• Louisville lost to Syracuse 6-2 as Jeff Francis Mediocrroyo'd his way through 6 2/3 IP, giving up 4 runs on 8 hits. Joey Gathright went 3-5 and drove in both runs, which is annoying, because Dusty might get tempted if he keeps hitting. The only thing more annoying than Joey Gathright going 3-5, you ask? Why, that'd be Willie Harris going 4-4. Grumble grumble. Kris Negron and Danny Dorn each had 2 hits including a double, while the bottom half of the order hit jack squat. Syracuse's starter? That Zach Duke. Up next: Battle of the "thats" as John Lannan takes on Brett Tomko (0-5, 3.18 ERA) at 7:05.
• Pensacola lost to Jackson 4-2 behind another alright-but-not-inspiring outing from J.C. Sulbaran. The Flying Dutchman went six innings, giving up all 4 runs on 9 hits, while walking 1 and striking out just 3. Gets a big "meh" from me. Brodie Greene was the only Wahoo with multiple hits (this is becoming an irksome trend), and had one of two extra-basers, the other coming from David Vidal, who continues to suck after being promoted from Bakersfield. Up next: Kyle Lotzkar (1-1, 3.20 ERA) takes el bumperino against Jackson at 1:05.
• Bakersfield beat David Lynch's favorite team, the Inland Empire 66ers, 5-3. Billy Hamilton stole 2 bases on a single and a walk. Tony Cingrani started and earned the win, going 5.1 innings allowing just one run. The Strikeout Swami wasn't very strikey-outey though, King just 2 and walking 1. Kyle McMyne bounced back from a rough first outing in the California desert by tossing 1.2 perfect innings, matching Cingrani's strikeout total. Moose Mattair led the offense with 3 hits, while newly acquired (?) 3B Niko Vazquez went 2-4 with an RBI double. Juan Duran had 2 more hits tonight, and has really turned it on the last 7 games, going 12-31 during that span, with 2 doubles and a solo bebop. Hope he keeps Rockin' Steady. Up next: The French Hammer of Justice (0-0, 2.14 ERA) takes on San Jose at 10.
• Dayton was blanked (shocking, I know) by West Michigan, 8-0. The Dragon offense quickly returned to its low-scoring ways after a brief out-of-character scoring binge last week and into the weekend. Sean Buckley and Kurtis Muller accounted for over 60% of Dayton's hit total, and Ryan Wright snapped an 11 game hitting streak when he left the game in the fifth with a sprained right wrist. Early reports are that it isn't very serious, and he was removed as a precautionary measure. Hope everything's all Wright with Wryan's wrist. Dan Jensen was whupped on, surrendering 6 runs in just 3 innings. The Dragons aren't a very fun team, especially without Wright. Up next: The South Bend Silver Hawks come to Fifth Third Field at 7, and will be met by Rowdy Rad Quezada (1-6, 4.56), who opposes vaunted prospect Archie Bradley.

Quick and dirty as I'm filling in. Man oh man that sweep felt good.

• Louisville lost to Indy in a long heartbreaker of a pitcher's duel, 2-1. The 15-inning affair featured an admirable 7 inning performance from Jeff "Plan B" Francis, who gave up just 1 run on 4 hits. Nick Christiani and Scott Carroll combined for 5 scoreless relief innings before Jordan Smith gave it away in the 15th. Despite 11 hits from the Bats, only 2 went for extra bases (doubles from Dioner Navarro and Bill Rhinehart). Joey Gathright went 1 for 1 with a walk as a PH/CF in his first game for Louisville. Up next: Pedro Villareal (2-0, 3.32 ERA) looks to continue his success in AAA against Indy at 7:15.
• Pensacola beat the Mississippi Braves 4-2 thanks in large part to Yordanys "the Menace" Perez and his 2-3 day that included mistering a solo Wilson and an RBI single. The Hellflower went 2-4 with a double as well, providing the offensive support for a decent, if unspectacular, outing from J.C. Sulbaran, who lasted five and two-thirds, giving up 2 runs on 7 hits, striking out 3 and walking 2. DoJo continued to roundhouse kick opponents in the face with his curveballs, striking out 3 in 1.2 innings for his 11th save on the year. Oh, and Ryan LaMarre had 2 outfield assists. Nice. Up next: Kyle Lotzkar (1-1, 1.10 ERA) looks to make poutine out of the Braves at 8.
  
• Bakersfield lost in extras to San Jose, 4-3, in the 12th inning. Chris Joyce blew it. Sir Quix-a-Lot stole 2 bases, and Devin Lohman and Juan Duran joined The Knockwurst in slamming pogs over the fence. Maybe it's just the Cal League, but Lohman has already honked half as many wangers as he did all of last year. We really do have a glut of middle infield talent, even if Lohman's ceiling is limited. Tony Cingrani had his first human outing, giving up two whole runs in 5.1 innings of work, striking out a mere 4, and walking 2. Hopefully he's just working on that breaking ball. Up next: Justice French Onion Soup (0-0, 1.06) aims to souffle San Jose (that's fun to say out loud) at everyone-will-be-drinking o'clock (10:30 ET).
  
• Dayton learned the hard way that walks will haunt, losing to Lansing 5-2 after the pitching staff walked 12 on the night. Dan Jensen had a WHIP of 3.00 in his 4 innings as a starter, while James Allen and El'Hajj Muhammad matched him in finishing out the game, though the former didn't allow a run in his 3 innings of work. Kurtis Muller was the only Dragon with more than 1 hit, going 2-4 with the lone RBI (the other run scored on an error). Up next: Rowdy Rad Quezada (1-5, 3.65) takes the hill in the rubber match against Lansing at 7:05.
  

• Louisville took a day off from work on Wednesday. Up next: Our That Jeff Francis (2-5, 4.45 ERA) takes on Rudy Owens (2-2, 2.50 ERA) and Indianapolis at 7:05.
• Pensacola lost to Mississippi, 5-2. Despite only 3 baserunners, the Wahoos scored 2 runs, thanks in part to a David Vidal triple. Didi and Yordanys Perez had the other two hits. Tim Gustafson got knocked around a bit, giving up 5 runs in 5.2 innings. This was a pretty forgettable game. No dongles were dingled by the good guys, and the Boohoos struck out 10 times. Steve "Helen" Hunt sac flied a run in. He's Mad About RBIs. But not really 'cuz he has 2 in AA. I'm happy to sacrifice a Wahoo win against the Braves for a Reds win against the Braves. Or 3 wins against the Braves. YEAH BABY. Up next: Juan Carlos Sulbaran (2-3, 4.57 ERA) tries not to clog up the bases against Mississippi at 8:00.
  
