SB Nation User Blog: TwistNHook

CGB Meme Invitational - Sweet 16 UC Eugene Regional Action!

TwistNHook — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:14:29 -0000

As the Supreme Leader of UC Eugene, this regional is a special one for me. Lots of action here. The eponymous UC Eugene. CougCenter Week. Bombarding Okanes. Although there is that inane replacing J with Y thing. Tevs.

Here is the bracket. Read the information behind the fold and then vote in the poll.

First up, we have a very tough matchup. CougCenter Week, Oski Monsta's favorite week of the year, versus UC Eugene, our most shining moment.

CougCenter Week has had a long journey to get here. It had to beat the Edit Button and then, after that, Syd, who happened to be playing offense. But it managed to pull that off and now it faces the one, the only, the UC Eugene.

UC Eugene took on the enigmatic Diante Jackson. No upset there!

UC Eugene (1)

Here at CGB, we have our link dump, the Daily Bear Dump (or DBD). I once thought what if we took our show on the road. The rest? CGB History.

I brought it to our fatter, stupider, balder siblings up north, Addicted To Quack.

DBD 1.20.09 I CLAIM THIS LAND IN THE NAME OF SPAIN, ALSO CALIFORNIAGOLDENBLOGS

This land may now be called California Golden Blogs North.

But do not worry, fair denizens of UC Eugene. We come in peace! Here, take these cured meats and bejeweled jean jackets as signs of our goodwill. We have been traveling to the many different SBNation-States here as pioneers, explorers, and conquistadors. Mostly, conquistadors, because we love those hats.

"The Maharg in full rave mode" via www.marcnorton.us

First, we went to Building The Dam. Their ways are interesting to us all. They showed us their giant feasts, their all night dance parties, and their cocaine-fueled goat orgies.

Things were going well until they tried to complain about how long it had been since they went to the mystical "Rose Bowl." Their impudence offended us. Telling us how to deal with not going to a Rose Bowl is like telling a fish how to survive in water. It's just second nature to us. So, we left. I mean we raped, pillaged and burned before we left. But not quite in that order. And that was the problem. We burned first, which really decreased the quality of both the rape and the pillage. Always have to remember to keep that in the specific order. Burn last. Always remember. Burn, last.

We then traveled to the Nation of the Bruins. Their fast-paced acronym-based language confused us. We tried to make nice nice with those hostiles by giving them the stuffed mustaches of Dorrell. But, in response, the savages shot arrows at us. So, we got the hell out of there. But not before they captured CBKWit. We thought of trying to go back in to save him, but I mean c'mon, arrows?!?!? I don't need that. Not worth it, not worth it.

And now we are here and we like it. It's good up here. Decent home-brewed beers, I mean not as good as back in our fair land, but still pretty good. I'm partial to JShufelt's JDraft. That's a good one. I've always felt Seattle Quacker's JDraft was just derivative.

Plus, after how our football team has done against yours the past 4 out of 5 years, I feel like we own this land anyway. So, in anticipation of the big b-ball game this weekend, we have come here to claim this land in the name of CGB. Bring us your women, build us our houses, and let's get to the work making CGB North the best possible CGB Annex possible. Can't be worse than Euro-CGB. Let's do this thing!

Now, I bring you news of your new team! Listen carefully to see how your new Golden Bear overlords are doing.

Thus there was much merriment and subjugation of locals. All was good with the world. I was the Tyrant Boy King of UC Eugene. My people were happy:

This is the greatest DBD in the history of CGB. I hope JServant arrives at my door early tomorrow morning so he can cool me off with large palm fronds while his minions feed me grapes.

"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.

by Berkelium97 on Jan 19, 2009 11:55 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Then, ultimately, there was the insurrection and the Declaration Of Independence.

On the same evening, the 1st convention of of the Addicted To Quack Congress declared the following:

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the sporting ties which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all bloggers are created equal, that they are endowed by Peter Bean with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. Such is now the necessity which constrains Addicted To Quack to alter their former systems of government. The history of the present King of Cal Golden Blogs (TwistNHook) is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over Addicted To Quack. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

With their presence, they did infect the fine name of Addicted To Quack with Rose Bowl envy, a malady brought upon by never seeing ones team win outright a football conference champion and take it's rightful place in the Rose Bowl Game, presented by AT&T.

With this Envy, they continued this complex with an undue amount of emphasis on "non-revenue" sports. While the fine denizens of Addicted To Quack respect the accomplishments of all athletic teams of the fine University, placing priority on lower-level athletics gives off the appearance of inferiority.

During occupation, the citizens of Addicted To Quack were subjected to all manor of inside jokes and mannerisms. However, this "Bearificiation" failed to contain the best of all UC Berkeley blogging traditions, the "Double Air E-Honk." (http://www.californiagoldenblogs.com/2009/1/13/720074/dbd-1-14-09-what-do-you-me). When it was presented, it was a shell of it's former self. It is an insult that the traditions were not passed on adequately.

CGB, in an act of torture in clear violation of the Geneva Conventions, used ATQ pagespace to terrorize citizens by subjecting them to heinous activities, such as "tennis," and "rugby."

