SB Nation User Blog: afh4

Dysfunction At The Bat: A Short Play

afh4 — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 08:18:49 -0000

[Lights up on interior of baseball clubhouse. PLAYERS are seated in front of lockers, ringing the room. WEDGE stands in middle, visibly shaken.]

WEDGE

I really thought that ball that the Garkster hit was foul! I swear it was foul! Did anybody else see it?

[Silence. PLAYERS are each lost in their own worlds. Finally, SIZEMORE speaks.]

SIZEMORE

I couldn't really tell. But it definitely could've been foul. Or fair. I don't know. Does anyone want to talk about my cars?

WEDGE

Oh, c'mon Gradester! It was foul! Did no one else see this?

[PERALTA is offering advice to a younger player, VALBUENA]

PERALTA

So, what I try to do is do the same thing, every day. No matter what.

VALBUENA

So, for a curveball, a real good curve, what do you?

PERALTA

I try to hit it.

VALBUENA

And with a fastball?

PERALTA

Try to hit it. Same swing.

VALBUENA

And a slider?

PERALTA

Also try to hit it. Just swing the bat the same way and put it in play.

VALBUENA

You swing the bat the same way? This works?

PERALTA

Sometimes. One time it worked for a whole year. I am trying to "run into one." That's what the man shouting all the time wants. For me to "run into one."

VALBUENA

What man? Wedge? He's the manager, Jhonny.

PERALTA

He wants me to "run into one." So I am trying to do that. I do not know who he is.

WEDGE

Datz! Didn't you think it was foul?!?

DATZ

Shoot, Eric. I'm so hopped up on Cookies and Cream Muscle Milk I can't tell which one's the baseball and which one's Jamey Carroll!

CARROLL

What can I do to help the team?

DATZ

S*#! TALKING BASEBALL! EVERYBODY RUN!

[DATZ runs out of room.]

WEDGE

Hey, Franciscoster, I thought you made some real nice plays out there today!

PERALTA

Yeah, I liked when you struck out. Also, when you showed poor range.

[Everyone laughs except for FRANCISCO and WEDGE.]

WEDGE

Jhonny Antonio Peralta! You apologize to the Franciscoster right now!

PERALTA

I am sorry that you suck at baseball.

[Everyone laughs. VALBUENA continues his questioning.]

VALBUENA

What if it's raining? What do you do?

PERALTA

I usually try to go and play unless someone tells me I'm not allowed to.

VALBUENA

What about when it's cold out?

PERALTA

I wear a jersey and I play.

VALBUENA

When it's hot?

PERALTA

Same thing. Wear jersey and play.

VALBUENA

In the offseason? In January?

PERALTA

I come here to the ballpark but usually it is pretty empty. So I stand around the infield for three hours and then I go home.

VALBUENA

What position do you play?

PERALTA

[Grins.] Shortstop!

CHOO

Hey, where did Hafner go?

VICTOR

He had to leave for another 3 weeks. He said they'd let him come back in mid July. He doesn't know why but those are the rules for him now.

SIZEMORE

[Tearing up.] He told me he was out of clean jean shorts and had to go get more!

VICTOR

He didn't want you to be upset.

[SIZEMORE cries.]

WEDGE

What about if we started hitting other team's players? Like on purpose?

[CHRIS PEREZ enters as WEDGE speaks.]

CHRIS PEREZ

Seriously? You want me to do that?

PERALTA

I would not listen to that man. We do not know who he is.

CHRIS PEREZ

I mean, I can do that probably.

GARKO

I know you're a noob and all but I'd be careful what you agree to. I'm supposed to get a start in centerfield next week because I kept being a good soldier.

[Enter LEE. Room becomes hushed.]

WEDGE

Cliffster, we're real sorry about all this.

LEE

I'm going to start losing games on purpose.

WEDGE

What? Cliffster. Get a hold of youself.

LEE

I am going to start losing games on purpose because I hate you.

PERALTA

Yay! Someone else hates that man!

Game 79: White Sox 11, Indians 4 (7 innings)

afh4 — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 03:22:06 -0000

More photos » by Mark Duncan - AP

This picture is too reminiscent of a time that I miss for me to not use it.