• Bakersfield was off Wednesday as the grounds crew at Sam Lynn Ballpark fought wildfires that had caught on the infield grass due to a particularly spirited Billy Hamilton baserunning drill. Naturally, Donald Lutz brought some bratwurst und frankfurters and the team had themselves eine kleine BBQ. Up next: San Jose heads to town, only to be met by Tony Cingrani the Strikeout Swami, who boasts a mythical 6.5 K/BB ratio, at 10:30 ET.
  
• Dayton scored eight runs against the Lugnuts!! Unfortunately, the bullpen. Carlos Contreras, who has actually pitched admirably up until Wednesday, blew a 3-run lead to let Lansing walk off with a 9-8 win. Despite exploding for 5 runs in their half of the eighth thanks to doubles from Comrades Josef Terry, Ryan Wright, and Sean Buckley (all of whom had multi-hit days). Don't look now, but Wright is 13 for his last 24 and is now hitting .303 on the season. The Dragons' bullpen combined to give up all 8 earned runs, with starter Jacob Johnson only surrendering an unearned run in his 5 innings of work. He's looked pretty good in his limited time back. Every Dayton starter had multiple hits save the bookends of the lineup, as leadoff man Juan Perez went 0-5, and nine-holer Brandon Dailey had just an RBI single. Most other days, that'd be star-of-the-game worthy considering the way this team's been hitting. Up next: More Lugnutting as Dan Jensen (2-3, 2.43) looks to even his record against Lansing at 7:05.
  

• Louisville was shut out by Dave Bush (yup, that Dave Bush) and the Lehigh Valley IronPigs 2-0. Bush went the distance, giving up just 5 hits, two of which came from newly promoted Cody "Not Related to Kirby" Puckett. The diminutive outfielder has had a semi-respectable OPS his whole minor league career, and is 6-17 since joining the Bats. It'd be nice if he walked more, but he could conceivably be a 4th or 5th OFer for someone. The other 3 Louisville hits came from Mike the Red (Miguel Rojas), Bill Rhinehart, and Danny Dorn. Despite walking 6, Brett Tomko went 7 strong only giving up a run on 4 hits. Up next: The Bats are off Wednesday, but begin a series in Indianapolis on Thursday at 7:05.
• Pensacola was off Tuesday. Up next: Tim Gustafson (2-0, 4.05 ERA) takes the hill in a new series against Mississippi at home at 8 ET.
• Bakersfield whupped up on Visalia, walloping 19 hits en route to a 14-6 victory. Billy Hamilton was tired of slumping, so he got on base 4 times (2B, 1Bx2, BB) and stole 2 more bags. Devin Lohman was the Hi-man on the totem pole, honkling two wangerdoodles as part of a 6 RBI night. Every Bakersfield starter had a hit in this game, including Tucker Barnhart, who went 2-5 with a double. He's not hitting for much power, but he's brought his OBP all the way back up to .340, and has reached base in 8 of his last 10 contests. Juan Duran was hungry like the wolf, going 3-5 with 4 RBIs. Señor Boring Name (of the Josh Smith variety) pitched well enough, going 6 and 1/3 innings, giving up 4 runs (3 earned) on 5 hits. Up next: The Blaze are off Wednesday as well, but start a new series on Thursday at home against San Jose.
• Dayton was off as well on Tuesday as the Dragons basked in the elusive glow of a win. Up next: Jacob Johnson (0-0, 1.80 ERA) heads to Lansing with the Dragons to take on Lansing.

Apologies for the lateness, angeeh Farmers Only readers! Some unexpected inconveniences with the ol' Weez tractor last evening. No, that's not a euphemism. Yes, it's bad writing.

• Louisville beat Crotchester 4-2 behind some solid hurling by Brett Tomko, who went six innings, giving up 2 runs. I'm kind of surprised he's stuck around so long, but he's mediocring his way through the year with games like this, and his 3.78 FIP probably means he'll be around some more. Corky Miller stached himself a 2-4 evening off of his former battery mate, Daryl Thompson. Cody Puckett started his AAA career off with a bang, slapping 3 singles in his Bats debut. Up next: Jeff Francis (2-4, 4.17 ERA) takes on Rochester at 7:05.
• Pensacola gave up a walk-off 3-run shromper served up by Curtis Partch in the bottom of the ninth to lose to Jacksonville, 8-5. J.C. Sulbaran got Dutched up for 5 runs in 4 innings, and couldn't find his control, walking 4. David Vidal went all Yorman in the game, going 0-5 with 4Ks. He's 0-12 with 6 Ks and no walks so far as a Wahoo. The good news is that Didi is hitting again, as the gregarious Gregorius went 2-5 with a double and his first steal of the year. He's starting to hit for a bit of gap power, which is nice to see, so hopefully he doesn't try to stray from his comfort zone too much. Up next: Tim Gustafson (1-0, 4.55 ERA) takes on JAX at 7:05.
• Bakersfield lost a nail-biter to Lake Woebegon Lake Elsinore, 3-2. Sir Quix-a-Lot went 0-5, but still managed to steal his 39th base of the year and score a run. Fret not, he's still hitting .329 on the year. Theo Bowe is tearing up the California desert, as he went 2-4 and is now 7-12 as a Blaze (??), with 2 HRs. The Cal League, everybody. Josh "Boring Name" Smith went six strong innings, giving up just one run and struck out 9, but Jamie Wal--uh, Jamie Walzc--mm, Jamie Wal-notgunnaworkhere (Jamie Walczak) blew it, giving up 2 runs in 2 innings. Devin Lohman and Bryson Smith also had two hits each. Up next: Tony Cingrani (4-1, 0.68 ERA) looks to continue cuttin' fools against Lake Elsinore at 10:05 ET.
• Dayton scored 4 runs last night!! Unfortunately, the sucking. They still lost to Bowling Green 5-4. Poojols' boy Jacob Johnson made a decent return to professional ball, tossing 5 innings of 3-hit, 1-run ball before getting pulled with a 2-1 lead. James "Lily" Allen promptly gave up a 3-run doober, and the Hot Rods never checked their rear-view mirror (sorry). Yovan Gonzalez and Kyle Waldrop had 2 hits apiece, the former a lone wanger and the latter 2 doubles. Up next: Dan Jensen (1-3, 2.28 ERA) takes on the Hot Rods at 8:05 eastern.

