Phillies' Halladay to get shoulder examined today (With Video) - delcotimes.com
Chooch's hammie gets another day's rest, and Worley tosses in full view of the public.

10 Degrees: Doc visit could spell doom for Phillies - Yahoo! Sports

Because without Halladay, their great rotation becomes merely good, and not enough to sustain a lineup that expects a guy with chronically shot knees and another with a slow-healing Achilles to arrive like Tywin Lannister at the Battle of the Blackwater

As long as Utley gets to play Injury Hamlet, I'm more of in a La Garde recule. Sauve qui peut! mood, but ymmv.

David Murphy: Doc? Phils' offense still No. 1 worry
Score runs, dammit! Then don't give them up! Then score more runs! Then don't give those up, neither! Sheesh.

Zoo With Roy: A Brief Memorial Day SRHPY (5.27.12)
If Halladay is placed on the DL, I know one little boy who would be very excited to spend a sore shoulder'd afternoon with him at a very special place with animals.

Crashburn Alley " Blog Archive " Qualls Ain’t Cutting It
But he's so durable.

P&P Conversations: Hello, Goodbye | pitchers & poets
The end of the Lance Berkman era is a big deal over at my second most favoritest baseball blog. So a new era begins: Do you follow the zeitgeist of Trout or Harper? (I choose Dom Brown!)

The Clumpily Arranged Beasts of the NL East

Fish Cap: Marlins 5, Nationals 3 - Fish Stripes
Five teams now separated by four games.

Braves Lose Eighth Straight, Fall To Cardinals 8-2 - Talking Chop
More amazingly, over 42,000 saw this in Atlanta. /nothingbettertodo'd

Minor Leaguers
Wear this hot little 1940s blue dress with sequins, busher, show some gams for the fans, sing "God Bless America," and meet me after the jump.

Continue reading this post »

There is something about Carlos Ruiz that will never be translateable, always just a bit hidden and inaccessible. He may not have complete mastery of the English language, for instance, yet there's a depth to the man that makes you suspect it's all a facade. And when he's angry, and his blood is up, the man channels it into equatorially hot baseball.

In a game that was billed as zOMG Bryce Harper vs. Cole Hamels 2 WHAAT?, Carlos Ruiz, batting cleanup for the first time since it's become painfully obvious he's desperately needed there, went 3 for 4 with a run scored and a double, snuffed out a run at the plate on a masterful outfield assist from Hunter Pence in the sixth (after Bryce Harper - BOO! - singled with Danny Espinosa at second base), took a foul tip off his right thumb/wrist in the eighth inning and stayed in the game, the tough sunufabitch. (After the game, Charlie Manuel said that Ruiz was being x-rayed to look at his right thumb and wrist.) It was a grand, public spectacle of a man playing the part of an upraised middle finger, psychically directed at some combination of umpire Gary Cederstrom and that part of his own clubhouse which insists on being deeply, profoundly, and unentertainingly mediocre.

Cole Hamels was his usual, fabulous self, pitching another great game to his seventh win of the season and prompting fanboys everwhere to surround their "Mrs. Cole Hamels" signatures with extra hearts and unicorns, especially now that he's gone with an ultra dreamy, shorter haircut. I mean! Hamels pitched eight innings, surrendering three walks and four hits, and striking out eight to drive his ERA down to 2.17 (2.09 FIP) and his Pay the Man! record to 7-1. The Phillies, meanwhile, were able to salvage one game from the division-leading Nationals, bubble up once again to one game away from the .500 mark, but stay only 4.5 games back in the clumpily talented N.L. East.

Honorable mentions need to be spread around:

• Shane Victorino was 2 for 4 with 2 RBI and hit a home run in the 8th to give the Phillies a 4-0 advantage. Mitigation: Bunted (his call? Manuel's?) in the sixth after Ruiz had doubled, prompting yet another "runner on third with fewer than two outs debacle," as Ty Wigginton and Freddy Galvis promptly swung away at the next five pitches (four out of the zone, and the one in the zone was a checked swing) to strand Ruiz. Eeeh.
  
