SBNation.com User Blog: UneFitojPaGjyqeDhePershkrime

The mad genius of Antonio Conte — as narrated by Andrea Pirlo

UneFitojPaGjyqeDhePershkrime — Thu, 02 May 2013 14:30:13 -0000

We instill fear, once again, more and more. A lot of people remind us of it daily, especially Antonio Conte who attaches newspaper articles in which opponents talk about us on the locker room door. Interviews and statements cut out with maniacal care and attached with Scotch tape to the entrance of the most secret room. Can't miss excerpts, the ones that must be read, are highlighted with red marker. First there was "The Worker President" [a reference to an old Berlusconi political campaign], we have "The Newspaper Stand Coach". Press release time happens at least once a week. The message is clear, against Juventus everyone transforms, even those who are desperate and have nothing left to fight for. They go for the upset, at least with words. They choose the way of provocations.

"Guys, did you see what this one says? That we have weak points.."

"It's bullshit, coach."

"Maybe it is bullshit, but if we are men we need to show on the pitch that he is making a mistake. And this other one? He's willing to swear that a moment of weakness will come even for us."

"More bullshit, coach."

"Let's not fall into this trap. We have only one method of proving him wrong: winning. By the way, did you read the last line, the one I circled?"

"Yes, coach. That moron said that we are the most hated team in the world, that everyone knows it."

"He's right about that, when we see him on the pitch we will need to thank him, even, he gave us a compliment, it means we are back. That we instill fear, that we are honoring the name we carry. Remember: only those who do not win get the opponents' full sympathy."

"Coach, he also says you are insane..."

"There, you see that? Among the thousands of idiocies he said, even he had a moment of clarity. Ah, you owe me an Euro and twenty cents, by the way."

"What for?"

"For the newspaper..."

Words cannot describe how much I love this man.

24 Hours of Juventus

UneFitojPaGjyqeDhePershkrime — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 00:40:38 -0000

Ever wondered what happens behind closed black and white doors? Not just what the club’s website gives us, more than just what we here at BWRAO can provide, I’m talking getting a first hand look at the life your favorite Juventini idols live, minute by minute. No need to worry, here it is, 24 Hours of Juventus!

5:58 Pepe quietly makes his way back into his room from that of Pirlo and Matri.

6:02 The loud tunes of Bob Marley and The Wailers’ "Riding High" coming from Iaquinta’s room wake everyone up.

Bob Marley and The Wailers - Riding High

6:04 Chiellini, Bonucci, Marchisio and Marrone update their Twitter accounts.

6:10 A clueless Pirlo applies the coach’s Rogaine on his beard, thinking it’s conditioner.

6:30 The players report for breakfast.

6:31 The team, led by Asa, says a prayer for the missing Isla.

6:31-6:35 #BOH #BOH # BOH

6:46 Vidal bets Pogba he’ll have more lines in his hair than him by lunchtime.

7:03 Giovinco and Giak are playing with Legos from their booster chairs.

7:15 Iaquinta takes his Suboxone.

7:28 Matri, sitting next to Vucinic, asks Pirlo to pass him the jam. Vucinic receives the jar of jam from Pirlo directly in his dominant hand after 0.038 seconds.

7:29 Vucinic loses the jam.

7:55 Tuttosport’s headline of the day features a Suarez photograph and: "Juve, attacco Champions: LuiSI"

9:00 First practice of the day is underway.

9:07 Antonio Conte has already lost his voice.

9:15 Iaquinta’s dad, interviewed by Gazzetta dello Sport claims his son is the top player Juventus needs.

10:30 Conte and Alessio have Stephan Lichtsteiner and Paolo De Ceglie practicing crosses with Chiellini, Bendtner and Barzagli as the intended headers in the box. After skying all but two of them, a frustrated Lichtsteiner sends a violent cross Chiellini’s way, breaking Giorgio’s nose for the eighteenth time since turning professional.

10:32 Giorgio Chiellini took a picture with Instagram.

11:45 Massimo Carrera still has more titles to his coaching career than Zdenek Zeman.

12:00 Marotta and Paratici are discussing mercato strategies for the summer.

12:10 Looking to add a few more lines to his head ahead of the showdown with Pogba, Marotta gets a call from Vidal asking him if he can help him find an electric shaver before lunch.

12:25 After consulting with Paratici and Nedved, Marotta proudly calls Vidal to tell him he has successfully reached an agreement with Atalanta’s Pierpaolo Marino for Marino’s own Panasonic electric shaver. The grooming device will join on a season-long loan fee of 15 Euros with a pre-agreed purchase option of 37 Euros.

12:25:36 After hearing the news of a shaver entering the club’s premises, Rubinho submits an official request to be transfer-listed to Marotta.

13:00 The first training session of the day ends.

13:03 Conte drinks a chamomile tea with honey for his voice.

13:15 Back at the hotel, the players gather around Pogba and Vidal, as the two midfielders get ready to determine who has the most lines. Upon hearing the word "lines" Iaquinta volunteers to be the official scorekeeper.

13:18 Vidal edges out Pogba 39-33.

14:10 Andrea Pirlo is the new face of Head & Shoulders.

14:30 Lunch is underway.

14:31 The players, led by Asa once again, prepare to say a prayer for their soon-to-be teammate Fernando Llorente’s well-being.

14:31:12 The prayer is interrupted by a football that breaks the 3^rd floor window and winds up on the kitchen table. Momo Sissoko is practicing his long shots in Florence.

14:44 "My husband or Messi? My husband, no question!" — Iaquinta’s wife in an exclusive interview for Sky Sport 24.

15:00 Giovinco and Giak take their mid-afternoon nap.

15:30 Chiellini, Bonucci, Marchisio, and Marrone update their Twitter accounts.

16:00 Training resumes with Conte and Alessio working with the strikers on attacking movements.

16:11 As the Rogaine results become visible, Andrea Pirlo contemplates quitting football altogether and touring the world as a one-man ZZ Top cover band.

16:30 While looking at Anelka and Bendtner in action, Antonio Conte wonders if Marcelo Zalayeta still plays.

17:45 Meanwhile, in Australia, despite Del Piero’s 138^th goal of the season, Sydney F.C is still absolute dead last.

18:00 With the forwards now working on penalties, practice comes to an end, and Angelo Alessio calls Quagliarella over to help him put away cones and flags.

18:01 Upset at not being allowed to shoot his last penalty kick, Quagliarella curses out Alessio in Napoletan and joins Bonucci on his way to the parking lot.

18:02:01 Bonucci finds a man wearing a ski mask trying to break into his Ferrari.

18:02:03 Bonucci has a gun pointed to his head.

18:02:06 The unknown man is pronounced dead on the scene.

19:34 With his beard now reaching his ankles, Andrea Pirlo has Arturo Vidal shave it off for him with his new shaver.

20:28 Almost an hour and twelve pounds of hair later, Vidal is overjoyed to find his fellow Chile teammate Isla alive and well inside of Pirlo’s beard.

20:30 Matri goes out to dinner with his girlfriend, while the rest of the team stays in to celebrate Isla’s return.

21:30 After feeding them dinner, Antonio Conte takes Giovinco and Giak to their room and tucks them in while softly reading Sam McBratney’s "Guess How Much I Love You".

22:00 The boys go to their rooms to sleep ahead of another long day of work.

Celtic: An Overview

UneFitojPaGjyqeDhePershkrime — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 01:02:52 -0000

Celtic is a team that does not need much of an introduction. Established in 1887, together with its historic Old Firm rivals Rangers, the Green and White are what immediately comes to mind when the topic is not only Scottish but also British football. Domestically, Celtic boasts no less than 43 Scottish League Championships, 35 Scottish Cups, and 14 Scottish League Cups. Impressive numbers comparable only to those of the Rangers.

The club’s contribution to European football is also remarkable: Celtic was the first British club to have won what was then known as the European Cup during its 1966-1967 edition. Captained by current Club Ambassador and absolute Celtic god Billy "Cesar" McNeill and propelled by the goals of fellow club legends Stevie Chalmers and Tommy Gemmell, the side nicknamed "Lisbon Lions" came from behind to defeat Helenio Herrera’s Inter team 2-1. From there, Celtic continued to have its say in Europe, finishing just short of repeating the glory of 1967 only three years later, falling to Feyenoord in extra time.

More recently the club made a historic run during the 2002-2003 edition of the Uefa Cup, once again losing out in heartbreaking fashion as they were consigned to a 3-2 extra time defeat against Jose Mourinho’s Porto. It was during this season that the "Bhoys From Seville" nickname came to prominence when referring to the team and its extraordinary and relentless travelling supporters. On the night of the Uefa Cup final, more than 80,000 Celtic fans were present in Seville, despite the Spanish stadium’s capacity being just over 57,000 and ticket prices reaching £500.

The 2012-2013 season has thus far been a tremendous one for Celtic. Domestically the club’s dominance is similar to that of Juventus, after 20 weeks, Celtic is first with 40 points, a 6-point lead on Inverness CT and Motherwell, both of which have played one more match. Manager Neil Lennon has the team playing good football on both sides of the pitch, with 39 goals for and 15 against the Hoops possess the second-best attack and the best defense of the Scottish league.

In the Champions League, after wiping the floor with Swedish title-holders Helsingborg with a 4-0 aggregate result in the Champions Route qualifying stages, Celtic fared well in a group that included Spartak Moscow and two teams the freshly eliminated, reigning champions of Chelsea had previously defeated on their way to their first Champions League title in 2011-2012: Benfica and Barcelona. Thanks to a dramatic, Georgios Samaras-inspired last minute 3-2 away win in Russia and a stunning 2-1 upset against Barcelona, the Scotts were able to not only secure a qualifying spot for the latter rounds but also earn the respect and attention of countless fans whose sole British football-related concern throughout the group stages was "Which team will successfully embarrass Roberto Mancini and his men this week?"

