So, I imagine some of you have seen wordclouds. For the 0.1% of you haven't, they are visual depictions of word frequencies in a speech, block of text, etc. They're all the rage for corporate communications - "look at us, we're hip! we can move beyond powerpoint templates and start really communicating." (sorry, if you sense bitterness - we may have seen a few yesterday).

Anyway, it got me thinking about what a CGB word cloud would look like. First of all, I imagined the DBD would have 1000000% more inanity than a front page post. For that reason, obviously, I chose to focus on the DBD.

After I made the first rev, I realized that, in addition to filtering out common English words, there are other words repeated on CGB that skew the results: May, 16, PDT, reply, actions, etc (basically, what's on the bottom of each post).

Long story short, after flexing my ctrl+h muscles, here's the CGB word cloud. Pretty cool, no?

via i.imgur.com

link to alternative host (for fed, etc)

CGB: what are your key takeways?

/end corporate

Totally stealing from Rishi's DBD, but with a twist (no, not the honking, scarved double-breasted specimen we know as Twist).

What are the small joys in your work life that keep you going during the day? Is it the one day a month that Don the douche remembers that "when you kill the joe, you make some mo'". Is it the once in a blue moon when Boss-lady Betty deigns to recognize your slavish devotion to Minesweeper the DBD your "work"? The occasional glance from Seductive, slutty Susie that makes you think "man, if I were 6'0, had dark hair, drove an Audi, made ~50k euros, thinks would be different!"

For me, there's a couple that come to mind:

• The reimbursement check that you totally forgot about: Notice it on random Fridays and it's like double payday!
• Leftovers from bigwigs' meetings: No, these are no pre-made, coldcut sandwiches on soggy bread. These are the leftover lukewarm lasagne of kings!
• Beer Olympics in the office day: because that's a thing for everyone... right?

Hi there. My name's boomtho.

[inaudible]

What's that? See Gee Bee? Nice to meet you. That's a really unique name. Almost like some deranged honking lawyer took a lot of chicken salad and chocolate brownies and then came up with a name!

...

So, where are you from? Siblings?

What are you studying at Cal? Oh, media studies. That's soooo cool. Sounds really complicated!

What's that, you're in [insert student club here.] That's so cool!

...

Continue reading this post »

I'm avoiding 2 things by making this DBD:

1. Trying to save Rishi from having to write it; dude has been straight beastin' lately.
2. Trying to avoid a "4.20 lol ston3r" DBD

So, CGB, what are your weekend plans? I know Kod's got a prime seating at urgent care (he slipped the admitting nurse a 20); atoms is MC'ing the Geeky Grammar Games; Rishi is "writing essays" (whatever that means).

SF peeps, it's going to be ~85 degrees this weekend, so do something cool! Go to Dolores Park, and try to see how long you can go without inhaling some weed. Go to Twin Peaks and admire the beautiful city we live in. Walk along Ocean Beach or go to Crissy Field and stroll under the GG Bridge.

Well, I'm almost to 150, so it's time to sign off. See y'all tomorrow morning!

[these words may be pure filler to hit 150, daal with it.]

An unkempt, smelly, grad student is standing on the curb (hi TBB!). Suddenly a ballista silver Audi rolls up and the window rolls down.

"You TheBuckeyeBear?" a mysterious voice calls out.

"Yes".

"Proof?"

TBB puts her fingers up to the window, and the driver runs those through the CGB picture database.

Suddenly, the door opens...

Continue reading this post »

Captain obvious here, but Black Friday is coming up. Which means that lots of Americans will flock to malls to buy a lot of shit that they don't need. It truly is an American holiday.

In this spirit, what's on your wish list for Friday and the holiday season? Those Cal tire caps are looking pretty sweet...

My list after the jump (shameless plug for more words!)

Continue reading this post »

Holyshitit's7:50andthere'snoDBD.

/breathes

OK, since this is all I can think to write up, here's what I did in Europe with my parents and little (wow he's 17) brother.

From Munich:

• Hella castles: Hellbruun, Nyphemburg, Linderhof, Residenz, Noschweinstein (the disney castle!)
• Salzburg (sweet fortress bro)
• City tour (like fat tourists, sit on a bus all day)
• English Garden (hella nice beer garden!)
• Church of our Lady (beautiful!)

From Prague:

• City Tour
• Prague Castle
• St. Charle's Bridge
• Bunch of old cathedrals
• Czech beer 

From Venice:

• Lots of boat rides, obviously
• Pizza and wine
• Doge's Palace
• St. Mark's Plaza + Basilica
• Murano glass blowing factories

So...there's your DBD, I guess.

This is the sequel to Twist's one word DBD that was posted on the 27th and titled for the 28th. This one has all the things you expect out of a high-budget sequel.

For example, the last DBD didn't have any explosions. What kind of modern DBD is that? Inspired by MIchael Bay, here are some explosions to spice up the sequel.

via t3.gstatic.com
Boom goes the dynamite!

via t3.gstatic.com
I think this is from Die Hard?

The sequel will also try to be funnier than the original, though the humor will likely fall flat and just annoy all those involved. To illustrate this, here is Carrot Top.

via 4.bp.blogspot.com
I had to work to find a picture of him that didn't give me nightmares.

What other features should our sequel have?

