Take a look at the final all-star ballot returns for western conference guards this season:

Brandon Roy (aka The Natural, Roy Wonder, The Lord of the Racing Stripes, The Little Fundamental, The House of Hoops) is 11th place in all-star voting among all west guards, 21st in all guards, and has ONE MILLION less votes than TRACY "I'm finally proving that my name is only supposed to used in naming girls" MCGRADY. He's behind Jet, Skip to my Lou, the oldest starting point guard in the world, and his best bud, Jamal Crawford. I'm not gonna name Nash, Parker, or Ginobili among the players ahead of Roy I'm pissed about, mostly because I respect the hell of them. But the other guys... are you kidding me!?

Let me first say that Brandon Roy is the third best guard in the west, after Kobe and CP3. I'll even go so far as to say he's the fourth best guard in the league (with Pookie ahead of him). Nevertheless, I'm gonna just focus on the west guard balloting and how the players ahead of Roy compare to him:

Roy has more points per game (23.0) than literally evey player ahead of him with the exception of that fecal monkey Kobe. He has more rebounds per game (4.5) than anyone but Kobe, CP3, and JKidd. He has more assists per game (5.3) than everyone but CP3, Nash, JKidd, and Tony Parker. AND he has the sixth highest PER in the league, at an astronomical 25.10, a number only behind the likes of LeBron, CP3, Wade, Dwight Howard, and Kobe. Our little superstar that could is easily one of the ten best players in the NBA and one of the top five most complete players...

YET LUKE RIDNOUR HAS OVER 100,000 votes on him!!!!!!!!

Who's voting for Luke, btw? He plays for the Milwaukee Bucks, right? Who the hell likes the Bucks? You'd think he'd at least be behind Michael Redd right? Well, you'd be wrong my friend. Very wrong. Redd Man isn't even in the top eleven!

This, plus the Yi, Iverson, and TMac fiascos are making me sick. RESPECT superstar talent peoples!

and.... GO YI!

If there is a God, I just met Him...

I just watched my Portland Trail Blazers beat the Sacramento Kings by 29 points, 110 to 81. Now, keep in mind, this is the pre-season, and the Kings didn't have Kevin Martin or Brad Miller (on top of a team that just downright sucks), but it wasn't necessarily by how many points we beat the Kings: it's how we beat the Kings.

Greg Oden, our much-anticipated number one overall pick who came back from freakin' microfracture surgery, scored 13 points and had 5 rebounds. Now, that might sound low to you... but fear not! He played a little under 20 minutes. Over 48 minutes that roughly translates to like 31 points and 12-13 rebounds. HOLY CHRIST ALMIGHTY! Kid's a G, and he's for real.

B-Roy, you unbelievable mass of basketball-ruling protoplasm. I love you so much. You're just too cool for school. 14 points, 7 assists, and 2 rebounds in 23 minutes. STUD.

LaMarvelous... I want to have your children. Firstly, you're so underrated by the rest of the NBA... it's actually unfair. You'll show them this year. Same stats as Oden, but in less than 25 minutes. And keep in mind, Lamarcus had a terrible first half of shooting. He exploded in like 12 minutes of playing time. Oy vey!

Sergio and Jay-Bay-Bay (Jerryd Bayless), I commend you two. Sergio, your shooting is actually decent now, and your alley-oops to RUDY we're fabulous. Oh my! JayBay you da man. Better than Jarrett Jack ever was... or is... or ever will be. GIVE 'EM DA BAYLESS FACE!

Martell and Travis. Two more studs. I've never seen such aggressiveness from Martell. He's a whole new man now, and i've watched him since the beginning of his career. 15 points and 6 rebounds in 26 minutes!!!! AYEAYEAYE. My god man. Control yourself. Travis, poor shooting night, but you're still the man. 9 points and 7 rebounds is nothing to sneeze at.

And RUDY. I would be lying if I said I'm not infatuated with you. Dude you could seriously be a huge star. Those passes, the alley-oops, the craziness: I don't remember the last time Portland had a player like you. Only 6 points and 5 assists... but those were the sickest 6 points and 5 assists ever. Aye carumba!

I know this was only a pre-season game, but as a formally-struggling Blazer fan, this was nirvana. I love this team. I really do. It's a love that can't be explained, and only enjoyed.

NBA Champions 09! In KP I trust.