Despite not having a roster full of superstars, Celtic is a solid team possessing a number of players capable of causing Conte and his men trouble. Young Kenyan defensive midfielder/occasional center-back/brother of McDonald Mariga/Yaya Toure carbon-copy Victor Wanyama is arguably Celtic’s best player of this season so far. A tall, lanky, yet capable holding midfielder with a strong defensive game and an excellent ability for getting forward, Wanyama has proven a pleasant surprise for manager Neil Lennon and fans alike after making the switch from Belgian side Beerschot AC. Wanyama has scored 6 goals in 25 appearances. Full back Emilio Izaguirre and midfielder Charlie Mulgrew make up a good duo on the left side for Celtic, and they should make for a key battle on the pitch against Stephan Lichtsteiner and Mauricio Isla. Celtic’s attack is also not to be overlooked. Although at times he may resemble the Greek Amauri, Georgios Samaras is still a danger that will need to be addressed. He’s got height, strength, aerial ability and is capable of holding up play and bringing in teammates to play. British forwards Anthony Stokes and Gary Hooper should also play an important role for Lennon against Juventus, Hooper especially, as the 24-year-old former Scunthorpe United star has contributed 8 goals during the 2012-2013 season.

There is still much more to learn about Celtic as a team, this is merely a short overview and there will be more in-depth coverage ahead of February’s match from us here at BWRAO. Until then, let us all enjoy ‘tis festive season of giving, spending time with family and stockings full of Pelusos. Just make sure you stay warm, -8 is cold, cold, cooold weather, regardless of which system you use!

The Richmond Boakye Bet

UneFitojPaGjyqeDhePershkrime — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 01:50:52 -0000

Trying to successfully secure playing time for a talented youngster in need of match experience has proven to be a Herculian task for Juventus as a football club post-Calciopoli. The loan option is the preferred one, as it is simpler and usually distinguished by the player being sent to an affiliate or supposedly friendly club for what is meant to be a season-long stint of gaining experience.

Over the last few seasons, the list of these friendly clubs has been a long one: Siena, Bari, Brescia, Vicenza, Pescara, Sassuolo, Esperia Viareggio, Modena, Pro Vercelli, Virtus Lanciano are just a few that come to mind. A number of the loaned out youngsters at these clubs have had very good luck to say the least: Ciro Immobile became the Serie B top goalscorer at Pescara last season, Carlo Pinsoglio was a weekly fixture for Lega Pro side Esperia Viareggio’s starting eleven during the 2010-2011 season ahead of fellow Juventus youth product Timothy Nocchi, Yussif Raman Chibsah is currently a regular for a Sassuolo team that is simply steamrolling the competition in Serie B, Gabriel Appelt was proving to be the focal point of Pro Vercelli’s play prior to being sidelined with a broken fibula and I have lost count of the number of penalties Nicola Leali has already saved this season as he breaks himself in two every game desperately trying to keep Virtus Lanciano from drowning back to Lega Pro (I think it is already up to three, with more than half the season yet to play) .

However, there have been some less than fortunate loan experiences, as well. Who can forget the spectacular failure that the haphazard packaging of poor Iago Falque to Bari just days prior to the end of the 2009 summer transfer window proved to be? Before scoring left, right and center under the guidance of offensive extremist, defensive ignoramus and generally unfulfilled and bitter agitator Zdenek Zeman, Ciro Immobile was shipped around to Siena and Grosseto with little success to write home about. The same Carlo Pinsoglio was a bench-warmer at Pescara after being deemed "too defensive of a player" by the Czech chain-smoking messiah of catching L’s himself. I am serious. Luca Anania was preferred ahead of Pinsoglio by Zeman as the veteran was considered to be more suited at playing the ball with his feet, a better fit for Zeman’s nonsensical approach.

It is difficult to ensure a talented youngster gets to grow and play with consistency while on loan instead of frustratingly wasting away Cristian Pasquato at Lecce circa 2011-2012 style. Good relations between two sporting directors are at times not enough. Yearly affiliation contributions paid by Juventus don’t seem to hold as much power as Football Manager often makes you think. A Juventino manager in charge at the "receiving" club will not necessarily get the job done, especially if he is made of stainless steel and is rumored to have nearly come to blows with the player in training, Antonio Conte and Ciro Immobile docet.

Sometimes, the loan deal is so ideal and such a natural fit it is not only obvious to complete but a safe bet and a guaranteed success. Richmond Boakye’s season-long return to Sassuolo by way of Juventus has thus far proven to be a masterful move, from all parts.Upon acquiring half of the young Ghana international’s rights from Genoa as collateral of the part exchange agreement of ownership rights of Ciro Immobile, Boakye was sent on loan to Serie B side Sassuolo, the club where he earned his first professional stripes during the 2011-2012 season - an excellent decision by Marotta and Paratici. While talented and probably not any less exciting of a striker than (this season’s Eljero Elia) Nicklas Bendtner, Boakye would have probably not found much playing time at Juventus this season. Sending him back to the club where he was able to rack up 12 goals in 34 appearances between Serie B and Coppa Italia last year, although obvious, was the right decision to make. The youngster was offered an opportunity to resume where he had left off at a familiar club, a familiar city, a familiar level of football to continue scoring and developing in and he has thus far truly made the most of it. Together with players such as Troianello, Missiroli, Pavoletti, Terranova and fellow Juventus-loaned Chibsah, Boakye’s 6 goals in 12 contribution is why manager Eusebio Di Francesco’s Sassuolo side seems headed straight toward promotion to the top flight of Italian football.

The latest from Boakye was this impressive performance against Reggina this past weekend

That is two goals scored and one MOTM performance amidst 90 minutes of approximately 1,387 missed chances, ladies and gentlemen. And you thought Juventus was wasteful up top!

The forward is currently playing well, averaging a goal every two games and continuing his impressive growth as one of Italian football’s most exciting prospects. Kudos to Beppe Marotta, not only did him and Paratici secure a firm hold on two of the best young strikers of the peninsula with one move, but they also made the best decision to protect the investment the club made on Boakye by allowing him to continue his ascend into the upper echelon of the football that matters this past summer. One final wish? Once Sassuolo attain promotion at the end of this season, loan him back there ahead of the 2012-2013 Serie A season, it will be an even greater success.

Manolo Gabbiadini: The Other Best Young Italian Striker

UneFitojPaGjyqeDhePershkrime — Sun, 14 Oct 2012 07:23:48 -0000

When "impressive young Italian strikers" is the topic of discussion, Mattia Destro is usually the first name to get mentioned, with Ciro Immobile, Lorenzo Insigne and Stephan El Shaarawy following respectively. This is neat from a Juventino standpoint, as Destro grew up a Bianconero, Ciro Immobile is thankfully still part-owned by Juventus, Insigne’s lifelong idol is Alessandro Del Piero and El Shaarawy’s hair boasts more black and white stripes at any time than all of the jerseys Nike has designed for the Old Lady the last nine seasons combined. Unfortunately, this also means the talented Manolo Gabbiadini is regularly overlooked, despite possessing a tremendous upside and arguably one of the best left feet in the entire peninsula.

The History:

From Calcinate, the same small Bergamo town that gave Juventus and Italian football Pietro "the Czar" Vierchwood, Manolo is the youngest of two children. Football runs in the family blood, as Manolo’s father Giuseppe enjoyed an amateur career as goalkeeper for a number of regional sides, while his sister Melania plays professionally as a striker for the Bardolino Verona Italian Women’s Serie A club and the Italian Women’s National Team. A product of Atalanta’s storied youth system, Manolo made his Serie A debut in 2010 at 18 years old.

After collecting two appearances during the 2009-2010 season at Atalanta, Gabbiadini moved on co-ownership to Serie B side Cittadella, where he saw greater exposure to first team football, as he ended his season with 29 total appearances and 5 goals. Having previously scored twice in three presences with the Italy U-20 team, the 2010-2011 season saw Gabbiadini get called up by U-21 boss Ciro Ferrara. Manolo didn’t disappoint and scored 4 in 8 while becoming a focal point of Ferrara’s tactics. The positive Serie B experience convinced Atalanta to buy back Cittadella’s half in the summer of 2011, a 2011 year that also saw the young striker score 10 goals in 13 appearances under Ciro Ferrara.

In 2011-2012, Gabbiadini made 24 appearances for Atalanta, scoring 2 goals mainly as a substitute for the team’s top striker German Denis.

The Juventus Connection:

In the summer of 2012, Beppe Marotta (finally) pulled the trigger and agreed a deal with Atalanta that consisted of 11 million Euros to be paid by Juventus over the course of 3 years for the full rights of the player, with Atalanta buying back half of the player’s rights for 5.5 million Euros also to be paid to Juventus over the course of 3 years. As part of the agreement, Juventus acquired ownership of the free temporary disposal of the player’s rights and immediately loaned him out to Bologna for the 2012-2013 season, since the Sorensen experiment had turned out perfectly successful the previous season!

The Footballer:

At 1.86 m and 81 kg, Manolo Gabbiadini is a tall, seemingly thin striker with a long and deceivingly lanky physique. His frame and excellent positioning make him a serious threat in the air, while his athleticism and good off-ball movement allows him to be a danger in counter-attacking situations and while playing on the opposing line of defense. Gabbiadini is mostly known, however, for his placed shots and surgical left foot. Manolo has been compared to Casiraghi, Padovano, Inzaghi and Vieri. The Vieri comparison makes sense in terms of size and how the two shoot, although every young Italian striker is the new Del Piero, the new Vieri or the new Inzaghi these days. Vieri was much more powerful of a finisher and physically devastating, in comparison. While I was too young to watch Ravanelli score with a Juventus jersey on, I have had the chance to see his goals as a Bianconero and Gabbiadini’s style of play reminds me of him: tall, yet a strong athletic physique, good technique, a fine first touch and incisive left foot.

The Present:

Manolo is currently on loan at Bologna, where he has accumulated 5 appearances and zero goals. He faces serious competition and while his head coach seems to have some faith in him as evident by the regular cameos as a sub, Pioli doesn’t seem to want to risk starting a 21 year old as he attempts to avoid relegation. Alberto Gilardino’s arrival and ridiculous start to the season, has been an unfortunate point against Gabbiadini’s growth as a player, as well, and it looks as if the latter’s best chances at starting are dependent upon Gilardino’s health status.

