Question: Jose Lopez in the two-slot.
Answer: You're serious?
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Question: Which player on the Mariners is the most worth paying to watch?
Answer: Adrian Beltre
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Question: What should new Mariners GM Jack Zduriencik actually do first?
Answer: Start planning what to do with the compensation picks gained from letting Raul Ibanez fumble about in the greener pastures of somebody else's outfield
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Question: Name him.
Answer: Zoidberg
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Question: If Raul Ibanez were to play left field in every game in 2009, where do you think his defense would come out, in terms of runs below the average for his position?
Answer: 10 runs below average
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