The lower level citizens of CGB, instead of opening their arms to their brethren, instead decided to bring up bad blood by posting heinous pictures of events of which we shall not speak.

Cal Golden Blogs tried to export to the North, crappy beer, the so-called JDraft. This is totally unacceptable to our refined palates.

With these usurpations, Addicted To Quack must free itself from the tyrannical shackles of South, and take up arms!

Of course, as the Tyrant Boy King, I have personally led the forces into battle to squelch this insurrection.

I'm on the left there. That's Oaktown on the right.

So, there you go. The invasion and occupation of CGB North. Their land is our land. Never forget that. We're like the British! But with better teeth!

CougCenter Week (4) via Maharg

We’ve had a lot of weeks on CGB, we’ve had weeks dedicated to everything from Trutle Tarps to Hate. We’ve had weeks full of games and laughter (remember that time we played Truth or Tarp?). But none of our weeks have been as joyous since our original week. Now we’ve already heard the story of CougCenter origins from the Truth or _______ meme history, but did you know that CougCenter week was single-handedly responsible for more funny jokes than any other week in the history of CGB? Let’s all take a look at one of the greatest things that came out of CougCenter week, their logo:

If you all remember, we had some monumentally good times with those Cougars. Those Cougars provided us with lots of entertainment, who can forget these classic games:

10. Pin the Tail on the Cougar!

9. Hide and Go Seek a Cougar!

8. Truth or Cougar!

7. Hungry Hungry Cougars!

6. Sorry

5. Have sex with an older woman on the prowl for younger men.

4. Truth or Cougar

3. Musical Cougars

2. Cougar Twister

1. TwistNHook ruining Top 10 Festivities during CGB CougCenter Week.

So vote for CougCenter, because a vote for CougCenter is a vote for Cougars everywhere. Who doesn’t want more Cougars around here?

Happy 4th Of July Weekend!

TwistNHook — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 00:13:47 -0000

via www.shirtsnob.com

Here's hoping you all have a great 4th of July. Tell us, how will you be celebrating? Here, we'll be celebrating this weekend with more Sweet 16 action in the CGB Meme Invitational.

And reader Berklium97 has been kind enough to organize the questions from the Jahvid Best chat with Contra Costa Times writer Jonathon Okanes. We were lucky enough to get some of the questions answered by Jahvid Best. If you missed them or any other questions, the information is behind the fold.

GO AMERICA! GO BEARS! (in that order, natch).

Berklium97 sorted the questions as follows. The first set is questions brainstormed by us. The second set is questions that weren't brainstormed by us, but Berklium felt were still interesting to reread. Read the entire transcript here.

CGB questions

[Comment From Steve]

Which defenses (besides USC) have you found the most challenging to play against?

Jahvid Best: Besides USC defense, I'd say Oregon's defense because of their speed in the secondary and at the linebacking corps. Their defense played really physical and made it tough for us to move the ball. I'm looking forward to playing against them this year.

[Comment From bowl]

favorite berkeley restaurant?

Jahvid Best: My favorite Berkeley restaurant is hands-down La Burrita on Bancroft. I fell in love with that restaurant probably the first day I moved to Berkeley. I've been eating there ever since.

[Comment From JahvidBEAST]

What is the best part of having Tedford as a coach? The worst?

Jahvid Best: The best part of having Coach Tedford as a coach is just being around somebody that knows the game really well. He pushes you to be the best player that you can be and he puts you in the best position to make plays out on the field. I'd say the worst part, like with any coach, is that a coach is going to be hard on you. But that's just part of the game, so you have to deal with it.

[Comment From Berkelium97]

Former Cal runningback Marshawn Lynch’s weakness going into the draft was supposedly his pass blocking skills. Do you feel your pass blocking skills are up to par?

Jahvid Best: Pass blocking is something that Coach Gould has all the running backs work on every practice, so I get a lot of work on that during the season. There's a lot of aspects of my game that I need to work on before I pursue my dream of playing in the NFL. Pass blocking is one of those things, along with several other things.

[Comment From OskiMonsta]

Do you prefer to run behind zone blocking or man blocking? If man blocking, is there a certain blocking scheme that you prefer (such as a pulling backside guards, or tosses with pulling playside offensive tackles such as in the Emerald Bowl)?

Jahvid Best: I prefer to run behind zone blocking because it gives me a little more freedom to decide where I want to go whereas man blocking kind of has a set destination for the back to run.

[Comment From Best4Heisman]

Who is the best defensive player you've played against in the Pac-10?

Jahvid Best: The best defensive player I've played against is Brian Cushing of USC. He's probably one of the greatest linebackers I've ever studied on film. He's always around the ball, always in the backfield, and he's just a great overall player.

[Comment From GoldenBear]

Are you a Niners or a Raiders fan?

Jahvid Best: I have been a Raider fan since I can remember. I still I am a Raider fan even though they are not doing too well, but I'll always be behind them.

[Comment From stephen]

what are you looking forward to most this coming season? and are you seriously considering the nfl after this year?

