• joined Jan 23, 2013
  • last login Apr 20, 2014
  • posts 27
  • comments 739

Kings fan.
Giants fan.
Nothing else matters

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  • MLB San Francisco Giants
  • NBA Sacramento Kings
User Blog

Travis Outlaw Outplays KD, Bench Outplays None

With Rudy, Isaiah, and Reggie out, the Kings needed to step up big. Outside of a historic night from DeMarcus Cousins, and a season high from Travis Outlaw, this did not happen, and the team lost 107-92

Court Jester #5: Kings to Retire Outlaw's Jersey

Travis Outlaw's long overdue jersey retirement is finally happening. The Kings will hold a special ceremony during halftime of the season's last game to honor the Kings' Forward for all of his accomplishments. It promises to be the event of the year.

Court Jester #4: Kings Set to Win Draft Lottery

The votes are in, and the decision is final. The Sacramento Kings will have the first pick in the NBA draft. After years of trying, they have finally been rewarded for their mediocrity.

Court Jester #3: Jimmer Bought Out After Mishap

All Jimmer wanted was lunch, but he got more than he bargained for when he asked the GM out to lunch. A few riots, STOP petitions, and DeMarcus Cousins meltdowns later, it may have changed the course of history.

Court Jester #2: Kings Playing With Understudies

A satirical look at the Kings inconsistent play as of late (with glimpses into Michael Malone's possible obsession with a Hollywood actor.)

Court Jester #1: Maloofs Introduce NBA 3.1

Court Jester posts are satire. Not actual news, so don't take it too seriously!


BREAKING NEWS: Pacer's break world record for longest delayed continuation call in NBA history.

Sleep Train Arena seems to be quite the place for setting records these last few months. Just a couple of months after the fans at the arena broke the noise record, the NBA refs broke a record for...


Kings vs. Pacers Recap: Confusion Erupts as Demarcus Cousins the Only Player to Show Up to Game vs. Pacers

In a shocking display of negligence, the crowd in Indiana looked at the court, puzzled, when they saw only one player in a jersey. It seemed to be a normal game, but when the teams hit the floor,...


Breaking News: Despite Best Efforts Marcus Thornton Unable to Buy a Basket

A disappointed Marcus Thornton left the Natomas Wal Mart very disappointed after he was left unable to buy a basket. via nickonthetown.files.wordpress.com "It was tough. I went there...

Who Is Jimmer Fredette?

Jimmer is one of the most polarizing players we have ever seen on the Kings. It seems that people either love him with an unwavering passion, or can't stand the sight of him. Here we try to break it down and find out what type of player he really is.

Kings Links: Anniversary Edition!

On the one year anniversary of the "first and goal" tweet, we look at Cousins' All Star hopes, the eminent domain vote,Quincy and Isaiah's videobomb, and Doug Christie's ill advised trip to North Korea.

Kings Links: End Of the Year Edition!

The year is almost over and. we have a little bit of it all, from the Kings partnership with a group from India, to a scathing rant by Coach Malone, and an All Star endorsement from Lebron.


Isaiah Misses Team Flight... A Christmas To Remember Happens...

It was a typical road trip for the Sacramento Kings. After defeating the Orlando Magic in the last game of a four game trip, the Sacramento Kings were at Orlando International Airport running to...


We are the SACRAMENTO Kings!

I am sitting here watching Small Market, Big Heart, and it just has me thinking about the last three years. And you know what? Between complaining about our defense, about who should be in the...

Kings Links: Christmas Stocking Stuffer Edition

Isaiah Gets some national love, Vivek talks NBA 3.0, Financial outlook on new downtown, and Chris Webber practicing Karate. What more could you need during the most wonderful time of the year! But don't get too comfy, our favorite Grinches the Maloof


Kings Clinch Finals Berth With Victory Over Mavericks

After a stunning victory over the Dallas Mavericks, the Sacramento Kings have clinched a spot in the NBA Finals. While it seems interesting that a team with a 6-13 record would be a part of such a...


Kings Video Staff Releases Video Showing Highlights of Salmons Career Here

The Kings TV and video staff has released a video that highlights all of the impact that John Salmons had during his second tenure here. "We really wanted to send him out with a boom by letting...


Looney Tunes Inexplicably Recruit Marcus Thornton To Save Looney Tune Land: Tragedy Ensues

It started out as just a basketball game, but it ended up being one of the most brutal acts of genocide in recorded history. 17 years after the Looney Tunes initially faced the "Monstars" in a...


An Open Letter To Chris Hansen.

Dear Chris Hansen, Thank you for what you have done the last year or so for the city of Sacramento. I do not like, nor respect any of your strategies that you took to get us to this point, but it...


League Issues Apology After Officiating in Kings/Clippers Game

The NBA has righted many wrongs and issued a statement condemning the refs for last nights performance in the Kings and Clippers game. The league pulled no punches in calling out the refs for the...


Scandal Erupts as Isaiah Thomas Revealed not to be a Pizza Guy

via thatnbalotterypick.com The Sacramento Kings organization, the sports community as well as the Pizza Guy brotherhood were all left stunned and betrayed as it was revealed that the...


Ben McLemore to participate in NBA's First Annual "Almost Dunk Contest"

In some more exciting news from the land of the Kings, Ben McLemore has been invited by the NBA to participate in the the NBA's new Almost Dunk Contest. via img.bleacherreport.net "We are...


Jimmer Finds Himself in the Coach's Friend Zone... Again...

During a candid interview with StR, Kings guard Jimmer Fredette has revealed that he feels he has entered new coach Mike Malone's dreaded friend zone, a zone he knows all to well after two years...


Young Kings Saddened, but Relieved After Team is Forced to Put veteran John Salmons to Sleep

The Kings team was saddened today when the team announced that it finally decided it was time to put their seasoned veteran, John Salmons, to sleep. The decision to put the two time King down...


The Maloofs story is actually very inspiring (when you reverse it)

Once upon a time there was a family called the Maloofs that had nothing but a dream A dream to expand their small family business called Zing Vodka into a whole entertainment empire. Though they...

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