• Small ball zaniness in the 7th inning, as Mike Fontenot doubled, Hamels sacrificed him to third, and Juan "The Happeninger" Pierre executed on the suicide squeeze for the small 3-0 lead, right at the point where the game felt for all the world like the Nationals would stir up something to tie the game and ultimately win it the fourteenth inning and sour the Sixers' mojo.
• Galvis made a tremendous play in short left field in the 8th inning on a Steve Lombardozzi pop fly that followed a Jesus Flores triple* (*Hunter Pence aided), the key play that kept the Phillies' lead at 3-0.
• Hunter Pence: two walks! An outfield assist! Mitigation: caught stealing. Doesn't go to the corner with anything resembling will or grace. Perhaps it's best we simply imagine him as an alternate-universe Dom Brown.
  

Meet me in St. Louis tomorrow. No room to fool around against the Cardinals. But meanwhile: Winning! You know, better than losing, maaaan.

Fangraph after the jump:

Continue reading this post »

Crashburn Alley " Blog Archive " The First Pitch
An elaboration on Victorino's first-pitch swing on Saturday night, in which we learn that Rollins' first-pitch swings are probably the main culprit behind his slow start.

Phillies Notes: New father Rollins gets some rest
This might be another factor. Congratulations to new dad Jimmy Rollins. Great, another distraction.

Phillies flounder in 2-1 loss to Nationals - BostonHerald.com

Pence is the most egregious of the offenders. In 15 plate appearances with a runner on third and fewer than two outs, he has advanced the runner a mere four times.

IT'S A BALL NOT A TREE YOU IDIOT

David Murphy: Phillies' struggles continue to mount
Primarily because they've got no heart. No hustle, neither.

We've Obtained Pictures of Pat Burrell Day Drinking and Grabbing a Girl's Breast in Northern Liberties Yesterday - Crossing Broad
Speaking of mounting.... Meanwhile, Hunter Pence can't get the guy in from third.

Inside the Phillies: No real rivalry 'buzz' came with the Nationals, who gave the punchless Phillies a routine beating.
Harper's too-smooth media training here lulls me to sleep. Wake me when he blows a post-HR kiss to Cole Hamels.

The Wild Rumpus of the NL Beasts

Homer is a bad name for a pitcher, but not as bad as Al Lowthreeinarow. Reds beat Braves, 4-1. - Red Reporter
Reds take a Leake on Braves. /PTB'd

Forget It, Mike, It's PNC Town; Mets Drop Everything in Pittsburgh - Amazin' Avenue

Turner Field will always be the Mets' House of Horrors, and Citizens Bank Park packed an awful lot of bad luck into a short period of time, but in the last five-to-six years, no ballpark has been the sight of more baffling Mets games than PNC.

It's a wonder the Pirates lose as much as they do, really.

Rockies Vs. Marlins Final Score: Colorado Starts With A Bang, Loses In A Whimper, 7-4 - Purple Row
Giancarlo Stanton broke a piece of the scoreboard video monitor with his grand slam off of Jamie Moyer, who walked four. So you know HPU Ted Barrett was on his game.

Minor leagues

Rolling out the tarp="other duties as assigned." Get yer ass wet after the break, busher.

Continue reading this post »

Two Grand, The Polanco Way
Also, the next game Polanco plays for the Phillies will tie how many he played with Detroit. Huh.

Forget Brandon Inge; letting Placido Polanco go was Tigers' worst mistake | The Detroit News | detroitnews.com
Funny, I thought letting him go was the Phillies' worst mistake.

Phillies Notes: Phillies' Pierre making the most of his chance

"It's hard not to play him," Manuel said.

.290 and steals! This was all foreseen!

90th anniversary: Last time the Phillies franchise at sea level
The first two months of this season have been brought to you by the Phillies Historical Society. (h/t Todd Zolecki)

The fine Philly tradition of sneaking into events - Philly.com
My friends still talk about buying tickets from "Eric," who in turn led us through a narrow opening between a concrete column and a metal fence at the Vet. What a bunch of suburban rubes we must have looked like. were.

NL BEasts

Bryce Harper Hits First MLB HR, Washington Nationals Beat San Diego Padres, 8-5. - Federal Baseball
didja hear? didja hear?

Reds Rally In The Eighth Against Venters, Braves Fall 3-1 - Talking Chop
Usually reliable Jonny Venters has been unusually unreliable.

