SB Nation User Blog: ZarleyZalapski

New York Rangers sign Ales Kotalik

ZarleyZalapski — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 21:24:56 -0000

New York Rangers sign Ales Kotalik

$3 million per year for Ales Kotalik? Glen Sather, you crazy old rascal, you!

Looks like the official end of the Zherdev era in New York.

The Absurd Comeback Story of Tony Hrkac

ZarleyZalapski — Sun, 24 May 2009 19:51:02 -0000

So I had forgotten about the AHL playoffs for awhile there, and decided to check in for the latest updates at the AHL's Web site.

And what should I see on the splash page but this:

"Tony Hrkac’s second goal of the night 4:19 into the second overtime period sent the series back to Winnipeg with the Aeros now trailing 3-2."

Wait a minute... that Tony Hrkac? The journeyman plugger from the '90s/early '00s? Wasn't he... uh... dead, or something?

Turns out not. John Shipley at the Pioneer Press has the wonderful story of how the 42-year-old Hrkac found his way from retirement into the Houston Aeros' starting lineup.

"I really didn't know what to expect. I mean, I hadn't been hit in four years," Hrkac told Shipley. "And a lot has changed since I played. My last year, you could still hook and interfere and all that stuff you're not supposed to do now."

Indeed, Hrkac hasn't skated professionally since the 2004-2005 season, which he spent with the Milwaukee Admirals. But Hrkac's acclimated to the new, post-lockout game quite well. His heroics in Game 5 of the AHL Western Conference finals give him 14 points in 18 AHL playoff games.

Now, the Minnesota Wild-affiliated Aeros are attempting to claw back from a 3-0 series deficit against the Manitoba Moose, Vancouver's AHL club. It'd be a great comeback if they completed it, but not nearly so remarkable as Hrkac's return to the ice.

Think they'll update Hrkac.com, now?

Props to Jonathan Willis at The Copper & Blue for giving this story its first coverage on SB Nation.

German goaltender Robert Mueller dies

ZarleyZalapski — Fri, 22 May 2009 16:56:15 -0000

German goaltender Robert Mueller dies

Sad, sad story from the German National League. Mueller played a few games this past season despite an inoperable brain tumor and worsening health. He leaves behind a wife and two kids.

Hat tip to Puck Daddy for posting this earlier today. All 200 of Alex Ovechkin's career goals in...

ZarleyZalapski — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 04:19:08 -0000

Hat tip to Puck Daddy for posting this earlier today. All 200 of Alex Ovechkin's career goals in 200 seconds. Spot any patterns in how this guy lights the lamp?

Does the Best Team Have the Best Coach?

ZarleyZalapski — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 04:09:38 -0000

Does the Best Team Have the Best Coach?

Pursuant to Mirtle's earlier post about Todd McLellan's excellent coaching stats, Jeff Z. Klein of the New York Times' Slap Shot blog thinks Mr. McLellan's something special. An interesting read for those looking for a bit of context with their clichéd quotes.

Alexei Yashin asked, and I responded. I defy anyone to find a more righteous NHL/ping-pong shot...

ZarleyZalapski — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 18:20:51 -0000

Alexei Yashin asked, and I responded. I defy anyone to find a more righteous NHL/ping-pong shot than this one of Marc Sturm unloading an OVERHEAD SMASH on a hapless fan.

Check out this dude's site for more shots of NHLers at the mini tennis table, including Peter Forsberg, Alexander Ovechkin, and Mats Sundin.

Swedes Dominate Latest '09 NHL Draft Rankings

ZarleyZalapski — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:52:04 -0000

Swedes Dominate Latest '09 NHL Draft Rankings

Check out the European rankings: Swedes fill the top 8 skater positions and the top goalie slot. That's remarkable.

The Dying Art of Proofreading

ZarleyZalapski — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 21:05:29 -0000

The Dying Art of Proofreading

Count the misspelled Maple Leaf names!

Top 10 Ridiculous Stat Lines from This Season

ZarleyZalapski — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 00:47:59 -0000

As December draws to a close, so too does that festive period of cheer and reflection... year-end listmaking season.

Thank goodness.

As a relapsed music addict, I've felt compelled to wade through a few dozen "Best of '08" albums lists, each of which seem to simply rearrange the same 10 or so critical darlings in an arbitrary order. Yes, I know Vampire Weekend was kind of a big deal this year. Please stop writing about them.

By contrast, I've felt heartened by the sheer variety of lists the hockey blogosphere has produced to close out '08. You've got the curmudgeonly year-end summary, the blog-specific highlights package, and even the hilariously fabricated look ahead to 2009.

