http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/extramustard/06/29/charlie-sheen-interview-major-league-anniversary/index.html?sct=hp_t2_a12

I read it, so you don't have to. Worf loves ya, baby!

Here are the highlights:

* Reds fan, but switched to the Yankees because of Reggie, which only makes him an even bigger douchebag. (I didn't mind Reggie, but I wouldn't have switched teams for him)

* Got a tryout. Got his ass kicked.

* Steve Yeager is basically Tom Berenger in the movie. You see a baseball move, it's not Berenger

* James Gammon could drink you under the table

* Sheen had to throw on no days rest, hence the roids.

* He would do another movie. Of course he would.

* Dennis Haysbert could hit the ball.

* The Willie Mays Hays catch is CGI (or what passed for it). Wesley Snipes actually made the catch, but it didn't show on camera.

* He hated the lightning bolt haircuts.

* He is still a weird dude.

I suppose there is an interesting conversation to be had about the role of steroids in Hollywood. (Does anyone REALLY believe that Tobey Maguire, Matt Damon, Chris Evans, Hugh Jackman and everyone else who bulked up did it naturally?)

But maybe the next Hollywood star admitting steroids can provoke that.

I am done. I finished it. There are spoilers here. There is discussion of a TV show here. If you don't care, or if you aren't to the end yet, stop reading.

OK...we're back.

I am filled with rage at the sight of Stan Valchek and Scott Templeton in their glory. I am near tears over Dukie. I am giddy at Kima and Bunk busting each others' balls. I find myself strangely happy that Chris and Wee-Bay are friends in prison.

I want more.

Season 5 was by far, in my opinion, the weakest of the five seasons. As much as I enjoyed the Gus Haynes character's wit, I found the whole newspaper storyline to be a blunt instrument. Yes, Mr. Simon, we get that you don't like what the Baltimore Sun turned into, but be a bit more subtle.

The beauty of this show has always been that there are vew few heroes and villians. Templeton -- and his toady editors -- were one-dimensional. And while I agree that someone who makes up stories is horrifying to those in the industry, it is hardly the biggest problem journalism faces.

Simon lost me with the very first episode on the newspaper, when he had the exec editor stand up and say the Sun was closing its bureaus in London, Moscow and Jerusalem due to budget cuts. My first reaction was, "Why the f--- does a Baltimore paper have a Moscow bureau???"

For someone whose major thesis is allegedly that the newspaper doesn't have the resources to cover a city like it should be covered -- as illustrated by the poor coverage the deaths of Prop Joe and Omar received -- then why the hell doesn't it just rely on the AP for international coverage?

But I digress. I'd rather talk about the series as a whole, now that I have finished it.

It's been fashionable to say that the cycle goes on and on -- Bubbles becomes Dukie; Omar becomes Michael; Carver becomes Daniels; etc. etc...

But the heartbreaking thing is that the cycle seems to be gettng worse.

Bubbles at least had his sister, who gave him chance after chance until he broke the cycle. Dukie has no one and just threw his last friend, Prez, out the door.

Carver has the intergrity that Daniels did, but just seems too light, too conflicted, too compromised, to be able to rise to power.

Michael has a great smirk, but I just think he's going to be dead in two years. I can't reconcile the sweet kid with the master street tactician Omar.

Just as Marlo was worse than Avon -- who at least had a code and honor and family -- I fear the next will be worse than Marlo.

And yet Bubbles does get to walk up the steps. Bunk and Kima get to keep doing their thing. Prez is a good teacher. McNulty finally gets thrown off the job he was born to do, but would have killed him eventually. Daniels may eventually rise to power through the defense side of the courtroom.

We are left with enough optimism that we can hope that Dukie gets out; Templeton gets found out; Carcetti has some sex scandal and gets thrown out; and that Lester somehow becomes the greatest private detective ever while McNulty guards the hell out of a shopping mall every day and comes home to Beadie and the kids every night.

But we are left with just enough pessimism to believe that Michael's body will be zipped into the body bag before he's 30; Marlo will return and no one will remember the threat to put him in jail; Carcetti will be someone's vice president someday and Randy will come out harder and more vicious than Marlo dreamed of being.

In the end, I fear that most of them will end up like Nick Sobotka. I found that heartbreaking. The case cost him his uncle and his cousin and he had to leave his city for Witness Protection, but he was able to come back with no fear because no one cared.

