"Hockey's biggest problem __I don't care how many years you've watched it, and I've been doing it for 35 years since they came to town__ you can't REALLY see what's happening unless you watch it in slow motion! Then the skill level is almost unbelievable. But watching at full speed you don't see nearly as much of what is "really" hapening as you do in the three (more) major sports. IOW, it's not just that it's hard to see the puck. It's that the important aspects of the game __the basic skills__ take place at a speed, and in a welter of action, that is just too tough for most people's eyes to decode."

-- Thomas Boswell, Washington Post chat, 1/14/10

Random statistical musings in bullet form (minimum nine games played for defensemen, 10 for forwards).

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Given how extensively the Canadian hockey media is in the tank for Pittsburgh forward and oiled-up barely-legal model Sidney Crosby, it would take truly remarkable Crosby-worship for one Canadian journalist to rise above the rest. And yet Jeff Marek, a CBC radio host and tweeter, has managed to differentiate himself from his peers. His Crosby-fluffing medium of choice: Twitter.

Marek's Crosby worship took off during the Canadian Olympic orientation camp when his Crosby-obsessive Tweets spawned a mini-competition to see who could RT them and make fun of them first and best. Here's a quick recap:

• @JeffMarek started slowly -- "Crosby looks excellent. But then again, didn't he just win the cup yesterday?" -- but quickly ramped up;
• "Crosby leading the stretch at centre. Very exciting tweet that was";
• "Team White skate over. Crosby was the class of the skate again. Wash - rinse - repeat.";
• "I should have the new line combos in a couple of hours. Will be curious to see if the keep crosby/nash together. They've been magic." (Magic? In a pre-season, pre-camp, pre-practice practice? Is Marek 12 years old? Does he believe in dragons?);
• "Crosby is killing everyone in the faceoff drills. So much for that being a weak part of his game."; and
  
• "I hope you all get to see this pass Crosby made to Derek Roy tonight at the scrimmage. Best pass of the camp hands down." (Seriously? Rating passes at pre-season, pre-camp, pseudo-scrimmages?)

@JeffMarek's fluff job became so epic in the Twittersphere that even NHL public relations staffers have piled on. After @JeffMarek tweeted this last night -- "Crosby w/a pair tonight vs Jackets. I'll repeat again, he was the best player at [Team Canada] orientation camp." -- Caps PR chief Nate Ewell couldn't take it anymore and tweeted back: "Heard you the first 457 times, Jeff."

Amen.

The guys who I'd be happy to see end up going to WSH at No. 24, plus some must-reads/follows

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Sometimes it is difficult to detail how important a third-liner is to a playoff team's success. Not when it comes to David Steckel, the Caps' wunder-killer and hard-hat wearer.

In two games against PIT, Steckel is 2-0-2, +2, and has won 21 of 30 faceoffs (70 percent). He has been the Caps' best penalty-killer: In both games Steckel led the Caps in short-handed time-on-ice. Despite killing penalties against the opponent's top power play unit, Steckel rates out as the Capitals' best PK forward in terms of goals-against-per-60-minutes-on-ice (among forwards who kill an average of two or more minutes per game). The only PIT PPG for which Steckel has been on the ice was last night's 6-on-4 goal.

And what about Steckel at 5-on-5? Against the Rangers, Steckel was a bit of an adventure 5-on-5: He was the Caps' top-rated offensive forward in terms of GFON/60 and he was the worst-rated defensive forward in GAON/60. (True: His job is to match up against the opponents' top line.)

But against PIT Steckel has been simply phenomenal 5-on-5: Once again, no Capital forward has been on ice for as many 5-on-5 goals per 60 minutes than has Steckel, not even Alex Ovechkin. Throughout this series Caps coach Bruce Boudreau has matched Steckel up against the Crosby line. Boudreau said after Game Two that Steckel was on ice for all but two of Crosby's EV shifts. No matter: PIT has not scored an EV goal with Stecks on the ice. (As noted above, the only goal PIT has scored with Steckel on the ice was in a 6-on-4 situation.)

I'm not the only one noticing that Steckel has been the Caps' second-best forward in this series: Boudreau played Stecks for 19:11 in Game One and for 16:31 in Game Two.

Ovechkin and Simeon Varlamov are getting the headlines, but the Caps wouldn't have won either of the series' first two games without Steckel.

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Seriously. That video segment is teh awesome. Non. Stop. Laughs. In case you missed it, it ran on the VC board and it's viewable in that complicated Caps media player thing-ama-bob: Gabby's kid Brady went all Mike Wallace on Mike Green, Brooks Laich, Matt Bradely and David Steckel. That leaves at least 19 guys to choose from for the next installment. Perhaps someone in the Caps' Goaltending Dept. could get on that, stat? I mean, imagine Brady asking AO about Don Cherry...  or Brady asking Alex Semin about why he pretends not to know any English?

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Great note from Brian Cazeneuve on SI.com:

[A] great assist should go to Zdeno Chara, the Bruins' defenseman who cannonballed a 105.4 mile-per-hour slapper to win the hardest-shot competition. Chara donned a hat with the logo of Right to Play, the worthy athlete-driven charitable group that uses sports to aid underprivileged and impoverished children around the world. He convinced the other five players in the hardest-shot competition (Lecavalier, Mark Streit of the Islanders, Shea Weber of the Predators, Mike Komisarek of the Canadiens and Sheldon Souray of the Oilers), to donate $1,000 for the organization. Upon hearing this, the NHL, the NHL Players' Association and the clubs of the six players all matched the players' donations, so there was $24,000 in the pot.

From TSN's Darren Dreger on Whiny Diver missing the all-star game:

"In his heart, Sidney Crosby knew he had to be in Montreal to help prop up the National Hockey League and show that the Pittsburgh Penguins are well represented.

But Crosby took some heat. There was a lot of pressure on himself and the Pittsburgh Penguins encouraging him to do what was right for his body and his organization in the second half."

Aw, he has such a good heart...

Reality check: Who cares? There are 40 other all-stars there, including a whole bunch of NHLers who don't sucker-punch guys in the 'nads and who don't instigate fights by jumping guys while wearing a visor. Why would the NHL want to be represented by that kind of child?

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So this morning I'm at the Starbucks in Tenley. There's a seven-year-old there with his dad.

The two are looking at the WP sports page. The dad is clearly reading about the NFL playoffs, the Wiz, etc. The kid is talking about the Caps, while his dad is talking about football. Finally the kid says: "Dad, I don't care about the Ravens. What does the paper say about Alex Ovechkin?"

Dear Gentlemen,

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I don't understand why I pay $Umpteen and Center Ice can't show all possible games. Take tonight, for example, when ANA plays CAR, an interesting inter-conference matchup featuring a bunch of goons and a team that hits nothing.

According to Center Ice Extra (the 'second' NHL CI channel), Anaheim-Carolina is on NHL Network. According to NHL Network... the Lightning Championship Video (potential audience of... six) is on. Thanks for that Center Ice. One good game all day today and you find a way not to show it.

Breaking!

CBC has canceled tonight's scheduled broadcast of Hockey Night in Canada. Instead  of showing PHL-TOR, tonight CBC, its hosts, analysts, and anyone in greater Toronto who happens to wander in front of a TV camera will talk about, analyze and pontificate on all things Brian Burke.

Tonight's scheduled PHL-TOR game will be played, but no one except those in attendance will see it. (I mean, come on. Who cares? It's BRIAN BURKE.)