So, in order to contribute to the chorus, I've put together a little list of my own: 10 (well, technically 12) amazing single-game statistical performances from the season so far. Some were chosen for their excellence, others their quirkiness, or even their distinguished awfulness. All were compiled using the Hockey-Reference.com Power Play program, which is kind of to hockey stat geeks as a protractor is to an architect.

So, um... you know... without further digressive introduction...

Tomas Plekanec, 10/25 vs. Anaheim
13 shots, 3 missed shots, 0 goals, -2

Let's start with a stinker. In an early season contest against the Ducks, the man they call "TurtlePlek" abandoned his usual slow 'n' steady policy to fire a barrage of shots at Jean-Sebastien Giguere. None of them found the back of the net, and his team lost, 6-4.

Just for comparison, the guy is averaging 2.6 shots per game this year. What snapped in him that night? Well, my theory is that his fashion-forward neckguard got a bit too tight, restricting airflow to his brain and causing him to go all Gatling gun on the Ducks. It was the most shots tallied in a game this year without scoring a goal.

Cam Ward, 10/25 vs. New York Islanders
57 saves on 60 shots, 4 penalty minutes

Okay, one more crackpot theory: Ward had post-traumatic flashbacks to the fateful spring of 2006, and just went completely bonkers in this game against the Isles. Keep in mind, all 57 of those saves came in regulation, without the added benefit of OT to pad the numbers.

In the NHL.com recap of this 4-3 Hurricanes triumph, Ward gives the obligatory "our defense did a great job clearing rebounds" quote that every goaltender must give after a shutout or 40+ save performance, as mandated by NHL Player Humbleness Bylaw 3.24b. But seriously... the guy stopped Doug Weight on a penalty shot with one second left to preserve the win. That heart-stopping finale was made possible by... you guessed it, one of Ward's beloved defenders (Tim Gleason) closing his hand on the puck in the crease.

At the same time, Ward didn't help his cause, picking up a couple of minor penalties that he and his teammates had to kill off. In the end, he finished with the most saves in a single game this year.

Teemu Selanne, 10/29 vs. Detroit
3 goals, all on the power play

So maybe the Finnish Flash doesn't have the sizzle to dominate at even strength like he used to. That's forgivable, because before his freaky skate injury, Selanne was authoring one of the most dominating power play seasons in league history. Dig this: 13 of his 14 goals this year have come with the man advantage. Absurd.

Three of them came in a neat little package in this October tilt with the Red Wings. He scored one in each period, with Ryan Getzlaf picking up an assist on each goal. It's the only all-power play hat trick recorded so far this season. Video evidence here.

Corey Perry, 10/31 vs. Vancouver
& Nicklas Backstrom, 11/15 vs. New Jersey
1 goal, 4 assists, team loses in shootout

Here's me cheating by rolling two very similar performances into one list item. Perry and Backstrom each did all their teammates could ask for: scoring a goal, racking up assists, and making magic every time they each touched the ice. Unfortunately, their teams' defense wasn't up to snuff in either case, as each lost a high-scoring shootout game to their opponents.

Perry's Ducks fell, 7-6, in an epic Halloween shootout against Vancouver. They had to climb out of a 5-2 hole to get there, with Perry tying the game with less than a minute left in the third. The Caps pulled a similar trick two weeks later, with Backstrom feeding Alexander Ovechkin to tie the game in the final second of regulation. They then proceeded to drop the shootout.

Both Perry and Backstrom are the only players to tally 5 points and lose the game this year. They also look like twins, don't they?

Ethan Moreau, 11/1 vs. Carolina
19 penalty minutes, 2 goals, game-winner

You know, it wouldn't surprise me if Ethan Moreau one day picked up a Gary Roberts-esque cult following. He's cut from the same cast iron cloth, just a total hockey badass who messes people up on the ice and leads by example off of it.

This game proves that potential. First came a high-sticking call just over 30 seconds into the game. Then, later in the first, a dust-up with Tuomo Ruutu netted Moreau 17 additional minutes in penalties (misconduct + fighting + instigator). Ruutu had taken a run at Ales Hemsky, and then plastered Denis Grebeshkov into the boards during the same shift. Moreau rose to defend his teammates' honor, and, well... the HockeyFights.com scorecard speaks for itself.

Oh yeah, and Moreau later broke a 1-1 tie with under 2 minutes left in the third period, then tacked on an empty-netter for good measure. Throw Moreau's three hits into the mix, and this is clearly one of those games that create legends.