McNulty and Lester and Colvin and Randy and the rest of the cast-offs could just disappear into the system, consigned to "Remember that guy?" That depresses me most of all. I'd rather see Randy kick ass on the streets that just get lost as a minor player. I'd rather see McNulty in jail for beating the crap out of someone who committed rape in a hotel where he was security than just be a nameless rent-a-cop.

In short, we can make this show everything we want it to be, depending on how we feel that day.

I want more. And I can have it anytime I want.

But I won't say no to Simon doing another year...

I am watching the NBA Finals. Usually, my sports cycle goes as follows:

* January -- Football, Football, Football

* February -- Key NBA games; College basketball tournaments; Spring Training previews

* March - College basketball

* April - First couple series' of MLB season, NBA playoffs

* May - NBA, keep an eye on Cubs

* June - Finish NBA; Full-time Cubs & Baseball

Now... I find myself wishing that the NBA finals was a best 19 out of 37 series.

The Heat and Blue Devils will be the champions of basketball. The Stanley Cup is being decided by thuggery.  College sports are a cesspool. Today's champion is tomorrow's blank spot in the record book. We won't have the NBA next year and may not have the NFL.

And our favorite baseball team could very well lose 105 games.

Well, no matter what happens, you can be sure of one thing.

I'm not freaking watching auto racing.

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118036351?refCatId=14

Sign of the end of days? Mike Greenberg AND Colin Cowherd both have shows in development that are based on their lives?

Of the two, I prefer Greenberg, because he's mainly harmless and at least appears to believe the stuff he says. Cowherd clearly doesn't believe any inflammatory word he says. He's like the worst elements of Limbaugh and Olbermann, without the political bent.

But -- and this is why this is a FanPost and not a FanShot -- this got me thinking about the inevitable Bleed Cubbie Blue show. Here is the casting:

Al - Judd Hirsch (He's still alive, right?)

Josh - The dude from Numbers -- the math one, not the cop one

Not Bruce - Rainn Wilson

dtpolitt - Dominic West

Shanghai Badger - Wil Wheaton

Worf - Michael Chiklis. If he's not available, then Timothy Olyphant. If he's not available, then Barney

Cubbie-Tim - Jim Parsons (Sheldon from Big Bang Theory)

TJ11 - Baby Bop

It's probably old news that the 30 for 30 Bartman doc got pushed back until spring. But I just listened to the Bill SImmons podcast where he discussed the latest episode "The Best that Never Was"

He said the Bartman documentary will be one of the very best of the series and the director wanted a little more time with it, to do a couple more interviews. He also said they have 10 minutes of footage of the event itself, with fan videos and cell phone cameras, showing the event itself and the aftermath.

Simmons called it 'Maybe the best 10 minutes of any sports documentary"

So, there's that.

This is OT. This is also full of spoilers. You've been warned. Shut up. No, I said SHUT UP. No whining.

It's all in the game, yo.

Now... I'm glad my friend Dan, who makes Barney cry with his meaniness, turned me on to this show. HOLY CHRIST ON A CRUTCH THIS SHOW IS FREAKING AMAZING.

I finished Season 1 last night.

HOLY CHRIST! OMAR LITTLE IS MY NEW HERO!

Is that wrong?

New catchphrases I plan on incorporating into BCB:

"What the f--- did he just do?"

"You happy now, bitch?"

"It's all in the game, yo"

"You gave a f--- when it wasn't your turn to give a f---"

And anytime a Cub does anything particularly badass -- maybe in 2012 -- I plan on making a comment about him whistling "The Farmer in the Dell" while playing.

Other random neural firings:

* I'd seen Dominic West in exactly one other thing -- he was the cheerful nephew in Patrick Stewart's version of "A Christmas Carol." Dear Lord did he change it up.

* Stringer Bell is the coolest man ever on TV. I used to think it was Avery Brooks' Hawk, but I may have to put Stringer up there. And frankly, I think Lester Freamon passed Hawk too.

* WALLACE! WHHHHHHHHHHY? OH WHHHHHHHHHHY?

I fully expect non-sequitirs and other bits of randomness. I deserve it. I'd do it to you.

I say OTish because this was a baseball documentary.

