OK, Commodore Fans.....Step right up!  It's America's favorite and most enjoyable past-time!  Put on your thinking caps and try to decide:

IS THIS A REAL OR FABRICATED POST ON THE COMMENT BOARD FOR THE IN-GAME THREAD ON ROLLBAMAROLL.COM FROM LAST NIGHT'S GAME??

With your host.....BloggyWo!

I'll start you off with a hard one:

"Where's a good fu**ing flood when you need one....."

Annddddddd......The answer is (drumroll)..........REAL!!!

MORE....AFTER THE JUMP!!

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Tonight was an entertaining night for Commodore fans, as they managed to move back to .500 in SEC play, as well as meet their new head coach, James Franklin.

Chip Patterson, an NCAA football blogger for cbssportsline.com, had an interesting take on Franklin's future:

JAMES FRANKLIN, Vanderbilt 

Why him? After Bobby Johnson retired less than two months before the start of the season, Vanderbilt scrambled to promote offensive line coach Robbie Caldwell to head coach. After Caldwell's 2-10 record in 2010, he stepped down as well. For 2011, Franklin needs to: Beat Elon and win at least one conference game. After two straight 2-10 seasons Franklin at least needs to equal that win total, even with a difficult non-conference schedule. The bar isn't too high, but the Commodores need to find at least one non-conference and one conference win in 2011. By 2014, Franklin needs to have: Made the postseason. Again, the bar is not too high (Vanderbilt has only 2 bowl appearances since 1980, both losses), but Franklin would likely land himself a long-term contract and cement his own place in Vanderbilt history by adding a postseason win to the school's resume. Chances Franklin gets what he needs?: Have you seen the SEC? Not great.

I'll repeat a line from above:

Again, the bar is not too high (Vanderbilt has only 2 bowl appearances since 1980, both losses)

Now, Chip, I do understand that it is hard to believe, but yes, in fact, Vanderbilt did beat Boston College in the Music City Bowl.  

Maybe someone at cbssportsline.com should edit their bloggers' pages.  Yikes.

On my rainy drive into work this morning, Mark Howard stated on 104.5 the Zone that he had a "first-hand" credible source, confirmed by the two other hosts, that told him that Tommy Tuberville had expressed interest in the head coaching position at Vanderbilt, yet was rebuffed by the powers that be.  Please let that not be true. 

Please.  I mean, it's not like he has any recruiting connections to Middle Tennessee.......

Oh, wait...........

Damn.

Vice Chancellor not throwing us a lot of bones today.

Minutes after hearing that Gus Malzahn denied Vanderbilt's lucrative contract offer, Vice Chancellor David Williams announced to the Commodore Nation that he will welcome Coach Klein, their second choice, with open arms. "We want to thank Coach Klein for putting up with this long drawn out mess," stated Williams.

Coach Klein is fresh off his 1999 Bourbon bowl win with the upstart South Central Louisiana State University Mud Dogs, and is happy to start work with the Commodores.  He plans on hitting the recruiting trail once the deal is finalized.

Blue.  Back in 1999, the word was synonymous with awesome Europop that the 2000s and 2010s haven't quite managed to replicate.  For those of you who do not know of what I speak, please enter my time machine.  As these dulcet tones are moving through your headphones, let's think of what this specific color adds to the ferocity or imitating nature of a collegiate mascot.  In the world of college athletics, we encounter the Blue Demons (1), Blue Devils (8), Blue Hawks (1), Blue Hens (1), Blue Jays (5), Blue Knights (2), Blue Angels (2), Blue Raiders (1), Blue Streaks (1), Blue Tigers (1), and Blue Wave (1).  

Hell, you could just go to Wellesley College and be The Blue.  No afterthought there.  You are a color, and that's it.  All of the above nicknames or mascots make some sense to a sports fan.  Sure, a color and an animal.  That should work.  

Yet we are left with two colleges that contain Blue as part of their nickname and leave you scratching your head wondering, "Really?  That's what they came up with?"  First, we have the Illinois College Blueboys  who were given that unfortunate name in reference to members of Illinois College who valiantly rose up to fight in the Civil War. 