Mike Smith, 11/6 vs. New York Rangers / 12/18 vs. Colorado
19 combined penalty minutes, 2 losses

Ya think Mike Smith is getting sick of being the only player who shows up for the Lightning, night in and night out? These two separate freakouts seem to indicate a deep-seated frustration seething beneath Smith's jovial, frizzy-haired exterior.

Let's start with his early November battle against Aaron Voros. This came back when Voros was still getting those Sean Avery comparisons, back before everyone was comparing Sean Avery to, you know, Satan and stuff. Voros clearly got under Smith's skin here, sparking a series of blocker jabs and slashes before the two threw down. Gotta love the reaction shots of the Lightning players watching from the bench in that HockeyFights video.

Anyway, that scuffle earned Smith 9 minutes in penalties, but he wasn't done. He topped himself earlier this month, earning 10 minutes for "abuse of officials" amidst the Milan Hejduk shootout non-goal debacle. Whatever. That abuse was warranted.

Smith is far and away the leader in goalie penalty minutes this year, and is earning a reputation as the spiritual heir to his namesake Billy Smith: an excellent keeper with a temper to match.

Simon Gagne, 11/13 vs. Pittsburgh
2 goals, both short-handed

As they say: "Fool me once short-handed, shame on you. Fool me twice short-handed, shame on my power play pointmen."

Here's the first of Gagne's two shorties against the Penguins: blocks the shot, shrugs off Alex Goligoski and Evgeni Malkin, doodles around Marc-Andre Fleury... back of the net. (P.S.: Doesn't it sound like "Kanye" when the announcers say Gagne's name?)

For the second, zip to 2:20 of this YouTube highlights package. Laser shot on an odd-man rush. Gagne's always dangerous, even killing penalties, and he has to be on the shortlist for one of the greatest comeback seasons in the past decade. This is the only multiple short-handed goal game recorded this year.

Dainius Zubrus, 11/23 vs. Tampa Bay
4 goals

Danius. Zubrus. Scored. Four goals. In one game. ?!?!?!

Chris Mason, 11/25 vs. Nashville
47-save shutout, perfect in shootout

Revenge is best served cold... ice-cold, in this case (*gag*!) As you might know, the Predators dropped Mason at the draft last year, handing the goaltending reins to young Dan Ellis. This, of course, was perfectly in keeping with the Predators tradition of ditching a starter once he gets too expensive, and somehow uncovering a cheaper substitute in the wings: Mike Dunham, to Tomas Vokoun, to Steve Mason, to Dan Ellis, to Pekka... no wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.

At any rate, Mason was practically salivating for this showdown against his old mates, and he completely stonewalled them from the opening whistle. He recorded 38 saves in regulation, another 9 in overtime, and stymied Rich Peverley and Ville Koistinen in the shootout to give his new squad the win. Master Ellis, meanwhile, was pretty much up to the task, stopping everything except David Perron's shootout marker in what would have been a double-shutout in the old NHL.

Mason's money quote from the game recap?

"The guys blocked about a million shots, too. There were a lot of scrambles in front of the net and they cleared the pucks out. We got two points, and we battled our way to get them."

Damn you, NHL Player Humbleness Bylaws!

Ilya Bryzgalov, 11/29 vs. San Jose
2 shots against, 2 goals against, 5:26 played

Now to the other end of the goaltending spectrum, we find that nutty old Ilya Bryzgalov of the Phoenix Coyotes. Since Russian-to-English NHL interviews are so en vogue these days, I'd really like to hear this guy speak in his native tongue. He comes across as this bizarre idiot savant in English, with half-broken non sequiturs spewing from his mouth like so much manna from the heavens. You could say the NHL is in the midst of a "Dead Quote Era" these days (see Cam Ward and Chris Mason), so more stuff from this guy would be wonderful.

Oh yes, the game. Well, ya see, the 'Yotes went up 2-0 early in the first period against the Sharks. But since this was the (regular season) Sharks, it wouldn't stay that way for long. Bryzgalov didn't face a shot until 4:15, when Joe Pavelski got one by him. Just over one minute later, Rob Blake scored on San Jose shot #2 to tie the game. Out came the Great One's goaltending hook, and Bryzgalov sat the rest of the game. Save percentage? .000. And I'm not even going to calculate the GAA on that one.

San Jose went on to a 3-2 victory. Definition of athletic injustice: Mikael Tellqvist stops 20 of 21 in relief and takes the loss. Shame on you, Ilya. Shame.

------

So... what was the most bizarre single game performance of the season? What did I miss? Sound off in the comments, y'all.

The Incomprehensible Depth of the 2003 NHL Entry Draft

ZarleyZalapski — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 03:58:57 -0000

via www.thehockeynews.com

Since the curtain is finally about to fall on this convoluted Sean Avery morality play, I suggest we all take a deep breath and move on to talking about people who can actually play hockey.