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After an extended rain delay, the game today was finally called final with the Indians suffering yet another loss. Today's loss was out of the ordinary in that it involved an abysmal Cliff Lee performance. For whatever reason, Lee just didn't have it today and managed to to give up 7 runs on 11 hits over just 3 innings. He was relieved by this Mike Gosling character who has proven that he is in no way a better option than Greg Aquino, Vinnie Chulk, or any other waiver wire fodder the Indians can get their hands on.

The slow death march of 2009 continues and it's hard to know what to focus on; Lee wasn't ever going to repeat as Cy Young winner on a team like this but his performance ballooned his ERA to 3.39, nearly a half point higher than it was coming into today. On top of that, Lee's record is now 4-7 which means nothing except that he'll probably get even less votes, if you're into that sort of thing.

The Indians did get a homerun out of Travis Hafner today, who now has 8 jacks in 107 ABs. That works out to one round tripper for every 13.375 at-bats. For reference, in 2006 he hit one out every 10.8 at-bats, in 2005 he did it every 14.72 at bats and in 2008 it was every 39.6. Pronk is even ahead of his 2007 pace, when the number was 22.7. In an extremely surreal season, it's become clear that Hafner's power is still present and accounted for when he's healthy which can only be seen as a good thing.

The Indians will play again tomorrow, with Jeremy Sowers facing Jose Contreras at 7:05.

Game 69: Cubs 8, Indians 7 (10 Innings)

afh4 — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 00:48:18 -0000

More photos » by Nam Y Huh - AP

Kerry Wood goes home, fails.

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When a season is going down the toilet, every loss seems somehow bizarre. Maybe it's true, maybe it's not but today seemed pretty surreal. When the game entered a rain delay in the 8th inning, the Indians were leading 7-2 and Cliff Lee had just left after pitching a good game: his final line was 7.0 IP and 3 ER. The bullpen waited around for the rain to end and then entered and promptly exploded. Joe Smith allowed four runs to cross the plate (one inherited) but, entering the ninth the Indians still led 7-6 with Kerry Wood entering the game. Before the season there was a lot of ink (much of it my own) devoted to building an instant mythology for Kerry Wood and, frankly, it all looks wasted right now. Wood blew his third save of the season when he surrendered a game tying solo shot to Derek Lee.

From there, it seemed almost routine when the Indians lost in the tenth with Luis Vizcaino on the mound. The fact that Wood wasn't used in a couple of close and late situations over the last two games has raised some ruckus among fans and I suspect that the fact that Wood was only good for one inning today, despite having not pitched in five days, will cause the same kind of clamor. However, I'm not sure it should; maybe Wedge just isn't confident in Wood. Why should he be? His numbers are hardly any better than Greg Aquino's and Aquino just got cut.

As has been typical lately, the bullpen's seppuku act covered up some great offense. The Indians' touched up Rich Harden for 7 runs in five innings, including a 2-5 day for Jhonny Peralta (including an improable triple) and homeruns out of Martinez and Valbuena. In his last 53 plate appearances, Luis is showing serious signs of life with 4 doubles and 7 walks. He still has a lot of work to do but early returns are encouraging.

It's funny, five or so weeks ago it was obvious the season was over because of the bullpen; then, suddenly, that seemed not obvious. Now, that seems obvious again.

Game 67: Brewers 7, Indians 5

afh4 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 02:48:42 -0000

More photos » by Tony Dejak - AP

We're under a contractual obligation to use any picture this funny.

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After a brief sojourn in normalcy, the Cleveland Indians have returned to bullpen hell. For the second night in a row, the Indians offense probably did enough to win yet the team lost. Tonight, Jensen Lewis was the culprit, surrendering 4 ERs in 2.2 IP. There were significant offensive bright spots, with Luis Valbuena hitting two doubles, Shin-Soo Choo going 3-4 and Travis Hafner smacking a two run homerun. The bullpen can't be totally blamed, as Sowers only mustered a mediocre performance in five innings and with the bullpen already taxed last night, that's not a good situation.

It's becoming increasingly clear that the Indians are a very good offensive team, as they are now fourth in the league in runs scored and have a number of truly outstanding offensive performers. The problem is that the Indians bullpen appears to be regressing to it's early season form and, frankly, it can't be called unexpected. Journeymen relievers managed to put together a number of good weeks in a row; that was nice but obviously couldn't be expected to continue. However, it could be expected that the Indians supposedly "good" relievers would right themselves and be able to stabilize the bullpen when these journeymen relievers faltered. This has not happened, at all, as Lewis, Perez and Betancourt are all mired in various forms of not performing. Only Wood has bailed the water out of his ship and he's not ever going to be used at this rate.