Jahvid Best:

I'm looking forward to playing against the great competition in the Pac-10 this season. We have a lot of great games on our schedule. I'm looking forward to having another great season. With regards to the NFL, I'm not focused on it right now. I'm just focused on the season that's coming up. I'll put more time into that decision after the season.

Interesting/informative Non-CGB questions

[Comment From La Rone Smith]

Was your freshmen year @ Salesian your first year of organized football?

Jahvid Best: Yes, my freshman year of high school was my first year of organized football. I wanted to play Pop Warner but my mom would not let me. I always played football with my friends that played Pop Warner just in parks and on the street, but never organized until high school.

[Comment From Benjamin]

What has been the most memorable stadium you have played in since you've been at Cal?

Jahvid Best: The most memorable I've played in since I've been at Cal has to be the L.A. Coliseum. Playing against USC and the crowd that was there in combination with impact of that game had on both of our seasons really made that a special experience for me.

[Comment From CruzinBears]

Who are you looking forward to playing against most this year? (team-wise)

Jahvid Best: Top three teams I'm looking forward to playing this year would have to be Stanford, just keeping the axe; USC, because that's always a big game and I'd have to say Oregon State because it was a good game last year. It came down to a couple of plays and I like playing against competition like that.

[Comment From Jayo]

Growing up, what athletes did you look up to most and why?

Jahvid Best: I'd say the biggest athlete I looked up to growing up was Reggie Bush. But a lot of other athletes that I never really mention are Ricky Williams, Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant.

[Comment From BestFan]

Who are the top 3 fastest Bears (after you of course :) )?

Jahvid Best: In my opinion, after me it would go Shane, Kevin Lewis and Nyan.

[Comment From Trevor]

How did you get the name Jahvid? Does it have anything to do with your heritage?

Jahvid Best:

"Jah" means "Almighty One" where my Dad is from, which is St. Lucia. My Dad's name is David, so he took the "Jah" and took the "Vid" from the last part of his name, and made my name.

[Comment From Jayo]

did anyone razz you for getting sick on national tv last year versus Maryland? it looked like you had a blue slurpee before the game.

Jahvid Best: I get a lot of jokes from my friends, family, teammates and even some fans for what happened in Maryland. All I can do is laugh about it now. It happened, it's in the past, there's nothing I can do about it, except laugh.

[Comment From bowl]

funniest player on the team?

Jahvid Best:

In my opinion, there's a three-way tie for the funniest player on the team. It's between Jeremy Ross, Devin Bishop and Josh Hill. J-Ross is always making jokes and purposely trying to make you laugh, and he's good at that while Devin and Josh, they're just kind of funny by nature.

[Comment From VallejoApache_Bear]

Jahvid, Why didn't you play for Vallejo High School instead of Salesian? You would've had more yards rushing... ;-D

Jahvid Best: I went to Salesian to play basketball. At the time, Salesian was a really good basketball team, and they still are. I went to that high school pursuing basketball dreams. But after my freshman year, I stopped playing basketball and I didn't feel like changing schools. So I just stuck with Salesian throughout high school.

[Comment From Robert]

Which of our linebackers on this year's team do you LEAST like to be hit by?

Jahvid Best: The hardest hitting linebacker is D.J. Holt. He's probably the heaviest linebacker we have. It is not fun meeting him in the hole at practice.

Poll

How are you celebrating your 4th of July?

DBD 6.29.09 Wow, Maharg, really dodged a bullet there, didn't you?

TwistNHook — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 04:50:49 -0000

I mean just think about it. Michael Jackson, one of the most talented singers and entertainers of all time. From the youngest age, he is exploited like some sort of musical prostitute by his father, a truly terrible man. His child-hood is ruined in the pursuit of his skills and the rest of his life is like some sort of crazed nightmare, always surrounded, yet always alone.

And what about Britney Spears? So much ability. She, like Michael Jackson, pushed hard by her parents. Sold to the Disney Corporation at a young age, she never has a normal, regular childhood. By the time shes in her 20s, shes a complete mess, shaving her head and attacking cars with umbrellas. That'll show Detroit automakers!

So, for you, The Maharg, to have no skill, to completely totally lack ability, I mean that's the luckiest fucking thing ever. Praise Be To Bak Bak that you are like an empty blob of worthlessness. You can be just a regular, useless person with a normal enjoyable life. Not one of those talented people whose life is ruined from an early age.

You truly dodged a bullet there.

Speaking of Michael Jackson, I know that this topic(k) has been-a done to death in the past few days. But can I just say something here? Everybody mocks him for being so "weird." For creating Neverland. For having a monkey as a pet. And yea, some things are way out there, I get that.

But still, if you (yes, you!) had unlimited money and a series of people who would say "Let's Do It Right Now!" to every one of your most unreasonable fantasies and dreams, you'd have some incredibly weird shit out there, too. Don't try to deny it. Don't lie to yourself. If you could live our every one of your dreams, no matter how expensive or unreasonable, it'd be a hedonist splurge of crazy inanities just like Michael Jackson.