Like Jeff Carter.

As this laudatory Philadelphia Inquirer feature reveals, Carter is part of that class of player that Avery detests. He's "soft-spoken," to the point of whispering interview responses. Doesn't talk about his stats. Seems almost embarrassed by his own gifts. In a word: boring.

But put this guy out on the ice, and he's a deadly machine. Pinpoint shot, wicked release, big, fast, intelligent, defensively aware. This is the kind of artistry that the sport and its media should salivate over, instead of the third-tier clownery that Avery has stooped to.

Anyway, there ends my rant. From here, let me instead focus on a quote made by Flyers' GM Paul Holmgren in the aforementioned article: that Carter and his 2003 NHL Draft classmates "may go down as the greatest ever."

It seemed a bit of a gaudy claim to me, until I actually looked at the first round of the '03 Draft. And yea, thereupon gazing, mine eyes began to melt.

I could just list all of the top-tier names from this draft class, but I thought it would be more interesting (and debate-worthy) to draft a starting roster from this daunting group of players.

Twelve forwards, six defensemen, two goalies, with picks based upon who I'd want playing for me right now. Unlike NHL general managers, I don't overpay based on potential. Overall draft positions are listed in parentheses.

Let this fantastically nerdy exercise commence.

---

FORWARD LINES:

Thomas Vanek (5) - Ryan Getzlaf (19) - Corey Perry (28)

Zach Parise (17) - Jeff Carter (11) - Nikolai Zherdev (4)

Milan Michalek (6) - Mike Richards (24) - Nathan Horton (3)

Dustin Brown (13) - Eric Staal (2) - Patrice Bergeron (45)

---

I mean, seriously. Eric Staal's on the fourth line, people. The first round in 2003 featured a stunning array of forward talent, highlighted by the drafting coups that the Getzlaf/Perry and Carter/Richards duos represent.

Elsewhere, Vanek has lived up to his billing as the greatest pure goal scorer of this group. Zherdev is a pure bundle of finesse who seems to finally be hitting his stride in the Big Apple. Parise, MIchalek and Bergeron all have hockey IQs that bound off the charts (not that there's a single dunce in this pack). Brown is a fun mix of scrappiness and scoring.

Staal and Horton are both enduring statistical downturns right now, but they were drafted up top for a reason. Their natural gifts will shove them back on track soon enough.

In short: this group represents a constellation of the NHL's future (and present) stars.

---

DEFENSIVE PAIRINGS:

Dion Phaneuf (9) - Shea Weber (49)

Brent Burns (20) - Brent Seabrook (14)

Braydon Coburn (8) - Ryan Suter (7)

---

Book it: the top three defensemen of this group will annually contend for the Norris Trophy once Nicklas Lidstrom finally grows bored of casually dominating the entire league. Phaneuf's already been a finalist, and has garnered plenty of hype for his spine-adjusting hits and crackling slapshot. Oh yes, and his girlfriend.

Then you've got the NHL's leading blueline scorer in Weber, who is fast becoming a beast of a player for the Predators. Already, he's getting some Norris love for his work this season. Next comes Brent Burns, and it's almost getting redundant, but like Phaneuf and Weber he does everything well. He's big, powerful, fast, and wires it from the point. Plus, our patron blogger Mirtle has been trumpeting his abilities for over a year now.

Not to be outdone, Seabrook and Suter are silky smooth with the puck, and Braydon Coburn will be a ghost that haunts Don Waddell and the Atlanta organization forever... especially when he's shutting down the Thrashers' top line in Philips Arena twice a year for the next decade.

Together, these six players represent the new breed of NHL defenseman. Not just hulking golems that lean on forwards and hack at skill guys, but dexterous players who can impact the play at both ends of the ice.

---

GOALIES:

Marc-Andre Fleury (1)

Jaroslav Halak (271)

---

At opposite ends of the draft, the Penguins and Canadiens each picked up a starting-caliber netminder. Fleury, who nearly got Blackburn-ed when Pittsburgh brass rushed him into the NHL at 18, has since helped lead his team to the Stanley Cup Final. His annual injuries are becoming a concern, but it's impossible to discount his athleticism and growing swagger.

Halak's an interesting case: a supremely talented youngster eternally buried behind an even younger, even more talented goaltender. We won't know his full mettle until he escapes the blinding glare of Jesus Price's halo, but for now it's safe to say that he's got a full-time future in the NHL.

So... have alternate roster suggestions? Want to further bask in the brilliance of this draft class? Want me to shut up already? That's what the comments section is for, people.