• Louisville fell to Rochester 5-4, despite a homer by Bumpin' Bill Rhinehart and a quality start from Pedro Villareal (that was blown by Nick Christiani). The Texan hurler went six and two-thirds, giving up 3 runs on 9 hits, striking out 2 and walking none. Villareal has proven to be a welcome addition to a mostly uninspiring Louisville club, and I'm looking forward to seeing how he performs the rest of the year. If he continues to pitch well, there's a chance he could see a spot start down the road, depending on health and how the front office responds to invented blog hashtag campaigns. Miguel Rojas had 2 hits as the SS, and I think he's another exciting Bat to keep an eye on. Up next: Chad Reineke (1-2, 3.96 ERA) faces cRochester at 7:05.
• Pensacola won a pitcher's duel against Birmingham, coming out on top, 2-0. Despite being outhit 6-4, the Wahoos rode 7 scoreless innings from Tim Crabbe, who gave up just 6 hits, while walking and striking out 4. Curtis Partch and Donnie Joseph combined to strike out 5 in two perfect innings. DoJo has five-finger death punched his way to a positively Chapmanic line so far, with a 30 to 4 K:BB ratio in 20 innings in 2012. Thank you sir may I have another! The Hellflower pinch-wanged a bongalong to account for both Wahoo runs. Up next: The 'Hoos are off tomorrow, and travel to Jacksonville to kick off a series on Thursday.
• Bakersfield swept a doubleheader against Stockton, winning 2-1 and 6-1. Bryson Smith paced the Blaze in the first game, going 2-3 with a homer, while Jamie Walczak poached a win from Daniel Renkin' Ball, tossing 2 scoreless innings to close it out. Juan Duran also Durangoed a solo homer. While the 2-1 win was impressive, the second game featured another Billy Hamilton XBH-fest, as the Human Hadron Collider had a double and a triple with 3 RBI. That's his 7th tri-bagger of the year, by the way. Sluggin' Theo Bowe hit a home run, which was kind of weird. Maybe he's trying to shift the competition with Billy to homers? I dunno. Pat Doyle almost pitched 6 perfect innings, giving up just a first-inning single. Up next: More Stockton action at 10:30 PM eastern, no starters announced yet.
• Dayton was on the wrong end of another low-scoring game, losing 2-1 to Lansing. Catcher Yovan Gonzalez was ejected in the fourth inning, and Tanner Robles followed suit shortly thereafter. Apparently Bob Davidson umps Midwest League games. Dayton outhit the Ludwicks Lugnuts 7-5, but went just 1-10 with RISP. Positively 2011 Reds-esque. Juan Silva was the only Dragon with multiple hits, whopping 2 singles. Kyle McMyne, Lucas O'Rear, and Carlos Contreras finished out the game without giving up a run. This Dayton offense is putrid, but fortunately, the pitching. Well, not fortunately enough, since they keep losing. Up next: The Dragons head to Bowling Green to take on the Hot Rods at 7:35. Stalin "Gina" Gerson (1-3, 4.66 ERA) takes the mound.
  

• Louisville did its best to cough up the lead, but held on to beat the Tides 6-5. In his first start at AAA, Pedro Villareal gave up 5 runs on 6 hits, though just 2 runs were earned due to a fielding error by the non-awesome Cuban in the organization, Felix Perez (he also went 0-3. #Don'tLetHimStart). Buffalo Bill Rhinehart schblonged a fluger of the solo variety, and Mike Costanzo -- the guy who killed Hitler and punched the creators Don't Trust the B in Apartment 23 in the face -- went 1-3 with an RBI as well. Chris Valaika slapped 2 singles in 4 ABs, but it doesn't really matter because it's Chris Valaika. Up next: Chad Reineke (1-1, 4.13 ERA) faces the Tides at 6:35 at Louisville Slugger Field.
• Pensacola lost to Mississippi 5-3, as Clayton Tanner and Drew Hayes Mays spoiled a great start from Daniel Corcino. Cuetinho went 6 IP, giving up 2 runs on 6 hits, striking out 7 and walking one. The second run was allowed to score by Tanner, who failed to record an out in relief of Corcino in the 7th, getting tagged with the loss. He got a taste of his own medicine, though, as Drew Hayes #poopsocksed a blown save in relief). Ryan LaMarre Kardashian went 3-3 with a double and 2 RBIs out of the leadoff spot, and he has now hit safely in 8 of his last 9 games. WHOOP! Sure would be nice if he kept that up, eh? Didi Gregorius had another 0-fer, and still has only 1 XBH to his name this year. He's walking and making contact, though, so I'm not worried yet. Up next: The Wahoos hand the ball to Tim Crabbe (1-2, 5.72 ERA) against the Braves in primetime, baby! 8 ET.
  
• Bakersfield beat Lancaster 7-4, behind a 4 RBI day from...Bryson Smith?!? Last season's 34th round pick (!!) went 2-3 playing CF, despite being a ginger. He's OPSing a respectable .760 on the year. Starter Daniel Renken left the game with an injury in the 3rd after giving up 2 runs. Tucker Barnhart went 2-4 with 2 RBI, and now has 4 multi-hit games in his last 6, bringing his average above the Mendoza Rolen line for the year. Billy Hamilton is back, and went 2-5 with a steal, bringing his total to 32. Thirty-freakin-two. That's ten less stolen bases than Ryan Ludwick, Scott Rolen, and Chris Heisey have hits. COMBINED. That's 18 more than the Reds have as a team. Da-yum. Up next: The Blaze take on David Lynch's incomprehensible mini-DV opus Inland Empire at 10:05 ET. Griffey Sr. has yet to announce a starter.
  