Game 65: Cardinals 3, Indians 1

afh4 — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 23:00:37 -0000

More photos » by David Richard - AP

Albert Pujols was the King of Ohio today.

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That the Indians lost a game that Tomo Ohka started isn't exactly startling, however, it is startling that it wasn't Ohka's fault. Tomo (if I may be so bold) was brilliant today, turning in a 7 IP, 2 ER performance and never having to pitch out of too much trouble. This was Ohka's best start since April of 2007, which is only impressive until you realize he didn't pitch in the majors in 2008. Still, those 2 runs proved to be too much for the Indians' offense which was in one of it's more anemic forms today, sporting two sub .200 batting averages in Valbuena and Crowe. The game got further away from the Indians in the 8th inning when Rafael Perez looked alternately brilliant (2 K's) and shaky (1 BB, 1 WP). I don't want to frighten anyone but is anyone else starting to see Ferd when they look at Perez?

Today's loss was an average one, simply a matter of the hits not coming when they needed to; the Indians had opportunities late in the game in the forms of a Peralta lead off double in the 7th, a two on, one out situation for the heart of the lineup for the 8th, and two hits to lead off the 9th. Of course, the first hit in the 9th was Josh Barfield trying to turn a pop-up into a double and getting caught in a run-down (at least that's what I'm surmising from Gameday) which, well, what can you say except for whatever, Barfield.

The most notable element of this game was Albert Pujols' continued assertion that he is the best player in all of baseball, belting two homeruns and a double. To say that Albert is good is to vastly understate the situation.

The Indians continue to soldier through interleague play with one more game against the Cardinals and then a series against Milwaukee.

Tomorrow's the matchup to watch with Cliff Lee facing Chris Carpenter at 8:05. See you at the Prog for all the marbles.

Whither, Dr. Faustus, whither?

afh4 — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 07:37:02 -0000

Though it hardly seems like it, it's been two full years since we watched Fausto Carmona annihilate the American League. In 2007, Fausto did everything right and was arguably the best pitcher in the entire AL. It was stunning to watch and raised a lot of questions about the young man: what is the secret to his success (groundballs, new teeth), will he stand up to the pressure of the playoffs (resoundingly so), and, most importantly, what is an appropriate nickname for him?

There were many competitors for the title, perhaps most memorably "Ice Cold Fausto", a straightforward attempt to say that Fausto was good like beer is good. Simpleminded, yes, but also effective. However, what stands out to me, even now two years later, was a brief border skirmish over the use of the nickname Dr. Faust. This allusion to the Faust legend didn't make a great deal of sense at the time-as Jay argued, Carmona was simply a gifted young pitcher; to put another way, Fausto was not a tragedy. He wasn't even a drama. He was a Stephen Segal action flick, with the role of Fausto C. Carmona played by Stephen Segal.

Since that sanguine time, things have changed. Fausto has, rather suddenly, become a tragic figure. As his control has disintegrated so have the once lofty hopes that many held for him; with Fausto now somewhere in Arizona it seems appropriate to revisit the discussion. Is Fausto a Faustian figure? The two most famous versions of Faust are those of Christopher Marlowe and Johann Goethe; if Fausto is going to be Faust, he might as well be one of the famous Fausts.

Marlowe's The Tragical History of Dr. Faustus is a relatively traditional telling of Faust and appeared within a few years of Faust first appearing in print anywhere. As such, Marlowe's is the first major Faust in the English language. Dr. Faustus essentially comes to the end of all learning, having mastered Logic, Medicine, Law and Divinity. Since he's done with all that, he decides to get into magic and, within a couple of pages, he's face to face with Mephastophilis, a sort of servant devil to Lucifer, the head devil. They get to talking and strike a deal: Mephastophilis will be Dr. Faustus' servant for the next 24 years, at which point Dr. Faustus will turn his soul over to Lucifer. As these things tend to go, Dr. Faustus is supposed to sign the contract in his own blood and when he cuts his arm to draw the mortal ink, the wound is instantly healed in the shape of the phrase "Homo, fuge!": "Man, fly!" Obviously, someone is trying to tell Dr. Faustus something. He ignores the message and breaks the wound open again, signing the contract. When the paperwork is all filed, Dr. Faustus sets to work and does, umm, nothing all that interesting. He just sort of bides his time until he's damned via dismemberment.