All Squeezes Great and Small: Batista and Frank Frank Fail to Implode in Mets Win - Amazin' Avenue
El poeta strikes again!

Rod Barajas, Pirates Pitchers Lead Bucs To 3-2 Win Despite Bad Baserunning Decisions - Bucs Dugout
C'mon Phillies. If the Pirates can snap off a 3-game winning streak, so can you.

Minors

OK you college boys, figure out your little dance routine in the van. Links after the jump.

Continue reading this post »

Jayson Werth: I’m motivated by Phillies fans - Nationals Journal - The Washington Post

I am motivated to get back quickly and see to it personally those people never walk down Broad Street in celebration again," Werth wrote.

NY Mets beat Philadelphia Phillies, closer Jonathan Papelbon on rookie Jordany Valdespin's three-run home run - NY Daily News

For the Mets, this all means that their own division has become more intense, and more even. "I don’t think there is any question that all of a sudden, there is going to be a dogfight," Collins said.

Crashburn Alley " Blog Archive " No Flashback for Halladay
The data-driven case for worriedly rubbing your hands together in a mild kind of way.

The Story Of The 40 Phillies Fans Who Took A Bus To Nationals Park (And The 38 Who Returned)
L'enfer, c'est les autres.

The Argument for the Fair-Foul Bunt | pitchers & poets
Juan Pierre's value would skyrocket if the fair-foul bunt were re-introduced.

N.L. EastBeasts

Cubs Hit Three Homers In Foggy Win Over Braves - Talking Chop
LaHair of the dog.

Fish Cap: Marlins 4, Astros 0 - Fish Stripes
I was thinking about a week ago that the Marlins can't really be as bad as their record. Seven wins later...

Minor Leaguers
Hey you. Grabba buckit -n- go pick up them b.p. balls after the jump.

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He walked in beauties, stuck it where he could,
out stood upon his field and then - handled his own woods.
Opposing teams would shake and quake, and
Tremble in his his midst. Brave Laurence of Chipperdom
Excelled on many lists. He's still there, and that's all
Right. We wish him well, and all. Those tomahawks can
Scalp the bust we'll find, disgusted, in the Hall.

Juan Pierre: The new face of the Phillies?
If the face of the Phillies has an infielder's glove against its cheek. Dig this:

The evolution was summed up nicely in a show Pierre recently watched on the MLB Network that focused on advanced statistics. The premise of one segment, he remembers, was that sacrifice bunts don’t make sense. Pierre led the major sin sacrifice hits three times in his career. "I’ve always grown up playing the game, if you get the guy in scoring position, you get a better chance," he says. "With those kinds of shows, and now the GM and baseball people are more computerized, they look at straight numbers. A lot of what I do doesn’t show up on the box score or on the computer screen."

Inside the Phillies: Jim Thome struggling as pinch-hitter
The case of the aging Three True Outcomes guy who's having a hard time with two out of three of the outcomes. C'mon big Jim! Taterz!

Around the League, Around the League, Around the League

MLB mulls altering interleague rivalry series including Mets-Yankees, sources say - ESPN New York
In the new format, all of baseball will take September off to watch the Red Sox and the Yankees.

Beasts of the NL Easts

War of Stupid Attrition Won By Terry Collins; Mets Fall to Houston - Amazin' Avenue

The Mets' batters went quietly in the ninth against Enormous Piece of Human Garbage Brett Myers, and that's all she wrote.

Pirates' Bats Break Out to Clobber Braves 9-3 - Talking Chop

Clobber: 1941, British air force slang, probably related to bombing; possibly echoic. Related: Clobbered; clobbering. In late 19c. British slang the word principally had to do with clothing, e.g. clobber (n.) "clothes," (v.) "to dress smartly;" clobber up "to patch old clothes for reuse."

Diamondbacks 9, Marlins 5: Corbin Sole-id, Marlins Flounder - AZ Snake Pit
Don't think it will last, but I'm mildly surprised at the poor start by the Marlins.

Minor Leagues

Bus is driving through Sonic! Who wants what, you bushers? After the jump.

Continue reading this post »

Kendrick shelled as Phils' anguish continues
Outs! Outs! Damn spot-starter.