• Dayton lost again, 4-1, to Lake County. They scored only 1 run, again. No Dragon had more than 1 hit. Again. Holy Costanzo, this team is not awesomecornballers. Dragons starter Daniel Tuttle got tossed in second inning after walking back-to-back Captains, which was just about the worst possible thing he could do, considering his team was like, 17 hours removed from 23 innings of baseball. James Allen filled in admirably, giving up just 1 run on 2 hits in 4.2 innings. I can only assume he'll never be the same after this outing and will get overpaid by the Dodgers at some point in the near future. Theo Bowe went 1-2 with a walk out of the 9th spot, and stole his 12th base of the year. It's pretty safe to say that he's in way over his head in this SB bet with Sir Quix-a-Lot. Up next: Game two against Lake County is at 6:30. The Dragons will hand the ball to Tanner Robles (2-1, 2.67 ERA)

• Louisville lost to Norfolk 11-4, despite only garnering 3 less hits. Sean Gallagher went 5 innings, giving up 5 runs on 5 hits, a 5 dollar footlong, and 5 gold rings. Jordan Smith pulled his best Mike Lincoln impression, giving up 4 runs (3 earned) in an inning of work. Future savior of mankind and son of God Mike Costanzo went 2-4 with 2 doubles and 2 RBI, and none of the other Bats had multiple hits. Corky Miller went 1-4 and cured mustache cancer, by the way. Up next: Newly be-Batted Pedro Villareal makes his first start for the 'Ville against the Tides at 11:05 ET.
• Pensacola lost a rain-shortened, 7 inning affair against the Mississippi Braves, 3-1. Newly be-Wahooed Kyle Lotzkar had a solid AA debut, going 6 strong innings, giving up 3 runs (2 earned) on 5 hits, with 3 walks and 2 Ks. A good start for the oft-injured, second-best Canadian in the organization. As with the Bats, only 1 Wahoo had multiple hits, and that was Brodie "Thanks For the Push Ahman" Greene. All 6 of the Wahoo hits were singles, and 11 of the 12 hits in the game were of the one-bag variety. For the record, Mississippi has someone named Ian "Nickelodeon" Gac on its roster (he went 0-3). I thought that was cool. Up next: Daniel Corcino (2-1, 2.61 ERA) takes on Mississippi at high noon.
• Bakersfield beat Lancaster in a close one, 3-2. Justice French defeated incumbent Nicolas Sarkozy pitched 6 shutout innings, giving up 2 hits and 2 walks while striking out 4. Kaiser Knockwurst gebongened a solo schwangerstugel in the top of the ninth (his tenth of the year) to give the Blaze the lead for good, though it was his only hit of the night. Billy Hamilton was a rare non-factor in the game, going 0-4 with no steals. That was nice of him. Andrew "Double Rainbow, What Does It" Means went 2-3 out of the major league catcher's spot (that would be eighth) to pace the offense, knocking in the other two runs with his seventh-inning single. David Vidal, who also singled in the seventh (and came around to score on Means' hit), has hit safely in seven of his last eight, and is OPS'ing .941 on the year. Oh, and he's 14.5 years younger than Scott Rolen. Up next: Daniel Renken (3-1, 4.64 ERA) takes on Lancaster at 10:00 ET.
• Dayton improbably played both games of their doubleheader with Fort Wayne, splitting it. They were mercifully put down in the 15th (that's 8 full innings of extra baseball) of the first game, losing 3-1 after blog favorite El'Hajj Muhammad gave up 2 runs in his third inning of work after Dan Jensen, Ryan Kemp, Carlos Contreras, and Ryan Kiel combined to hold the TinCaps to 1 unearned run over 12 frames. The Dragons' pathetic offense couldn't get much going, as Steve "Accountant" Selsky was the only batter with multiple hits. They won the second game 4-2 behind another solid performance from The Accountant, who hit a 2-run squiggity-squanger to bring his RBI total for the day to 3. Rowdy Radhamas Quezada continued his solid season, going 5 innings and giving up just 1 earned run on 4 hits with 6 Ks, though he did walk 4. Up next: Daniel Tuttle (1-1, 2.55 ERA) takes on Lake County at 6:30 ET.

• Louisville won in 11 innings on a home run by Neftali Soto in the top of the 11th. The wanger was just his third in 106 ABs, after he hit 31 in 396 ABs a year ago. Hey, still a better pace than Pujols! Smilin' Bill Rhinehart had his second solid game in a row, going 3-5 with a double and a run batted in. Sean Gallagher had a decent day, giving up 3 runs on 5 hits in 7 innings, walking two and striking out six. Travis Webb snagged the win, pitching 2 perfect innings. Up next: Chad Reineke (1-0 ,3.58 ERA) takes on Durham again at 7:05.
• Pensacola split a home doubleheader (two 7 inning games) with Jackson, the latter of which saw Daniel Corcino (6 IP 3H 0R 3 BB 4K) best the much ballyhooed Mariners prospect Taijuan Walker (5.2 IP 5H 1R 0ER 2BB 2K) on an RBI single from Brodie Greene in the penultimate 6th inning. It was quite the pitcher's duel, as all 8 combined hits were singles. Pedro Villareal gave up 3 earned runs in six innings to take the loss in the first game, losing to equally ballyhooed Mariners farmhand James Paxton, who also gave up just an unearned run. Henry Rodriguez had two of the Wahoos 3 hits, with Ryan LaMarre rounding out the trio. Up next: The schedule somehow says Walker is taking on Corcino tomorrow, so I'm not really sure what's going on there...unless Nolan Ryan went all "pitch-counts-are-for-sissy-boys" on the Southern League.
• Bakersfield succumbed to Lancaster's seventh inning rally, losing 8-6. More of the same from Billy Hamilton, as he went 2-5 and stole his 31st base (he was also caught stealing, the seventh time that's happened). This kid is so crazy fast, and yet he makes it seem so quotidian (shout out to my homeboy Roger Weber for some bomb-ass SAT prep in two-thousand-threezy). David Vidal is still crushin' it too, as he went 2-3 with a three-run homer. Kyle Lotzkar had a rough start, giving up 5 runs (4 earned) in just 4 2/3 innings, though he did strike out 6 to just 1 walk, and it is the Cal League after all. Some guy I've never heard of who sounds like a chemist in a Sherlock Holmes story--Josef Terry--DH'd and hit second, going 1-5 with an RBI. Juan Duran also had a bing-bonger in the game. Up next: Daniel Renken (3-1, 5.14 ERA) takes on the Modesto Nuts tomorrow. Yep. That's their name. Game's at 10:15 PM EST.
• Dayton also played extras, but fell to Lake County, 5-4, after Kyle McMyne followed up a scoreless ninth by allowing the go-ahead homer. He's now given up runs in 3 of his last 4 appearances, after starting the year with 5 scoreless. Rowdy Rad Quezada gave up 2 runs (1 ER) in 6 four-hit innings, and he's yet to give up more than 3 ERs in any of his 6 starts so far this year. Juan Silva (3-5) and Steven Selsky (2-5), each with a run scored, paced the offense, while recovering Cardinal Ryan Wright singled and stole a base. Up next: The 12-15 Dragons take on Lake County at 7:05 eastern. Daniel "Smorgasbord" Tuttle (1-0, 1.54) gets the start.
  

