via the CDC

Late last night the Province caught word that Alexandre Grenier signed a one-year deal to play for the Red Bull Salzburg in the Austrian Hockey League. Grenier took the former Moosehead 90th overall at the last draft; feel free to check out our recap of the 2011 class last year. Vancouver still retains his rights but agrees with the move as voiced by Lawrence Gilman:

He had an opportunity to go to Europe and play against men and to play for a really good hockey man in Pierre Page...We supported that wholeheartedly and we’ll continue to track him there.

He’s a late-bloomer, an intriguing prospect, that’s why we drafted him in the third round...If things go well this year, we would look at signing him next year."

tl;dr - A 6'5'' prospect is off to Europe to cut his teeth in a tough league. Good luck AG, Kassian needs some beefy company in a few years.

Continue reading this post »

At long last this season can finally end but not before a brand new Cup champ is crowned. Once again, thank you to Joel Ward and everyone in the Capitals organization.

On the one side we have Willie Mitchell's 8th seed LA Kings, those filthy party crashers of our spring who have squashed the top three teams in the West to punch their ticket to the dance for the first time since...well who cares?

On the other side, we have Steve Bernier's 6th seed NJ Devils, an uptight group of vagabonds who tossed aside the Marco Sturm-powered Panthers before outlasting Philly and the thuggish Rangers to put Newark into the limelight tonight.

Who you got? Slick Willie or Death to Scoring Chances? Puberty Quick or King Marty? The team who so badly wanted Kovalchuk they damn near give him a trillion dollars or the team that actually gave him a trillion dollars?

Gooooooo drama.

What Cup Finals? Focus people.

Via the mothership, a happy word on one of the kids.

Vancouver Canucks President & General Manager Mike Gillis announced today that the Canucks have signed centre Alex Friesen.

Friesen, 21, recorded 71 points (26-45-71) and 106 penalty minutes in 62 games played with the Niagara IceDogs of the Ontario Hockey League during the 2011.12 season. Friesen, an alternate captain for the IceDogs, was named to the 2011.12 OHL Third All-Star Team.

The 5’10", 189 lbs. native of Niagara-On-the-Lake, Ontario, was originally drafted by Vancouver in the sixth round, 172nd overall in the 2010 NHL Entry Draft.

Fun fact: The Canucks got that 172nd pick when Mathieu Schneider was traded to Phoenix and successfully cleared re-entry waivers. On that note alone I hope Friesen morphs into Zach Parise.

Continue reading this post »

Who's this guy?

Mason Raymond.

Also know as MayRay and the most frequent answer to the question "Who just fell over for no reason?"

Position: Left Wing

Shoots: Left

Height: 6'0''

Weight: 185 lbs soaking wet

Born: September 17, 1985

Drafted by the Vancouver Canucks in the 2nd round (51st overall) of the 2005 NHL Entry Draft (would now be an inappropriate time to mention he was selected before Kris Letang, Jonathan Quick and Keith Yandle? Probably. Nevermind).

What'd he do?

Lost in the hijinks of the Cup run last season hoopla around Rome, Riots and Game 7 was the fact Raymond suffered a fractured vertebrae along with damaged nerves and tissue in game six, an injury that caused him to miss most of the typical off-season training a hockey player would engage in during the summer months. Basically immobile for a few months, all Raymond could do was show up at events in a back brace. Raymond returned to the line-up in December and played in 55 regular season games.

Continue reading this post »

Via the mothership:

Vancouver Canucks President and General Manager Mike Gillis announced today that Head Coach Alain Vigneault has agreed to terms on a contract extension.

"Alain has established himself as one of the premiere coaches in the National Hockey League," said Gillis. "He has demonstrated a commitment to winning that has led to back-to-back Presidents’ Trophies and we are confident his dedication and hard work will continue to yield positive results. Alain has built a foundation of winning with this franchise and I feel he can continue to build on that foundation to achieve our ultimate goal."

"I am pleased to be signing this extension to continue as the Head Coach of such an outstanding organization," said Vigneault. "I look forward to taking the next step with this franchise in bringing the Stanley Cup to Vancouver. I feel fortunate to be able to work with such a dedicated group of management, coaches and players in this great city I love."

A 287-155-50 record in 492 games, a couple Presidents' trophies, the highest winning percentage in franchise history (.634), five NW titles and five 100+ point seasons. Hard to argue with this success when looking for a pit boss (though that won't stop me personally from trying for yet another year!)