And then, ladies and gentlemen, we come to the creme de la creme.  The zenith of weird and ridiculous college mascots.  I introduce to you, the Presbyterian College Blue Hose.   I first thought our Commodores were going to be matched up against something akin to this, yet it turns out the name refers to the school's Scottish heritage.  In fact, the school has, on campus, the largest bronze statue of a Scotsman in the entire world.  His name is Cyrus.  Let's hope he doesn't shoot the three well.  

So, unless William Wallace comes out dunking on Festus and Steve, I think the Commies don't have too much to worry about with the Blue Hose.  I know there are some good costume ideas to dress up in Friday night, just can't think of any now.  

I was just curious.

If you have seen this child, please contact Billy Donovan at 1-800-MYT-EAM-SUCKS

via www.gatorzone.com

Gator fans and supporters are reeling today, as one of their precious NIT-bound hoopsters has reportedly gone missing from school.  The 6'9" 215 pounder from Casselberry, FL has many of the GatorNation worried. Eyewitnesses at the "O Dome" in Gainesville reported seeing Parsons throw down a monster dunk in the first half of their heart-breaking and gut-wrenching 64-60 loss to the Vanderbilt Commodores Tuesday night, but did not remember him ever being on the court after that. 

Detectives looked for evidence in the box score, but had trouble coming up with leads.  "3 points, 2 rebounds, 1 steal. I do remember the dunk in the first few minutes, but he got to the line?  Really?  I thought he was one of their better players. I don't know.  I'm clueless.  Florida will really need him if they want to get out of the first round of the NIT.  I need a drink.", bluntly stated Detective Brad Nessler.  Fans thought they saw Parsons sink a game winning three, but realized later that it was simply hysteria brought on by two hail-mary victories from Parsons against South Carolina and N.C. State. 

If you have any clues, leads, or ideas of the whereabouts of this clean-shorn NIT-caliber athlete, please contact the University.  They are always looking for banners to hang, and the overwhelming hope in Gainesville is that Parsons can hit another last second 3 for an NIT championship.

http://www.vanderbiltsportsline.com/2010/02/students-are-out-in-force.html

So I have been perusing Craigslist this morning to see what bait has been thrown out for rabid Kentucky fans by Vandy faithful with asking prices for tickets to tomorrow's game.  I came across this posting for Section 2F.  Fairly reasonable, I would guess.  As I trolled on over to our good friend Ebay, I came across this bad boy.  1,000 dollars for 15th row seats!  What has this become? 

A part of me really likes the fact that a Vanderbilt basketball game could warrant someone asking for 500 dollars per ticket.  A part of me really wonders if I would rather have 1000 dollars or a Vandy win tomorrow.  I started to think about what a Kentucky fan could get on Ebay for 1,000 dollars that could make them a lot happier than seeing their Cats lose to Vandy tomorrow.

1. Signed 2010 Kentucky Team Basketball - Pretty awesome, especially if you think they are going all the way this year.  Much better investment over the long haul than tickets Saturday. Can you tell me this would be less enjoyable than seeing John Calipari sitting at the end of the bench with his head in his hands after realizing who the true class of the SEC is?

2.  Not one, not two, but yes THREE Kentucky Wildcats Full Size Licensed Wood Headboard - The parents of abandoned UK children could regain the love of their offspring by springing for three of these glorious headboards.  Can you tell me this would be less enjoyable than seeing Ligons realize he can't shoot and go 0-7 from behind the arc?

3.  Nothing says class like a UK office chair. I mean, how could a boss not spring for three of these for his employees? Productivity would skyrocket by a factor of ten with the wildcat emblem spurring workers on from behind.  Can you tell me this would be less enjoyable than seeing John Wall break down in tears when he realizes he picked the wrong school?

4.  Three Chrome Bar Pub Tables - Any bar owner's customers would love him or her forever for supplying their Lexington bar with these beautiful CHROME bar tables.  Can you tell me this would be less enjoyable than seeing Lance Goulbourne make Patrick Patterson cry?

5.  Three UK ceiling fans! - Now, I know most UK supporters don't have air conditioning, so fans are a must in every Kentucky house.  Once these bad boys are turned on, the blades deliver that cool Kentucky air, and at the same time bring fans back to the glory days of Mark Pope and Scott Padgett.  Can you tell me this would be less enjoyable than seeing John Jenkins make the Memorial Crowd explode?