So I saw Cabin in the Woods tonight. It is so insanely nuts. Just...nuts. On to the games! Nuts.

• Louisville lost in ten to Durham, 5-4. Four Bats had 2 hits each, including Corky Miller and Kris Negron, the latter of whom had a triple and a ninth inning homer to tie the game at 4 apiece. Brett Tomko started and promptly Brett Tomkoed all over the place. Sadly, Mrs. Scrabbles Josh Judy couldn't hold the Bulls by the horns, and promptly gave up an RBI single in the tenth after Durham played some smawl bawl. Judy has pitched pretty well overall this year, but didn't seem to have his stuff tonight. Up next: More Bull fighting at 11:05 am, with starters not yet announced as of press time.
• Pensacola also played ten innings, but came out on the winning side, beating Jackson 5-4 on a walkoff single by Cody Puckett, who had himself a nice little night, going 3-4 with a home run and 3 RBI. Newly acquired douchenozzle Koyie Hill (he's a former Cub, I am obligated to say that. It's in the Red Reporter contract I signed) went 2-5 with a double and an RBI, and Hank-Rod had 2 singles and a walk as well. Tim Gustafson combined with Wirfin "Chubby Bunny" Obispo, Justin Freeman, and Donnie Joseph to give up 4 earned runs, except all of those runs were given up in the first 4 innings by Gustafson, so that's not really a fair thing to say at all. DoJo is sporting a Chapman-esque stat line in 2012, having pitched 12 innings, giving up no runs and just 7 hits, with 16 Ks to only 3 walks. #LetHimStartPitchInLouisville. Up next: The Wahoos take on Jackson again at 8 ET, starters TBD.
• Bakersfield rallied for 3 runs in the bottom of the ninth, but must have miscounted because they still lost to Lancaster, 5-4. Billy Hamilton DID NOT STEAL A BASE!!!!! He merely went 2-4 with a double (and his 8th error on the year...hmm). Sir Quix-a-Lot is now hitting .402 on the season. Nuts. Andrew Means was the only other Bakersfield player with multiple hits (Lutz and the Tantrums were a one-hit-wonder), and Tucker Barnhart and Yorman Rodriguez combined to go 0-6, though with only 1 strike out (Barnhart). Josh Smith started and lasted 5 innings, giving up 3 runs on 5 hits and 4 walks, striking out 4 as well. Up next: The Blaze take on the JetHawks again, with a 10:15 ET first pitch. Whoever is in charge of announcing minor league starters must have been at Occupy Wall Street today, because nobody is announced to pitch for any of the minor league affiliates.
• Dayton was off today, but Justice Freedom (3-1, 2.60 ERA) takes on Lake County tomorrow at 7 ET. Cuz this is 'Merica. Osama's dead.
  

• Louisville lost to Toledo 5-3. Andrew Brackman was tagged for 5 runs on 5 hits in 5.2 innings, walking 3 and striking out 6. Perhaps it's time for him to head for the pen? With LeCure struggling, Bray and Masset disabled (or do they prefer physically challenged?), and Alfredo Simon existing, the more effective relievers we have, the better. That's not to say it's a given that Brackman will be an effective reliever, but it's at least more likely. Anyway, Danny Dorn and Chris Valaika were the only Bats with an XBH (a HR and a 3B, respectively), and no one had more than 1 hit. Up next: Brett Tomko (0-2, 3.68 ERA) takes on Indian-no-place at 11:05 in the morning because why the hell not, right?
• Pensacola lost to the Biscuits (I'll never get tired of that name) 7-4, thanks to a rough outing from J.C. Sulbaran. The young righty followed up an 11 K performance last time out with a 7 ER stinker in 4.2 innings, striking out only 3 to 4 BB. None of the Wahoo bats had more than 1 hit either, though Brodie Greene had a walk and an RBI double, and Hank-Rod followed suit with a walk and an RBI single. The only really exciting thing that happened was first baseman Joel Guzman being ejected in the third after he struck out swinging. Hmm. Miguel Rojas filled in admirably, going 1-3 with a run scored. Up next: The Wahoos head to Jacksonville, handing the ball to Pedro Villareal (1-1, 2.22 ERA) at 7:05. Yes, that's 7:05 pm.
• Bakersfield built on their win streak, beating Stockton 6-4. Billy Hamilton went 2-5, and hit another triple and stole a base. Yawn. The Knockwurst continued to make good on his promise to "tear it up in Bakersfield," going 3-5 with a double and 2 runs scored, while David Vidal Gored the opposing pitchers, knocking a double and stealing 2 bases en route to a 2-4 night. Josh Smith struck out 9 Ports in 5.2 innings of work, giving up 3 runs on 7 hits. Not too shabby for the Cal League, especially considering he only walked 1. Travis "Air" Mattair homered in the sixth to add some run support. Oh, and Yorman Rodriguez went 0-5 with 5 strikeouts. Yikes. Up next: The Blaze look to extend their win streak, with Bonny Prince Tony Cingrani (1-1, 0.53 ERA) taking on Stockton at 10:05 pm ET.
  
• Dayton won a 3-2 nail biter against Cedar Rapids, behind a strong start from Tanner "Paso" Robles (6 IP, 2 H, 1 ER, 1 BB, 4 K) and a 3-3 performance from everyone's favorite ex-Cardinal Ryan Wright, who hit 2 triples. Theo Bowe isn't making it easy on himself in his quest to match Billy Hamilton, hitting only .196 on the year, but he reached base twice and did steal a base, bringing his season total to 9, or ten less than Sir Quix-a-Lot's total. Kyle McMyne gave up his first run of the year, but Carlos Contreras got out of a man-on-third and one out jam with a K and a groundout to earn the save and secure the win for the Dragons. Up next: The Dragons kick off a six game road trip at 7:35 ET, with Stalin Gerson (1-1, 3.78 ERA) taking on the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers (really?).