I really enjoyed this documentary last night.  It was part of the "30 for 30" series on ESPN that is kicking ass and taking names. Ron Shelton, who directed "Bull Durham," "Tin Cup," "White Men Can't Jump" and other sports movies, directed.

He clearly is a Jordan fan and takes apart some of the conventional wisdom that Jordan's sojourn to baseball was a failure. He pointed out that although Jordan hit .202 in AA, he hit over .250 in the Arizona Fall League, which is generally a top-prospect league. He led the team in RBIs and stolen bases and had seven game-winning hits.

Shelton goes a little too far, saying he is sure Jordan would have made the major leagues. I tend to think that Jordan was on the wrong end of the curve. I think his work ethic and athleticism would have led him to keep improving, but I think his body would have eventually started betraying him.

In other words, had he started at age 21, or even 25, he might have done it. But he just didn't have time to completely convert his body and mind before his body couldn't do it.

But I think that if he had chosen baseball as a sport, he'd have made it.

Other thoughts:

* Shelton attempts to debunk the whole "It was a suspension for gambling" thing. He points out that David Stern basically begged him not to leave. I'd also add that Jordan certainly didn't change his behavior after he came back.

* I was stunned that I had forgot the media -- irresponsibly in my opinion -- attempted to connect James Jordan's death to Jordan's gambling. Can you imagine if this had happened in 2003 instead of 1993, with blogs and the Internet? Can you imagine it today? Jordan might well have snapped and killed someone.

* Steve Wulf, who wrote the infamous "Bag it, Michael" piece for SI, which lead Jordan to boycott SI for years (hell, he may still be doing it) sort of apologized. Even more damning, he said that he went down to Birmingham again and saw Jordan doing better and tried to write a story basically saying, "You know, this SOB just might do this" and SI refused to run it.

* I remember that this was the first time I realized baseball was made up of a bunch of clannish, insular old farts who pretty much suck when it comes to thinking about new things. Baseball people were soooooo threatened by the idea that Jordan -- only the greatest basketball player ever and one of the top 5 athletes EVER -- could maybe be reasonable at the game. I rooted for him all through this time, only to see spitballing cheaters like Don Sutton -- who ripped Jordan at every turn -- get their comeuppance.

as manager of the Billings Mustangs (A Reds affiliate) of the Pioneer League. They play Ogden tonight, so let's all wish a former Cub a successful career!

Also in the Pioneer League is Jeff Fasero! He is a pitching coach with our own Boise Hawks!

Also, Tom Gordon is still looking to play. GETERDONE!

Wikipedia lists thousands of players who were once Cubs. They all have a story! Let's tell that story!

Or not.

As always happens this time of year, I am really into baseball books. I just finished "The Last Hero" a biography of Henry Aaron by former Boston Herald reporter and ESPN columnist Howard Bryant. Excellent stuff.

I particularly liked the post-playing stuff. I knew most of Aaron's story, but I wasn't entirely sure where he went from retirement to his re-entry into the public eye in the 90s.

Currently reading "Juicing the Game," also by Bryant. Fascinating at times, especially with the pre-1994 strike stuff. I'm about halfway through and I think Bryant is trying to hit too many targets at once. One chapter is the pre-strike stuff. Another chapter is technical details about steroids. Another is the battle with the umpires union in 1999. Another is Jason Giambi.

I'd still recommend it. I'd also recommend, "Lords of the Realm," "Damned Yankees," "Ball Four" (find one of the later editions, when Bouton writes a new epilogue reflecting on his notoriety); "The Umpire Strikes Out" and Robert Creamer's book on Babe Ruth.

Now, for my "Recommendations?" question. Here are topics and/or people I'd like to know more about. Help me with the best books for them.

I prefer biographies to autobiographies, because I find autobiographies horribly self-serving. I won't touch Fay Vincent's love-letter to himself, for instance. Nor do I care to read any of Canseco or Rose's crap.

Topics: (Some of these have multiple books. Which is the best?)

Willie Mays

The early 70s Oakland A's

The logic and machinations behind the creation of the DH.

The complete self-immolation of Richie Phillips and the umpires union in the late 90s

Stan Musial

1930s baseball (I think there is one called The Great Slump or something like that.) Anyone read it?

Any other topics people want to see done?

http://deadspin.com/5592645/dodgers-lose-another-one-this-time-to-the-rulebook

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I can't stand Mattingly or the Dodgers, so this made me giggle until I snorted. Snork!