Alysia Johnson takes 7th:

California All-American Alysia Johnson came in seventh place in the final of the 800 meters on Sunday at the USATF Outdoor Championships at Hayward Field in Eugene, Ore. Among the other Golden Bears competing were - Katie Morgan (pole vault), Sebastian Sam (junior 800 meters), Ed Wright (high jump), Rhuben Williams (shot put) and Grace Upshaw (long jump).

Johnson clocked a time of 2:01.58 to earn her seventh-place finish. Hazel Clark won the event, clocking in at 2:00.79.

In the men's junior 800, Sam crossed the finish line in fifth place at 1:52.57.

Morgan, the 2008 NCAA pole vault champion, notched a mark of 13-9.25 (4.20m) to tie for 12th overall.

Upshaw, a Cal alum and two-time Olympian, came in fourth in the long jump with a mark of 22-2.50 (6.77m).

Williams tied for 11th in the shot put with his throw of 62-9.50 (19.14m).

CGB Meme Invitational - More Sweet 16 Brock Mansion Party Yacht Regional Action

TwistNHook — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 04:40:40 -0000

Woo, wee! They always say, may you live during interesting times. I can not, personally, think of any time more amazing than this. Iran in turmoil. Historic president. And the CGB Meme Invitational Sweet 16! UNBELIEVABLE! Here is the bracket. Now, we have the man, the mystery, the legend, and his Party Yacht: The Brock Mansion Party Yacht (1) v. Twist Evicts Grandmothers (4).

Party Yacht got a bye to the second round wherein it crushed Marshawnthusiasts love Longshore. Mansion taking down Longshore? And now taking on me, it just gets tougher and tougher for the Party Yacht.

Party Yatch (1)

On the left side of the main page, there is a little area for a tagline of sorts. I originally wrote something like about crafting the statue of Longshore. This worked because a)people seemed to think we were irrationally infatuated with him and it owned the criticism and b)he isn't very mobile. Then, Riley became QB (briefly), so we changed it to "the Hall Of Riley." So, I started to think about doing it for other QBs. Like Beau Sweeney's Cajun-Style Family Fun Foodeatery! And for Brock Mansion, I selected a line about him having a party yacht. This is the earliest ref I can find of it.

It blew up from there. It even got it's own theme song:

It was a fairly simple joke that just exploded. So, think about that next time you sit near the Statue of Longshore while eating at the Beau Sweeney's Cajun-Style Family Fun Foodeatery in the Hall of Riley on the Brock Mansion Party Yacht. PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last round I beat back 33SwisherSweet and his delightful dickishness.Then, I took out The Maharg (link is the same link as the Party Yacht one above). I've beaten two fake online personalities, now can I take on a real life human being? Answer: No.

(4) Twist Evicts Grandmothers.

This originaly stemmed from the 2008 Cal Coaches Tour. Coach Montgomery and Coach Tedford met people at the Back40 Grill in Pleasant Hill, CA for food and a Q+A. All of CGB West went there. Afterwards, CBKWit and TwistNHook approached Coach Tedford for a photo and chatted for a second. The rest is history. Awkward, awkward history:

But in the few opportunities I've had to speak to him personally, he always seems so relaxed. Last time at the Cal FanFest he laughed when I told him how I spent the Holmoe years continuously in the fetal position.

This time I managed to get him to mock me to my face. Truly a crowning achievement. After the event, CBKWit and I went up to snap a photo with him. The people in front of us seemed all rich and powerful with their suits and male pattern baldness. Being young and poor and be-haired, I had the following exchange with Tedford (CBKWit's portion of the transcript has been redacted due to irrelevancy):

TwistNHook: "Sorry, coach, we haven't met you before because we aren't rich and powerful."

Tedford: "Why aren't you guys rich and powerful."

TwistNHook: "We're just out of college."

Tedford: "Oh. What are you guys up to?"

TwistNHook: "I'm an attorney. (AND THIS IS WHERE IT GETS MODERATELY INSANE!) I just tried to evict two people this morning."

Tedford: "Were they tree-sitters??"

TwistNHook: "No, one was a grandmother.....and the other was also a grandmother." (True story!.....kind of)

Tedford: "Wow! What a guy" (BUT SARCASTICALLY!!! HE WAS BEING SARCASTIC!)

TwistNHook: "Yeah, I'm kind of an asshole." /slinks away

OMSOMSOMSOMSOMSOMSOMSOMSOMSOMSOMS TEDFORD MOCKED ME!!!! THAT WAS THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't
know why I started rambling about my work. I looked Tedford in the eyes, I felt starstruck. This is what it must be to stand next to the Pope!

So, after that, my awkward conversation created the meme that I was an evil troll expanding my empire by evicting grandmothers from their hard-earned houses. Which, bee tee dubz, is completely true. Completely.

CGB Meme Invitational Sweet 16 Brock Mansion Party Yacht Regional

TwistNHook — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 04:22:03 -0000

Well, we have the Sweet 16! Exciting times to be alive. Here is the bracket to check out all the action. After the fold, we have the first match up for the Brock Mansion Party Yacht Regional in the Sweet 16: Anguish Ape (6) v. The Patron Saint Of Awesomeness, Danzig (2). Read the information and then vote in the poll!

