SB Nation User Blog: asymsynap

At THIS time... in Vancouver

asymsynap — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 23:00:22 -0000

Any modern day discussion of the Canucks has to start with #1 Luongo. Superlatives fly at the mention of his name, but the only one he is interested in is ‘Stanley Cup winner’, nothing more. Which brings me to my first rant (Rant #1 if you are keeping score at home). If you are going to use nicknames or turns-of-phase, don't choose lame ones! Bobby Lou is not a worthy nick for Roberto. In fact ‘Roberto’ alone is a far, far better tag. Bingo, Bango, Bongo- should ALWAYS precede the sound of a shriek, induced by a Casino-Royale-styled-open-seat torture being administered to the noxious idiot uttering the phrase. The team name is the ‘Canucks’, variations of the name, like ‘nucks’, ‘canuckleheads’ or ‘canooos’ are strictly reserved for the feeble-minded and should NOT be splattered about the place like a puke-fest emanating from the uninvited fat chick at your house party. Apologies to the blog.

Rant #2, if you are going to have an aww-shucks folksy but dim colour analyst, like Tommy, you can’t also have an aww-shucks folksy but dim play-by-play commentator like Joey Kenward. The only thing more offensive on the Team 1040 is their advertising, and of course, Pratt.

Rant #3, 1040 advertising, if you are not being polluted with a bad Michael Caine impersonation hawking easy credit rip-offs, you are getting harassed by someone urging you to mutilate your junk, or hearing the same lame Burger King commercial (like there could be something politically correct about junk-food lunch alternatives) for the 1,040th time that day. Do they give a 1040 discount? I can appreciate that Hughson and Shorthouse have deservedly migrated to bigger assignments, but in a market that has done a good job holding up the elite standard of Jim Robson, you can’t drop down to the basement without seriously pissing off your listeners. Joey is fine for post game interviews in a 30 second clip, but if you have to pinch hit for Shorthouse, Rick Ball is the only credible alternative they have on staff.

Pratt is plain and simply a moron. It is a testament to the quality of Don Taylor that the show remains viable. Usually, Taylor plays the willing Ron McLean to Pratt’s Don Cherry (though Cherry actually understands a thing or two about hockey), but at times, magical moments, Taylor calls Pratt on his stupidity, as he did recently when he insisted that Burke had to be given some of the credit for the current Canuck success. It was hilarious to listen to Pratt trying to defend his indefensible position. The mental fumbling was reminiscent of Mike Tyson. Pratt doesn’t deal well with people who point out his obvious inconsistencies, so let’s hope he has played his cards once too often and can’t get Taylor dismissed like the ‘Moj’ was. The one useful purpose Pratt serves is that he is one of those broadcasters with the perfect blend of a loud mouth and such trifling knowledge of their sport, that you would be hard pressed to find any listener that couldn't rightfully feel superior in their understanding of the game. A strategy employed by stations that can't find or afford real talent.

Pratt's success is due to an unflinching belief in himself, in the face of everything pointing to the opposite conclusion. At the outset of the player's strike he assured all, that the players would win that fight, trumpeting as proof, the invicibility of Bob Goodenow. Brian Burke, never one to suffer fools lightly, had rightfully banished Pratt from his press conferences. For the entertainment factor, I can see the station having a blow-hard like Pratt, but shouldn't they have some professional pride? Feel a bit embarrassed that dogs and monkeys frequently beat him at predictions?

On the plus side, the ‘Team’ has been improving their programming all the time. Added content from Ferraro, Crawford, McGuire and Green is a movement toward excellence. Rome is burning, but not quickly enough. Blake Price provides way better programming for our market, Rome should be used as ‘filler’, good choice. Price filled in for Pratt for one game-day broadcast with Taylor, late in the regular season, and it was impressive how good that show was. Almost as impressive as our

Vancouver girl Emmanuelle

via tbn0.google.com

Nice guns Emmanuelle

Rant#4 How does the Sun only give a B grade to Mitchell in the first round?

Now, for what I think of the team. I have been a hockey fan (Montreal originally, before the Canucks entered in 70). I remember: 82, 94, Kurtenbach, Smith, Lever, Odliefson, Lupul, Fraser.

