The Trail Blazers opening night is a few tantalizing hours away.

This calls for a Mad Lib:

Adjective:

Nickname:

Current Blazer:

Number:

Number:

B-ball statistic category:

Current Blazer:

Number:

Number:

B-ball statistic category:

Three Stooges member:

Synonym of "small":

Cartoon character:

Derogatory Adj:

Something smelly:

Current Blazer:

Positive adj:

Something ferocious:

Rocket's player:

Past-tense verb

Same Rocket's player:

Body part

Famous African American pop/R&B music pianist known to wear dark glasses:

Synonym for menacing:

Adjective:

.... wait for it ... don't cheat ...

The glorious Portland Trail Blazers opened their season with a ___(Adj)___ win over the Houston "___(nickname)____" Rockets at the Rose Garden Tuesday night.

___(Current Blazer)___ led all scorers with ____(number)___ points and ___ (number)___ ____(b-ball statistic category)__. ___(Current Blazer)___ added ____(number)___ points and ___ (number)___ ____(b-ball statistic category)____.

Houston was led by ___(Three Stooges member)___, who managed ___(synonym of "small")___ points and ___(cartoon character)___, whose ___(derogatory Adj)___ play reminded Trail Blazer fans of ___(something smelly)___.

"___(Current Blazer)___ is clearly The Man," said Blazers coach Nate McMillan. "This team is so ____(positive adj)___ that I don't know what more I could ask for."

There was a tense moment in the third period when backup center Joel "_____(something ferocious)____" Przybilla and ___(Rocket's player)____ grappled for a loose ball. Przybilla ___(past-tense verb) ___(same Rocket's player)____'s ___(body part)___. Referee ___(famous African American pop/R&B music pianist known to wear dark glasses)___ called Przybilla for the foul, but retracted the called after meeting the ____(synonym for menacing)____ center's ___(adj)____ glare.

Aghhhh!

So it's been sometime since I've done a post of any kind, much less a junkdrawer, but this nightmare last night I must share with people who will understand. Dear Lord.

The LA L@kers in front of a large fountain (St. Mark's Square, Vatican?). Some are shirtless. I think Rick Fox is there ... They're all toasting with Heinekens and laughing while TV cameras (Entertainment Tonight) roll. Over this whole horrible mess, Wham's awful, awful hit "Don't Forget Me When I'm Gone" plays louder and louder. AHHHHHH!!!!!

I woke in terror.

Sometimes my brain sets these little traps for me so I will wake ontime for work or whatever. But I just can't shake that dream. Yikes.

(Just did a search on these internets: Turns out the song is by "Glass Tiger," not Wham.)

The boys in Black and Red have the day off and so do I. (Well, they may have practice, and I have a few things to do, but we'll call it even.) I spent my last day off alternating between dealing with the new dog -- who came from the pound as has a few issues -- and looking for work -- because I have a few issues.

Which got me to thinking ... the Blazers are not on today, what to do?