The Future:

Gabbiadini needs to get out of Bologna. Immediately. The decision to loan him there was a mistaken one in the first place. It is only the beginning of the season, but thus far the Sorensen experiment is repeating itself. The Dane was sent to Bologna after an impressive first Serie A season as an 18 year old with Juventus, and his chances were fairly limited. Bologna was in the market for a striker both before they obtained Gabbiadini on loan AND after, and Gilardino’s arrival was a concern for numerous Juventini excited with Gabbiadini’s purchase. Marotta and Paratici made a mistake after making a significant investment for the future and that investment needs to be protected. Gabbiadini’s situation looks similar to that of Immobile in the 2010-2011 Serie B season: some playing time with the first club he was loaned out to, but the kid is mostly wasting his time, just like Immobile’s loan to Siena was interrupted halfway into the season to send him out to Grosseto, Gabbiadini should be called back and sent to a team that can guarantee him better chances of starting football. Pescara is a club that comes to mind, as their roster can use all the help it can get (seriously, go on Wikipedia and look at it if you don’t believe me). Palermo is another option, as they have just lost Abel Hernandez for what is most likely the remainder of the season, and Miccoli, Budan and Dybala are simply not enough strikers for Gasperini. Siena is also a logical option, not only are they a friendly club, but they are playing with Ze Love in attack, for the love of everything that is holy! Stefano Padovan is a better striker in comparison, but then again, chances are that even Tobias Del Piero in a stroller is a more capable forward than Ze Love.

The Prediction:

If Gilardino will continue his current form, Gabbiadini will continue to be a dying minutes option for Pioli and he will get loaned out to a different club in January, where he will ultimately get his season rolling and surprise a lot of people. This season’s Destro.

There Is An Empty Seat Around the Dinner Table And I Couldn't Be Happier

UneFitojPaGjyqeDhePershkrime — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 05:00:48 -0000

Despite the positive start to the new season, restlessness and disappointment reign sovereign in the mind of this Juventino. The "Income" column of the club's financial statement is still 443.7 million Euros short, money that would not only easily suffice to buy out the 36 million Euro minimum fee release clause on Fernando Llorente's current contract once a month for the next calendar year, but Jose Urrutia himself, as well. With Elia's tribune seat of last season being permanently taken by a(n) ~~Nicklas Bendtner~~ unfortunate soul belied into paying the season ticket fee to watch players Juventus would face trouble buying even in Football Manager (don't worry, I Ain't Mad at Cha, Beppe), Urrutia could safely accommodate himself on the bench somewhere between Rubinho and Padoin. They made these things longer for a reason, after all.

30 Sul Campo continues to have an asphyxiating grasp at first place in the "Most Original Pointless Point-Making Statement in the History of Italian Football" contest. Word around Serie A holds that Juventus ownership plans to sulk, stick out its tongue to the annoying FIGC bully all while taking its ball and running home as a follow-up. The ultimate playground disinfecting tactic.

Oh, Zdenek Zeman is somehow still deemed sane enough to hold down a coaching job in Serie A, too.

These are not the principal causes of my frustration, however. The aforementioned are the bright lights to the pre-existing pounding migraine. A migraine that goes by the Court of Appeals-upheld 10 month long suspension of Antonio Conte and the nonsensical, enraging yet disarming events that have characterized the last month of the case.

But it's not all sour grapes, as the resignation of Michele Briamonte from the Juventus Board of Administrators has proven to be a much needed breath of fresh air.

Let me start off by saying that Briamonte, as an attorney, is most definitely qualified. Although only 34, the CV of his present on the EXOR press release dated October 10th, 2010 in regards to his initial introduction into the Juventus Administrative Board and his profile on the Corporate Information section on the club's website are impressive: Turin boy, graduated from the University of Turin's law program with first-class honors, Visiting Scholar at the Cornell Law School, chosen by the International Olympic Committee as patronage lawyer for the 2006 Turin Winter Olympic Games, all while being part of the Franzo Grande Stevens law firm since he was 23 and a partner since he was 29.

Throughout the nearly two year period Briamonte spent as one of the 11 members of the Juventus Board of Administrators, he became a prominent figure thanks to his role as the one to direct the Juventus Calciopoli-related legal proceedings against FIGC in the summer of 2011. Although he's not at much fault for the club having yet to receive a single cent in regards to the former issue, the club is yet to receive a single cent in regards to the former issue. During his tenure, Briamonte was also the club's FIGC representative member in the discussions for the collective bargaining agreement and the league tv rights revenue sharing contract.

More recently, the attorney played an important duty as a consultant to the club and Antonio Conte ahead of il Mister's trial court appearance. While not the sole legal adviser at both Juventus and Conte's disposal, Michele Briamonte was heralded as the architect behind Conte's initial Code of Sporting Justice Article 23 strategy. Under Briamonte's guidance, the Juventus head coach was to follow the path one of Antonio Conte's virtues would seemingly never opt to take on: come to terms with those accusing him and end the proceedings against him without admission of wrongdoing in hopes of a reduced sanction.

An understandable and fairly logical path that would have undoubtedly left the bitter taste of defeat in the mouth of the Juventino that captained his beloved club to the top of the world for more than half a decade, the man obsessive enough with winning to have named his first born Vittoria (Victory), the same head coach to have led his team to an impressive 40 games and counting undefeated in Serie A in just over a year. An agreement with the authorities that while nothing short of ideal for the Serie A champions facing a grueling 2012-2013 season would have led to Antonio Conte's name being, both ignorantly and unknowingly, associated with the non-erasable stigma of a pentito or offender-turned-collaborator for time to come by the public opinion. A bittersweet victory that would have not done much more than acquiesce the same blind public by providing them the head of the both carefully and carelessly selected scapegoat on a silver platter and allow a dysfunctional, irrational and medieval-at-best sporting justice system to claim another innocent victim.

Yet, in hopes of a speedy resolution, a trimmed suspension and a quick return to the sidelines, Antonio Conte hid his feelings, put aside his desire to fight and accepted the inevitable unfavorable consequences he'd have to face as a Juventino, a professional and as a man and followed Michele Briamonte's sensible, but cowardly advice to no avail.

Although ultimately good-intentioned, the seemingly submissive, almost transient defensive policy spearheaded by Briamonte and agreed upon by Juventus and Antonio Conte proved to be a time-wasting fiasco. The attorney's tactic served Juventus, Angelo Alessio and most importantly Antonio Conte little purpose, brought forth little significant progress and further understanding of the case while simultaneously setting the Juventus side back in the battle against a sporting justice system already taking its next step to the legal finish line.

Sometimes in life, Plan B is the most reasonable one of them all (no, not that one), and Michele Briamonte's passive approach proved to be the Plan A that should have never been implemented in the first place. Its lone accomplishments were more sleepless nights for Antonio Conte and a portrayal of Juventus as the confused child who in fear hands over his lunch to the bothersome bully hoping the latter will now leave him alone once and for all.

Michele Briamonte's short yet accomplished career made him a definite asset to the club's fortunes, and it is unfortunate Juventus has to lose the expertise of a professional of his qualifications. Antonio Conte's young, yet brilliant experience as Juventus head coach has not only been extraordinary but it embodies the absolute best thing to have happened to the club since that ill-fated 2006 year. What Conte represents for Juventus at this moment is more than a technical director, more than a motivator, more than just a simple head coach. With Del Piero off to Sydney, Antonio Conte is the captain, in an increasingly unreasonable transfer market, Antonio Conte is the Top Player that makes the difference, he is irreplaceable, period. Although of varying importance, nearly everyone else pales and seems expendable in comparison to Conte, even an Administrative Board member of Briamonte's caliber.

The fights of Antonio and Angelo are not over, and if the first two degrees of the Italian sporting justice system are much of an indicator for what awaits them and Juventus, one can't help but feel nervous ahead of September 21st. But Conte is now fighting his battle on his own terms and it's a reassuring feeling for which I couldn't be happier. And with joy I sing:

Senza di te non andremo lontano

Antonio Conte il nostro capitano!

Eee alè alè alè alè Antonio Conte

Senza di te non andremo lontano

Antonio Conte il nostro capitano!

OFFICIALLY OFFICIAL: Antonio Conte, Angelo Alessio Suspended by FIGC

UneFitojPaGjyqeDhePershkrime — Fri, 10 Aug 2012 07:49:33 -0000

The disciplinary committee of the federation deposited its verdicts to the FIGC Friday, Aug. 10 at approximately 9 a.m. Italy time.

As far as Juventus and its employees are concerned, the deliberations are as follows:

Antonio Conte: 10 month suspension for failure to report knowledge of possible wrongdoing to authorities
Angelo Alessio: 8 month suspension for failure to report knowledge of possible wrongdoing to authorities
Simone Pepe: acquitted of charges of failure to report knowledge of possible wrongdoing to authorities
Leonardo Bonucci: acquitted of charges of sporting fraud

Here is the link to the original document with the motivations behind the sentences published on the website of the FIGC (PDF format):

Official FIGC Trial Court Motivations and Sentences

The Appellate Court hearings in regards to the verdicts present in the document published above are set to begin on August 20th.

While Juventus gets to learn the fate of its employees just about 24 hours ahead of their first official match of the 2012-2013 season, the deliberations concerning Napoli, on the other hand, are set for September.

But you know what? It really doesn't matter:

Ma tanto lo vinciamo lo stesso il campionato, a dispetto di tutti questi figli di puttana. E poi mi verrebbe la voglia di dire: ma andate affanculo tutti!

23 Or 24? A Look Into The Rumored Future of Antonio Conte

UneFitojPaGjyqeDhePershkrime — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 05:33:41 -0000

Initially, this was meant to be a long, tempestuous rant of Conte pre-Modena circa 2010-2011 Serie B proportions:

Then I changed my mind. Although I don't think reality will be much different from the verdicts ~~Gazzetta dello Sport was forwarded by Palazzi~~ the media has already agreed upon, it does not yet feel appropriate to discuss the impending legal proceedings regarding Antonio Conte, Angelo Alessio, Cristian Stellini, Simone Pepe and Leonardo Bonucci in detail. I despise speculation, and the last thing I would want to do is follow into the footsteps of the average charlatan Italian sports journalist and take blind stabs at what awaits the Juventus camp, from those who have been the subjects of investigation to what it could all mean for their colleagues and Juventini worldwide.

