Getting Back on Track: An Offseason Plan for Adam Dunn

big_fun — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 22:27:40 -0000

December: The White Sox trade hitting coach Greg Walker and RP Dexter Carter to the Padres for roving hitting instructor Rob Deer.

January: Using hypnosis and mental conditioning, Deer breaks Adam Dunn down to an infantile state, then begins to build him up from scratch with total confidence in his core skills.

February: Herm Schneider takes DNA from Richie Sexson, Jose Hernandez, Cecil Fielder, and other hitters and incorporates it, Serpentor-style, into Dunn’s DNA.

March: Dunn sits out all of spring training to give his spleen, gall bladder, duodenum, etc. plentiful rest so as to avoid injury during the season.

April-September: Dunn breaks multiple records while hitting 100 home runs, drawing 100 walks, and striking out 450 times in 650 plate appearances, for a triple slash line of .182/.307/.727. He becomes the first in baseball history to go a full season without putting a ball in play.

Important Johnny Dickshot Update

big_fun — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 15:59:46 -0000

Important Johnny Dickshot Update

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Getting Back on Track: An Offseason Plan for Adam Dunn

Important Johnny Dickshot Update

Important Johnny Dickshot Update