Wheaties Eater

  • joined Sep 21, 2012
  • last login Apr 19, 2014
  • posts 41
  • comments 4603

Graduate Student at the University of Chicago
Alumnus - Texas Christian University
Chicago, Illinois, USA

Fell in love with Chelsea years ago.
Favorite Player: Frank Lampard

Hobbies: Watching CFC, reading Tillich, drinking tripels, and stachifying footballers.

A Fan Of...

  • MLB Chicago Cubs
  • NBA Chicago Bulls
  • NFL Chicago Bears
  • NCAAF TCU Horned Frogs
  • NHL Chicago Blackhawks
  • FIFA Belgium
  • La Liga Atletico Madrid
  • EPL Chelsea
User Blog

Imagined Interviews: Under the Mop with David Luiz

We all know the man has talent as big as his hair, but that talent simply hasn't always translated to on-field success. His critics are as vocal and numerous as his advocates, making his every...


Imagined (Exit) Interview: On the Way Out with Juan Mata

Editor's Note: A reminder to the reader that this piece is complete fiction. It represents only the thoughts, hopes, and general emotions of the writer. Other writers would certainly create a...


Know Your CFC History: Pat Nevin

For the longest time, this was our only iconic "soccer" image. - via As an American, the football* world isn't something into which you're born. You uncover the...

Zhukova apologises

FYI: everyone does what Graham says, and Roman Abramovich's partner is no exception.


Imagined Interviews: Behind the Wall with Petr Cech

Editor's Note: This piece will be part of a series, hopefully. With enough positive feedback, I'll happily undertake the project of delivering a number of these posts, venturing into the minds of...


The Cutler Contract: Down the Rabbit Hole We Go

What (rather, where) is the Problem? A dejected Jay Cutler deals with the frustration of another playoff chance gone by. - via A new coach took over in Chicago and,...


The Juan Mata Experience

Much has been made of the relative absence of Juan Manuel Mata García from Jose Mourinho's squads this season. For many the consensus second name on the team (behind stalwart goalkeeper Petr Cech),...

Gus Poyet made Sunderland's New Manager

The ex-Chelsea man takes on life in the Prem league.


It Takes Two to Pivot - (Facial Hair included)

What follows is a simple breakdown of the options we've seen for everyone's favorite debate topic, the 4-2-3-1 pivot. Piven? via No, pivot. Look, we all know that...


My First Chelsea Game

I don't do these personal posts often. I don't like them, usually, and why should my personal experiences or interests matter to anyone else? However, I think that you won't find this boring,...


ACS - Lampard Preseason 13/14

The Man. - via Frank Lampard Jr. enters the 13/14 season with a shiny new one year contract, having taken his rightful place atop the club's most prolific goalscorers chart. The...


ACS Preseason Notice and Schedule

Alright, sports fans, that time has finally come. The results of our poll on changing the name associated with the title were as follows: Amateur Chelsea Scout - 35% Blue Witness - 21% C...


CPE Official List/Vote

Alright, lads and ladies, you all have been filling in your claims and a week is up, so it's time for our official Chelsea Player Expert list. Do me a favor and scroll through to make sure you've...


Ten years after publishing a story, the Daily Mail completes its extensive fact checking process. Well, that explains everything.


Chelsea Player "Experts"

A Gentleman's Proposition Now that all that WAGNHSSSSSSSS stuff is over and done with (good riddance!), I thought it might be good to start looking ahead to the next season in a different way....

Messi & FRIENDS in Chicago!

How did we miss this? July 6th at Soldier Field, Messi's charity event includes David Luiz, Edinson Cavani, Robert Lewandowski, and more!


The Only Sensible Way to Determine Transfer Worth

After weeks of discussion with several comm members, I've begun to be frustrated by the lack of consensus over transfer targets. Some heavily emphasize age, others wages and transfer fees, still...


Silly Season Open Thread - Part Four

Apparently, CRDM can't get his stuff together, so it's fallen to me to create a new thread, since I can't help but procrastinate during finals week. Let's see... this has to be of a certain length,...

Contrasting Torres and Cavani

Surprisingly sound case made by a writer. Good to be able to see exact numerical comparisons. Objectively done.

Remember this?

Beautiful team goal from a few years ago. Wish we could get that going again.


If Mourinho's "Wish List" were Fulfilled (Updated again!)

There have been a great number of rumors flying around now that Mourinho has returned to the managerial post at Chelsea. There were always bound to be bits of gossip; some will be reasonable, while...

WAGNHSSS - The Democratic Republic of Wheaties

We've given you two weeks to submit your entries for the 2013 We Ain't Got No History SSS, and over the next week we'll be highlighting some of the ones that really caught our eye (in no particular order), before putting them up to a community vote


Lampard v. Aston Villa: Reliving The Day the Earth Stood Still

The man. - via Well, since Graham did the tough bit, and did it better than I ever could, I'm left with just the task of commemorating Lamps' latest achievement in my own small way....


Make one of the toughest decisions of your life and choose from among Frank Lampard's best goals, ranging from the technically sublime to the dramatically important to the emotionally significant.


A Tribute to 202: Bobby Tambling

A few years ago, when he felt he was game to challenge for Drogba's spot in the squad. - via As most of you know, Bobby Tambling was Chelsea Football Club's leading...


Playing Devil's (but really, Ramires') Advocate

Hello folks! Me again. After the WAGNH-pocalypse that happened in the fallout of my Ramires Case Study, I thought I'd atone for my evaluation by doing the other half of the argument. I feel a bit...


Ramires vs. Tottenham: A Case Study

Let's talk a bit about Ramires, the midfielder.


Squad Assessment: The Chelsea Indispensability Index (now with 100% more poll!)

There once was a lad named ChelseaRDM, who at great personal cost endeavored to classify all who wore the glorious royal blue based on their merit. He went into the archives and dusted up the Paulo...

QPR fans get twisted over Cesar stunt

C'mon QPR, you're better than this. You're probably not, but ragging on your keeper from dressing up as his friend and countryman on the guy's birthday? Weak.


Chelsea FC: The Beginning

First off, you need to read this in your head as though a certain type of commentator is speaking these words to you. This post was a labour of love for me, and as such, it is fairly long. I...

Showing 1 - 30 of 41 Older
Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,


You must be a member of to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at You should read them.


You must be a member of to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.