So: is Fausto comparable to Marlowe's Dr. Faustus? There is one exceptionally obvious parallel here in that Fausto's first meltdown season, 2008, was at age 24-did his deal with Mephistophilis run out just in time for the Indians ill-fated run last year? This line of thinking doesn't hold up to a great deal of scrutiny. If Fausto had had a 24 year deal with the devil and it allowed him to be an awesome pitcher, shouldn't he have been more awesome in 2006? And shouldn't he have been able to use that deal to get better teeth sometime prior to his entrance into the Indians' organization? The only possible interpretation here is that Fausto had a 24 year deal with the devil that he was unaware of up until 2007 and, well, I just don't see how that's possible. If he made a deal with the devil, he would know it. It's a pretty dramatic scenario, at least from what I read in Marlowe.

There is a point to be made regarding Fausto still being in his deal with the devil and wasting it idly. After all, Fausto still has the turbo sinker, the tool that the devil almost certainly would've provided in this scenario. However, he refuses to dedicate himself to using his gift from hell effectively, arriving to camp out of shape and willfully missing the strike zone (ok, maybe not willfully). Still, the only way I can see this version of Faust being a good comp for Carmona is if he has a tattoo on his forearm that says "Homo, fuge!" in which case he would immediately become my favorite athlete ever, for all time.

Goethe's Faust is a much later publication, not appearing until 200 years after Faust entered the English language. This version of Faust is exceptionally dense literature, so much so that it's considered the greatest work of the exceptionally dense German literary tradition. Faust is God's favorite mortal, again a scholar in the pursuit of all knowledge and again he has turned to studying magic. At some point a poodle follows him home (seriously) and the poodle turns into Mephistopheles, who cuts the same kind of deal with Faust as in the Marlowe play. From the signing of the contract, things get rather nasty. Faust falls in love with Gretchen, who murders her mother with a sleeping potion so that they can be together. Then, Gretchen gets pregnant and her brother is angry, so Faust and the devil kill her brother. Gretchen has the baby and drowns it and goes to jail. Faust and the devil try to spring her and fail. The first part of Goethe's Faust ends with his fate unresolved; there's a second part that's very heady and reveals that Faust was only half damned, or so I'm told. I've never read it.

Look, this is Fausto. Fausto was already an unbelievably gifted individual-one of the greatest in all the land. Yet, driven by his failure at the end of 2007, he turned to the devil for help in bringing a championship to Cleveland.

His first two years of the pact, 2008 and 2009, have been utter disasters-just as Goethe's Faust's early days. Victor injured his elbow, probably because of a murderous sleeping potion that Fausto administered, Joe Borowski sputtered and collapsed, presumably because Fausto courted his sister and shamed her, and, finally, David Dellucci was cut because he drowned his illegitimate offspring-that's what everyone in Shaker Heights is saying anyway. More than that, there's an element of hope and suspense left here: Fausto is at the end of Goethe's Part 1. Part 2 of our Faust legend appears to have already started and Dr. Fausto may still re-enter the picture this season and find redemption.

"Think'st thou that I, who saw the face of God,
And tasted the eternal joys of heaven,
Am not tormented with ten thousand hells
In being deprived of everlasting bliss?"
- Marlowe's Mephastophilis

Game 61: Royals 9, Indians 0

afh4 — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 02:04:20 -0000

More photos » by Tony Dejak - AP

Ahh, dude. Your rug? Shit, dude. I'm sorry, dude.

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After a string of 8 consecutive decent starts, Carl Pavano blew one today. Pavano simply couldn't keep the ball out of play, recording only one walk and one strikeout while facing 24 batters in 4.2 innings. At times, it seemed like Carl was going to escape until, with two outs already recorded, Alberto Callaspo (who I was once obsessed with the Indians acquiring) socked a grand slam to make the score 9-0 in the 5th.

After that, the night was a blur; the Indians saw good, low leverage performances from Jensen Lewis and Joe Smith but, other than that, very little is worth noting. With the loss tonight, the Tribe fell back into last place in the AL Central, a half game behind Kansas City.