Come on, UK fans, make the smart choice.  Don't bother coming to Nashville.

Having seats behind the visitor's bench affords the viewer certain luxuries that other seats in Memorial do not.  First, you are within shouting range of opposing players and coaches which, surprisingly, works more often than not. Second, it is extraordinarily exciting to get into staring contests and shouting matches with team managers who think that just because Jodie Meeks hits four threes that for some reason he is a badass.  Finally, you are able to be ridiculously close, and therefore are luckily able to experience the fast-paced action of SEC basketball.

I am going to preface the next portion of this post by stating that I am by no means a man of clean mouth, and have actually been ejected from three sporting events (2 college basketball games, one college volleyball game...yup, that's right).  But the Mississippi State game this past Wednesday provided a glimpse into only what I can describe as the eighth wonder of the world, Mrs. Rick Stansbury. My goal is not to make any personal barbs or jabs at this woman, but only to relate my experience as a fan with her three seats down from me.

Mrs. Stansbury was not vocal until tipoff, but from that point on, everyone in the gym was witness to her ridiculousity (I feel that her actions deserve a word that doesn't exist). Let me count the ways:

1.  While Vanderbilt players were shooting free throws, Mrs. Stansbury groaned and moaned just like a woman who was experiencing a......well, you get the picture.  She would also whoop like a little dog incessantly until both free throws were sunk. 

2.  She would yell at the players on the bench to start chanting defense (which they actually did like a girls' softball team for a period of five minutes) until they were too embarrassed to continue. Each player gave an expression like, "Oh god, she's telling us to chant. I guess we have to because it's coach's wife."  It was thoroughly embarrassing for MS State fans.

3.  Every time a call that was blatantly obvious was made, she would start hollering and screaming, all the while stomping her foot on the floor, and absorbing glares from MS State players.

4.  Here are things that are less annoying / frustrating than her voice:

                  a.  Dropping your deodorant into the toilet

                  b.  Getting your wallet stolen

                  c.  Bad B.O. next to you on a 3 hour flight

                  d.  Pickles on your cheeseburger when you specifically asked for no pickles

                  e.  Pink Eye

                  f.   Pets "unloading" in your house

                 g.  7-10 Splits

I think it is great that she takes their sons to away games, and it is great that they are such a close family.  I do have to commend her on the fact that she threw me off of my cheering game, but I am happy that I will have to wait a long time before that happens again. There were other MS State fans that were around her, and they consistently hung and shook their heads and treated her like she was the alcoholic uncle on Intervention who was coming over for Thanksgiving dinner.  They love her within their heart, but they can't bring themselves to show it.  In fact, they are ultimately embarrassed.

But at least she has heart and supports her husband and children.  Maybe she could tone it down just a tad?  Please?  For the sake of all that's good and pure, someone make it stop.

I love YouTube. Who doesn't? It is quite possibly the world's greatest time-waster and memory-inducer. It got me to thinking: "Does Vanderbilt Athletics even have ten YouTube worthy clips?" The answer is an overwhelming yes, and below are my favorite top 10. Please feel free to add in the comments below.

10. Chris Johnson - no, not that Chris Johnson - lays the wood on Dexter MccLuster. I love this clip because it has no announcers, and all you can hear are pads crushing and the fans gasping. Pretty awesome.

9. Commodore Creed with some awesome dramatic music in the background - key members of the 2008 Vanderbilt Football Squad gettin' serious about the 2008 season.

8. The Introduction to Vanderbilt Basketball at Memorial - Doesn't it give you chills?

7. Pedro Alvarez isn't quite "overrated". Listen to the fan in the background. Apparently he crushes this ball about 900 feet.

6. Jeffrey Taylor can jump higher than I can, I think.

5. Mario Moore running half-courter to topple Oregon. This was one of the loudest 2 minutes that my ears have ever endured. Memorial went gonzo.

4. Nice defense, Wichita State. Shocker!

3. Ask any Vandy football fan of my generation what play is the most memorable in their mind, and it always comes to this.

2. Senior night. 42.

1. Trip to the Sweet Sixteen. Gus Johnson. Heaven.

WARNING:  If you have any interest in seeing this 3 hr masturbatory piece of shit, don't read ahead.  If you don't however, please try to follow. 