Ok, now we are getting to the nitty gritty. To the metaphorical second weekend, which is something like 7 weekends after the start of this process. But hey, nobody loves absurdist dada-style humor more than Cal fans. Nobody. Seriously, I will personally murder anybody and everybody who likes absurdist dada-style humor more until only Cal fans remain. That's my promise to you, dear reader.

This match up is a tough one, because, in many ways, Danzig and Anguish Ape are the same person. We don't know a lot about either of them. I can only assume danzig is covered with a thick fur.

The key difference is that danzig has never, ever, EVAIR, E.V.A.I.RRRRRRRRRRRRRRe felt anguish, because anguish stems from anxiety, consternation, or failure. And danzig has never failed. At anything. Ever. He's the most successful person ever. He's so amazing, he makes Chuck Norris seem like a wacky right-wing washed up C-level TV star.

He's so amazing, he even crushed rising star "Carp's Armored Dog." Carp's Armored Dog was a phenom, quickly rising through the ranks of meme-dom. But danzig stopped him cold in the water, the VERY water the dog's armor was protecting from.

Danzig (2)

via www.sjsu.edu

What to say about danzig? Little is known about this enigmatic gentleman. The Patron Saint Of Awesomeness, he offers little about his personal or private life. He's in the financial sector, somehow. Somewhere. Is he in Europe? New York? Cote d'Ivory?

But he offers so much! He gives us endless videos! Like this one:

Endless awesomeness. We even donated money to the band in his name.

Basically, he's da man! Also, he might be a sentient robot ready to snap at any time. Let's hope not!

First time out, Anguish Ape beat up on Leon Powe. This caused both rollonubears and Leon Powe (the reader) to feel lots of anguish. It was very ironic. Just like when it rained on my wedding day. Then, he took the wood to CBKWit's Recruiting Post. It's the same link as the Danzig v. Carp's Armored Dog post of above. Although, to be fair, CBKWit's Recruiting Post wasn't too difficult to beat.

It was, yknow, a no-show. Again. NAAAAAAAAAAAAILLLLLLLLLLLLED ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

Anguish Ape (6)

via 3.bp.blogspot.com

I wish there was something crazy cool when it came to Anguish Ape. Like I snuck into a zoo and taunted an ape until he felt anguish. At which point, I took his photo.

But in reality, I merely wanted to encapsulate the concept of anguish one day. So, I google imaged the word "Anguish" and took the first image I saw. It comes from here. Which appears to be a Malaysian blog of some sort. The tagline says "This ape is also waiting for his offer/posting letter."

I have NO idea what that means. But I do know what its like to wait for my offer/posting letter and man is it full of anguish! All I know is that Zoo News in his infinite wisdom slash Photoshoppia rolled with it. And started giving us stuff like this:

So, there you go. That's the story behind Anguish Ape. He's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Anguished!

Hall Of Fame Tournament Continues At Breakneck Speed

TwistNHook — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 14:42:36 -0000

Hall Of Fame Tournament Continues At Breakneck Speed

"The left side of the Hall of Fame bracket is set. Here is what the first set of second round picks look like.

Tony Gonzalez (88% vs Hardy Nickerson) vs Ryan Anderson (65% vs Rod Benson)
Matt Biondi (69% vs Sean Lampley) vs Joe Igber (89% vs Will Ta'ufo'ou)
Geoff Macarthur (59% vs Shareef Abdur-Rahim) vs Jack Clark (85% vs Lavelle Hawkins)
Nnamdi Asomugha (62% vs Craig Stevens) vs Deltha O'Neal (86% vs Thomas Decoud)

Jeff Tedford (98% vs Angie Pressey) vs Joe Roth (98% vs Robert Jordan)
The Play players (73% vs Vicky Galindo) vs Ashley Walker (90% vs Ben Braun)
JJ Arrington (94% vs Brian Hendrick) vs Dante Hughes (60% vs Lamond Murray)
Mike Pawlawski (82% vs Sean Dawkins) vs Leon Powe (91% vs Lorenzo Alexander)"

CoCoTimes Interview with Jahvid Best going on PREVIOUSLY!

TwistNHook — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 20:42:28 -0000

CoCoTimes Interview with Jahvid Best going on PREVIOUSLY!

Link is in the title. Look here to help ask our list of questions.

OPEN THREAD Questions for Jahvid Best Okanes Interview Today!

TwistNHook — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 15:00:09 -0000

Let's use this as an open thread for the interview.

Today, CoCoTimes dude Jon Okanes will have a live interview with Jahvid Best. To best get solid questions from us across, we first had a brain storming session, put together by Berklium97.

The event is currently scheduled for tomorrow, June 25th from 1:30pm to 2:30 pm.

Berk has collated the questions and ordered them by recs. I will list them below. Please, select a question or questions you would like to ask. First come, first serve. Make 100% sure you can actually be there tomorrow at 1:30 before claiming a question and taking it away from somebody else who might want to ask it. You can claim multiple questions, but don't be unreasonable. Start with the questions with the most recs and work your way down. As questions get selected, I'll try to edit in the name of the selector by the question.