Instead, I would like to shed some light onto one highly debated, particular aspect of this issue: that of the "patteggiamento", of the "co-operation", the "agreement to collaborate", or the "plea bargain" according to the ever nonsensical FIGC Code of Sporting Justice.

The second title out of the eight which comprise the FIGC Code of Sporting Justice contains the sanctions present in Articles 16-27. The ones of pertinence to the rumors of collaboration by Juventus employees in this case are the famous Article 24 and the little discussed Article 23.

Article 23: Application of Sanctions Upon Request of Sides

1. The subjects of Article 1.1 [Article 1.1: "Clubs, directors, athletes, coaches, game officials and any other subject taking part in activities of sports competition, technical, organizational, decision-making nature or however relevant as per federal ordinance, are held under observance of the federal norms and acts and must behave according to the principles of fairness, correctness and probity in any relationship however relevant to sporting activity"] can reach an agreement with the federal court before the end of the first degree argumentation phase to request to the judging entities the application of a reduced sentence, indicating the type and measure.

2.If the judging entity holds the qualification of facts as formulated by the sides correct and agrees with the indicated sanction, it withholds the power for its application with ordinance not subject to appeal, which closes the proceedings against the subject requesting.

3.The application of sanctions upon request of the sides is excluded in recurring cases and those of Article 7.6 [Article 7.6: "In the case of multiple offenses, meaning if the proceedings or result of a match has been altered or if an advantage in standings has been obtained, the sanctions are considered aggravate"].

Article 24: Collaboration of the Accused

1. In the case of admission of responsibility and factual collaboration from subjects placed under disciplinary action for discovery or confirmation of ruling violations, the judging entities can reduce, upon proposal by the federal court, the sanctions withheld in the federal ordinance by exchanging them with alternative statute of limitations applications or determine them in an equal manner.

2. In such case, the sanction reduction can also be extended to the clubs that respond in the form of direct and objective responsibility.

I wanted to explain these two articles of the FIGC Code of Sporting Justice to highlight the differences between them while trying to make sense out of what I think Conte's and the club's line of action was in regards to what countless fans and experts were calling a potential "admission of guilt" and "a plea agreement" with the authorities. Article 23 is not one of plea agreements. The way I see Article 23 is: "I am accused, I don't have faith in the system and or don't think there is anything in my power which can ultimately convince those accusing me of my complete innocence, thus in order to get out of this situation as soon as possible, as harmlessly as possible, I will ask to end things and for a reduced sanction, without acknowledging any possible guilt". Article 23 is what I believe Juventus' and Conte's rumored strategy of "working" with the authorities in hopes of a reduced sentence stemmed from. Article 24, on the other hand, describes the scenario of "guilt admission in hopes of a reduced sentence" far better: "I am accused, I admit my rule-breaking and guilt to the authorities, collaborate with them about the case and hope I they value my co-operation and eventually lower the punishment initially demanded".

The nature of Article 23 underlines the ever-nonsensical nature of Italian sporting justice. Ultimately, as has often been the case in the world of Italian sporting justice, if one finds himself on the accused list, he's a dead man, one way or another. The possibilities of an agreement for Conte have not been ruled out yet, as a matter of fact they still exist, but Wednesday's developments have made the picture much clearer.

You can call me a conspiracy-theory-loving lunatic, a bitter Calciopoli-obsessed cynic, a delusional ruBentino fanboy and anything in between, but what took place in Rome exposed the real objective of Scommessopoli: six years from Juventus' last Serie A scudetto, six years from the time Juventus looked set to dominate for years to come, six years from the trial that decimated the greatest institution Italian football can claim under its name, Juventus must get hit to appease specific interests, again. The future of Conte is already decided, as far as the authorities are concerned. How long he will be unable to coach Juventus for, what amount he will have to pay as a fine, and when he will know his own fate are merely details which time will take care of. By any means necessary, Antonio Conte needs to be taken out of the picture. Regardless of the outcome of this trial, Conte's image will forever remain tarnished, despite his honest, tenacious and driven personality and the excellent achievements his young career boasts. Whether he bases his collaboration with the authorities on Article 23 or 24, Conte will always be considered guilty, a filthy cheat, as is often the case with Juventus and its employees.

Scommessopoli in itself no longer represents the Serie A betting scandal, other than their own fans, nobody gives a damn about what lies ahead for Grossetto, Albinoleffe or Siena. The public opinion wants to see what will happen to Juventus. Omar Milanetto? Giuseppe Sculli? Andrea Masiello? Except for remembering to mention that they are all Juventus youth products, the media seems to have forgotten about them. Their utmost attention is directed towards AS Bari's former match-fixing extraordinaire Leonardo Bonucci. So what will it be, two years or three years?

There is a long season ahead of us.

Through everything, forza Capitano, forza Alessio, forza Stellini, forza Simo' and forza Bonnie.

2012 Juventus Summer Transfer Targets: Edinson Cavani

UneFitojPaGjyqeDhePershkrime — Thu, 26 Jul 2012 06:27:57 -0000

I hope you are enjoying season three of "The Great ‘Toppe Plejersse (Marotta circa 2011 cit.)’ Hunt of Our Lives" as much as yours truly. A little more than a week has passed since the first installment of this year’s Summer Transfer Targets series here at BWRAO and instead of the "toppe plejersse" muddy, messy, confusing situation becoming a bit clearer; the question marks have increased exponentially. How suspenseful! Does Conte still see in Cavani the ideal man to spearhead the attack he intends to take on Europe with? Is Robin Van Persie’s going to be Juventus’ new number 10? What in the world could a first team roster already boasting 347 midfielders possibly need the albeit talented Andrea Poli for, and will he be placed on top of a pile of cash and mailed to Tuscany as part of the Stevan Jovetic deal? Or is that Luca Marrone’s future? Will Marrotta’s supposed admiration for Edin Dzeko materialize into a last minute offer once he fails to secure the services of every other rumored top player? Stay tuned to find out!

This and more to be unveiled over the next 36 days, but until then, it’s time to shift our focus to the south of Italy, where Conte’s supposed preferred top player target plays his trade: Edinson Cavani.

The Player:

Edinson Cavani is 25, a key player for both his club and national side, and the best striker in Serie A. The Uruguay national made the move to Italian football at just 20 years old by joining Palermo for 4.4 million Euros. He made his Serie A debut against Fiorentina in 2007 coming on as a sub with Palermo down by one goal, and immediately scored this:

Not bad, eh?

His Sicilian adventure was very much a positive one. Despite a number of factors, both seemingly natural and awfully bizarre playing a role throughout his experience with the Rosanero (fairly young age; often coming on as a substitute; coaching changes; at times used in a wider attacking position than that of the typical prima punta; a certain Amauri having the one good season of his career [this is your one chance to curse Alessio Secco in this post, use it wisely] ), Cavani averaged just under a goal every three games in all competitions (37 goals in 117 total appearances, 34 goals in 109 Serie A appearances).

De Laurentiis’ Napoli was El Matador’s next stop, as he joined the Partenopei in July of 2010 on a season long, 5 million Euro loan deal which included an obligatory, pre-agreed purchase option of 12 million Euros to be paid by Napoli over a period of four years. Upon being made the focal point of the team’s play during the last two years with Napoli, Cavani has had in the eyes of numerous fans and experts alike the most consistent and impressive production by a Serie A forward: 47 total appearances/33 goals in 2010-2011, 48 total appearances/33 goals in 2011-2012.

Although statistics are great to observe, they almost always don’t show the full picture when it comes to a player’s ability and contribution to his team. Cavani is one of the most complete forwards around in today’s game. Despite characterizing himself as a natural prima punta, Cavani’s career has seen him being employed as a seconda punta, as a wide forward, and he has even assumed the duties of a right winger throughout game portions. The physical side of Cavani as a striker is not only excellent, but a devastating aspect to his game, as he combines a tall, lean frame (184cm of height) with a dynamic style of play, a seemingly relentless hard-working motor, good acceleration both on and off the ball to equally impressive pace and agility which have often seen him spearheading Napoli’s counter-attacks, both in Italy and Europe.

His strength and balance, on the other hand, are also very good, as they have allowed him to become a reliable presence not only in attack, but also in transition of play and the defensive phase of the game, often helping by holding off opponents, holding up the ball if necessary, while at times even playing as a play-by-play target man by knocking down headers and playing one-twos. Cavani possesses a decent left for being naturally right-footed, great finishing, good technique, positioning, off the ball movement and anticipation, which have made him one of the smarter forwards in Italy when it comes to putting himself in the position to score, especially short distance goals. He’s good in the air and an excellent set-piece taker, converting an impressive 12 penalties and one free kick in his two seasons at Napoli. Last but not least, Cavani is a workhorse, a fantastic team player, and the quiet, hard-working, solid professional type any team would love to have.

The Juventus Connection:

There had been faint, irregular rumors linking Cavani to Juventus as early as his Palermo days. I even remember reading an article sometime in early 2010, I believe, which claimed Cavani was actually a Juventus fan when he was younger. How much truth there was in it is still unclear, but the Juventus-Cavani voices became more insistent throughout the last six months; El Matador is as elite of a young striker playing in Europe not currently earning a fortune as one can be, and Juventus is on the lookout for an offensive upgrade. If the media is to be believed, Edinson Cavani is at the very top of Antonio Conte’s (Christmas?) mercato wish-list which he is hoping (One-Eyed Santa Claus? [sounds like the title of a low-budget horror film starring, among others, an Alexis Texas or two]) Marotta will be able to fulfill.

