest crime is that he's a bit creepy and being creepy isn't a crime. Trent Cole lives in a house filled with animal corpses and he's one of the most popular guys on the team. Kevin Kolb grew up a Cowboy fan. Stewart Bradly built a scale model of the Palace at Versailles and dresses his cat like Louie XIV. Jeremy Maclin has a scab collection. Surely, a city progressive enough to have a section billed as the Gayborhood can handle a bit of sister-diddling. More to the point, the Chiefs -- a team that could finish third in the AFC West and lead by a guy who couldn't even make the Eagles' roster last year -- beat the stuffing out of Kolb last night and I'm willing to overlook A LOT if it keeps the quarterback from breathing through his ear.

C'mon, Andy. Hook him up with Tony Dungy, the Archbishop of the NFL, claim you want to save his soul and teach him how to pick up a blitzing linebacker. Just, you know, make sure he's not leaving tickets at Will Call for his sister.