Now, with this little bit of drama aside, AV and GMMG can watch the team that ousted them in the first round storm into the Cup finals and figure out what adjustments need to be made with just under a month to go before the NHL Entry draft. Tick tock tick tock...

Who's this guy?

Ryan Kesler.

He also responds to the KesLORD, Kes, that photobombing guy, RK17, the nude guy from that magazine, Kelly Backes' #1 fan and Dave Bolland's BFF.

Position: Center (sorry, centre)

Shoots: Left Right

Height: 6'2''

Weight: 202 magnificent lbs

Born: August 31, 1984 in Livonia, Michigan. Gods aren't born, they simply are.

Drafted by the Vancouver Canucks in the 1st round (23rd overall) of the 2003 NHL Entry Draft.

Continue reading this post »

This is the fifth all-time meeting between these teams with each side advancing twice. This season the Kings 2.29 G/G ranks them a solid 29th, just ahead of Minnesota for the title of the most castrated offense. Then again two years ago against Vancouver in the first round they scored 18 goals in six games (and lost). Last year they rattled off 20 against the Sharks (and shit the bed). So that talk about "if the Kings can score, look out" seems suspect; perhaps it's more about if they can stop the goals from going in since that seems to be the crux of their post season struggles. The Kings ended the regular season with GA/G of 2.07, second best in the league (Vancouver's was fourth best at 2.33); of course if you can't score you damn well better be responsible in your own zone and that's certainly helped them.

That recipe sounds somewhat familiar doesn't it? Right, the Canucks did that in 2007. Didn't work out so well for them.

For the second year this isn't a typical 1 vs. 8 scenario: the Kings have been playing for their hockey lives for weeks now, can dominate the puck possession, can smother the opposition with speed, just ended a season where they surrendered a franchise-best 179 goals against and having watched their last two games against San Jose have no shortage of guys who have zero compunction about questionable hits. It won't take long for the emotions to creep in on either side.

Let's examine the Los Angeles ranks to better understand what lies ahead. To assist us in scouting the enemy it's only natural we employ the help of of the world's great super agent, Duchess (a.k.a. Sterling Malory Archer). On a related note Killface isn't returning our DM's, so we assume he's still pissed about the Annihilatrix.

Grab your turtlenecks, gummy bears and scotch.

Continue reading this post »

That crazy of time of year has returned. The one were you kiss your loved ones goodbye, lock yourself in a room with the requisite amount of liquor, tempt throat bleeding with your screams and endure the ulcer-inducing marathon known as playoff hockey.

Of course some may join together and share these mind numbing moments with each other. It's beautiful really and one we couldn't endorse more since playoff success and failure is always enhanced by good company.

(There's a riot joke in there but I'm too classy to jump on it).

As we do every year as a public service to you sexy readers, we'll dust off the old fan map just in case you aren't privileged enough to live in the lower mainland and instead need to track down fellow fans in whatever nook and cranny of the world you lay your head down in at night.

Continue reading this post »

Part of the #embracethehate campaign we've been beholden since last June has many components, one of which is to digest and consume all of the free-flowing hate out there in the tubes. If you've skipped this part of the campaign, prepare for a swirling storm of shit because the minute first round playoff predictions from the flapping heads are released, it'll be full on. Bank on some of them have already written their takes on why Vancouver will lose to an opponent who hasn't been decided yet.

In that same vein, I keep seeing references from commentators on other sites partial to the Sharks, Stars or Kings that Vancouver is the team they want to face. No one wants a piece of St. Louis or the loser of the Detroit/Chicago/Nashville tickle fight so the team from the clown horn division - the one where Luongo is the goalie and the leading scorer is counting purple elephants - is the preferred opponent. As if often the case logic has no place in the vaunted halls of internet commenting where instead decrees of "karma" or "Loungo sucks!" along with the impenetrable "it's our time" claims rule the day.

Let's play their game and make it official so we can move on with life: who don't you want to the Canucks play in the first round and why?

The idea taking four wins from this squad is going to be a breeze is astonishing but, again, not surprising. No matter what direction the wind blows, all you need to remember is one word this spring: scoreboard. That's where it'll display the beat down that the current Western Conference-leading team is delivering to whichever squad is unlucky enough to draw their number, just as they have for the majority of the last two hockey seasons.

Karma!

Rolling along with my trolling of the trolls comes this little ditty from the aptly named "Wolves Prospect" where he attempts to discredit anyone - AND I MEAN ANYONE - who attempts to connect this year's squad with the 1994 group (also...who the hell is doing that?).

Among the clearly mighty lessons learned here is that whoever this Tommy Satantla guy is he must be a huge jerk.