The Possibility of a Move:

Everything about Cavani’s case is ideal. At 25 years old, Cavani is very young and most likely has a few years to go before he reaches his footballing peak. His grandfather’s Maranello origins, his Italian passport, and the four and a half years he has spent playing in Serie A make him a much safer bet than most of the other strikers Juventus has been linked with by the media – there is always a greater degree of comfort when looking to buy from within the league. Cavani’s goalscoring record in Italy speaks for itself, although only 25, the Uruguayan already has 83 Serie A goals to his name, and his 12 goals in 20 European continental competition games record (5 goals in 8 games in last season’s Champions League edition alone) highlight the level of Cavani’s goalscoring abilities: he can comfortably score anytime, anywhere. Although different players, much like Robin Van Persie, Cavani’s well-rounded offensive game would make him an ideal toy for Antonio Conte’s ever developing tactics. His current net salary of 2.2 million Euros/year on his Napoli contract expiring in 2016 also makes his case favorable, if Cavani were to become a new Juventus player, even if his salary is doubled by Marotta, the gross expenditure El Matador’s wages would comprise on Juventus’ payroll would still be in the single digits, something which can’t be said for most of the other “toppe plejersse” candidates.

But he’s not going to be a Juventus player, and as strange as I feel saying this, there’s now greater chances of Robin Van Persie signing for Juventus than there are of us seeing Cavani start alongside Vucinic and or Giovinco anytime soon. Make no mistake about it, by next summer, Edinson Cavani will no longer be a Napoli player. This is not an arrogant Juventino talking, as I’m not sure Cavani will end up a Bianconero but I firmly believe he will be the next departing member of what were deemed by Napoli fans as “The Three Tenors” (Lavezzi-Cavani-Hamsik trio).

The primary reason why Cavani will not be Juventus’ top striker goes by the first name of Aurelio, last name De Laurentiis. De Laurentiis has no desire to sell Cavani, and according to his latest, public, circus act of an interview published two days ago: “would sell him only if someone crazy enough presented themselves with 100 million for him”. This is DeLa being DeLa, as there is no doubt in my mind if someone wealthy enough presented themselves with 40 million cash for him (no part player exchanges, co-ownerships or loans and as long as it’s not in the last few weeks of the summer transfer season), Napoli’s president would pay for El Matador’s plane ticket, too. 40 million cash, in Italy, for one reason or another, nobody is currently capable of offering. This unfortunately goes for Juventus, as well, and nearly all of the rumored Juventus offers to Napoli that have been described (read: made up) by journalists include a sum of anywhere from 15 to 30 million Euros + pick up to two of Matri/Giovinco/Melo/Krasic/Pazienza. De Laurentiis is not stupid, and is well aware that if he were to lose both Lavezzi and Cavani in a matter of weeks, his team would lose tremendously and would be in trouble for European qualification next season. Napoli’s fanbase would also not take a possible 1-2 punch of that sort well, at all, especially if their best and beloved player wears the fiercely disliked Juventus jersey next year.

The period of mercato we have entered in, also makes a possible Cavani move highly unlikely. With just over a month left to complete deals, prices are generally higher and clubs are less inclined to sell with time to identify possible substitutes to re-invest transfer money upon running out. Although I’m not a huge Lavezzi fan, I’ll acknowledge his contribution to Napoli’s play and success the last few years, and I’m curious to see how Napoli and Cavani himself cope without him in the upcoming season. Insigne is very talented, but whether he’ll be able to make fans forget Lavezzi is yet to be seen. Strikers like Cavani are not easy to substitute when they leave your team, even if your name is Roberto BelliCapelli Mancini and you play Football Manager for a living.

Other than that, Cavani’s case is as ideal as can be!

The Prediction:

Skeletor shall remain eeevil, you witless fools! In all seriousness, not only are Cavani’s chances of a Juventus switch awfully slim, the chances of a switch, at all, appear awfully slim, at least until next summer. The absolute only way I could see Cavani departing this summer is if Napoli are faced with a 50+ million Euro, late August Chelsea offer. It’s a shame, as not only is he a wonderful player, but as I have already mentioned, his case would suit Juventus’ needs and preferences well, however, I’m afraid we’ll have to continue to face El Matador as an opponent even in 2012-2013.

2012 Juventus Summer Transfer Targets: Robin Van Persie

UneFitojPaGjyqeDhePershkrime — Tue, 17 Jul 2012 05:56:40 -0000

The summer is here. While the majority of fans of the beautiful game will use words such as annoying, boring and slow to describe it, for the Juventino in me, it is hands down the best season of the year. Why, you ask? You see, from a tender age, I wasn’t much the active type. My ideal summer day consisted more or less of an hour of play with the neighborhood kids and twenty three of television watching (I never slept back then, either). Although I was an avid and fiercely loyal fan of awful, Endemol-produced, Rai-adopted, Carlo Conti-directed game shows and anything Eurosport decided to show, soap operas always fascinated me…

*cue moment of awkward, shame-induced silence*

Now that I’m older, things seem to have been turned upside down. My average summer day is the complete opposite of what I described above, with 7v7 or 10v10, two hour long football matches in 94 degree weather taking the place of the generic soap opera plot consisting of an extremely wealthy family and illegitimate, unknowing heirs raised in miserable conditions. Despite all this, I still love soap operas, which is why the further we get into the summer transfer market months, the greater my excitement grows for season three of “The Great ‘Toppe Plejersse (Marotta circa 2011 cit.)’ Hunt of Our Lives”, starring Juventus’ very own Beppe Marotta, Fabio Paratici, a slew of mostly Secco-era, salary budget-draining deadwood to raise transfer funds out of, and every other “toppe plejersse” Tuttosport can make a ferociously cheesy headline from once official (“DzECCO!" anyone?).

So let’s kick things off right, and talk about one of the more popular names as of late, that of Robin Van Persie.

The Player:

When it comes to modern football, Van Persie’s name is one that does not need much publicity or introduction, as his popularity and the numbers he has been able to produce throughout his playing career speak for themselves. Despite starting as a left winger early in his playing days, the 28 year old Arsenal captain has developed into a successful center forward over time. Although he’s never displayed the prominent physical presence of some of the other elite strikers of the last decade like Didier Drogba, Van Persie combines a tall physique with great technique, outstanding dribbling, first touch and excellent shooting ability, all while being a talented and versatile enough forward to often drop back and help the team’s build-up play in the opposing final third with his creativity, vision and intelligent ball distribution.

The Dutchman’s well-rounded play and proficiency in multiple aspects of attack has not only allowed him to become a much more impactful forward throughout the years, but it has aided his progression into a focal point of both his club and national team’s starting squads. Arsenal’s 4-3-3 is heavily dependent upon Van Persie, while we were just able to witness the faith former Netherlands head coach Bert Van Marwijk had in him, with Robin being given the starting nod ahead of Klaas-Jan Huntelaar during the Euro 2012 group stages.

The Juventus Connection:

Robin Van Persie’s name first started to get linked with Juventus more ‘regularly’ this past spring, when speculation regarding his contract situation increased as the season came to a close. With his current deal at Arsenal set to expire in June of 2013 and the incredible form that has characterized his last year (41 goals and 16 assists in 56 games in 2011-2012), it didn’t take much for media all over Europe to begin the guessing game about Robin’s future. The late spring Juventus-Van Persie rumors culminated in May, when Michele Criscitiello, Italian sports journalist and host of the football news show “Calciomercato” on the Sportitalia channel claimed that Robin Van Persie had discretely visited Turin a week prior, while his agent Kees Voss met with Beppe Marotta and Fabio Paratici.

Major Italian sports media outlets and sources near the club seemed to hint that Criscitiello’s bombastic news bit was actually true (for once in his life), although the latter sources’ versions of the story had Van Persie taking a very short trip and visiting the club’s headquarters and Vinovo prior to flying back and joining his national team’s preparations ahead of the Euro 2012 and not the city itself, Juventus stadium and the club’s museum, as others claimed. As of then, the Van Persie to Juventus rumors continue slow but steady, fueled in part by the statement the player published on his official website on July 4^th, where in hopes of shedding some light on his situation and rubbishing the incessant speculation, he announced: “I’ve thought long and hard about it, but I have decided not to extend my contract”.

The Possibility of a Move:

In order to not seem overconfident and absolute in my belief, I’m going to go ahead and say that the chances of Robin Van Persie being a Juventus player are slim at best. Yes, Van Persie is a top player, or “toppe profeshjonalle` (Marotta circa 2012 cit)” as Beppe called the type of player Juventus is on the market for. Yes, Van Persie is an elite striker, something Juventus most definitely needs on its roster to compete in all four fronts. Yes, Van Persie seems to be on the move and hungry for a winning project and potential silverware, and this Juventus is one of the more exciting projects in Europe. And yes, Van Persie’s well-rounded attacking play matches the profile of striker Antonio Conte could use to perfect his tactics even further.

However, in my eyes, Van Persie represents an investment no club in Italy is currently comfortable with making. Although I believe Juventus has the financial power to ultimately secure the services of Van Persie, I think his situation is far from ideal in Marotta’s eyes to pull the trigger. The investment the Dutch striker would require would be a significant one, even if his contract is up in less than a year’s time. Between transfer fee installments, agent fees, player’s gross salary and bonuses, Juventus would most likely end up spending upwards of 70-80 million Euros. When considered together with other factors such as this probably being the player’s last big professional contract, his age (Robin turns 29 in three weeks), the uncertainty regarding his potential success in an entirely different country, league and setup from England, the EPL and Arsenal, and his past injury troubles make Van Persie’s case just as delicate as it is risky, possibly too risky for Marotta, Paratici and Juventus to gamble on.

The profile of striker Juventus is searching for is a different one, as far as I’m concerned. Marotta doesn’t want to take big risks on the Van Persies out there. To strengthen upfront, Juventus is looking for players whose value won’t equal an arm and a leg; for players whose values are substantial but a bit more contained, who ideally have shown great talent already but have yet to fully establish themselves, for players who are young, yet have proven that they are capable of making the difference – I don’t know what else to say to describe Stevan Jovetic’s case, but more on that later.

The Prediction:

Robin Van Persie’s situation has two very probable outcomes: he will either find common grounds with Wenger and Gazidis, change his mind and ultimately renew with Arsenal in hopes of finally winning trophies with his favorite club, or he’ll end up at Manchester City once they offload a Dzeko or two, where Roberto Mancini can continue to have a blast playing real life Football Manager. Dreaming doesn’t cost a thing, but this was always a short one.

