Set to the tune of "Getting Rid of Britta" (italics in your best Pierce voice)

Verse 1:

Saying goodbye to Willie
was not a hard thing to do
'cause when someone's 3 for 34
we'd rather have Jason LaRue

Chorus:

The Reds got rid of Willie (he had to go)
They made room for the T (he's the Toddfather)

The Reds got rid of Willie
They made room for the T (he's the GDT)

Verse 2:

I didn't know when I saw him pinch hit
That he could ever be that bad
Oh so tiny and small, he seemed to have it all
But he made me say Walt "Crap! That ain't cool..."

Chorus:

The Reds got rid of Willie
They made room for the T (he's the Toddfather)

The Reds got rid of Willie (he had to go)
They made room for the T (he's the GDT)

Verse:

It isn't like he could ever hit here
But I would trade him for the lowest minor leaguer
He bummed us out...he blues our souls
He flied out to short and left us less than whole

Chorus:

The Reds got rid of Willie
They made room for the T (he's the Toddfather)

The Reds got rid of Willie (he had to go)
They made room for the T (he's the GDT)

So with all the early Votto trade talk focused on teams that actually match up well with the Reds for a trade, I got to thinking about how trades with the other teams might look.

So here's your mission: list who it would take to give up Votto to any or all of the 29 teams in the MLB.  Does it take 12 players to send Votto to Houston?  Do the Cubs build a package around Castro?  Straight up for McCutchen?

The rules: none.  Also, the prizes: none.

Give it your best shot.  And what better way to drive home the fact that WE ARE NOT TRADING JOEY VOTTO?

I had grand plans of taking nice photographs at the game and posting them for all to enjoy, but the threat of rain had me leaving my camera gear at home, and so instead I offer seven insights garnered from the game, which featured an NL central rival (and all around good guy) taking on the master of generating buzz around 1st round draft picks.

Jose Tabata should be playing left field for the Reds.  The man is fast enough to lead off, plays a defense often described as "the opposite of Jonny Gomes" (UZR liked him in LF last year to the tune of 6.5), and even scaled the wall to almost pull back a homerun.  Would I prefer Andrew McCutchen?  Sure I would.  But Tabata strikes me as more realistic in the "let’s dream about who the Reds are going to add" world and besides, we already have someone in CF.

Mike Morse should not.   Not since Hunter Pence has someone looked so awkward on a baseball field.  The man’s batting stance doesn’t allow for hitting pitches on the outside half of the plate.  He’s had nice numbers in the past, and I know folks here have clamored for him at one time or another, but really, he’s painful to watch.  If that's not reason enough, he’s also not a good defender.  He's best suited for the Columbus Blue Jackets.

Nationals Park is a nice place to take in a ballgame.  Despite living in DC for awhile, I hadn’t been to a game at the new stadium yet (although I’ve done the RFK thing on multiple occasions).  For the price, you can’t beat the seats we had, which were against the rail in the left field corner (basically Bartman-land).  A nice food selection (it was $1 night, so peanuts, popcorn, and hotdogs were a buck), okay beverage choices, and a number of fun non-baseball options round out the experience.

Good defense is fun to watch.  Both CFs had some nice throws, with Roger Bernadina nailing Brandon Wood at 3rd trying to pull a Reds move and go first-to-third on a single.  Jayson Werth’s sliding catch was not quite up to Jay Bruce standards of excellence, and Cutch snagged a liner from rookie-of-the-year hopeful Danny Espinosa (who jacked a go-ahead homer in the 7th).  The Nats handled a failed suicide squeeze nicely in the 4th as well, which isn’t something you see every day.

Seeing ex-Reds is always nice.  Cherry hit a solo shot and made a nice diving stop at the hot corner, and the Laynce Daynce came in as a defensive sub in the 7th.  Todd "Iced" Coffey did not make an appearance, allowing the Nats to hold onto their lead.

Neil Walker let me down.  I was completely banking on Walker tearing it up so I could gush about how he’s the solution at 3rd base for years to come, but then he went 0-4 including a GIDP.  But I’m still sold on Walker, who I think is destined for greatness.  He’s a hometown kind-of-guy who would fit well in Cincinnati, is versatile, and can handle a bat.  The Pirates would do well to continue building around this guy, along with Cutch and Tabata.

