From one side of the Red River to another, I'd like to let y'all know that the Box family and the Sooner family will be in our prayers. There is nothing more tragic than the loss of a young person, and times like this transcend rivalry. As fans, we don't get along too well, but as people it's important that we ignore things like that in times like these. This is shocking and saddening news, and I'd just like to let you guys know that this Longhorn fan is thinking about you.

This is a game I saw on the Alabama SBNation site. Each person posts an embarrassing story about him/herself, hoping to somehow create a positive mojo for the upcoming game. The more embarrassing, the more mojo it brought about. They did this before the 2009 SECCG and 2010 MNC and, as we know all too well, it worked.

Post one, post all, and keep in mind that this is under the cover of a screen name. (And beyond the jump, a complete timeline of the suckage that was 2010)

Here's mine:

When I was 15 I lost an arm wrestling contest to a girl four inches smaller than me. And it wasn't close.

Post yours. 2011 depends on it. The more embarrassing the better.

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It's been a rough year. That rough year is almost over. Thank God.

Fortunately, we're still Texas. 2011 can be better (and if it's not, there will be a serious problem). That being said, I realized that a look at all the good memories from the last few years wouldn't be the worst thing for everybody. 

To a better 2011!

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I'm sure you guys all heard the rumors about how Davis, McWhorter, Kennedy, Tollison, and possibly Chambers will be gone by means of retirement, resignation, or straight up termination. Word has it that Muschamp will have plenty of impact in deciding the new assistants. What I'm going to do is write all the vacant staff spots and predict who will fill them, and then you guys do the same to hopefully get a little offseason discussion going. Sad that it's the offseason, but this could be the offseason that defines the program for the next ten years. I'm going to include RB and QB coach on this list because I feel that Major will be promoted to QB coach but not OC.

Here we go:

Position: Coach (current school)

Offensive Coordinator: Guz Malzahn (Auburn)

- Auburn is a virtual breeding ground for Texas assistants, and with the possibility of sanctions combined with the likelihood that Dana Holgerson will not want to leave Stillwater for another Big 12 school, Malzahn could very well be our guy. He has orchestrated great offenses for the Tigers under former Texas DC Gene Chizik (although Cam Newton has certainly helped out).

Quarterbacks Coach: Major Applewhite (Texas)

- I feel like Coaches Brown and Muschamp will want some kind of continuity on the staff, and while Major is not the answer at running backs coach, he very well could be the guy at QB coach. Worth at least a shot, as I would be shocked if he was fired. Another option here would obviously be Malzahn.

Running Backs Coach: Ron Gould (California)

- A guy many haven't heard of, he has coached up Marshawn Lynch, Justin Forsett, and Jahvid Best. He'd be a quality hire.

Receivers Coach: Ray Sherman (Dallas Cowboys)

- Here's a guy who turned undrafted Miles Austin into an All-Pro and could likely be out of a job with the Cowboys' head coaching change, although Jason Garrett probably wouldn't fire him. NFL experience would be great for the program, and he would do great things for our WRs.

Offensive Line Coach: Joe Pendry (Alabama)

- Wishful thinking I'm sure, but we're Texas and we have money. This guy coaches up disciplined, tough offensive lines that have turned Greg McElroy into National Championship winning QB Greg McElroy. So he's gotta be good.

What do y'all think?

Tonight I went to a high school basketball game, and in the crowd of about 200 people was none other than Ian Kinsler. I have no idea why he was there, and also why he was still in Dallas. Don't most MLB players make offseason homes elsewhere? I know Cliff Lee lives in Arkansas in the offseason, and I know Torii Hunter lives somewhere in Texas. I was wondering, where do our Rangers players live in the offseason? How many (and which) of them stay in the Metroplex year round?

Our stadium holds 100,000 people, almost all of whom come to the game wearing burnt orange. So why isn't our stadium that loud? You can't tell me that was a hard atmosphere for the UCLA players to handle, and it directly impacted the game. If we want to help the team, we have got to yell. I understand that almost everybody that visits BON, Shaggy Bevo, or Barking Carnival is loud at any and all games that he or she attends, but we have got to get those fans who don't yell loud enough to scream a little.

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     Why do we love college football?

     Is it the fact that the players are playing for the love of the game, not the money? Is it the lack of domed stadiums filled named for corporate sponsors, or the sacred traditions like the Dawg Walk at Georgia and the White Out at Penn State. Maybe it's the fact that the players are free of pesky, leeching agents. Well, I guess it's not that.