Making Sense of Scommessopoli

UneFitojPaGjyqeDhePershkrime — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 17:19:31 -0000

I’d like to start this post with the premise that as far as I’m concerned, anyone who has willingly participated in the fixing of match outcomes for personal financial gain as the ultimate motive, whether a Juventus employee or not, whether a player, a manager, a club official or owner, should be at the receiving end of a lifetime ban from football.

The world of Italian football is currently witnessing tumultuous times. Scommessopoli, as the betting scandal which has rocked calcio has been baptized by the ever-so-candid Italian sports journalists looks to be the second major scandal to have enveloped the top levels of football in the peninsula in the last decade. The uninformed and or ill-advised have even gone ahead and classified this scandal as “the second match-fixing scandal of Italian football in the last 6 years after the infamous Calciopoli one of 2006”.

A lot seems to have been said, written, fantasized and insinuated in regards to Scommessopoli over these last few months. Actually, to be more precise, little has been actually said, a lot has been written, and much, much more has been fabricated and insinuated, namely by the same ever-so-candid, brilliant journalists mentioned above. From what has come out thus far from the investigations, the names of Juventus as a football club and its employees are squeaky clean, but this has not stopped the usual suspects from lighting their torches and doing what they truly excel at: throwing dirt upon the club which has made the history of Italian football and hunting for virtual witches as they live out their delusions of finally escaping anonymity and achieving grandeur.

The scenario feels eerily similar to one Juventini are familiar with: it’s the summer of a major football competition for the Azzurri; the existing football system is believed by some to be dysfunctional, deviant and unlawful deep down to its core; there are relatively unknown prosecuting attorneys and justice officials at work looking to catch the biggest fishes in the supposedly rotten pond with name-making, career-establishing, limelight-seeking hopes fueling their pursuits; there are shameless sports journalists from the very same outlets as that chaotic summer of 2006 scrambling to make all kinds of insinuations possible, to stamp GUILTY on the first foreheads they come upon, and to get inside information and publish exclusive scoops of the investigative process including believed suspects, secret testimonials, upcoming search warrants, impending arrests and even verdicts of trials that have yet to take place; the lives and careers of consummate professionals are being seriously jeopardized and unfortunately even forever stained with stigmas of criminal behavior in the public eye by the media and the responsible authorities without the latter two entities spending much time and effort into trying to understand if the accusations hold any water in the first place, all while what seem to be the true (self-admitted, in this case) culprits are currently being depicted as the terribly misguided, incredibly brave victims of a supposedly long-expired, truly toxic environment.

Are you nauseous yet? Perfect, welcome to the nonsensical world of Italian justice and sports journalism. A world where those who are guilty and who had been fucking the system for their own gains for years are showered with praise, described as heroes and are given a slap on the wrist as punishment for their ‘short, yet remarkable contributions to justice’, all while the same men who have built the system with their career-long blood, sweat and tears are mercilessly denigrated, viciously attacked, carelessly thrown dirt upon.

I’ll explain further what I have just written in a later piece coming very soon, but for right now, let’s spend some time to cover what exactly our Old Lady and its employees have been dragged into this mess supposedly for:

-F.C Juventus: three current players’, Gianluigi Buffon, Leonardo Bonucci, Simone Pepe and its head coach Antonio Conte’s names have been mentioned or become part of the investigation. All of the above mentioned excluding Buffon whose situation is slightly different have become part of the investigation for their previous involvements while under contract with other clubs, Bonucci while at Bari, Pepe while at Udinese and Conte while at Siena. Juventus, as a club, does not figure into the investigation.

-Antonio Conte: as of late May il Capitano is under investigation for conspiracy to commit sporting fraud and fraud during his time as Siena’s manager. Filippo Carobbio, a scarcely-utilized midfielder and former Siena player during the 2010-2011 Serie B season which has become a focal point for the authorities for his presumed confessions and collaborations is the man to have brought up Antonio Conte’s name. Carobbio’s accusations of Conte involve three games: Novara-Siena 2-2, Albinoleffe-Siena 1-0 and Siena-Varese 5-0.

In regards to the draw against Novara, Carobbio claims Antonio Conte told his team ahead of the game to “relax since we had reached a deal with Novara for the draw”. In regards to the away loss against Albinoleffe, Carobbio claims that there had been a pre-agreement for the second match of the season between the two teams at the end of the first one on January 8^th, 2011. Furthermore, Carobbio claims that this was known at Siena both at playing and directive levels, as he claims it was Conte’s assistant, Stellini who approached Carobbio and fellow Siena player Terzi asking them to contact the opponent’s side ahead of time and agree that when the two teams would meet again, the team in greater need for points would win. Carobbio claims that “during the week (leading up to the Albinoleffe game) there was much talk between club officials, players and head coach about the deal reached…”. The counts against Antonio Conte according to what Carobbio claims in regards to the Novara and Albinoleffe games would be for failing to report knowledge of a felony to the authorities and unlawful sporting conduct.

In regards to the thrashing Siena gave Varese, Carobbio claims that “a few days prior to the match, Ferdinando Coppola (former goalkeeper of Siena during the 2010-2011 Serie B season) entered the locker rooms with a pale, petrified look on his face and told us that shortly before outside the locker rooms, he had been approached by a man close to the president who had asked if the possibility existed to (try to) lose the match. This person, whose name Coppola told me but I currently cannot recall, had told Coppola that the president intended to bet or had bet on our loss. I’m referring to president Mezzaroma (Siena’s president and owner). The team categorically refused the proposal while suggesting Coppola to tell the individual he had been approached by that he himself had refused to inform the team of the proposal. I’d like to underline that Coppola himself was nearly in shock …. Later I learned from Stellini that the proposal had been made to the coaching staff and they had also refuted it.” In regards to the Varese game, Antonio Conte would once again be deemed responsible for failing to report knowledge of a felony to the authorities. As a result of Carobbio’s claims, there was a search warrant issued for Antonio Conte’s house, which was the subject of a search by authorities on the morning of May 28^th.

-Leonardo Bonucci and Simone Pepe: Leo has supposedly been on the investigative list since May 3^rd. His name has been brought into the mix by Andrea Masiello, a “pentito” and another one of the focal points of the ongoing investigation by the courthouse of Cremona which is where nearly all of the investigative work on Scommessopoli is taking place. Since Bonucci’s case is related to his time spent at Bari, his case and files are believed to have been transferred to the Bari courthouse, which is also performing its own investigation A former teammate of Bonucci at Bari during the 2009-2010 season, Masiello has made Bonucci’s (and Pepe’s name) in relation to a Udinese-Bari 3-3 of the aforementioned season. Masiello claims that “Di Tullio (one of the bettors under investigation by the Bari courthouse) proposed to him for the match to be manipulated for a draw with many goals”. Masiello’s testimonial states that “I informed my teammates about the proposal and found agreements. I spoke with Bonucci, Salvatore Masiello, Nicola Belmonte and Alessandro Parisi”.

As far as Bonucci in specific is concerned, Masiello claims he spoke to Leonardo after he had come back from international duty and the latter told him “If it’s possible, we’re interested”. “Once we arrived in Udine, Salvatore Masiello contacted Simone Pepe by phone asking him ‘if he wanted to buy a Ferrari’, with Salvatore Masiello eventually telling Andrea Masiello “No, Pepe told me no” “. Ultimately, according to Masiello, the match-fix was unsuccessful: “although we hadn’t reached an agreement with Udinese’s players, as far as I had been told, myself, Bonucci, Belmonte and Parisi played to reach the result Di Tullio aimed for by facilitating the scoring of three goals”. The transfer of Bonucci’s files from Cremona to Bari has supposedly postponed Bonucci’s upcoming search, as he was supposed to be the recipient of the same search Domenico Criscito got while on international duty on May 28^th. Bonucci’s counts would be for attempted unlawful behavior according to Masiello’s testimonial. Bonucci himself has denied all claims made by Masiello, while stating that he had been on international duty the week prior to the Udinese match.

Pepe’s counts would be for failing to report knowledge of a felony to the authorities. Simone Pepe was in fact expected to be heard by Stefano Palazzi, the federal prosecuting attorney (yep, that same Palazzi of 2006) yesterday on June 13^th , where he was going to testify his version of the story. He was reported to have spoken with Palazzi’s collaborators for roughly 45 minutes. Interestingly enough, Salvatore Masiello’s testimony of the 12^th, categorically denied a phone call made to Simone Pepe, with Bari’s former defender Alessandro Parisi stating the same and claiming “Udinese-Bari was a regular game”.

-Gianluigi Buffon: to be perfectly honest, I don’t think even Buffon himself knows what his name is in all of this for. I’ll try to make some sense out of it. On May 26^th, Gigi Buffon, while on international duty ahead of the Euro Cup, when asked about the possibility of losing his head coach due to the betting scandal unfolding by journalists, while underlining his confidence in Conte’s innocence, good judgment, character and stating he didn’t fear Conte being taken away since he thought Antonio would be going nowhere, stated: “Those who know football and live it day after day know what happens. Sometimes they say it is better having two men wounded than one dead”. Buffon’s honest, direct, free-speaking interview generated much discussion and the ever-opportunistic, completely shameless hyenas of the Italian media immediately began speculating among others on Buffon’s character, whether Gigi had something else in mind, how the prosecuting attorneys from Cremona (dis)liked his words and if they were considering calling him in for a few questions as a possible betting suspect.

The journalistic terrorism he was the victim of led to Buffon blasting journalists for their reactions in a press conference he gave on May 30^th while at Coverciano. Gigi highlighted his displeasure at their reports in regards to his words days before, while ripping into them for their always theatrical and morally-false approach, as evident by the microphones and cameras present in the early morning of May 28^th in front of Coverciano’s entrance as Criscito had yet to be met by authorities for his search. Buffon talked a lot, criticized the media and the power it constantly displays on the public opinion and the news reported and his fury was not greatly appreciated by sports journalists. Just days later, reports emerged of money movements of more than 1.5 million Euros at the smoke shop/convenience store and betting center Alfieri of Parma on Gigi Buffon’s behalf. And the media unleashed all of its fury upon Buffon in revenge, practically depicting Gigi as a low-life criminal who has made big-money bets on illegal matters (fellow Serie A games). The Parma shop was searched by the Turin Guardia di Finanza a few days ago and although Alfieri’s shop was first believed to have been a betting location with an abnormally high winnings payout values, this has been refuted by the authorities as they determined the Alfieri 2012 average to be 77 to the national 2012 betting payout average of 81.5.