• Louisville beat (!!) Toledo 4-2 behind six strong innings from Chad Reineke (I know, right?), who gave up just an unearned run on 4 hits with 3 walks and 4 Ks. Paul "Bunyan" Janish went 2-3 with 2 doubles, 2 runs, an RBI, and a big blue ox. Neftali Soto and Dioner Navarro had two hits apiece, the latter being responsible for 2 of the runs batted in. Whither Corky Miller? Jordan Smith went all Matt Capps, getting his first save of the season despite giving up a run. Up next: Andrew Brackman (1-2, 9.28 ERA) is apparently still in the rotation, and he takes on Indianapolis at 7:05 pm.
• Pensacola whupped the Biscuits 10-4 behind 3 hits and 2 RBIs from Cody Puckett, and a pair of doubles and a walk from Ryan LaMarre out of the leadoff spot. LaMarre has hit safely in 8 of his last 9 games--and six straight--and has really stepped it up after a slow start. Tim Crabbe went six decent innings, giving up 3 runs on 5 hits with 3 strikeouts and 2 walks. DatDudeDidi had two hits, 2 walks, and 2 runs, and is now 25-64 on the year. The contact is awesomeclogs, but all 25 of those hits have been singles. Neither the lack of power nor the absurd contact rate will last, but it's really awesome that his bat is active and effective. Up next: J.C. Sulbaran (1-1, 2.65 ERA) looks to do some more Biscuit-whuppin' in the ever-popular 11:35 am game.
• Bakersfield won their seventh game in a row, 6-5, against Stockton thanks in part to a two-homer day for David Vidal, who is OPSing a robust .857 on the year. Chad Rogers started, giving up a single run on 6 hits, walking none and striking out 3. John Holdzkom and Pat Doyle almost coughed up the lead, but Brian Pearl locked it down in the ninth for his fourth save. Billy Hamilton had a pretty productive 0-4 performance, drawing a walk and still managing to steal 2 bases, bringing his season total to 18. Jeez. Donald Lutz doppelbocked his fourth HR of the year to start the Blaze scoring, and, hey, Yorman Rodriguez walked! Up next: The Blaze take on Stockton again tomorrow at 10:05 pm ET. Starters have yet to be announced.
• Dayton's bats erupted for 8 runs on 12 hits in an 8-3 win over Cedar Rapids at Fifth Third Field. Hey! All 4 affiliates won! Party on, Garth. Juan Perez went 3-4 with a walk and a steal, and the bottom third of the order (Kyle Waldrop, Junior Arias, and Yovan Gonzalez) all had two hits each. Daniel "Thundering" Tuttle pitched 6 solid innings, but Dan Jensen got the win after pitching 2 scoreless innings as the Dragons plated five guys (mmm...burgers) in the 7th. Up next: Tanner Robles (1-0, 3.06 ERA) faces Cedar Rapids at 7:35.

• Louisville traded 6 run innings with Toledo, but still ended up losing 13-9. Despite the 4 run differential, the Bats were outhit by the Mud Hens 21-9, though they did draw 7 more walks. Chad Reineke started and had a WHIP of 3 when he left after 5 innings, and Jordan Smith, fresh off the DL, pushed his ERA into 3 digits with 0.1 innings of work. Sounds like he's ready to be called up. The lone bright spot of the Bats pitchers was Josh Judy, who pitched a scoreless ninth. He and JJ Hoover have looked pretty good at the back end of that Louisville pen. Neftali Soto has his first multi-hit game of the year, going 3-4 with his second homer in as many nights. Future Mrs. Crolfer Mike Costanzo also had a 3-run HR, but that was his only hit. Every Bat reached base at least twice, save for Denis Phipps, who contributed only an RBI double. Up next: Andrew Brackman (0-1, 8.10 ERA) takes on Toledo at 6:35 ET.
• Pensacola lost a close one to Jacksonville, 8-7. After tying it in the 7th on homers by Ryan LaMarre (who also had a triple) and Joel Guzman, Drew Hayes promptly gave up the lead a half inning later. The Wahoos threatened in the bottom of the ninth, but could only squeeze one run across before pinch hitter Mark "Hockey Name" Fleury struck out to end the game, despite a battle of an AB. Didi Gregorius was 4-5, and has now hit safely in eight of his last ten games. We all know he can flash the leather, but it's nice to see him crushing the ball too. Tim "Ten Points from Slytherin" Crabbe went 5 innings, surrendering 4 runs on 3 hits and 4 walks, striking out 7 in the process. Up next: J.C. Sulbaran (1-0, 1.64 ERA) looks to continue his resurgence against Jacksonville at 8:00 ET.
  
• And Billy continues to hit in Bakersfield. The Platonic ideal of speed didn't steal any bases today, but he did go 2-5 (double, triple) in a 6-4 Blaze win over Visalia. Does it like they've played Visalia like, the last 9 games to anyone else? Anyway, as soon as I call for Yorman Rodriguez to be sent back to Little League, he has a 3-4 day with a double and 2 runs scored. A small but welcome rebound. Bryson Smith and Doppel Donald Lutz also had two hits apiece, and the latter flashed some wheels, stealing his first base of the year. Chad Rogers started and had a 7 K:BB ratio in 5.1 innings, though Visalia made their hits count, still tagging him for 3 runs, all earned...Welcome to the Cal League. Daniel Wolford and Wilkin De La Rosa combined for 2 scoreless innings of relief, with the latter getting the save after retiring the final batter of the game. Up next: TBD takes on TBD of the San Jose Giants at 10:15 ET.
  
• Dayton whupped Fort Wayne 9-4 thanks in part to a 3-run bomb from Junior Arias, his first XBH of the year. He still doesn't have a multi-hit game, however, and is OPSing a Yorman-esque .342 (ed note: that dwarfs Yorman's .276 OPS). Theo Bowe did his best not to let Billy Hamilton pull away too much in their SB competition, swiping 2 bags as part of a 3-5 night, bringing his season total to 8. The fact that he's still only a handful of steals behind Sir Quix-a-Lot despite the latter having almost double the batting average is worth mentioning. Catcher Yovan Gonzalez continued his hot start, going 2-4 with his second homer of the year. I'm not reading too much into his stats yet, as he doesn't have much of a track record. Tanner Robles started for the Dragons, turning in a very Homer Bailey-ish line of 5.2 innings, 9 H, 4 ER, 1 BB, and 5 K. Up next: Stalin "Gina" Gerson (1-1, 3.48 ERA) toes the rubber against Quad Cities at 7:00 ET.
• Kevin Mitchell is Batman kicked cynicism right in the wee-wee last night as well, in this fantastic recap of last night's miserable light. Preach it, my hoppy brother! If you didn't feel like reading it last night, for whatever reason, do yourself a favor and read it today. It's worth it, and I think that what he says is important.