With the sands of the season continuing to slip through the hourglass of time, the Indians continue in their holding pattern with a little (but not much) hope for the future. Tomorrow night the Indians will trot out Jeremy Sowers (who's great at plenty of things, I'm sure) to face the best pitcher in baseball Zack Greinke. After that, Tomo Ohka and David Huff will face the Cardinals, setting up an ace matchup between Cliff Lee and Chris Carpenter. Not that this is news, but the Indians need to win games started by guys with last names like "Sowers", "Huff", "Ohka" or "Van Arsdale" if things are going to get turned around any time soon. There are just 28 games left until the All-Star Break and so it's likely that the next 25 will determine the fates of Mark DeRosa and his merry band of trade chips, as well as the Indians season.

Shapiro's House: May 25, 2009

afh4 — Tue, 26 May 2009 19:11:54 -0000

Game 46: Indians 11, Rays 10

afh4 — Tue, 26 May 2009 01:46:49 -0000

More photos » by Tony Dejak - AP

A day in which Ryan Garko and Jeremy Sowers are heroes is a day to behold.

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There is no point in searching for moral victories in Fausto Carmona's starts at this point; either Fausto is going to correct his control issues or he's going to be a pitcher sporting a 6+ ERA. It doesn't matter if some games he gets more groundballs or seems more composed or whatever. He has to stop walking people, period. After his abysmal start today, Carmona has a 35:33 K:BB ratio; in only three of his ten starts has Carmona struck out more than he's walked. No amount of double play balls is going to fix Fausto and, frankly, if this weren't a season in which the Indians had already lost three starters to the DL, a trip to Columbus might be in order (someone want to enlighten us on options status?).

By the time Fausto and Jensen Lewis had closed their books, the Indians were down 10-0 and the game was basically over. But, a funny thing happened on the way to the forum and the Indians had cut the margin to 10-4 by the bottom of the ninth; still unsurmountable but at least not a shutout. Then, well, then this:

Grady Sizemore walks. None out.

Victor Martinez pops out to third basemen Evan Longoria. One out.

Jhonny Peralta singles on a soft line drive to left fielder Carl Crawford. Grady Sizemore to 2nd. One out.

Shin-Soo Choo reaches on force attempt. Fielding error by shortstop Reid Brignac. Jhonny Peralta to 3rd. Shin-Soo Choo to 2nd.

Mark DeRosa lines out to third baseman Evan Longoria. Two out.

Ryan Garko homers on a line drive to left field. Jhonny Peralta scores. Shin-Soo Choo scores. Two out.

Asdrubal Cabrera walks. Two out.

Ben Francisco walks. Asdrubal Cabrera to 2nd. Two out.

Jamey Carroll walks. Asdrubal Cabrera to 3rd. Ben Francisco to 2nd. Two out.

Grady Sizemore walks. Asdrubal Cabrera scores. Ben Francisco to 3rd. Jamey Carroll to 2nd. Two out.

Victor Martinez singles on a groundball to center fielder B.J. Upton. Ben Francisco scores. Jamey Carroll scores. Grady Sizemore to 2nd. Two out.

Indians 11, Rays 10. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you get Jeremy Sowers a major league win.

In all seriousness, a night after taking an extra-innings loss it was an emphatic response from an oft-maligned offense. The Indians offense is good, or at least significantly better than league average, and that's one bright spot in a dark season.

So, obviously, a very exciting win and one well worth re-watching on your DVR. I don't mean to undersell this incredible comeback but I can't help but wish that this could've happened on a day in which we were not sending two starters to the DL. I'd love to think of this as an important win in the context of the season, and if it is one I'll be thrilled, but future expectations shouldn't be shaped by some concept of an 'emotional turning point.' With Carmona's dismal performance and the transactions of the day, this Indians' pitching staff is no longer the one which we all envisioned being part of a playoff push and as the staff loses it's war of attrition against the rest of the league, Cleveland becomes a shell of it's projected self.

But, hey, baseball is supposed to be entertaining and this game was certainly that. At the very least, the Tribe was great today.

Game 40: Kansas City 6, Cleveland 5

afh4 — Wed, 20 May 2009 02:51:57 -0000

More photos » by Charlie Riedel - AP

I wonder if later the Indians will lose at baseball. Probably.

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The Indians lost again tonight. It happened when Kerry Wood gave up 4 runs in the 9th, ruining an 8 inning, 2 run effort for Cliff Lee.

That's pretty much what happened. The Indians lost. Again. The Indians will probably lose again tomorrow. The Indians might lose 100 games this season.

So, yeah. The Indians lost.