For now, Buffon’s issue has been somewhat put on the backburner by the authorities, the only ones prosecuting Buffon with possible verdicts continue to be Italian journalists with trite articles speculating on what awaits Gigi once he returns from international duty.

That’s it for now, I hope to have made things a bit clearer, while not sedating you to death. As far as I’m concerned, every Juventino, young or old, fan for a year or fan for a lifetime, fluent in Italian or not should have the chance to understand exactly what for Juventus and its employees names’ have been mentioned. A second part is already in the works, where I aim to highlight the ridiculous aspects of this enormous witch hunt, as far as Juventus is concerned. Until then:

GIU` LE MANI DALLA JUVENTUS

Juventus 2011-2012 Season in Review: The Defenders

UneFitojPaGjyqeDhePershkrime — Tue, 29 May 2012 00:12:29 -0000

I’m a firm believer in the phrase "great teams are built from the back". It is old, it is cliché and I am most definitely biased to it due to my affinity for playing as a defender for most of my life while being a defensivist, counter-attacking bastard of whom Nereo Rocco would be proud of, as the dozens of tactics I’ve employed in my Football Manager files prove (currently playing a 2 DM 4-2-3-1 in my FM12 PSG save). The truth in it is well-documented throughout the Old Lady’s history and as far as the Juventino in me can recall, every successful Juventus side was characterized by an excellent defense.

The 2011-2012 season was wonderful, highly successful and without a doubt made possible by the solid consistent and efficient defensive efforts displayed by the men who lined up in front of Buffon and Storari.

Defensive report cards after the jump.

Giorgio Chiellini: 7.5

You’ve probably noticed my love for Chiellini the athlete, Chiellini the center back and Chiellini the defensive leader of the post-Calciopoli Juventus around here. Not only did the completefuckingmess that were the previous two seasons hamper his further development as a player, but they made a number of fans and pundits believe he had regressed into nothing more than a decent, expendable center back and not the indisputable defensive pillar Juventus needed. As of May 20^th, these same individuals have last been seen on milk cartons in the dairy aisle of your local neighborhood grocer, if you or anyone you know have any news in regards to their thereabouts, please contact 1-800-GOT-NEWS immediately. After a short period of adjustment at the beginning of the season, Giorgio returned the one we all know and love. He played in 37 season games, instilled confidence and serenity in Conte, his teammates and fans alike, all while playing a crucial role at the heart of Juventus’ defense. The importance of his presence is displayed in not only the impressive numbers he put up: 34 Serie A games, 2 goals, 1 assist, 4 Man of the Match performances, 7.55 average rating, but also in the sheer volume of work he was responsible for: 3.1 tackles/game, 2.4 headers won/game, 3.6 interceptions/game, 6.5 clearances/game, 65.5 completed passes/game. Remember Chiellini the center back with mediocre offense? Giorgio completed an average of 87.4% of his passes, and my favorite stat of them all: completed 17 successful dribbles, while being dribbled by opponents 16 times.

Andrea Barzagli: 8

The best defender in Italy. The most consistent performer of the Marotta era since his purchase. If it weren’t for Pirlo joining Juventus on a free last summer, Andrea Barzagli would be the best purchase Marotta has done, period. They should remake the Lupin III tv cartoon series into a full-length feature with Beppe Marotta playing Arsene Lupin for what he did to Hoeness. I can’t think of a measure as to how much Barzagli has impressed me since his arrival. There’s really not much of a need to go to great lengths with numbers to analyze his season, the man was a breathing wall. His performances simply fantastic, his presence in Juve’s defense pivotal in both ensuring the great season Chiellini played and helping with Leo Bonucci’s development as a central defender.

Leonardo Bonucci: 7.5

I’ve always liked Bonucci, but as you’ll probably recall from the hundreds of sentences I’ve written about him both on the Juve Offside and here, his performances from time to time have brought me grief. In his first season with Juventus from Bari, he seemed like a good, promising defender with one unfortunate vice: always making sure to find a way, no matter how silly the former might be, to fuck things up. In his second year, he showed the full spectrum of his game during the earlier part of the season. Leonardo offered generally solid defending with questionable decision-making for a good part of the 2011 Fall. There was a negative period for him where he seemed to be always part of the problem, despite often being unfortunate and finding himself in the wrong place at the wrong time (see Drame` goal against Chievo). And I thought I was seeing the same Bonucci I had gotten used to - the Bonucci whose final season grade would have been a 6-6.5. And then, sometime around late February Bonucci played tremendously one week And he elevated his game some more the following month. And then he played some overall superb football all the way up until the end of the season. Not only did Leo play better defense, but he was crucial in some delicate moments: all 3 of his Man of the Match performances in 2011-2012 came during the last month and a half of the season. With Juventus looking to surpass AC Milan at the top of the table with a win at Palermo in early April, Bonucci scored the go-ahead goal off a corner, hit the woodwork off another, helped keep Palermo scoreless, while being the best player on the pitch. His long ball for Vucinic’s goal in the Cagliari game allowed Juventus to break the deadlock early and play with far less pressure for a big part of the game. Interesting to note, despite Bonucci seemingly fulfilling the duties of the ball-playing defender in support of Pirlo in Conte’s tactics, out of the Chiellini-Bonucci-Barzagli trio, he was the center back who attempted the least number of total passes, wasting possession was something I’ve harshly criticized him in the past for: Chiellini: 1947/2227 (87.4% pass completion rate), Bonucci: 1406/1591 (88.4% pass completion rate), Barzagli: 1618/1817 (89% pass completion rate). Bonucci’s passing ability is highlighted by his successful long ball and through ball numbers: 186/266 successful long passes, 5/5 successful through balls, compared to Barzagli’s 126/174 successful long passes, 2/4 successful through balls and Chiellini’s 129/173 successful long passes, 2/6 successful through balls. Ultimately, Bonucci also played the least number of games out of the usual starting 3 CB’s. If Leo can improve on his tackling, his positioning and his 1v1 he can become even more impressive.

Martin Caceres: 6.5

You know you’ve made it as a club when you can afford to have Martin Caceres as your defensive jolly. Jokes aside, raise your hand if you’re happy to have Martin back! It’s great having one of the only positive notes of the disastrous 09-10 season back at the club, and completely healthy. Martin returned to Juventus halfway into the season from Sevilla. 1.5 million loan fee and a pre-agreed future purchase fee of 8 million Euros. And he was a very solid addition. His debut was nothing short of magical, 2 critical goals at San Siro against AC Milan followed shortly by another score off a corner against Julio Cesar and friends to give Juventus the lead. His versatility was definitely put to use, as he collected 11 Serie A presences, 3 Coppa Italia appearances, slotting in at CB when needed, giving Lichtsteiner a chance to rest as a RWB and even being substituted in against Lecce as a LWB when De Ceglie picked up his season-ending injury. The latter contribution was probably the least impressive of his Juventus season and the level of his performances varied quite a bit but his ability to play at multiple positions, and do so competently, his age, his goal-scoring make him a pleasant addition and someone I’d like to see part of Juventus for many more years.

Fabio Grosso: No grade

Stephan Lichsteiner: 7.5

whoscored.com, my source for all of the statistics I have used in this article, has a blank white space in the "Weaknesses" category for Stephan. Sounds about right. Do I need to say more? Alright, fine, I’ll actually give Licht a normal summary like every other defender. Marco Motta was his predecessor. Okay, okay, I’m done. 40 appearances last season. This man is A RELENTLESS MOTHERFUCKING LOCOMOTIVE AND HE WILL ROLL YOU OVER IF YOU ARE ON HIS SIDE OF THE PITCH. Promise that was the last one. The right back position in the post-Calciopoli Juventus has been the source of disappointment, insecurity, frustration, violence towards nearby inanimate objects (in my room, at least). For every 5.5 Zebina played, every yellow he collected, every cameraman he slapped, I’d take a shot. Believe me when I say this, cirrhosis is a bitch. And then, along came Marco! The first full back with completely nonexistent defense AND ferociously mediocre attack, the greatest 1-2 punch known to man - so great, George Foreman pales in comparison. But in all seriousness, Stephan isn’t getting a 7.5 because he’s an upgrade on the atrocities (minus Birindelli) that occupied his position the first 4-5 years after Calciopoli. In my mind, after Pirlo and Barzagli, Lichtsteiner is Marotta’s third best buy. A player who has been as reliable as any on that right side ever since he made the move to Serie A and Italian football, Licht played a fundamental role for the scudetto. A joy to watch, he runs endlessly, works relentlessly during both phases of the game, talks minimally, is the best right back in Italy for two years, now and displays a wonderful attitude on the pitch. A warrior whose forward runs started the season for Juve and when him and or the MVP midfield members were tired, the difference was immediately noticeable and games became more difficult for the Conte and his men.

Paolo De Ceglie: 7

The 2011-2012 season was a good one for Paolino. He started off with a red card and some generally average performances, only to eventually regain the form he had displayed last season prior to the injury at San Siro. A solid, productive season, an important stretch of good performances in mid-March against Genoa, Fiorentina, Inter, Napoli and Roma and the slow, yet noticeable improvements in his overall game seen from the De Ceglie of the last few seasons make Prandelli’s decision to not even include him in the initial 32 man selection a silly joke. Balzaretti is still a good LB, but his and Palermo’s seasons weren’t the best we’ve seen lately and Calcioscommesse crap aside, despite thinking he’s a solid option, I don’t see anything too impressive in Mimmo Criscito, while I don’t see him as much of a difference-making fixture on the left. But Prandelli is all about meritocracy, as the appointment of his son as a physio will tell you, so what do I know. Forza Trap.

P.S: Giu le mani da Antonio Conte, Leonardo Bonucci e la Juventus.