6 recs:
What do you hear when you’re running with the ball in the open field? The fans? The opposing players and crashing pads? Your own heavy breathing? The Benny Hill soundtrack? Joe Starkey? Nothing but silence and your own voice inside your head?
5 recs:
Do you miss being gunner? If Cal nailing the opponent deep in their zone with a Brian Anger punt means Cal goes to the Rose Bowl, do you beg Tedford to put you in as gunner?
Do you or your teammates read any of the Cal fan sites/blogs? Which one(s)?
How else would you like to see yourself utilized in the passing game? We’ve seen you receive screens but rarely ever release and go down the field for passes. Is this something that you feel like you can do and would like to do?
4 recs:
What is the best part of having Tedford as a coach? The worst?
We’ve seen Tedford draw up plays where the runningback passes the ball. Shane Vereen has been the runningback on all those plays and you have not. Does this frustrate or disappoint you? Can you throw a football? Can you throw a football better than Shane Vereen?
Former Cal runningback Marshawn Lynch’s weakness going into the draft was supposedly his pass blocking skills. Do you feel your pass blocking skills are up to par? Are you afraid that people are going to see you as more of a scat back and a player of limited versatility because you’re better with the ball in your hands than without?
3 recs:
Was DeSean upset when you plowed over him en route to a 64-yard touchdown against Colorado State in 2007?
What is the best part about being at Cal, other than football? What is the worst?
Who is the best defensive player you've played against in the Pac-10?
Do you prefer to run behind zone blocking or man blocking? If man blocking, is there a certain blocking scheme that you prefer (such as a pulling backside guards, or tosses with pulling playside offensive tackles such as in the Emerald Bowl)?
Why do you ever look behind you during a TD run? No one's gonna catch you
2 recs:
How's your knee?
How do you think you will be with Alex Mack and Will Ta'fou'ou gone? Do any of the other fullbacks stand out to you?
We all know you're the best running back out there. But who's the best running back on the team after you?
Do the comparisons to Reggie Bush inspire you or do they make you feel like expectations out of you are too high?
Do you ever speak to Quizz Rodgers, C.J. Gable/Stafon Johnson/etc., Kendall Hunter, or any of the other elite running backs in the country? If so, what do you all talk about?
Outside of football, what have you enjoyed most about your Cal experience?
How did it feel to miss the track season? Seeing the 100 times at the NCAAs, how do you think you would’ve stacked up if you were healthy?
Were you disappointed to have come out of the Washington game in the 3rd Q? If memory serves, I think you needed only 47 more yards to break the Pac-10 single game rushing record.
Of the MANY signature plays you've had in your career, which is your favorite? Mine is the end around vs. Fucla last year. The move you put on that dude was sick.
1 rec:
Can you get a new 100 time to make people who say you are only the 6th fastest player in the nation shove it?
[Show him Danzig's reel] What do you think?
What do you think you need to work on to become a better running back?
What adjustments to your training regimen have you made in light of your surgeries and do you anticipate making to prevent the chance of future injuries?
Other than you, who's the hardest worker on the team?
Which defenses (besides USC) have you found the most challenging to play against?
What is your Favorite Berkeley restaurant?
Do you have any plans for life after football?
Are you a Niners or a Raiders fan?
All Cal fans wish you the best, and we’d love to have you for another year, but what is the likelihood you return for your senior season?

So, there you go. Hopefully, we can all work together to get some solid questions in there and keep AaronRodgers4President from beating us out. Also, please try to have reasonably normal names instead of the usual inanity. Let's try to be REASONABLY professional here. kinda. Sort of. GO BEARS!

GIVE ME STUDENT SECTION OR GIVE ME DEATH!

TwistNHook — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 04:27:16 -0000

But preferably, student section.

See, Webster's Dictionary defines "Ken Crawford" as a well-respect Cal blogger, who runs the site "Excuse Me For My Voice." He also hunts people for sport and fashion.

He recently wrote an interesting piece about potentially moving the student section. Go and read it, it's good stuff. Because we're about to conga-line onto his bandwagon of concepts and theories and new-fangled beliefs in something called a "Justin Forsett It And Forget It."

"I'm actually in this photo. Look for the guy wearing blue and also some gold." via upload.wikimedia.org

Avinash: Well, let me play devil's advocate. Take away all this 'purity of college' crap; college sports, in general, lose money for the university and divert resources away from academia. What is even more surprising is that football generally breaks even and doesn't come close to making up the difference.

The Pac-10 has also begun to feel the pinch and the situation isn't expected to get better anytime soon.

Now, Cal is currently one of the few athletic programs that can sustain itself thanks to boosters, donors, and whatever, but that trend won't last forever. So the university should look for ways to maximize its profit margin and keep itself in the black, and the obvious attraction would be giving the premium seats at Memorial Stadium to people who will pay top dollar for it as opposed to the students (who are paying essentially gold zone money for the best seats in the house).

