More photos » by John Raoux - AP

It's Orlando's turn to take a beating

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The Parallel Purple People Eaters head down to the Magic Kingdom to do some Darlin' stomping tonight. Meanwhile, the Cavs look to take a 3-0 lead in the Real Finals.*

On a more serious note, it looks like Orlando's luck has finally run out. After being utterly dominated in Game 1, the small things stopped going their way in Game 2 and they managed to lose to a Lakers team that looked like they hardly wanted to play. It's likely they can take at least one game in Orlando, but is there anyone on the planet at this point that thinks Cleveland/LA wouldn't have been a better Finals matchup? I'm not saying we'd have won, but the Magic are starting to look like they played about their heads to get here.

*On a super sad note, I actually planned a long weekend trip to Cleveland this weekend in anticipation of at least catching a Finals game. I may not be too active on here starting tomorrow, but suffice it to say I'll have more time on my hands, sadly

Is it November yet?

More photos » by Mark J. Terrill - AP

I have no idea what's going on here, but it looks creepy

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Apologies for the late Game Thread... if anyone's interested anyway.

Anyway, Parallel LA leads the series 1-0 after a dominant performance in Game 1. Will the Darlings even things up, or continue to prove they were just on a a ridiculous hot streak against the Cavs and have now reverted to what everyone knew they were?

Meanwhile, the Cavs lead the real Finals 1-0 and look to take down a Lakers team sans Kobe after his double technical in Game 1.

More photos » by Scott Audette - AP

Bizarro looks to fly high in Parallel LA -- a city noted for its down-to-Earth, blue-collar residents

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Superman and Other Turk look to cook The Beef and Paul Gaso (I borrowed the "L" from his last name) in some strange facsimile of the real NBA Finals. Discussion welcome.

Oh, and if anyone knows where I can find a broadcast of the real game, send me a discreet e-mail...

More photos » by Jack Dempsey - AP

In the parallel universe, Beef tastes like chicken

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As we're all aware by now, the Horsemen of the Basketball Apocalypse overcame near impossible odds and dispatched Orlando's Disney Darlings in an epic Game 7 showdown this past Monday. LeBron James was in full Kerosene mode, dropping 50/13/12 while Bizarro Howard fouled out with ten minutes to go in the third quarter. The NBA Finals are scheduled to start tomorrow night at the Q, with our Cavs firing on all cylinders and looking to take down the Purple People Eaters of LA.

Problem is, no one seems to be covering the Finals this year.

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More photos » by Phelan M. Ebenhack - AP

Enjoy it while it lasts, Darlings. The Horsemen will ride again.

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I want to apologize for posting so late. I didn't want to write anything about last night's loss. I thought that if I slept just a little longer, put it off for a few more hours, I could pretend I don't have to wait until next April to see our Horsemen riding into the playoffs again. The crushing finality of it all will set in when I hit "publish," and I didn't think I could bear it. Over the course of these playoffs, however, nothing has been more cathartic than bleeding out my emotions onto these internet pages, so I hope you'll all bear with me for a bit.

Last night, we watched our team -- the best Cavaliers team in franchise history, a team that set record after record and swaggered into the playoffs armed with the league MVP and greatest player on the planet -- get demolished by an upstart Orlando team. It doesn't make sense. Everything seemed to be going our way. Chemistry had never been better, we had seemingly found the perfect compliment to LeBron, half-court buzzer-beaters were dropping in our favor on what felt like a regular basis. This wasn't 2007, when we were just astounded and happy to be there in the Finals. This was our year, and we wouldn't settle for anything less than a title.

But some happened. We failed. We lost. The more time that passes and the more I think things over, however, one ultimate truth keeps floating to the top of my tumultuous sea of thoughts:

We got this.

And I've never been more sure of anything in my life.

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More photos » by Tony Dejak - AP

If Kerosene and flames can do *that* to Superman, imagine what it can do to Beef.

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Before I get into my spiel, I just need to get something off my chest:

I told you so. All of you. We got this.

Now that that's out of the way, let's take a look at the Horsemen's glorious victory. Last night saw the fruition of a plan we've been executing well the past few games to unexpectedly poor results. No matter how much you'll hear about LeBron having been the only factor in this game, the truth is that what we've been doing all series long finally started working. We drove, kicked, shot, finished and swarmed on defense. We even pushed "Superman" to foul out of the game with more than two minutes to play. Though the Darlings again deleted a seemingly insurmountable lead, the Horsemen never backed down; we fought back until we emerged the clear victors.

How? Because we finally decided to fight fire with fire. Fortunately, we're always packing an industrial sized barrel of triple-double kerosene named LeBron.

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We're winning. And I don't just mean this game.