As for the rule, it's kinda stupid, but it is a rule and something Mattingly should have known. And exactly what was James Loney asking? "Hey, Don, so, if the ball is hit to me, do I try to catch it!????"

Mound visits are idiotic anyway.

Kudos to Bruce Bochy. Had he not protested, the umps probably would have let it go. THIS is a manager who has his head in the game.

I'm jumping off a Posnanski blog post here. He states that, so long as Walter O'Malley and Tom Yawkey are in, then Steinbrenner meets that standard.

Here is the case for:

* Team won 11 pennants and 7 championships while he was owner and all but one came when he was actively involved in day-to-day affairs. Refused to accept losing.

* Set standard for the BUSINESS of baseball with cable network, licensing and other money-making avenues.

* Under the "It's a museum, not a shrine" argument (similar to Time naming Stalin "Man of the Year or Voldemort doing "terrible, but great things) no one had more influence on the way baseball players are paid and how free agency works than Steinbrenner. Argument should also be used to put in Marvin Miller, Pete Rose, and every steroid user.

* Made the Yankees, the signature franchise in baseball, relevant again. When he bought the team in 1973, it was a Knicks (two NBA titles in three years); Nets (Dr. J); Jets (Namath) and Mets (Just won the pennant) town. Within three years, had the Yanks in World Series.

Case against:

* Very few owners are in the Hall anyway and those that are are mostly founding father types or men like Connie Mack who really are in for managing. O'Malley and Yawkey are the exceptions and Yawkey is a joke. An unrepentant racist who had a lousy team despite having the best hitter that ever lived. Posnanski thinks that if Yawkey is in, Steinbrenner should be in and I despise that argument. Just because a bunch of bourbon-soaked idiots voted for one guy doesn't mean the next guy should be in.

* The whole Dave Winfield, suspended from baseball thing and the sinking feeling that Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera would have played most of their careers for other teams because Steinbrenner would have traded them.

* Mostly was an idiot in the 1980s.

My vote? No. I believe the standard for a pure owner -- not a player or manager who had a piece of ownership or owned a team late in the career -- should be some kind of major POSITIVE influence on baseball. I do not believe in the Man of the Year standard for the Hall.

I further believe that Steinbrenner, for all the love ESPN showed him, really only had one good run -- the mid-to-late 70s where he jumped on free agency faster than anyone else. In the 80s, the Yankees were overtaken by solid franchises like Detroit, Baltimore and Minnesota and his main contribution to the late 90s Yankees was not getting involved.

But... to the POLLS!

Yes, I know he lost last night, but he gave up one run and struck out 9. He is 2-1 with a 1.78 ERA, an 8 to 1 K/BB ratio and .95 WHIP.

I also know there was a thread about this in the FanShots, but that had more to do with mocking Joe Morgan, which is valuable work, but I thought the question deserved its own forum.

I say All-Star.

If you view the All-Star Game as an exhibition for the fans, which I do, then this is a no-brainer. He is by far the biggest thing to come up in years and he's already one of the top 10 household names in baseball. Put him in and the ratings go up.

If you view the All-Star Game as a real game, which i don't, then this still is a no-brainer. He has dominant, filthy stuff. There aren't 12 NL pitchers better than him or 12 other pitchers you'd want to help you win the game.

Someone should slap Bud awake, change his diaper and tell him to invoke commissioner's priviledge and put the man in the All-Star Game. I'll gladly give up the Cubs' spot on the team, if that helps.

I have had "Ready or Not" from the Zapped soundtrack in my head for the last two hours and I can't find it on You Tube. I found "Got to Believe in Magic," though. I'd forgotten how hot the brunette from Zapped was.

Then I thought about the great songs. I find "Win in the End" from Teen Wolf far superior to "You're the Best" from Karate Kid. I rewatched the fight montage from Karate Kid and you realize just how much they were protecting Ralph Macchio, who couldn't kick his way through rice paper. (Plus, by Karate Kid III, he was drawing Social Security and had the biggest ass this side of Jennifer Lopez)

Then I realized -- my fellow BCBers, on an off-day, might like to share my nostalgia and joy over 80s movie soundtracks. So, TO THE POLLS!

Missed the game. Was out of town all weekend and had other things to do last night.