1) Price: I paid 13.50 freaking dollars for this piece of garbage.  For 13.50 at a 'Dores game, I can get a seat and a pretzel.  Or if I'm thirsty, a water-downed disappointment known as a Large Diet Ice (Diet Coke).  ADVANTAGE: 'DORES

2) Main Character:  The main character in Avatar, Jake Sully, is this whiny bitch who for some reason beyond me is crippled.  Thank you, James Cameron, for making a 3hr metaphor about how great it is for this guy to get up and run around in a 15 foot blue alien costume.  Lost managed to have a cripple, but didn't keep rubbing it in your damn face.  Apparently he is the greatest genius in the entire world, for he is able to master an alien tongue (which coincidentally sounds a lot like anything you'll hear on the planet Earth) within a couple weeks, as well as learn how to jump from tree to tree like he was Mowgli from effing Jungle Book.  I would have to say Vandy's main character this year has been Kevin Stallings.  The man has had to manage a rotation with a star freshman, something that is never easy for any coach.  The players looked like they were having fun last night.  Players who were starters last year were actually getting up and clapping for their teammates.  If they keep playing like they're having fun, it should be a good run.  ADVANTAGE: 'DORES

3) PLOT:  Follow me here:  Three people are brought in to remotely control their "Avatars" to find out as much as possible about this supposed "meanest and most deadly race in the universe".  They finally get into their 15 foot blue, alien bodies (there was never any need for this by the way) and start to walk around and enter the blue alien civilization.  Now, the whole plot is centered around the blue aliens not figuring out that these avatars are any different from them and simply want to learn from them.  Yet, they are walking around in jeans, shirts, and have A FREAKING ARMY BASE right outside the forest.  These "natives" are people who fly around on some pteradactyl like creature, and you're telling me that they DON'T SEE THE GIANT WALKING ROBOTS stolen from the Matrix? Gimme a damn break.  Anyhow, seemingly eight hours later, the humans blow up the alien tree to get at some mineral under the tree, and because the main character has fallen in love with this blue alien chick (Neytiri), he has to fight back. Blah, blah, blah, the aliens eventually win.  Yay, everyone's happy.  I could have told this story in 1 hour.

Vandy has a much easier to follow plotline.  Follow up last year's disappointing season with an NCAA tournament bid and hopefully at least one win in the tourney. Now, losses to jokers WKU  do happen, but we can't have mental letdowns like that anymore.  The table is set for a respectable SEC record and unquestioned tournament bid.  We don't have to worry about any jellyfish-shaped seedlings from a tree to breathe life back into our players.  (This actually happened in the movie)

HUGE ADVANTAGE: 'DORES

4) Most recent enemy: This, believe it or not, was the most unbelievable thing about this piece of shit.  The 2150 American Army, with uneblievable advances in technology (walking robots, highly maneuverable hover planes) are STILL USING RIFLES AND FLAMETHROWERS!! Wouldn't they have lasers at this point?  Anyway, as they go to attack the 15 foot smurfs in the final battle, they get beaten and overtaken by PTERADACTYLS and blue aliens.  I mean, they have no weapons besides bows and arrows.  Their only attack method is to run the pteradactyls into the huge, armored planes of the Americans.  Are you fucking kidding me?  really?  I mean, this was the biggest upset since Douglas dropped Tyson.  Seriously, there is no way that the Americans could have or should have possibly lost this battle.  It was completely implausible and made me want to puke my brains out.

The Mercer Bears, pretty menacing, huh?, were equally incompetent.  They tried to play a lot of zone, and the players looked lost.  Their only saving grace was having ths guy on their team.  I mean, if there is any bigger sparkplug than Ridas Pulkauninkas, I'd like to see it.  I mean, he would run everywhere, hit some threes, smiled some, and I don't think understood a word of what his coach was trying to say.  The rest of the team, however, did not show up to play. But at least one did.

SLIGHT ADVANTAGE:  COMMODORES

Supporting Cast:  Sigourney Weaver is the most unlikeable person to have in this role.  First of all, she's not hot.  The last time she was hot was when she was in the arms of Peter Venkman in the GhostBusters.  No one cares that her character died.  At all.  I was actually happy, because it meant the movie was getting closer to the end.  No other character in the movie made you want to care at all about the plot, each was poorly developed, and each made you want to claw your eyes out and eat them. 