Why would you guys be against this?

TwistNHook: I don't know. I never had the student experience at a Cal game. I was always doing the band thing. I have no idea what the student experience is like.

What is the student experience like?

HydroTech: Charge students more money for their tickets. Also have them pay a penalty fee for not going to the game if they did buy season tickets.

Avinash: But would the student section sell out if you charged more money?

HydroTech: Perhaps it wouldn't. But this is my line of thinking. If the students are going to occupy some of the best seats in the house, charge them appropriately. If the Athletics Department feels that the students are being under-charged, then charge them more. Furthermore, because the students are occupying the best seats in the house, they better come to the games because if they don't, then the University lost out on possible revenue from a willing alumni who would have paid $250 for those seats or whatever. Thus, that is why I suggested that the Athletics Department charge the students a penalty fee for not coming to games if they bought tickets. I think Alabama has something similar to this.

Such a change would cover all interests of the program. It still allows students the best seats in the house. It still maintains that tradition of having students on the fifty yard line. It still provides excellent home field advantage by having some of Cal's most consistently loud fans at the most strategic position within the stadium. It allows the Athletics Department to increase their revenue. And furthermore, it encourages students from skipping on games so they don't get penalized.

Alternatively, the Athletics Department could charge the students MUCH more than they are currently paying, and subtract costs from the students if they attend the game. In other words, charge the students $500 for season tickets, but for every home game they attend their account will be credited $40. Thus, if the students attend all 7 home games, they'll be credited $280, and the cost of their season tickets really is $220. This alternative method accomplishes the same goal as my first suggestion but instead of penalizing the students, it rewards them. Although the result is essentially the same, psychologically, it can be more encouraging for the students to "earn" credit rather than being punished.

Frankly, I think this is a great solution to the problem, and I'm not just saying this because I put forth this idea.

TwistNHook: I think thats a great idea and Im saying that solely because I think Hydro will punch me in the face if I disagree.

That said, heres my concern. We generally sit in Section RR. This is to the left of the band. This is, ostensibly, a student section. But since its on the other side of the band, its always wide open. So, if they move the students, that might stop being so wide open and easy to go to for the games.

So, I am now 100% completely and totally opposed to any moves.

"I'd put all the students in "Haas Press Box."" via grfx.cstv.com

Yellow Fever: I'm not so certain that a plan like that would work. I have no doubt that at a cost of 220, the student section would sell out, but with an upfront sticker price of 500, you'd have to imagine a lot of students would be wary about their initial investment even if they were planning on attending every game.

HydroTech: I understand your concern, Fever. In that case, charge the students the normal fee and add a punishment clause whereby they pay an extra $30 to $40 for every game they miss.

Avinash: The biggest issue I'm seeing is that the really passionate young Cal fans (the ones that make the most noise) get priced out. College kids enjoy their football, but it's not like the most diehard fans have to go to the games anymore. They can probably sit back and watch on their friend's 50" HD, or go to one of the many huge sports bars if they feel the University is tightening their grasp on their wallets.

If we raise the prices on students, we might see a similar issue permeate the student section. Indifferent on defense, occasionally cheering when it gets late, etc. Do we really want to leave our rowdiest fans out on a limb?

HydroTech: Well, I think the solution is to then make the game-day environment one that can't be missed. And thus, those people that want to watch the game at home on their HDTVs, will be able to see the game and that's it. They'll miss out on the band, the music, the energy within the stadium, the free giveaways, etc. If Cal can make the gameday environment exciting and enticing enough so that people who stay home and watch the game on TV will feel like they're missing out on something special, then those people will start coming to the games in person.

Avinash: You don't feel moving the students to the gold zone and/or blue zones is a feasible solution?

Yellow Fever: Personally, if the game day experience is fine, I'd have no problem being anywhere in the stadium. But then you're talking about a guy who's paid for tickets in the very top row of the worst stadium in the NBA, so I don't really have the highest of standards. Still, I don't feel like the team needs to worry about pricing out too many students. Is there any problem with student attendance now? If there isn't, then in the interest of capitalism I don't have any problem with the team charging as much as they can.

HydroTech: I think moving the students to the endzones is a possibility, but not a feasible one when the goal we are trying to accomplish is keeping the tradition of student seating on the 50 yard line and also increasing revenue. If we simply wanted to increase revenue, then yes, moving the students to the endzone is the right thing to do. However, that would mean the tradition and strategic advantage of having the students at mid-field is lost. Keeping the students where they are, and charging more money for season tickets - along with the punishment fee for missed games - would be an ideal way to satisfy both goals.

"Would moving the student section mean the end of card stunts?" via upload.wikimedia.org

Ragnarok: Man, I don't even know where to start. I'm not even sure whether I dislike this idea more than simply moving the students off the 50.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I wasn't a Cal fan until I started attending school there. I think the same goes for a lot of Cal fans. I probably wouldn't have even attended football games if I hadn't joined the Cal Band; I sure didn't bother going to football games in high school. But once I was in, I was hooked -- and given that I was watching a Tom Holmoe-coached team, you know that there has to be something special about Cal football.