This time last week seems a world away doesn't it?

A win over Columbus with rival Chicago on deck and a pair of battles against those scrapping for the bottom seeds rounding it out. The NW title within grasp. More or less, all seemed pretty innocent.

Well think again junior. Three games later the NW title is back home, our leading scorer is in the quiet room and those wanting to see a fire lite under their collective asses saw just that when they put a dent in the playoff aspirations of Dallas and Colorado.

We gave Dadberg the day off to be a dad because even us old fucks have a heart. So old codgers Kent and YC rant away on the week that was.

...and they're off like a herd of turtles!

OUR LOVE IS RIGHT...

Grandpa Kent Cracked A Toothless Smile: In a season so filled with doom, gloom and negative connotations, if you were a non-hockey person and saw what's been said about the Canucks this season, you'd likely be stunned to see just where they are in the standings. Yet here they sit, as terrible as they are a mere 2 points back on the Rangers and Blues, with a shot at back to back President's Trophy wins. And if you think this is not significant, you need to shut off the part of your brain that acknowledges internet trolling as though it somehow matters and listen to fact: If you believe for one moment that winning top spot in the regular season meant nothing in the Canucks playoff run, you're wrong. Home ice advantage the entire way is huge, and was a factor in every series the Canucks played. Depending on the roll of the dice that is the playoffs the Canucks could not finish first and still get it the whole way, but why leave it to others? Determine your own destiny. In the wake of the Keith/Sedin debacle, one thing has become clear: the Canucks aren't gonna take shit from anyone. There are some who are still bemoaning a so-called lack of response on Wednesday, but the fact of the matter is they did everything they could without severely punishing themselves to get back at Keith. They then stood up to 2 straight opponents who spent their entire games taking liberties against them, responded appropriately and walked out of the building with wins. It sucks that this is what had to happen to spark this team to life, but after sputtering through March, 2 straight wins and points in 3 straight as they head home to round out the season, leaving Rogers Place just once for a quick jaunt to Calgary, this team looks as though, even without Daniel Sedin that things are falling into place, and just in time.

Continue reading this post »

The official word from the NHL can be viewed here. Violation of rule #45..."dangerous, reckless and caused injury."

Can we move on with life now? Sigh, I guess not.

Despite the vitriol flying around the forums, tweets and tubes since game #73, the overwhelming vibe from most humans who employ logic over emotion was that Keith delivered a hit that isn't remotely acceptable in today's NHL, be it levied on a Canuck or his own mother (should his mother be skating of course; she could probably walk on to the Blue Jacket's top six). Shanahan and the league just confirmed it. If you wanted more than five games, not sure what to tell ya to calm the rage. People will look at Doan and say where's the consistency. I look at it like it's Rome's sentence plus a game.

Let's focus on the bigger picture: losing Dank underscores the already perplexing scoring drought. They need to figure out how to live without their go-to scorer for now which means Amex (when they're together) and the budding Hank/Kass connection need to elevate their games along with the rest of the support finding the net with more consistency. A little blueline support never hurt no one either and don't even get me started on the PP...

If - if! - Vancouver bows out early in the post season, this hit sure as hell won't be why.

I can't help myself when it comes to the skeptical eye I maintain for what passes as discussion topics at the CDC. So, giving a huge stick tap to Deadspin's series on Jose Canseco's Tweets as Motivational Posters, I kindly roll out the CDC As Motivational Posters series.

First up is a bold topic I dare you to read in its entirity without having blood shoot out your nose: Should Duncan Keith Be Charged With Assault On Daniel Sedin?

By my fake wrist watch the playoffs are a little less than a month away, so let's ignore the slow Bataan Death March of another off day and wildly speculate as to our future.

Before we begin let's assume a few things:

• The Sedins will eventually begin scoring, sending Tony Gallagher into his greatest depression ever
  
• Alex Edler will shake off his frowny face from comments made by AV and staple his next nearest opponent into the Van Allen belt
• Chris Higgins will no longer be inflected by anything on this planet ever again. Ever.
• Mason Raymond will oh nevermind
• The goalie the team will lean on this spring will be oh nevermind
• The Canucks don't go in the tank in their final 13 games, causing this website to explode and for all of us to become fans of an entirely different sport

St. Louis has the conference lead on Vancouver by five points, a comfortable lead but not insurmountable. Right behind Vancouver by nine points is Dallas. I feel that's a big enough window to make one final assumption: Vancouver won't cough up the second seed, meaning they'll get whoever ends up in 7th (currently Phoenix who - by Lucifer's beard - they play tomorrow) or 8th (currently Colorado).

