SB Nation User Blog: Worf

Sosa pays tribute to Michael Jackson?

Worf — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 15:36:59 -0000

Sosa pays tribute to Michael Jackson?

OT - Parenthood

Worf — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 14:24:26 -0000

This is the last update that it's own post, I promise. You guys have all been very patient with me. I'll work updates into the regular threads from now on. And thanks for all the kind thoughts and advice.

I am back at work today. I made it a whole 90 minutes before calling home to see how Mrs. Worf the Evil Cardinals Fan and little Harry Santo Brickhouse Stoney Dawson Walton Grace Drew Sue BLou Worfington was doing. They are fine. My wife is a stone cold professional at this -- she worked in the infant room at a daycare center in her early 20s.

They told me my life would change, and it has. I sleep less and am happier. I have no aversion whatsoever to any bodily fluids from any orifice. I was in Wal-Mart by myself, picking up needed supplies the other day, and wandered to the baby aisle on my own and nearly got him a Spider-Man hooded towel. (He only has about 16 hooded towels)

I was thrilled with myself the other day because I managed to get his onesie over his head and a new one back on without making him cry and having him soil the entire nursery. I can't remember being so stupidly proud of myself.

But I wasn't prepared for just everything to affect me. I am no longer the Worf in Deep Space Nine who fights Jem'Hadar.

I am the Worf who was involved with Troi and who wore cowboy hats and sat in hot tubs. The Worf who was --- well, sickeningly cute. (I hated this version until now)

You know that commercial with the girl who lost her puppy and a network of people use Twitter and Facebook and all that to find it and get it back to her by the time she gets home from putting up posters? Yeah, I cry at that now.

I cry because I think of the child hurting, and then being happy. I cry because of the lost dog (I'm a dog lover too). Damn, I'm a mess. I'm crying thinking about it.

By July of next year, I'll be in knock-down drag-outs with some of you over the state of the Cubs. I'll make fun of statheads and traditionalists who don't believe in the DH. I'll have players I love and players I can't stand and I'll argue with those who have chosen the opposite.

But remember, I'm still Cowboy Hat Worf. I won't go back. I can't.

Little Geovanny Simon Hee Seop Felix Kerry Gary Gaetti Worfington won't let me.

Worf's thoughts on postseason so far -- And of course, a Baby Worf update

Worf — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 13:25:08 -0000

I'm able to catch some of the games so far. We've been taking little Theodore Ryan Carlos Sean Richard Randy Aaron Jessica Santo Stone Sorifuldo Worfington to the grandparents' and while they hold him, I get to watch a little game.

A few thoughts:

* The Angels really have the look this year. It is nothing short of amazing how they dispatched of the Red Sox.

* The Yankees are not only the team with the most resources, but the team with the most luck. Unbelievable. I'm fully expecting a seven-game LCS (whenever it gets here)

* I'm generally a believer that the umpires get too much blame, but it's long past time for replay. Fair/foul calls, home run calls, trap plays, hit batsmen and plays at the plate. If a foul ball is found to be fair, it's a ground-rule double.

And if that means we evolve to all plays at all bases, oh well. I'm sick of the "Not balls and strikes" strawman. No one has ever suggested that, but if we do more than the umps want, that's OK too.

If the umps don't like it, they can freaking strike.

* Mrs. Worf the Evil Cardinals fan is holding up fine. She just shrugged her shoulders. She also realizes that Matt Holliday is one of the reasons -- maybe the main one -- that the Cards were even playing instead of the Cubs. My father-in-law, also a Cardinals fan, was bummed the Cards didn't win at least one game, so he could hold that over my head. I told him he'd never see his grandson again if he did.

* Sticking with the my Phillies-Angels prediction

* Baby Theodore Ryan Carlos Sean Richard Randy Aaron Jessica Santo Stone Sorifuldo is doing fine. In less than two hours, he will be one week old. This has been the fastest week of my life. He's nursing like a trooper.

* I go back to work on Wednesday, so I'll have more time during the day to post. That is, if I can pull myself away. I'm going to buy a few lottery tickets and see if I can become independently wealthy and do nothing but stare at my son.

* Poop update -- we are now in the yellow/orange phase!

OT - Baby Worf update

Worf — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 15:07:43 -0000

Aramis DeAndre Sorifuldo Santo Stone Yellon Sue Milheil Derrek Carlos Worfington is doing fine. He gave us a really good night last night as far as sleeping. Mrs. Worf the Evil Cardinals Fan is doing great with the breastfeeding (and it's like Girls Gone Wild in my home. Definitely an "open-air" approach)

A.D.S.S.S.Y.S.M.D.C (that's what we call him) definitely smiled when I told him about Holliday dropping the ball.

He also has a baby superpower. He can shoot poop across the room. He got my wife, the floor, the changing table, the changing pad and maybe even a dog. (They really don't understand why we aren't rubbing HIS nose in it)

That may not seem like much, but it's certainly more than Aaron Miles brought to the table this year.

I'll check in again when I can. If you don't like these updates, I really don't care. I'm a new father. Get over it.

Aramis DeAndre Ernie DeRosa Sorifuldo Santo Stone DeNotBruce Worfington arrived at 10:21 a.m....