• Louisville lost another heartbreaker 9-7 in extras to Toledo after the Mud Hens scored 3 runs on 3 hits and 3 walks in the top of the tenth off of Scott Carroll. Dioner Navarro told the Mud Hens to suck it, going 4-4 (all singles) with a walk and 2 RBI. Chris Valaika continued his hot streak, going 3-6 with a double. Every Bats pitcher gave up runs save for Carlos Fisher, who pitched 1.1 innings of no hit, 2 walk, 2 K ball. Neftali Soto hit a bomb in the 3rd, and Juan Perez nailed Jerad Head at the plate in the 4th, but this game was just kind of a bummer otherwise.
  
• Pensacola was burnt to a crisp by the Jacksonville Suns, losing 7-0. Daniel Corcino didn't have his best stuff, giving up 5 runs (two earned) in 4.1 innings with 4 walks and 3 Ks. 4 Wahoo errors, two by Corcino himself, and 7 walks allowed didn't help their cause, but the bats were also blinded by the Suns' Zach Neal, who went 7 strong innings. The Wahoos had no extra base hits (7 singles, 3 by Yordanys Perez), and all 3 of their pitchers were scored-upon, as Mark Serrano and Chris Manno gave up a run-o each-o in 2.2 and 1 innings of work, respectively. All in all, a pretty weak showing.
• Bakersfield beat Visalia 8-5 no thanks to Yorman Rodriguez, who went 0-4 with 3 strikeouts. The young Venezuelan has now struck out in almost half (18) of his 39 ABs so far this season, and I wouldn't be surprised to see him sent back to Billings once their season gets underway if he continues to struggle. He is still a teenager, after all. On the plus side, Sir Quix-a-Lot stole his 11th base of the young season (Baby Got Bags?), while going 2-5 with 3 runs scored. It's a lot of fun to follow Billy Hamilton, and I hope he sticks around. The Blaze got homers from Travis "Moose" Mattair and Bryson Smith, along with 3 hits from Devin Lohman, and 2 from David Vidal, who also stole his first base of the year. John Holdzkom started and pitched 3 innings of no hit, 4 BB ball before being pulled. Brian Pearl locked up his second save with 1.1 pristine innings.
• Dayton stayed true to organizational form by losing to Fort Wayne, 4-1. The Dragons did their best Reds impression, stranding a staggering 15 runners while batting 0-11 with RISP. Their only run came via a bases loaded walk drawn by the other Juan Perez (who went 1-3 in the game with two walks) in the top of the sixth. Brandon Dailey (3-4) and Danny Vicioso (2-4) were the only two firebreathers with multi-hit games. Starter Rad Quezada (I've decided we should shorten Radhames to Rad because that's totally rad) snapped a personal 12 inning scoreless streak in the fourth, and left after the inning after giving up 6 hits, 3 earned runs, and a pair of walks and strikeouts. The big league team could learn a bit of patience from the Dragons, who did draw 7 free passes in the game. Kyle McMyne pitched a scoreless ninth, and has yet to give up a run this season. He was one of the Blazers we saw pitch at Spring Training, and he did look pretty good, so perhaps he's someone to keep an eye on. Moving forward.

The Reds are losing 1-0 in the top of the 6th. In other news, water is wet.

• Louisville was shut out 4-0 by Fu-Te Ni and the To-Le Do Mud Hens. Newly be-Batted Luis Atilano was drilled in 2.1 innings of work, giving up all 4 runs on 5 hits and 2 walks. Kanekoa Texeira, Carlos Fisher, and Scott Carroll pitched the remainder of the game yielding a combined 3 hits, 4 walks, and 6 Ks among them. The few Bats who brought their bats are all members of the No Upside Club, as Chris Valaika and Paul Janish both went 2-4. Neftali Soto did draw two walks, which is a good sign. I don't know why I'm even bothering to report this since BubbaFan has already done so in the Recap thread... Next up: Highly touted prospect TBD takes on Toledo tomorrow at 6:30.
  
• Pensacola lost 3-2 to Mobile on a walk off sacrifice foul out (wtf) by presumed Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce employee Ed Easley. Every Wahoo got a hit, save our beloved DiDi, who went 0 for 5. Cody Puckett was the only player with multiple hits (2 for 4), though future Hall of Famer Mike Costanzo did hit a two-run home run to tie the game in the sixth. Curtis "Beer Me, I'm" Partch was skunked for 10 hits in 4 1/3 innings, though he seemed to mitigate the damage well enough by only giving up 2 runs, despite a WHIP over 3. Drew Hayes got the loss. Next up: Lil Cueto takes on Mobile at 8:05.
  
• Bakersfield was improbably rained out, making them the only minor league affiliate scheduled to play a game that didn't lose. They will play at San Jose tomorrow at 10:00 ET.
• Dayton was screwed by the Lugnuts of Lansing for the third straight game, losing 7-4. "Scales of" Justice French followed up a filthy first outing with a stinky second outing, surrendering 5 runs (4 earned) on 5 hits over 4 innings of work. After striking out 8 in his first start, he only managed 2 Ks to go along with 2 walks. Yovan Gonzalez went 3-4 with a two-run homer, and Steven Selsky was the only other dragon with an extra-base hit (a double) while going 2-4. Next up: Radhames Quezada takes on South Bend at 7:05.

After learning about mustache upside and Fay's hypothetical coaching style in the first installment, it's time to wrap up Red Reporter's little foray into meta-journalism. Just want to reiterate how much we appreciate John Fay's time and willingness to do this. Much obliged, Mr. Fay!

Without further ado, here's more Real Talk with Uncle Fay (TM), after the jump!

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Joey Votto may only have John Fay to answer to, but that doesn't mean Mr. Fay is off the hook...

Continuing to roll out content at a Corky Miller-stealing-secondian pace, the cracked out reporting team of Red Reporters who went to Spring Training (myself, -ManBearPig, and Kevin Mitchell is Batman) met up with an idol of ours: the inimitable John Fay, tireless beat writer for the Cincinnati Enquirer.