The Vanderbilt Commodores actually stepped up as a whole team for one of the rare times thus far this year.  Each player that played contributed, but for the life of me I can't understand why Lance "Give me the ball and I'll drive until I get a charge or turn it over" Goulbourne is getting more playing time than Hinkle, that is beyond me.  I'm a big fan of Hinkle's Tinkles.  Also, I was very glad that Paisley started knocking down some open shots, and if last night was any indication, John Jenkins is starting to become the shooter we thought he could be.  A.J. Zombilvy still looks lost.  Every shot he is taking is either a fade away hook or a slippery driving layup against a 6'5" center. This is a bit of a concern.  I understand that I am not in the locker room, and that I don't know his full health status, but he looks extraordinarily bored sitting on the bench.  But at least he has a fun beard and is Australian.  That always helps.

ADVANTAGE:  COMMODORES

Overall Experience:  The 3D was cool for about an hour. There are only so many 3d plants and trees one can look at before getting extraordinarily bored and frustrated. By the end of the movie, I wanted to walk out just to protest the pile of turds I had paid to see. The message was a not-so-veiled reference to the plight of Native Americans, which is fine, but don't try to hide it!  Make a movie about Native Americans!  Not 15 foot blue Aliens and jellyfish seeds!  The movie was preachy, idiotic, senseless, and not worth the millions it is raking in.  Give me a fucking break, James Cameron, why don't you take my car, too?

The Mercer game was equally boring, but only because there were roughly 50 fouls called in the second half.  And, to the fat lady sitting behind me, you have the most annoying voice of any fat person I have ever met.  If you yell at opposing players one more time, I am personally going to have to buy you some chicken fingers so that I don't have to hear you.

Whenever I hear the words "Vanderbilt Basketball" and "guard" mentioned in the same sentence, I usually get a feeling of calm, of comfort, and most of all, warm fuzziness. Obviously partly because of this and definitely this, most definitely the first minute of this, and finally of something like The Artist formerly known as Jermaine Beal. 

This season, however, Vandy guard play has given me a deathly cold feeling of dread and trepidation, as if I expect a turnover or a brick to happen every possession.  Now, I know it's early in the season, but these are things that need to get worked out sooner or later or it's gonna be a long SEC road. 

Let's take a look at some numbers.  Brad Tinsley is averaging close to 29 minutes a game.  He is only contributing 6.5 points a game, with 3 assists and 2 boards.  Most distressingly, Tinsley is missing open three after open three, going 33 % from beyond the arc.  I love his quick play, quick drives, and willingness to take an open shot, but if Vandy can't get the inside / outside game working with Brad, defenses will gobble up A.J.

Now, this is not all on Tinsley.  Golden boy John Jenkins, (How many times have we heard on broadcasts that he was the leading scorer in the country last year) is hitting only 37 percent of his threes (15-41), and has missed open threes consistently in big situations.  The one saving grace for John is how big he came up at the line in the Missouri game.

Jermaine is probably the most distressing, seeing his attitude during the WKU game (I'm not sure if Kevin's message was a good one to send), and more importantly his performance.  Jermaine is only 17-53 from beyond the arc for a 32 % clip.  I think all this great player needs is some confidence, and that is not provided by a benching in Nashville vs. WKU. 

Hopefully Saturday will be a start to a recovery for our three point ills.  As we hear all the time, shooters need to keep shooting.  I agree, but eventually some need to go down or we keep losing games that we should win vs teams like Illinois and Western Kentucky.  Gross.

How refreshing was it to see A.J. Ogilvy get to the line and knock down 11 of 12 free throws last night?  It seems that these double and triple teams will be coming all season from teams with undersized centers.  If he can knock down his charity shots, the Dores will be fine.

Also refreshing was to see John Jenkins step up with the coolness of a senior and knock down four clutch free throws to ice the game in the last minute. 

Can we get a pool going for the game when he misses his first free throw?  I'd hate to see it, because looking at 100 percent is very pretty.

Also, let's hope there is no investigation into point shaving here. Jermaine Beal misses a free throw that would have caused a push in the betting line. (Vandy was favored by seven).  It almost seemed as if Vandy wanted to keep that margin under 7 towards the end of the game there.