All this talk about moving students into the endzones, or raising ticket prices on them, or charging them penalty fees for missing games; these are all shortsighted moves that will, in the long run, hurt Cal football. There's a reason student tickets are so cheap, and especially why there are corporate sponsors paying for free tickets for freshmen: it's all designed to induce student attendance. Students are on a budget -- many depend on scholarships and grants to get them through each semester, and tripling or quadrupling football ticket prices will just drive them away. However, if you get students to attend a few games, and if they're at all susceptible, they'll be hooked for life.

The point of having a football program is not to make money. In fact, simply not losing money should be only a secondary concern. The point, like every extra-curricular activity that the University sponsors, is to enhance the experience of the student body in general. Give students a good time, and they'll keep coming back for 50 years, putting up with crappy seats, terrible parking, and all the while donating money to their alma mater. Drive the students away, and you'll be wondering why, in 30 years, your alumni base that stays active and involved in their alma mater is so small.

"Is this a view Cal students should have?" via www.rkgprojects.com

Avinash: You're arguing that if we move the student section to the end zones and charge the same price, fewer students would show up? I don't think end zone seats are that bad; it's not exactly like sitting in the upper deck corners in baseball or basketball games, you're still getting a fairly decent view of the game on the field, without much detriment to the viewing experience.

TwistNHook: Have you ever sat in the end zone seats? You cant tell whether that run went for 1 yard, 5 yards, or 15.

To be fair, last time I sat in the end zone was USC 2005. I couldn't tell whether the DBack returned Ayoob's interception for 1 yard, 5 yards, or a TD. So, I might have some Vietnam-esque flashbacks to that proposal.

Ragnarok: No, I'm arguing that if you raise ticket prices, you'll get fewer students to show up, and if you start instituting penalty fees for not showing up, you're going to get fewer students to purchase student tickets in the first place. I'm also arguing that if you diminish the student experience, you'll get fewer of them to come back as alumni (and this is true whether you're talking about Cal football, or other sports, or the classroom experience, or whatever). Make the students love their four years at Cal, when they are poor, and you'll be repaid over the next 50 years as they become well-to-do alumni.

Moreover, I was arguing at the beginning that moving the students off the 50 and marginalizing their impact on the crowd and on the football game will only serve to diminish the experience for everyone involved. What I like about the ESP program and much of the renovation plan in general is that it brings in significant new revenue from the small portion of the fanbase that is able to afford it, and it does this by significantly enhancing the perks they receive and their overall gameday experience, without significantly detracting from the experience of the vast majority of the fans. Displacing the students to appease some portion of the general season ticket base (you know that the vast majority will put up with reseating without complaint) does not achieve the same level of unobtrusiveness.

Poll

Student Section. Move or stay?

Move

27 votes

Stay

184 votes

211 votes | Poll has closed

DBD 6.23.09 Racist Supreme Court Justices Needed

TwistNHook — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 05:50:37 -0000

Well, it's seems to be all the rage to appoint obviously racist judges to the US Supreme Court. And for the CGB Supreme Court, it should be no different, right? Just as HolmoePhobe is bizarrely obsessed (his words, not mine!) with the genuine process, we should honor the reality of the sitch.

Now that all the backroom dealings are finished and we have two briefs ready to go, we can have the arguments on the Supreme Court. It took a long time and there was MUCH more drama than you might think behind the scenes. But whats done is done. Now, we need Justices. I remember a few people wanted to be Justices, Hydro, Spazzy, CalUmBus Bear, OakTownMario, others Im forgetting. If you want to be a Justice, please email me at Twistnhook at gmail dot com so I can coordinate that aspect. Thank you!

I'm rereading this and its painfully unfunny, but tevs. It gets the point across. If you want to be a justice, contact me. Thanks.

Alexis Grey-Lawson to join Team USA:

USA Basketball today announced the official 12-member team for the 2009 USA Women's World University Games Team with California senior Alexis Gray-Lawson included on the roster. The USA Women will compete for a gold medal at the 2009 World University Games, July 1-11 in Belgrade, Serbia.

Gray-Lawson was named one of the original 15 finalists after the initial tryout camp held in Colorado Springs in mid-May. The team members were selected by the USA Basketball Women's Junior National Team Committee, chaired by Sue Donohoe, the NCAA Vice President for Division I Women's Basketball, following four days of training for 15 finalists June 18-21.

The U.S. squad will continue training camp at the U.S. Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs, Colo., through June 25, when the team departs for Belgrade, Serbia.The World University Games is organized by the International University Sports Federation and held every other year. The women's basketball competition will take place July 1-11. Eligible athletes for the USA team must be currently enrolled in a college or university and have remaining NCAA athletic eligibility.

"I'm just excited for the chance to go to Serbia", said Gray-Lawson. "I have never been, and I'm just ready to go."

Gray-Lawson is the second Bear in the last five years and the third overall to be part of Team USA. Devanei Hampton played on the 2006 US Under-20 National Team. Trisha Stafford was a member of the 1990 US Junior National Team.