Round 36: Plus Three, Minus Three

UneFitojPaGjyqeDhePershkrime — Wed, 02 May 2012 04:10:23 -0000

The last midweek game of the season is here, and much like the last two fixtures, Juventus stands tall on the path to the scudetto, ready to erase the last shred of hope left in another troubled relegation-battler. After Cesena and Novara, Antonio Conte's hometown team is the club his men will be looking to push off the ledge in what is poised to be an exciting and nerve-wrecking week for us all.

I know, I know, the above masterpiece has left you breathless! I can't believe my own talents at times, either. First I put Dr. Seuss to shame, then I bless you all with this stroke of genius; I promise to build a life-size Marco Borriello play doh sculpture and put it on Ebay (proceeds to go to the "Help Marco Borriello Reconcile with his Long Lost Barber" foundation, donations are welcome).

The thrashing of Novara has kept us at +3 over Milan, who after visiting Conte's former team last week, host Conte's former former team, Atalanta. The similarities in the last few rounds are impressive: Juventus faces relegation battler, after relegation battler, after relegation battler - the 20th placed team, the 19th placed team and now the 18th placed team; Milan's 35th and 36th rounds consist of duels with Antonio Conte's ex-teams, both of them newly promoted, both of them with not much left to play for as they are mathematically safe from relegation and both feature young, talented Italian strikers Juventus has been regularly rumored to be interested in.

Le Chiavi: Like the last few, on paper, this match is tricky and nothing short of a massive headache. As Danny mentioned in the Novara preview, a loss against Juventus would bring an already in-danger Lecce team awfully close to a season long trip to Serie B. Mathematically they would still have something to play for in the last two weeks if they were to lose to Juventus, but after a disappointing loss at the Via Del Mare against Parma on Sunday, Lecce is as desperate as ever for points and what better morale boost for a relegation battler than snatching a surprise positive result away from home against the league leaders?

Okay, now everybody knock on your desk, scratch your family jewels, insert traditional superstition ritual of choice here.

Good News:

Matri is back after his suspension
Juventus dominated what was believed to be a potentially complicated fixture of a similar scenario last week
Juventus has gotten scored on 3 times in the last 11 matches, racked up 8 consecutive wins while outscoring opponents 9-0 in the last 3 games alone
Lecce are depleted, evident by Serse Cosmi calling up just 20 players, 3 of which are goalkeepers, only 4 are defenders (Miglionico, Tomovic, Brivio, Carrozzieri); Massimo Oddo, an important starter for the Salentini was left home after picking up a twisted left ankle in the final, morning practice ahead of the trip to Turin
Antonio Conte has almost a full strength roster at his disposal ahead of Wednesday, with 22 players being called up, Krasic and Pepe the only absences

Bad News:

Simone Pepe is unavailable due to injury, as his ankle is still swollen and bothering him (cue Jorid sobbing uncontrollably)
Serse Cosmi, Lecce's manager who was expected to miss the match due to suspension will be on the sidelines as usual, after the Giallorossi's appeal was accepted, and his one game suspension was reduced to a 10000 Euro fine and a warning for suspension

Call-Ups Juventus:

1 Buffon; 3 Chiellini; 4 Caceres; 8 Marchisio; 10 Del Piero; 11 De Ceglie; 13 Manninger; 14 Vucinic;

15 Barzagli; 17 Elia; 18 Quagliarella; 19 Bonucci; 20 Padoin; 21 Pirlo; 22 Vidal; 23 Borriello;

24 Giaccherini; 26 Lichtsteiner; 28 Estigarribia; 30 Storari; 32 Matri; 34 Marrone

Call-Ups Lecce:

1 Gabrieli; 3 Di Matteo; 6 Giandonato; 7 Cuadrado; 8 Obodo; 10 Bojinov; 11 Seferovic;

13 Miglionico; 15 Ofere; 17 Di Michele; 18 Giacomazzi; 24 Muriel; 25 Petrachi; 26 Blasi;

28 Brivio; 40 Tomovic; 80 Carrozzieri; 81 Benassi; 82 Delvecchio; 91 Bertolacci

My Starting XI (3-5-2) : Buffon; Barzagli; Bonucci; Chiellini; Lichtsteiner; Vidal; Pirlo; Marchisio; De Ceglie; Borriello; Vucinic

So Close Yet So Far: A Short Tale of Delusion, Modern Technology Failure and Heartbreak

UneFitojPaGjyqeDhePershkrime — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 03:43:50 -0000

In the 87th minute,

Of the Milan-Genoa game,

I'm commenting proud,

As Prince the Griffin tames,

The boys have finally done it,

It took almost the entire match,

Now on to the next one,

We have that damn Juventus to catch!

The coach is a tactical mastermind,

Our attack way too strong,

Didn't Galliani brief this ******g ref?

What's taking so long?!

But wait a minute,

What is going on,

What is this wonderful revelation,

I'm hearing through my headphone,

My hands are shaking,

I think I just had a minor heart attack,

BREAKING NEWS: Cesena have scored!

They have clawed one back,

I can feel the comeback,

The Scudetto is near,

Juventus is now no longer,

At the top 3 points clear,

Suck it, Conte,

Bow down to Allegri,

This is our moment,

We will be crowned champions, baby!

The cameraman signals to no avail,

He looks distraught,

In a bitter misunderstanding,

We seem to have all been caught...

"Cesena's score has been called off"

"But why and how?!" an explanation I can't find,

Just like Allegri, Muntari's disallowed goal,

Persecutes my mind,

This is embarrassing,

There are no words left to be said,

I'm not very good at rhyming,

So I'll just hit "Embed".

Gira la voce di un gol contro la Juve e Mauro Suma esulta... (via nastrick)

In the 87th minute of the Milan-Genoa match, Mario Suma, Milan Channel director, die-hard fan and match commentator was informed by ~~aliens~~ his technical crew that Cesena had hit one back and tied the score at the Manuzzi against Juventus to 1-1 with just a handful of minutes left to play. This news was also posted on the big information screen of the San Siro, where delirious and ecstatic Milan fans began to celebrate at the thought of momentarily having cut the distance from the league leaders down from three to a mere one point. Mario Suma, quite enthusiastically, lost his mind, only to be informed by ~~none other than aliens, once again~~ his crew that no second goal had been scored in the Cesena-Juventus match, and the Bianconeri were still leading 1-0. Distraught and perplexed, he informs his audience that Cesena's goal had been disallowed, while asking for more information.

Ultimately, with his enthusiasm and spirit now well below his ankles, Suma learns that there was never a Cesena goal in the first place and utters: "What embarrassment, guys!" to his ~~alien friends~~ colleagues.

FIN

Allow me to re-introduce myself my name is...

UneFitojPaGjyqeDhePershkrime — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 02:56:51 -0000

~~Hov', OH, H-to-the-O-V~~

Maybe we should try this again with Jay-Z paused this time, okay? Okay.

Nah, just kidding, I'm bumping Carly Rae Jepsen right now:

Hi, my name is Jorid. I'm 21, I enjoy candle-lit dinners, long walks on the beach and Paolo Montero defending. You probably know me from the Juventus Offside days, where I commented under jorid22 and Simone_Pepes_Butterflies (fuck you, Disqus). I figured it's pointless to tell you how enveloped and obsessive of a Juventus fan I am in this introduction for two reasons:

All of us here are crazy for our Old Lady.
If you remember my incessant posting days on the Offside, you've probably noticed how much I love her already.

But just for a little background:

My Juve days began at the end of the '97-'98 season, where a seven and some change year old Jorid shamelessly chose to bandwagon the best club of the much followed (and still most popular football league in Albania to this day despite the rises to prominence of the EPL, La Liga and Bundesliga as of late) Serie A. The club was coming off of a pretty successful season, after having just won its 25th title in a century of history, had been a dominant force throughout the decade both in Italy and Europe and boasted a squad featuring, among others, Alessandro Del Piero. The same Alessandro Del Piero Andrea Agnelli handled piss-poorly for reasons unknown (attention and the desire to make a statement is my best explanation up to this point, both of which are awful motivations, but let's leave that for another day).

The rest is history after that '97-'98 season. Alex injures himself in Udine, Lippi resigns after a terrible season and the Parma debacle, Ancelotti comes up just short twice, Lippi comes back, May 5th, Gianni passes away, Nedved gets one match ban after foul on Guti and Juve loses against AC ChuckittoIbraandhopeforthebest, Lippi leaves, Umberto passes away, Capello dominates and sedates the entire peninsula only to come up short in Europe, Farsopoli, pain, Serie B, pain, trials, disappointment, more trials, more pain, more disappointment, fuck the 09-10 and 10-11 seasons and here we are. One month to go, one point advantage, seven victories away from a guaranteed double. I cannot believe it, this season has been the most wonderful of dreams. And to top it all off, I'm getting to write about my first love (as cliche` as it may be, it's true).

The news of John leaving was unexpected to me. I was surprised by it, and I was even more surprised when Danny reached out to me and asked me to contribute. Let me just say that if the journalism thing doesn't last for Danny, he's got a future selling ice to the Eskimos, or as a Juventus DG. I mean, he's pretty convincing. I'm talking Luciano Moggi pursuing Pavel Nedved circa '00 level of convincing. I'm pretty sure he inspired Sade's "Smooth Operator", as well (little known fact: I discovered the Offside in early '09 after a link I found in a Bleacher Report article Danny had written on Sebastian Giovinco).

Fast forward a month and a few emails later, I'm here writing this introduction. Just like Jose, I'm absolutely stoked to be here writing to you, it's an honor being considered a worthwhile writer to write for Juventus for all of you, and I promise to give it every ounce of creativity and thought in me. It's also an honor to be considered a worthwhile writer by Ivo and Danny to replace John, who did a wonderful job throughout his tenure both on the Offside and on here. Thank you, guys. John, wish you the best of luck and promise I will do my best to keep the quality writing that has always characterized this site and community going. Jose, here's to us writing only for victories and successes!

I apologize for the allovertheplace style of this piece, super long day. Before you think "this worthless hack forgot to take his Vyvanse again!", just wait. I think you'll enjoy what I have in mind for the near future.

With that said, HOLY **** am I excited for Sunday. Even with Bergonzi as referee, I'm dying for Juventus.

Especially since we're almost there.