     No, the reason we love college football has less to do with football than we think. We love it because of the rivalries, which are more intense than in any other sport. Yankees-Red Sox? Give me Ohio State-Michigan. Lakers-Celtics? I'll take Texas-Oklahoma, thanks.

     We love it because of the fans, who pack the stadiums with their bodies and liven it with deafening noise. In the NFL, there may be a home field advantage. But is there one in college football? Go to Baton Rouge on a Saturday night and you'll have your answer.

     We love showing up for a 7 pm game at noon, tailgating with old friends and watching the 11 o'clock Big Ten game and mooching off neighboring grills for a hamburger, hot dog, or even a little rattlesnake meat.

     We love watching the Thursday night C-USA showdown on TV, having no interest in the game but desperately needing a college football fix.

     We love reading Stuart Mandel, Pat Forde, and Ivan Maisel, lauding them when they praise our teams but ripping them when they slight them.

     We love watching the Heisman Ceremony, and we love striking a pose when our guy wins. We love catching the earlier Awards show, seeing if our favorite defensive back, receiver, or lineman can get the respect he's due.

     We love our heroes, and we hate to see them go to the next level. We love Vince Young, we love Tim Tebow, we love Ty Detmer, and we love Roger Staubach.

     We love 80,000 fans, split down the middle, one half burnt orange, one half crimson and cream. We love "Enter Sandman" blared at Virginia Tech and "Zombie Nation" at Penn State.

     We love Traveller, Sparty, and Big Al. We love Ralphie, Bevo, and Uga.

     We love the upsets, unless they happen to us.

     We love the Rose Bowl and the Rose Bowl Parade, but wish the Fiesta Bowl would go back to Sun Devil Stadium and the Cotton Bowl would return to, well, the Cotton Bowl.

     We love our service academies, and we love the heroes that hit the line of scrimmage before hitting the front lines.

     We love the Grove at Ole Miss, where there is an 18 MPH speed limit in honor of its the great quarterback Archie Manning. We love the Alabama championship winning coaches' statues on the Walk of Champions.

     We love College Gameday, we love watching Lee Corso putting on the mascots' headgear, and we love Erin Andrews.

     We love Fight On, the Notre Dame Victory March, and Boomer Sooner. We love "Rammer Jammer", the Seminole War Chant, and "Pig Sooie".

     We love talking about the year we won it all, but we hate talking about the year we came this close.

     Guys, as the college football season nears, don't get too wrapped up in the wins and losses. Yes winning is important, but we're just fans, not players. If we get too wrapped up in the actual game, we'll miss out on what college football really is.

    And we sure wouldn't love that.

Fall practice has begun; the preseason is here. I'm going to take a look at Texas players' chances to win individual awards, if nothing more than to get a little football talk going:

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I was over on ShaggyBevo reading a thread, and somebody posted the video of the Texas bench taunting then-Arizona State QB Rudy Carpenter during the Holiday Bowl after he talked a bunch of trash about how his Sun Devils were planning to wipe the floor with the Horns:

Texas Longhorns chant "Ruuu-dyyyy" (via sessamoid)

This gave me the idea that it could be cool to gather up all of the "funny" videos (could be funny moments, ridiculous hits, embarrassing plays) from the last few years and put them all on one thread, to kind of make the offseason a little less painful. If y'all have any good ones, go ahead and post the url in your comments and I will try to embed them into the main post.

Here are some other ones I thought of:

Chris Jessie - Texas' favorite son (via toocool49)

Okay, so it wasn't funny at the time, but I think we can all laugh about it now.

Texas Longhorns Crank Dat Soulja Boy @ UCF (via billthebrokerfl)

And we say that team was unfocused.

Matt Nordgren Fumble for Touchdown (via jlo8720)

One of the more bizarre plays I've ever seen.

VY's 80 Yard TD vs Ok State (via trivinity)

What do y'all have?

Although the Heisman Trophy is in many ways a beauty pageant, based more on team and position than whether or not the player is truly the best in the country, I am nonetheless enthralled with the tradition and clout that the award carries. With the United States out of the World Cup and the baseball team eliminated, it is truly the offseason. That being said, here is what must happen for each individual Heisman hopeful to win the trophy. Let the offseason discussion commence.

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