Hello all.

This is not a post that is necessarily about the Kings persay, but it does involve our beloved princelings in terms of the overall discussion.

First off, I'd like you to take a moment to consider the current division layout of the NBA, and we'll discuss it after the jump

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Yes, a stupid pun titles this fanpost. Here's my problem. And it's a problem we all share as Kings fans. The acquisition of John Salmons is/was completely and inherently unnecessary, if not damaging to the current layout of this team and this franchise.

I'll fully dissect my points after the jump.

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Hey StR-ers!

This is not a post for your comfort or mine, and it's not a post featuring me talking out of my own ass, as cheeky as that would be. This is also not necessarily an April Fools post, though I will be using painful puns at every opportunity (see previous sentence).

This is a post that explains my doubt that the Anaheim deal is structured solidly enough for the Kings to move after this season.

Jump it!

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Here we are. The last hour of the last day of the last month... etc. I, for one, knew it would come down to the last moment. One last desperation attempt at keeping the Kings in Sacramento.

If the Kings stay, what will that mean to me? What will that continue to mean to me? How do the Kings translate to my life?

How important are they to me?

Break down after the jump.

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Just a disclaimer:

This is in no way a trolling post or anything like that. Just some thoughts on the game and on your team.

IF there is any part of this post that you guys feel is a trolling comment, just tell me and I'll edit. I'm going to be very careful as to not tickle any sensitivities.

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Hey all! You know what always helps get me through tough times?

Substance abuse.

But also, limericks! Explanation of fanpost after the jump.

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Hey guys! Your friendly VenomySnicket here, to explain to you the exceedingly simple workings of most of the 'memes' that one might see in any random comment on anything.

A Meme is: a postulated unit of cultural ideas, symbols or practices, which can be transmitted from one mind to another through writing, speech, gestures, rituals or other imitable phenomena. (The etymology of the term relates to the Greek word μιμητισμός ([mɪmetɪsmos]) for "something imitated".) Supporters of the concept regard memes as cultural analogues to genes, in that they self-replicate and respond to selective pressures.

But of course, Eric Maynor dictates that I do this after the jump. 

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I think we all agree that Jennings is about 40 or 50 paces behind these guys, so I'm here to present my opinions on the merits of both of these guys in the race. A majority of the Kings fans (including me) think the trophy is Evans' to lose at this point. I'll go ahead and break it down after the jump.

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There I was, in hostile territory, proudly wearing my Turner jersey, surviving the heckling (never as bad as Oakland though,) waiting for my moment. 7-0. Standing up, motioning touchdown like I was the Ref. A few less than polite "sit down"s were directed my way.

Roddy White. 31 yd TD. I could sense it being a big day for that man.

via photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net

So unassuming.

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KWOD 106.5

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Preface: I am a Kings fan.

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You know that one play? That play that sucks all the excitement out of the building? Or that one play that just puts the crowd into a frenzy? That play that absolutely stabs the other team in the heart?

This is kind of what I am referring to as a soul crusher. BUT, today, its less of a spectacular play and more of WHO actually does the spectacular play.

The kind of play by a certain player that makes you as a fan feel as there is no more hope in the world.

My first example: Your team, down 15 to the Cavs starts a little run to bring it within 5. Then after the ball is inbound, Lebron takes it and goes coast-to-coast for the and-1 tomahawk. now your team is down 8 again, and you are about to cry.

Another example. Your team is down 6 to the Hornets. Your guys are executing the offense flawlessly for easy layup after easy layup. Then the ball comes down the floor to Peja, who just pulls up for three regardless of the defense. Swish. Fine, your team comes down and runs another beautiful play. This time, the Hornets find West posting up. The double comes, he kicks out to Peja. Three. Your team is down 8 now. After another beautiful play opn offense leading to another two, CP3 is dribbling around like a maniac. Your guys are playing pretty good defense. Shot clock, 4, 3, 2, kick out to Peja and from 28 feet. Bottoms. A little piece of your heart dies with that last three. Your team is playing beautifully butnow they are down 9.

See what I mean? It could be anybody, but when its that one guy it makes it even more painful. Like you knew it was going to happen. Inevitable. But when it does, you would rather watch somebody run over fresh roadkill.

A few more examples.
Dwight Howard block, leading to a fast break, with Dwight as trailer. Then he raises up and dunks on everyone who ever lived in that city.

Paul Pierce. defended well. Iso dribble. pulls up. money. next possesion. same thing. next posession, he takes your dude to the rim. money. time out, game over.

Kevin Martin. Iso on the wing. Waits for his defender to blink, then all of the sudden he takes a foul, rises up from nowhere, and with one hand, puts it in the basket. From 19 feet. Like its nothing. Like you are nothing.

Jason kidd. Strips your point guard. throws an impossible pass to anybody, nobody, dunk. Then, he steals the inbound pass. Again, no look pass. Coach just stares. You turn off your TV.

Kobe.

Gilbert Arenas. Dribbles down. Pulls up from 26. Net. Jaws al the way back down the court. Steals a pass. Instead of going in for the easy layup, he pulls up from 30. zeroed in. you just got shot in the heart.

ANy other ideas?

Now, even though this is after a pretty big win (both for my psyche and the teams,) just remember my emotions are entirely in check. I thought this would be a proper time to discuss the rotation for the rest of the year.

My theory:

Jason needs to start. Sorry Mikki, but these two point, one rebound games are less than inspiring. Sure Mikki, maybe you get Shelden minutes. Keep him at 15-20 a game because at times, you just need a veteran in there. It is also nice to have his hustle and energy. But Jason has double what Mikki has. And frankly, I don't cringe when he goes in the post.

Greene needs minutes as well. I don't know where they come from, but maybe use him as THE primary John Salmons backup, and Cisco as the primary Kevin backup as well as him spelling Beno here and there.

So, here we go.

C- Miller, 25-30 on any given night. Hawes, 25-30 on any given night. Mikki maybe gets a few minutes here when we go small. NO SHELDEN.
PF- Thompson, 25-30 oagn, Hawes 5-10 alongside Miller, again, Mikki 5-10. NO KT and NO SHELDEN. Maybe Donte against the Warriors. but HEY
SF- Salmons, 30-40 minutes oagn, Donte gets 10-20 depending on how he plays, Cisco, 5-10 alongside Kevin
SG- Kevin, 35 at least depending on his defense, so 35-40, which leaves Cisco at about 10-15 here.
PG- Beno, 30-40 oagn, again either Brown or Jackson 10-15, and Cisco alongside Kevin and Salmons or Kevin and Donte for about 5-10.

I know the minutes don't mathematically work out correctly, which is why I arranged this so loosely.

Thoughts? BTW this plan gives Cisco about 25 minutes a game minimum, so I think that is just about right.

Clever name? Check. A few players, tons of fans? Check. Fun? Oh it seems we left that behind.

I went expecting to hear some people (namely Theus and the Maloofs) speak. Reggie did for like two seconds. I went to see some player interaction with the fans. I talked to Kevin, Cisco, Spencer, and Bobby brown. The actual events were alright, I would have liked to have seen the team do something like a dunk contest or something along those lines. They did do a three point contest, and they chose some fans who looked like they never touched a basketball before in their life.

Anyway, it was free, but it didn't rise to my not so ridiculous expectations.