Reading some of the recaps and stories now.

Did fans really boo Beckham's bunt attempt in the 8th inning? In a 1-0 game? Did they really?

If so, then those fans are too stupid to live. They are sucking up oxygen that we could use on more important things. They are taking up space that we could use to plant more trees. They are participating in a society that would be improved by their resignation from the human race.

I'm glad Lilly's no-hitter was busted now. Those fans don't deserve to see anything special.

Do not bring me baseball's unwritten rules. If the rule isn't written down, then it doesn't exist. Period. Shut up about it. When you're done, shut up about it some more.

7IP, 4H, 2R, FOURTEEN FREAKING STRIKEOUTS, No walks, 94 pitches.

That 94 pitches impresses the hell out of me. He got 14 strikeouts on 94 pitches. He faced 24 batters, which means it was an average of 3.91 pitches per at-bat.

That's freaking badass. He's in line for the win.

I'd make a joke about facing a AAAA team, but since the Pirates own the Cubs, I'll refrain.

Don't hate. He's the man.

Learn it, love it, live it.

I was gone most of the night and just caught the final score. My first reaction was disbelief, and then I made a stab at anger, but it wasn't there.

That's when I realized that I stopped caring.

I had a lot of fun the last two days here, talking about baseball issues -- like replay and Thurman Munson and Jamie Moyer -- that had nothing to do with the Cubs. It was a refreshing kind of "staycation" where we still talked baseball, but were away from the Cubs, which feel like work right now.

But now I'm done. The first Pirates series was the jab. The second series was the right cross and the first game of the Astros series was the uppercut that put me to the canvas.

Those of you who wish to join me, the line forms to the right. Those of you who wish to stay and fight on, more power to you. You have more strength than me.

This is something I hear about all the time on ESPN and other sports outlets. Supposedly, Selig has one of his commissions out there looking at it.

The SEC is now putting a 20-second pitch clock on the field and activating it when no one is on base. Take too much time and it's a ball. If the batter steps out in the last five seconds, it's a strike.

Also, the teams will have 1 minute, 48 seconds between innings. If the pitchers and/or fielders aren't ready after that time, it's a ball. If the hitter isn't ready, it's a strike. (No idea how they came to 1:48, but there you go)

Look, we can wax poetic about how baseball is the game without a clock and all that garbage, but the fact of the matter is, the pace is too slow. And it is a flat-out embarrassment to all that is good and pure in humanity that playoff baseball games end after 1 a.m.

At some point, you can't control things. You can't limit the number of times a hitter can foul off pitches. You can't limit the number of throws to first. And it is true that an exciting 12-11 game is going to take longer than a dull 5-1 game, so length isn't always a barometer of excitement.

It's more about pace than length. What can be done to speed up the pace?

If you think it's fine as it is, move on. The back button is right up there on the upper left corner.

* Put the 20-second clock on the scoreboard and enforce it.

* No more pitching coach visits. You get one visit and that's to get him out of the game. What the hell do they talk about anyway? "Throw strikes?" "OK!" Figure it out, boys. You're professionals.

* Catchers get one mound visit per inning. That visit will last no more than 45 seconds.

* As the manager is leaving the dugout to get the pitcher, the relief pitcher leaves the bullpen. No more waiting. If the starting pitcher can't handle seeing the reliever, then he should retire, hide in shame and never again feel the touch of a good woman.

* You step out of the box unless it's an injury, then it's a strike.

What else you got?

I had the day off and got to enjoy the game with Little Andre Santo Sandberg Neifi Aaron Miles Worfington. I was telling him, as he kept trying to cram toy after toy into his mouth, that such baseball games are a treat.

You had two evenly matched teams going at it and giving it their all. That's what makes baseball, and sports, great, really. You can watch two high school teams, or D-III teams, and get a good game, so long as they are evenly matched and motivated.

I am a diehard Cubs fan, but I have to say, if the Cubs and Pirates played all 162 games against each other, I think they would both finish 81-81. They are that evenly matched.

Yes, it looks like the Pirates will get the Cubs today, but it was close, and that's a moral victory.

What's that, son? The Cubs should expect MORE than being evenly matched with the Pirates? With our payroll and theirs, we should be beating them?

Why, that's CRAZY talk, son. Now, just enjoy the show. The Cubs this season won't get too many even matches.