Injured Utley connects with Phillies in Arizona, takes batting practice
Progress. I'm guessing May 7. You?

Philled In: Pence Is Phillies Latest Injured Star

Pence was scheduled to meet with the team doctor Monday evening but he was under orders to keep his work to a minimum until a full diagnosis could be made.

Tuesday Ponderings

More Zen: In Search of Quality in Baseball | pitchers & poets
Moneyball meets Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Internet catnip for me.

Beasts of the NL Easts

Juan Uribe Proves 'You Can Do Better' - True Blue LA
Juan F. Uribe, goddammit! Dodgers 7, Braves 2

Jair Jurrjens Optioned To Triple-A Gwinnett By Braves - SB Nation Atlanta
Somewhat surprising.

Mets Double Their Displeasure, Drop Twinbill to Giants - Amazin' Avenue
Not a good night all around the NL East.

Washington Nationals have quality young arms - ESPN
There's that quality word again! New hotness. Guess who's old and busted?

The System

Now you all just waitaminnit. You think you're so hot with your smartphones and your Twitter accounts. Son, at the end of the night you're a minor leaguer. After the jump.

Continue reading this post »

Source: FanGraphs

Could Hamels' departure mean more offense?
"Net runs" is not only a post-burrito web-browsing phenomenon.

Manuel wants the Phillies to keep on running
And unshackle the inner Juan Pierre in all of us.

Worth noting: Polanco's power, Halladay's velo, Papelbon's workload
Polanco was hit on the elbow last night, and it looked like it hurrrrt.

Marcus Hayes: Pat Burrell: Not just a pretty face
Just in case you missed out on the Pat Burrell experience. Some great in-between-the-lines quotes here.

Beasts of the NL East:

Washington Nationals' Stephen Strasburg Gets "W" In 6-3 Win Over Houston Astros, But Steve Lombardozzi Shines. - Federal Baseball
Hope it's not an inverted "W."

Bay and Davis Go Deep, Gee Digs Deep; Mets Take Empty Turner Field - Amazin' Avenue

Braves fans must have figured Monday's series opener at Turner Field was a playoff game, since few of them bothered to show up.

How classless of Amazin' Avenue.

Minors:

Always after the jump. Because they're nobodies until somebody on WIP loves them.

Continue reading this post »

Phillies Notes: Phillies picking spots to use Papelbon
Not that I'm noticing, but Craig Kimbrel hasn't been real busy either.

Are you confident the Phillies will get their act together?
It's NONSENSE, I tells ya!

The Phillies Are Set For A Big Fall - Forbes
He doesn't mean autumn. Strange to cite Fangraphs on Howard's stats, but then miss the organizational rankings.

Despite loss, Phillies fans celebrate return of baseball | Courier-Post | courierpostonline.com
Fans were D.J. Jazzy Jeff'd to be back in the park.

Bay of Pigs, Baseball Style

Miami Marlins’ Ozzie Guillen in political firestorm over Fidel Castro remarks - Miami Marlins - MiamiHerald.com
What he meant to say was that Castro had great hands as a shortstop back inna day. Or that he thought the reporter was asking him about Juan Castro. In any case, the machinery of baseball journalism is going to be oiled by the blood of this worker today.

Miami Marlins manager in hot water for comments about Fidel Castro

The text of the Time article

Our Favorite Division

Houston Astros Win Again 8-3! - The Crawfish Boxes
Old buddy J.A. Happ was #allin to beat the winless Braves.

Mets 4, Nationals 3: The Irish Hammer Can Do It All - Amazin' Avenue
Santana! Now Pelfrey! Walk it off, Mets fans!

Around the League, Around the League, Around the League

"Motherf****n' S**t! Take Your Ass Home!" Or, Why The Baltimore Orioles Matter
For those of you pondering trips down to Baltimore at some point this season, this article is a must-read, despite a title that is NSFW.

Minors: You know where to take it. Back of the bus.

Continue reading this post »

I'll cop to the fact that I didn't watch nearly as much of this game as I wanted. Bathing kids, putting them to bed, setting up the guest room, filling plastic eggs, welcoming the guest, putting baskets together, moving laundry, and putting out dad-tax'd chocolate took some priority. But don't worry about me! I've got a life, and soon will be out saluting a buddy at a local taproom as he breaks his Lenten fast. In the background hummed the radio, the TV on downstairs, so I have the general themes. But I'll need help from the crowd to discuss the finer points of the game, so fire away in the comments.