So I wanted to put something together in honor of Opening Day, so here it is.  I've borrowed another popular Sporcle format and created a Reds Opening Day Safecracker quiz.  Instructions are there, but basically, you need to provide the requested facts in reverse chronological order.  All facts are Opening Day related, and all answers work backwards from 2010 to 2006.  I think this will probably be pretty easy, although there are some random tough questions mixed in.

Good luck, and GO REDS!  They're my favorite squad!

http://www.sporcle.com/games/ashersky/redssafecracker

It's been awhile, so here's another quiz.  I don't know if this is hard or easy, to be honest, as I am terrible at word scrambles generally.  So here's 4 minutes to figure out ten scrambles, which is longer than normal for word scramble quizzes.  All the answers are current Reds players, so anyone getting to the quiz from this site should have no problems figuring this out.

EDIT: Spoilers in the comments, if you worry about that kind of thing.

http://www.sporcle.com/games/ashersky/scrambledredsplayers

Here's the latest quiz, much sooner than I anticipated.  How well do you know the Reds players?  Well enough to name them by place of birth?  That's what this quiz is out to prove, as you'll have seven minutes to name 20 players currently on the 40-man according to their place (that's city + state or city + country) of birth.  And no, you can't just toss names out there until you get them all, as you'll have to answer in order, and you can't skip ahead.

So go for it!

http://www.sporcle.com/games/ashersky/RedsbyPOB

Here's the first quiz for the new season!  To kick off the 2011 seasons of Reds quizzes, let's pay homage to the site that kept us fed during the hungry off-season (although I missed the Reposters...hint hint).  Can you name 20 questions about your beloved Red Reporter in under three minutes?  I've kept the answers easy, and on some you won't have to type the whole thing out to get credit. 

Enjoy!

http://www.sporcle.com/games/ashersky/RedReporterFacts

So imagine you bought a large milkshake, any flavor, to go.  After enjoying about half of it, you realize you aren't going to finish it.  But, this is a great milkshake.  What to do?  Luckily, you are at home, so you put it in the freezer.  Then the next day, after lunch, you decide to have the rest of it.

But, how best to turn your frozen-solid shake into what it once was?  There is no "auto-defrost-milkshake" button on the microwave.  If you zap it like it's food, the shake-matter gets hot on the outside and the middle remains frozen.  If you defrost it, you could end up with flavored milk.  Hot shake is not tasty.  Frozen shake is undrinkable.

So, how do you get it to return to the right consistency?  Or can you?  Was it better to just let it go the night before?

I've copied the format of many a Sporcle quiz on this one: the grab bag.  Name the Reds-related items under each category listed.  There are a few statistical categories and a few trivial categories to mix it up.  I'd be impressed if someone was able to get every single answer without looking them up, but a good number of these should be known or easily guessed.  So have at it, Reds fans!

http://www.sporcle.com/games/ashersky/RedsGrabBag

The Reds's defense of late inspired this quiz.  Name the top three in errors committed on the Reds for the seasons 1990 to 2009.  A lot of duplicates on this, and so you only get five minutes to fill in 60 blanks.  Obviously, most of this is based on number of chances, not fielding skill, but it is interesting to see who makes the list and who doesn't.  Enjoy.

http://www.sporcle.com/games/ashersky/RedsErrors

Here's a fun quiz that shouldn't be too hard.  Trying to mix it up for you, I've got 20 baseball players listed who have the same initials as current Reds.  Name the Reds that match up.  You can't just name random Reds though--you'll have to name them in order.  So have fun and knock these out fast -- you've got four minutes!

http://www.sporcle.com/games/ashersky/RedsInitials

So here it is, for the off-day.  The Chapman quiz--20 facts in 10 minutes, but it's probably more like 2 minutes for 14 facts and 8 for the other six.  This is a "fun" quiz, and no one will get all 20 without cheating.  I would put 18/20 as the pinnacle.  So let's see your awesomeness at naming facts about awesomeness incarnate.  Rock on.  Rock hard.

http://www.sporcle.com/games/ashersky/Chapmania

So I'm coming at you with what I believe to be the toughest quiz yet.  You have ten full minutes to try and guess a grand total of EIGHT players.  And what makes those eight players special?  They each had no more than 5 plate appearances for the Cincinnati Reds, all of which came during the years 2000-2009.  I could have made this longer and harder by including more years, but I thought limiting it to the last decade was the best way to give everyone a chance at doing well.

So, without further ado, the link is below.  Good luck!

http://www.sporcle.com/games/ashersky/5orlessPAs2000s