Worf — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 23:50:04 -0000

Aramis DeAndre Ernie DeRosa Sorifuldo Santo Stone DeNotBruce Worfington arrived at 10:21 a.m. Monday, Oct. 5.

8lbs 3oz; mother and son (and dad) are fine.

Thanks for all your kind thoughts. Probably be very sporadic in the future. Will let you know how it's going from time to time.

Ted Williams' head abused in storage

Worf — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 14:27:23 -0000

Ted Williams' head abused in storage

Written by a whistleblower selling a book, so take it with however many grains of salt you need.

But if it's true, I hope the son who put Ted in there is in Hell being forced to listen to Paris Hilton reciting Shakespeare backwards.

Baseball Attendance Down 6.5 percent

Worf — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:28:04 -0000

Baseball Attendance Down 6.5 percent

5 teams down 20 percent of higher.

We're down 2 percent. Cardinals down 2.6 percent. White Sox down 7.2 percent. Brewers down 1 percent.

Texas and Kansas City -- go figure -- had the highest attendance jumps. Tampa (understandable) and Florida (inexplicable) had significant jumps as well.

Gammons Plan -- Add a wild card team

Worf — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 16:35:09 -0000

I don't have a link to his column, because I don't get insider. He talked about it yesterday on the radio and the gist of it is this:

* Start the season on a weekend -- not on a Monday. This would help attendance anyway, because there is always a drop-off from Opening Day to the Tuesday or Wednesday game. Putting it on a weekend would help.

* Finish the season with Wild Card Weekend. The two wild-card teams would play a three-games series on Friday, Saturday and Sunday and then play the team with the best record.

This year, that would mean (Assuming no change in standings)

Red Sox vs. Rangers

Rockies vs. Braves

This gives meaning to winning the division, where there is none now. It would allow for more cities to be involved. It would punish the wild card team. Baseball still would have, percentage wise, the fewest playoff teams of the four sports.

I'm in favor of it. Bring it on.

Poll

2nd Wild Card team?

Yes! More pennant races, more emphasis on division

189 votes

No, I am an old fart who hates change! GET OFF MY LAWN!

65 votes

254 votes | Poll has closed

Bradley's Mom alleges teachers called his 3-year-old the N-Word

Worf — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:43:30 -0000

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/deluca/1785487,CST-SPT-deluca23.article

Money quote:

During the Brandmeier interview, which Rector claims she thought was a phone conversation and not for broadcast, she tried to detail the key reasons behind her son's unhappiness in less than a season with the Cubs. She claimed Bradley's 3-year-old son faced a slew of racial slurs at his school.

''When racism hit his 3-year-old baby in school, he couldn't take that,'' Rector told Brandmeier. ''Parents, teachers and their kids called him the n-word. He didn't even know it was a bad word until his mom told him.''

Asked by the Sun-Times why Bradley didn't mention this during his several conversations with reporters this season -- a detail that might have gained him more sympathy in Chicago -- Rector said: ''Milton is a quiet person. Stuff like that, he keeps to himself. He doesn't want to talk about that because he doesn't think anybody cares. It is a heartbreaking situation.''

I call B.S.

1) Any parent worth anything would do everything but burn the damn school down if a TEACHER used this kind of language toward their child. We're expected to believe that Bradley stayed calm and collected and that this was ignored? Or resolved with such a minimum of fuss that it escaped attention?

2) Had Bradley revealed this (and given credible proof) -- and his advisers would have strongly advised him to -- "gain him more sympathy" is an understatement. We're talking about something that would have made international news here. Reporters covering the White House probably would have asked President Obama about this.

3) No other parent. No other colleague of this teacher. No one else heard any of this?

4) Bradley makes $10 million a year. Teachers and principals are deathly afraid of people who have the money to hire 207 lawyers and the temperament to do so. No way. No freaking way. This is probably a private pre-school. You think they are in the habit of insulting the paying customers like this?

This is just one more cynical, lousy attempt for someone to justify Bradley acting like an ass. And the quote comes from his mother saying he'd love to return to Chicago.

Really? You want to be in the city where teachers call your child the n-word?

So either you're a liar who plays the race card to get your way or you're a coward who won't stand up for your child.

Not someone I want on my team.

OT -- Another new Cubs fan very soon

Worf — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:41:58 -0000

Many of you know that Mrs. Worf the evil Cardinals fan is pregnant. We are entering our 38th week and she is 3 cm dilated and 50 percent effaced (meaning the barrier to the opening he will pass through is getting wider and weaker)

So, it could be any day now. I was gone most of the day dealing with last-minute baby stuff and we could be leaving tonight (or in two weeks... it's up to the little brat)

His name is not, as I've said earlier, Andre Dawson Worfington, but his name -- I looked this up this afternoon -- will be a combination of last names of players who have killed the Cubs. See if you can guess.

His first name is the last name of player who played 200 games against the Cubs, with the last one being in 1987. He hit .329/.388/.517 against us.

In his last game against the Cubs, he hit an RBI sac fly and his team won 4-3.

His middle name is the last name of a player who pitched 17 games against the Cubs and went 10-4 with a 3.71 ERA and a .210 BAA.

In his last game against the Cubs, in 1980, he pitched 5 innings and his team won 7-1.

To all that have wished us well, thank you.