I especially remember 12 and 16. This team reminds me of what I like best about 12 and 16. Hard-work, determination, and more than just a little talent. Sundin fits the mold and I would love to see a Stanley Cup ring with the Canucks name on his finger, and Roberto’s. But not as much as on Stan’s.

So, while I may remember 82 and 94, at those times I never really felt they could win it. During both of those runs, it seemed like a very pleasant dream that you don’t want to be waken from. This year is different. I really feel in my bones that this team could be the one. Like our girl Carrie believe in Neo.

via whatisthematrix.warnerbros.com

Nice guns Carrie!

The St. Louis series seemed a bit strange. We never truly got a hate-on for the team like a really good series will give you. So I will keep my voodoo instruction to the side until Iginla, Kane or Lidstrom prove themselves worthy. Instructions here:

Howto do voodoo

On a serious note, I welcome back Taylor Pyatt to Vancouver, God bless you, God bless the Bragnalo family and God bless Carly. May her love always fill you, and her spirit always move you. The love you share is eternal.

Now boys, get out there and bust some butts.

On Judging Toronto

asymsynap — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 06:35:33 -0000

For anyone who is over 30 and from Toronto, I hardly need to remind you what happened March 1992 during the World Series. An American honor guard had carried the Canadian flag into the stadium upside, which is generally considered an act of disrespect.

At the time there was a lot of speculation over how the people of Toronto would react when the series returned to Toronto. It was expected that there would be a mixed reaction to the American flag and anthem.

I am a native born Vancouverite. My regard for Toronto and its natives was minimal at that point. I had the misfortune of enduring years of watching Toronto play on Hockey Night in Canada when there were only two teams in Canada. Toronto being by far the lesser of the two teams, yet having the majority of the air time was a frustration I still carry with me The people were doubtlessly dim, the summers being far too humid and winters far too cold. No redeaming landscapes worth looking at. Politically, as a Westerner, I expected Central Canada to take more than they gave and be obtuse in their failure to recognize it.

So my expectation from the people of Toronto was minimal. I expected a lot of animosity over the flag incident and as a reflection of tension building that an alien city was on the threshold of winning the World Series, the pinnacle of America's pasttime.

When the time came, game three of the World Series and the first World Series game on foreign soil, the people of Toronto stood respectfully and cheered the American flag as it was carried onto the field by an RCMP honour guard, and then in a moment the sent chills down my spine, sang "God Bless America". And they sang it loud, and they sang it proud.

Now the return of Mats Sundin is nothing much compared to that World Series game, but for the sake of the monumental respect that the people of Toronto earned at that moment, I sure hope they show the same amount of class as that moment, when Mats takes to the ice on Saturday.

The letter people in Vancouver received.

asymsynap — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 17:38:08 -0000

Editor's Note: Presented without comment.

Dear Citizens of Vancouver,

Last season, I had two things on my mind. One was the consideration of retirement. The other, I hoped a deal could be signed to keep me in Toronto through retirement, if I chose to continue playing. Though the people of Toronto did not readily accept me, after years of playing every game with grit and intensity, they gradually became, I think, quite fond of me. Though it hurt to see it, I believed that last season, those people who so vocally wanted to drive me out of Toronto were the loud-mouthed minority. I thought that the years of service, devotion to my team, and my proud identification as a Maple Leaf meant more than being cast off as trade bait. I am not so sure any more.

In any case, despite many efforts by me and my agent to find some common ground for a new deal, throughout last season and this, I have come to accept that the current management has absolutely no interest in keeping my association with Toronto. For my part, I accept the criticism that thoughts of retirement made the situation worse. I understood that all along, but had to be completely honest about my feelings that I did not want to play at less than my top form, which requires all of my focus and determination.

I have kept my thoughts about Toronto management to myself and will continue that. The sting of rejection from Toronto fans has left a lasting impression on me. The intensity of the interest by Vancouver management has helped ease much of that pain. It is good to feel wanted after being cast off by people you thought were dear friends. It is nice to be playing where the management seems to be focused. It is also nice to continue playing where hockey matters. In Vancouver, my hope is that with my former team-mate Kyle, we can deliver what we so much longed for in Toronto, a Stanley Cup.

Skoal,

Mats