There's quite the bottle neck for the 8th seed right now and if I'm a Hawks fan I don't feel out of the woods yet either. But they're better off than Anaheim and Minnesota who I'm sticking a fork in.

With all those random assumptions on the proverbial table, pick your poison below and junk up the comments with your thoughts.

...taps mic...

He-he-hello?

...clears throat, wipes sweat from bald head...

Good to see you all again. You might not remember me, but I used to show up around these parts remarkably often until real life reared it's filthy ugly head, forcing me into immensely long hours of staring at an evil program called Sharepoint (anyone who's worked with this platform is gently nodding their head in tacit agreement) instead of hanging out here finding animated gifs of ginger children drinking tomato juice with a caption "look at how many fucks I give?" when Cory Schneider makes a save. For this you have my deepest apologies and a zillion thanks to the NM crew who had to pick up my slack.

Now that the time has come where I don't have to watch recaps in airports and strange hotels anymore, it's time to get back to business, starting with my fellow cohorts and dusting off a brand new Get Off My Lawn in which we rant and rave about this week's world of Vancouver Canucks hockey.

Grip it and rip it!

...wait that sounds too young. What do old people say when they get excited?

"Well that's neater than a pocket on a shirt."

(swish!)

Continue reading this post »

Maybe proclaiming it's an era is a bit much...but judging by the number of people who are inching closer to roof edges on the news that Cody Hodgson (and Alexander Sulzer) were swapped in exchange for Zack Kassian (and Marc-Andre Gragnani) there's a certain amount of buyer's remorse before the ink is even dry on the deal.

I recognize it sucks to lose a player we've seen go through so much since he was drafted four years ago. With all the issues regarding his back injury and how he would never crack the roster, Hodgson rewarded that patience this season with strong play and 33 points in 63 games. He grew into a valuable role on the third line. However, not unlike Cory Schneider (hint hint), we now know this was ultimately a showcase for Hodgson since it would have been next to impossible to unseat Kesler or Hank ahead of him in the depth charts. With the addition of Pahlsson (presumably the pivot for the third line now) Hodgson had less of a role to play. The Sabres moved Paul Gaustad earlier today and Hodgson appears to be the main benefactor of that deal. So, as fans of Hodgson, we should be happy he landed in a place to blossom in a top six role, something he wouldn't have gotten in Vancouver with the current line-up.

I think those who are the most upset with Hodgson leaving forgot that not every trade can be for a few late round picks. At some point, MG has to give some in order to get some. He pulled that trigger today. So what did we get?

Continue reading this post »

Andrew Gordon

#41 / Right Wing / Anaheim Ducks

Height: 6-0

Weight: 194

Born: Dec 13, 1985

Last but not least is the quiet buzzer beater of a deal that saw Sebastian Erixon traded to Anaheim for Andrew Gordon. Erixon is a low ranking defensive prospect (Hockey's Future has him behind Patrick McNally) who hasn't - and may never - played one shift at the NHL level. There isn't much to crow about Gordon other than - unlike Erixon - he's played some NHL games, the majority of which has been this season on the fourth line for the Ducks. He can kill penalties and has decent speed, but at this stage in the season he's effectively injury insurance for the playoffs.

Via THN:

ASSETS: Is really fast. Usually works as hard as any player on the ice. Is a sound positional player and a good point producer at the minor-league level.

FLAWS: Doesn't have the size teams seek for the NHL game. Isn't a very physical winger, either. Must prove he can produce consistently at the highest level.

CAREER POTENTIAL: Speedy energy winger with a little upside.

Here's a fun interview that will keep you occupied in Gordon least he never make the squad. He's also on the Twitter so go say hello.

Samuel Pahlsson

#26 / Center / Columbus Blue Jackets

Height: 6-0

Weight: 207

Born: Dec 17, 1977

Earl Sleek's favorite player is a Vancouver Canuck. And you know what they say: every time a Ducks fan weeps, an angel gets...I dunno...a cinnamon bun. Whatever. Shut up.

Our new Sami (not to be confused with crippling random injuries) has been ruthlessly held hostage in Columbus where he anchored their third line flanked by Russell and Dorsett. Prior to that he's best known for being paired with Moen and Rob "what elbowing call?" Neidermayer during the Ducks Cup run in 2007.