Here are my takeaways:

• Charlie Manuel is sadly convinced that the team can't hit at all. Otherwise, how else to explain the first inning bunt by Jimmy Rollins (mitigating factor: it did net a run) and the odd handling of pinch hitters (Laynce Nix bunting- this time unsuccessfully - in the 9th; Jim Thome batting for John Mayberry later in the inning)? On the one hand, Manuel's not wrong. On the other hand, I worry that managing this team like it's the Go-Go Sox will make a team that otherwise scored runs just fine the last half of 2011 start to believe that it is the Go-Go Sox.
  
• Cliff Lee was fine. Bummer that he uncorked a wild pitch - his first since, oh, 2010 - with two outs in the 6th to allow the Pirates to tie the game. Walked two, struck out four, and threw 99 pitches in 6 innings.
• Rod Barajas facing Joe Blanton in a tie game to lead off the 10th in retrospect was probably bound to happen exactly in the way that it happened. The only twist tonight was that his shot missed being a walk-off home run by 6 inches or so, so we had to twist through another four batters before Alex Presley slapped a ground ball to the left side that was out of the reach of Polanco, fielded by Rollins, and then was just a tick late to Ty Wigginton's glove. Ballgame.
• Freddy Galvis sure can pick 'em! But he kinda has trouble with the hitting.

Phil Sheridan: Phillies fans can breathe easier
The agony of reading about it in the next day's paper. /Schmidt'd

Mayberry has 'awesome' opening day for Phillies
As most of the grit in Juan Pierre's game is in the outfield, Mayberry's defense was the real key yesterday.

Galvis makes (dubious) history in debut
Proposition bet: his DP/AB ratio will be (higher/lower) than Wilson Valdez's.

The last Phillies to make their debuts as starters on opening day were Larry Bowa and Denny Doyle in 1970.

Would have thought there'd have been more.

Phillies teeming with popularity
#teemtobeat

Phillies Salaries
Annualized for your pleasure. Papelbon's added $58 counts for this year.

Around the League, Around the League, Around the League...

P&P Predictions: Predictapalooza 2012 | pitchers & poets
Some of these made me guffaw.

Troy Renck, Rockies (troyrenck) on Twitter
For those of you still awash in Opening Day excitement, old buddy and Rockies beat writer Troy Renck has a nostalgia-washed timeline this morning.

National League East Roundup:

Mets 1, Braves 0: Johan's Brave New World - Amazin' Avenue
Return of Johan. And David Wright is a clutch hitter!

Everything Goes As Planned In The Washington Nationals' 2-1 Opening Day Win Over The Chicago Cubs. - Federal Baseball

Strasburg, Werth and Lidge. O my!

Hey, carry your own bags past the jump for the minor league links.

Continue reading this post »

Ah, a new season, two new leagues, and, come this weekend, full slates of games. We've wheeled and dealt our way through Spring Training on another thread (thanks, Trader JoeCatz). It strikes me that this is as good a time as any to start a new thread for our respective TGP Fantasy Leagues.

Also, I'll inveigh upon our League presidents to provide us with monthly standings updates so we can see how the other half is living.

May your strikeouts be plenty, and your homers come with many men on base.

Nine days after the Phillies won the 1980 World Series, Laynce Nix was born. As Mike Schmidt was the series MVP, his parents had no choice but to give the young babe the middle name of Michael. Along with a superfluous Y. Why? Because, of course, he would be destined one day to be a Phillie, one who would hit like Pedro Feliz, who, as fate would have it, would be the next third baseman to win a World Series with the Phillies. And Ricky Ledee, too, who was also a Phillie. It was written in the stars, and the numbers bore it out.

But ah! Ricky Ledee. He had hemorrhoidal surgery when he was with the Phillies, probably because he spent so much time on the bench, we wisely cracked from our new blue seats at Citizens Bank Park. Oh how we would laugh and laugh, but this was long before we ever felt the fire down below ourselves. Yes, how Ledee could act, for love of the game. And here is a nice picture of Ricky Ledee looking at a seagull. He is a Met in the picture, which makes it somehow funnier, because the Mets are swirling in a state of never-ending pathos and schadenfreude, from which they cannot extract themselves, not now, not ever, not unless they get incredibly lucky.