After furtively trying to meet up with him for an interview, and several emails, we were thrown a nasty changeup when news of Ryan Madson's TJ surgery broke, and The Fay had to run off to pepper Jocketty and Dusty with questions about it. Luckily for us, John Fay is a really good dude, and went out of his way to find time for us to interview him outside of Goodyear Ballpark (which wouldn't let us in for free, even in the 8th inning. Draconian I say!). I can't stress enough how much we appreciated his time, patience, and willingness to hang with us for a bit. For all the flack he takes, he is an awesome guy and deserves more credit than he gets.

Anyway, we asked him several questions, spanning the vast spectrum of inanity (OK, a few baseball questions too...), and after the jump, you will find the first of two installments.

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• Louisville beat Columbus 5-4 in the Bats' road opener behind a laser show from notorious slugger Paul "Do It To" Janish and his two HRs. Jeff Francis gave up 2 earned runs on 7 hits over six innings, enough to get the win. Nick Christiani gave up 2 unearned runs due to a Daryl Jones error, but Jones negated one of those by gunning down top prospect and Matt Christropher character Lonnie Chisenhall at home plate. Denis Phipps got in on the OF assist action too, gunning down another runner at the plate. Brand new Red J.J. Hoover sucked up a save with a scoreless ninth, striking out two. Chris Valaika and Danny Dorn both went yard as well, with homers accounting for all 5 Bat runs.
• Pensacola opens their season tomorrow at home against the awesomely named Montgomery Biscuits, the AA affiliate of the Rays.
• Bakersfield won 3-1 against the Vidalia Onions Visalia Rawhide. Following in AAA slugger Paul Janish's footsteps, top Reds power prospect Billy Hamilton slugged a homer in the 3rd, while the speedy Knockwurst was improbably caught stealing. Daniel Renken got the start, and went 5 innings, giving up only an unearned run on 5 hits, striking out 5 and walking 2.
  
• Dayton shut out West Michigan 3-0 behind six filthy innings from "Hammer of" Justice French, over which he struck out 8 Whitecaps, walking only 2 and giving up 2 hits. Juan Perez hit 2 triples, while DH Stephen Selsky added 3 singles. Blog favorite Sean Buckley, playing 1B, went hitless.
• Billings doesn't start their season til June.

Bakersfield is like that girl you date for 2 weeks after your girlfriend of 3 years dumps you: hot (average July temperature of 97.8 degrees), distant (2,206 miles from Great American to Sam Lynn Ballpark in Bakersfield), and totally crazy (a team scored 15+ runs twice as many times as they were shut out. Also...games like this).

You'll see a lot of familiar faces in Bako* this year, as a large chunk of the better players from last year's Dayton Dragons roster have been promoted. Let's take a look, after the jump!

via unclebobsballparks62.tripod.com

*When -ManBearPig asked Donald Lutz if he was headed to "Bako" to start the year, he responded with this face, so I guess no one but us Red Reporters refer to it as "Bako."

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Alright crackheads baseball fans, we have our first lineup of the year! Dusty announced his lineup for the spring opener vs. Cleveland tomorrow, and though it isn't wildly bizarre, it's sure to cause a mild commotion (lookin' at you, KMiB...)

Lineup after the jump!

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Wilson Valdez

#15 / Shortstop / Cincinnati Reds

Height: 5-11

Weight: 170

Bats: R

Throws: R

Born: May 20, 1978

Sole member of the Va-sty Boys

The Reds made some pretty high-profile trades this offseason-Mat Latos for 4 separate men, Sean Marshall for 2 half-men, and Wilson Valdez for a horse Jeremy Horst. This type of offseason move would normally not cause many ripples or turn any heads. It's a light-hitting utility infielder who can handle SS for the number 7 or 8 LH middle reliever on the depth chart. But, you see, Wilson Valdez isn't just a light-hitting utility infielder who can handle SS, he's also the one who mowed down the middle of our order for a save in the 19th inning of that horrific, gangrenous, pestilent wound of a loss to the Phillies on May 25 of last year. Let's take a look at our new Red, Wilson Valdez!

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In one of the closest decisions in recent [SBNation] Cy Young voting, Roy Halladay pulled a 2000 George W. Bush and won the award despite having 1 less first-place vote than runner-up Clayton Kershaw. Many thought Kershaw to be the favorite to win the award (and still see him as the favorite to win the actual award), but someone--I'm looking at you McCovey Chronicles--gave the wispy 23-year-old a fifth place vote, which may have given the edge to the Philadelphia Ace 1A. That's not to say that Roy Halladay isn't a good choice--Doc turned in another stellar season, putting up a fat, juicy 8.2 fWAR in 233.2 IP, the most ever in a single season of his already long and illustrious career, but Kershaw struck out 28 more batters in essentially the same amount of innings (actually 1/3 of an inning less), and had a WHIP under 1 (though Doc's was a meager 1.04). There really is no wrong answer here. Congrats to Roy Halladay on another pristine season--even if he didn't throw a no-hitter against the Cardinals in the NLCS--and congratulations to Clayton Kershaw on an equally filthy season in which there is absolutely zero shame in losing any award to Roy Halladay, unless the award is given to the quality of your fishing buddies (he hangs out with Chris Carpenter).

It's worth noting that our very own Johnny Cueto received a fifth-place vote, which I believe was well-deserved, despite the comparatively small amount of innings pitched.

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Hey dudes and dudettes, remember me? After overheating in the Utah high desert and the Mojave Desert driving a '92 Volvo stationwagon overloaded with all my crap (BrianB can commiserate) I'm back from my nomadic wanderings to write about the Reds having settled in my new home of San Diego (a good NL town).

But enough about your Uncle. I wanted to gauge the enthusiasm waters on a few of the more divisive, enigmatic, and just plain baffling prospects in the Reds' system. There's plenty to be excited about—Zack Cozart coming back from a wicked elbow injury with the inside track on the starting SS job next spring, Aroldis Chapman building up arm strength to transition back to a starter (apologies to jch), Yonder Alonso eating rabbit food all offseason in order to maybe play a Gomesian LF in order to get his obviously-ML-ready bat in the lineup, among others—but we also have a few in the pipeline with no obvious role or easily predictable track. Here's a quick look at some of them after the jump, and then let's hear your thoughts. Special thanks to 'creds for making sure I didn't say anything stupid about the prospects!

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