Like former Blue Jacket center Manny Malhotra - who could quite possibly end up on his line along with Lappy - Pahlsson is a defensive forward and an ideal checking center (he leads CBJ with a FO% of 51.1, just a tad higher than Hank at this point). He's one of the Blue Jacket's best PK'ers and - just like Malhotra - will never see the offensive zone unless by mistake or AV's too busy giggling. Pahlsson boosts one of the best QoC ratings of any player in the past five seasons.

Clearly this isn't about offense; Pahlsson gives Vancouver flexibility with the third and fourth pairings (I believe he can play wing as well), some ideal skills on the kill and the "all important" Cup experience thingy. He's a UFA at the end of the season, but like Higgins and Lappy on this date last year, maybe he'll stick around for an encore if he buys into what GMMG is dropping down.

All for the price of two 4th rounders (and Taylor Ellington)? Can't hate this trade. Unless of course you're Earl.

First quote from the presser: "I'm going to do everything to help the team win". Right on.

So as I post this I see it's closing in on 4:00 AM in Tokyo, so it still counts as a morning buzz even though we missed most of this continent. Big deal. It's always morning somewhere right?

Your man Jordan is out fighting crime and saving dogs (wait, that's Backes and his wife, nevermind).

So I shed the corporate shackles briefly to pinch hit which, honestly, isn't all the hard when the biggest thing to discuss is slaying the dead heads.

Again.

You wanna da jump? You get da jump.

Continue reading this post »

Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.

- Gary Allan

That loss to the Flames never happened; it was just a bad dream. But you know what isn't? Screaming children, waking up early and the in-laws Christmas! No matter what you're celebrating, hope you sexy folks all have a wonderful holiday break the next few days and come back charged up for the winter months of hockey that lay ahead, starting with the Oil on Monday.

(BTW - Has Ebbett let himself go or what?)

I remember the time in 1959 when I took the downtown trolley to the west side of Ocean Beach. I had to take back the facsimile that we gotten for the farm, but it was too icky and my mother told me that it was not appropriate. Well, after the trolley ride I thought I about having an effervescent soda pop at old Doc Chandan's pharmacy, but he lost his thumbs in the war so I grabbed some from Captain Solan's general store instead. I'm on my eight glass already. If I was not the son of a warlock then I would know better than to gulp them like a wombat in capable heat...

(as you can tell, senility is bitchin'!)

Pull your pants up and take a walk with us as we review our loves and hates from the past week.

Continue reading this post »

As a new treat for you damn kids this Sunday, the three old idiots wise men who run this humble corner of the tubes - Zandaddy, Basky and YC - review what we loved and hated this week from our fair warriors in blue/white.

Pull your pants up punk and let's go.

Continue reading this post »

For those who were still miffed at the whole Winnipeg in the Southeast thing, we have good news. The NHL did something "radical." I know it must be radical because the Twitter box told me so.

Aw hell let's just see what the league has to say:

The makeup of the yet-to-be-named four conferences is as follows:

* New Jersey, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, New York Rangers, New York Islanders, Washington and Carolina

* Boston, Montreal, Toronto, Ottawa, Buffalo, Florida and Tampa Bay

* Detroit, Columbus, Nashville, St. Louis, Chicago, Minnesota, Dallas and Winnipeg

* Los Angeles, Anaheim, Phoenix, San Jose, Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, Colorado

In essence they kicked Minnesota out of the NW (raise your hand if you'll miss them) and Dallas out of the Pacific and merged the remaining souls. Four teams in each conference make the cut to the post season. Can Vancouver hang in the top 50% of the new Sports Action * conference?

Some more rules:

In the seven-team conferences, teams would play six times -- three home, three away. In the eight-team Conferences, teams would play either five or six times in a season on a rotating basis; three teams would play each other six times and four teams would play each other five times. This process would reverse each season: An eight-team Conference member that plays an opponent six times in one season would play it five times the following season.

The top four teams in each Conference qualify for the Stanley Cup Playoffs. The first-place team would play the fourth-place team; the second-place team would play the third-place team. The four respective Conference champions would meet in the third round of the Playoffs, with the survivors playing for the Stanley Cup.

So much for that Chicago hate. Who will fill the dead injun's void now?

And not lost in all of this is the possibility that the Cup final can now be East/East or West/West. Nice idea until the league execs keep pushing the idea of the Caps/Penguins year after gut wrenching year just kidding they're in the same conference. That also kills the dream of a Canucks/Flames final. Sob accordingly.

* Note: Until they get a name I say go the gambling route.

********************

Update: From the always mathematical On The Forecheck, the new mileage for the conferences. The West, as expected, still loses and Lou's Devils are safe from TSA gropings for the foreseeable future.