Speaking of getting lucky, from the looks of things, Nix was brought in by the Phillies to provide some late-inning lefty power off the bench when the team is mostly and already well behind. And maybe to teach Dom Brown how to make a spectacular catch every now and again. To beguile bloggers with how close his name sounds like "dance mix." And to be big and muscle-y.

Because this year, he will bat like our whole world depended upon him. Nix is the one.

Continue reading this post »

Note. For the most angst-laden 2012 player preview, I've teamed up with blog pal schmenkman for a two-parter that will encompass both sides of the brain (we've done this before). At some point in the near future, schmenkman will give you the computer numbers. For this afternoon's consideration, I humbly submit:

Of Mere Playing

The Dom at the end of the bench,
Beyond the last scrub, rises
In the spring dugout.

A gold-plated tag
Sticks to the Dom, without humans thinking,
without humans analyzing, on philly.com.

We know then that he is not the reason
That makes us happy or unhappy.
The birds flip. Their bloggers opine.

The Dom stands on the edge of sink.
The wrist heals slowly by the phalanges.
The birds' race-baited digits bring us down.

h/t Wallace Stevens

Huh.

So, this game is on the MLB Network. Fewer starters in today's game.

Hey, and Hunter Pence has already hit another home run in the first inning. And Dom Brown hit a triple! We are left to ponder how the hell Freddy Garcia had the season he did last year for the Yankees.

Roy Halladay starts for the Phillies.

Discuss the scrubs game below.

The white smoke is up, and I, your Venetian-blind enshrouded, shadowy TGP Fantasy Baseball Commissioner, have poked through the expressions of interest and the small unmarked bills and have arrived upon our participants for this year, using the aforementioned Delphic Oracle calculation.

Congratulations to this year's players. I'm grateful to the volunteer league co-presidents for enabling even more computer-number-aided baseball, and interested to see how the two leagues and products go. Thanks too to the donors who have once again made fantasy baseball free. This better work (just kidding).

Team Owners: E-mail the league co-presidents (email addresses listed below) so they can get an invitation out to you. You'll be able to name the team whatever you want, but I do recommend that you stay close to your TGP handle to minimize confusion and maximize the season-long smack-talk.

One change from the last post: Mark your calendars for the draft date to Sunday, March 11 - one week earlier than I last wrote, freeing us all up for traditional mid-March sporting events. Each league can work out the time depending upon the geographic spread of its participants.

In the meantime, we'll finalize team roster spots, stats, transaction deadlines, etc. As the league worked pretty well last year, we're going to model both leagues on that one as best we can (if you need to start working on your depth charts right away).

For those few of you who didn't make the cuts, my condolences. There are a bunch of folks in multiple leagues who might be looking for another player. Keep commenting and posting on the site. Many included this year were just like you last spring.

Participants listed after you jumpit the click.

Continue reading this post »

Just like the real players do, it's time for all of us TGP Fantasy Players to report to the blog for the first organizational meeting. I'm sure it will come as a relief to more than a few of you out there to know that you are spared the bodily fluid tests. If everything else checks out, it's game time.

The purpose of this post is to outline our fantasy league structure(s) for 2012. Individual leagues will get into the nitty gritty of transaction and roster details, etc., later. This is one last check for interest, as well as a call for responses from those with veteran clubhouse (fantasy) presence as to where you'd prefer to play. Based on your responses, we'll make final participant selections by next week (I'll aim for Wednesday so we can get on with our lives and, you know, do meaningful stuff like comment on the FSU game thread).

Please read below and comment.

Continue reading this post »

Player pages: Fangraphs; Baseball-reference

The good news about Jose Contreras is that, at this point, you might as well just continue to list his age as 39. Because like your Aunt Lisa, who can tell for sure these days? Now in the second year of a two-year, $5.5 million deal, the Phillies hope that Contreras can return to his 2010 form following a 2011 season that was twanged by arm injuries and ended, in late August, under general anesthesia and near the knives, strings, and bionic parts on the tray near Dr. Lewis Yocum's hands. Regrettable, too, because in both 2010 and the limited time we saw him pitch in 2011 (17 games, 14 IP), he was pretty good (3.86 ERA, 3.10 FIP, 3.99 xFIP, 0 HRs allowed, and his five saves in 2011 even beat Bill James' projections by two). It was a small sample size to go on, but while his K rate (8.4) stayed steady, his walk rate doubled (5.1), leading to the late inning, high-WHIP parade many of us thought we'd see when he joined the Phillies. To his credit, Contreras has been effective in the back end of the bullpen, and in a variety of roles (setup, closer, heartwarming son, and ohwhatthehelltryanotherrighty guy).

Just this week, Contreras has been cleared to pitch off the mound, so if all goes well, he'll be in the mix of a pretty crowded bullpen. You have to figure that part of the reason for that crowd is that the Phillies might have just woken up to the realization that most guys in their 40s aren't too good at throwing baseballs over 90mph. If he can match his former velocity with his rebuilt right elbow, figure the Cuban's ceiling will be a 2011-vintage Brad Lidge, crafty but effective, with the temporary spurts of bullpen roster zaniness. The blue-sky scenario here will be three effective months from Conteras before his arm falls off, during which time Phillippe Aumont will finally learn how to stop walking dudes in Lehigh Valley. You'll just have to endure a month of Charlie Manuel handing the ball to Chad Qualls as the setup guy before Aumont gets the ball, but c'est la vie.

The downside risk of Contreras never seeing the light of day from the bullpen again is probably minimal from a talent perspective, but certainly irksome financially. Multi-year contracts for bullpenners at the zenith of their powers is one thing, perhaps, but for guys in their late 30s, it makes the palms of the accounts payable department employees who handle the invoices from the team's contract underwriters understandably cold and sweaty.

Remember when blowing $5 million on a guy who contributed next to nothing to the team after the Phillies signed him was a big deal? Admit it: Now it barely moves the needle on your inner Annoy-o-Meter. Ah, what the hell. We like Big Truck. And we cannot lie.

Editor's note: Completely unsolicited this time, TGP received our old familiar digital recorder via FedEx yesterday, along with two pieces of paper: an invoice and a cease-and-desist order on all future installments of Veteran Clubhouse Presence(TM) if said invoice was not paid by the end of February. TGP has since started negotiations with SB Nation as well as Pat's representatives, Mike and The Guy, for serial rights. Not all details are worked out, but they permitted us to transcribe the following, as well as provide The Complete Set of Links to previous episodes of Veteran Clubhouse Presence, below.

The transcript follows.

YO, nerdos and nerditas, and blogarogadingdongs everywhere, it's me, your old pal Pat. First, let me unzip a little here on your website and just note that my wonder boy agentarinos, Mike and the Guy, just pointed out to me a couple of things, and I gotta be honest, they piss me off:

One: I do you little asswipes a favor, try to give you a glimpse, a taste of what life with The Bat is like, and while at least you got the transcript part right, goddamnit, some of your comments are really mean - you really didn't think I'd get a job last year? I'm a machine, true, but I got feelings. Damn. And a dog who's increasingly incontinent. I could send you losers worse than this packet with a recorder in it.

Two: My boys say that they noticed that you've got some ads on that site, real thriving businesses too, like Blockbuster and laptop computer companies and Head & Shoulders and whatever else you dorks need to keep up your sorry appearances and nurse your light beers through the night before you go home alone and take care of your business.

So, Three, and Listen Real Careful Here: They drew up some papers, said sign them Pat, teach these pricks a lesson, plus you gotta start thinking now that your financial picture is changing. Jam them up with a C&D or have them pay you. They said you guys are part of some big consortium or some shit, but they peeked at the financials, said that there's money there, so you wusses have to talk to them and then we'll get into a three-way negotiation and figure some way to get you paid, Pat. I said I liked both of those ideas in concept. Put some numbers on a piece of paper and I'll do my thing on that recorder thingy they sent me, and lay them out. So you're warned before you listen to any more of me, clickheads.

[If I didn't make it perfectly clear, there's more after the jump, blogarogadingdong.]

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