[Apologies if this DBD makes no sense and/or is inane. I'm tired and hungry, and my brain isn't working quite correctly]

As promised, here's a DBD to help Twist out. However, I'm feeling particularly uncreative, so here are some questions pulled from the internet about our esteemed alma mater (oh shit I can say that now!). Answers will follow after the jump

1. The Campanile is the ____________ tallest clock-and-bell tower in the world.
   a) second
   b) third
   c) fourth
   d) fifth
2. The cannon that is fired whenever Cal scores weighs _________ pounds.
   a) 0-300 
   b) 301-600
   c) 601-900
   d) 901-1200
   e) 1201+
3. According to legend, Oski
   

   a. rode a Harley Davidson with Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger

   b. was played by famous alum Steve Wozniak, cofounder of Apple

   c. refused to remove his bear mask even when being taken away in an ambulance

   d. had a crush on Josephine Bruin

4. Which of the following (may be more than one) can Oski no longer do?
   

   a. flirt with girls

   b. brawl with the Stanford Tree

   c. throw pies at opposing chancellors

   d. shimmy up goalposts

5. Who was the first Cal professor to win the Nobel Prize?
6. University faculty, alumni, and researchers have won __________ Nobel Prizes.
   a) 0-30
   b) 31-60
   c) 61-90
   d) 91+
7. Who was UC Berkeley named after?
8. Who was the first chancellor of UC Berkeley (after the University of California and Cal became distinct entities)?
9. Who was Cal's first president?
10. How many "colleges and schools" does Cal have?
    a) 0-5
    b) 6-10
    c) 11-15
    d) 16-20
    e) 21+

That's all from me, Go Bears!

Continue reading this post »

Summer is the time for brainless, blockbuster, CGI-on-steroids movies. Here is a list of some of said movies.

Already released:

• Fast Five
• Thor
• X-Men
• Super 8
• Green Lantern
• Pirates of the Caribbean (3? 4? what's it on now)

• Captain America
• Harry Potter
• Larry Crowne (Tom Hanks)
• Zookeeper (I love Kevin James, but damn he makes awful movies)
• Bad Teacher (Jason Segel is AWESOME!)
• Rise of Planet of the Apes (James Franco)
• FINAL DESTINATION 5 (these are my guilty pleasure movies)
• Conan the Barbarian
• Spy Kids (the oh shit, I'm a father option)
• Smurfs 3D (see above)

Hi CGB, let's discuss Father's Day. Some questions for your perusal:

(1) What are you getting, if anything, for your father, grandfather, father figure, etc?

(2) If you are a dad, what do you expect to get from your progeny? 

(3) If you are a dad, what would you like to receive for Father's Day?

Have at 'em, CGB!

Continue reading this post »

My sources ("little birds" as Varys would say) have gathered advanced intelligence of CGB Happy Hour may unfold. The scene follows!

[Scene: A pretty empty bar. A few random individuals are standing around, by themselves and looking unsure]

Two ladies walk in.

since1997: omg, this bar is like, so hawt! How are you honey?

Scootie: I’m good, though my “open office” neighbor keeps trying to see what I’m up to. How am I supposed to browse CGB all day?

since1997: so what does this “Fire Starkey” look like anyway?

Scootie: I’m not entirely sure…he never put a picture on the FaceyPages. Just look for the 6’4 Texan. We’ll know for sure if he starts punching people and talking about “Thunder and Lightning”

The talk devolves to BAM and girl talk. Meanwhile, across the bar:

atomsareenough: Hey turkey, how are you doing?  

turkey: Pretty good, man. Glad the week is over.

atomsareenough: I think you mean “pretty well.” Well is an adverb.

turkey: YOU’RE AN ADVERB!

turkey walks away to say hi to since1997 and Scootie. atoms moves on to talk to Cugel and Yes We Cannon

Cugel: So, YWC, are you interested in a lovely pre-war loft I have for rent?

Yes We Cannon: Actually, yes! I need a bigger place. I am running out of space, because of all my black and white photos

Cugel: Awesome! Oh, the only thing is, “somebody” (with air quotes) left a bunch of obscure 70’s and 80’s records, and a phonograph. I think we should just leave it there, because maybe “somebody’s” wife said it had to stay out of the house.

Yes We Cannon: Uhh, OK. Can we talk about this later? I’m here to drink!

Cugel: How about you atoms? I’ll throw in some Lakers gear for free!

atomsareenough: Awesome!

Cugel and atomsareenough high-5. Suddenly, BearStage appears.

BearStage: Did I hear Lakers? All right!!

atomsareenough: Yeah, Cugel and I were just talking about how awesome LA is.

BearStage: Awesome, I know I'm in the right place! Hey, you're a fan of history right? We should totally exchange books!

Suddenly, atoms gets hit in the head by an object. He picks it up. It's the "z" key off of a keyboard. At that very moment, and completely coincidentally, an Indian in a seersucker suit walks in, talking on a cellphone.

Rishi: DERIVATIVES! MALINGA! LOAFERS! Oh look, girls. Hi ladies! My name is Lasith Malinga and I’m a famous cricketeer. They even wrote a song about me! It’s called “All I do is win.” So, who’s buying me a drink?

Rishi stares dumbfoundedly as the girls walk away. At this moment, a 6’4 Texan walks in.

Fire Starkey: GO BEARS! EFF JOE STARKEY!

since1997: I think we found Fire Starkey! For some reason, I feel so complete!

Rishi: Oh, there’s Fire Starkey. OVER HERE! It’s Love Assassin time. Lemon drops for everybody!

Fire Starkey: Thunder and Lightning DO NOT DRINK lemon drops. I’ll take a triple scotch, neat [ed note: is this a thing that exists?]

since1997: Yeah, Rishi, that’s a pretty weak drink. I’ll take a long island! That was my FAVORITE drink that one time I partied with Castro in Cuba! You guys TOTALLY have to go!

atomsareenough: Hey guys, we should totally do karaoke after this!

No one responds for a full minute.

Finally, Rishi and Fire Starkey notice the bar has filled up, and there are some potential targets now

Rishi: All right, Fire Starkey, it’s go time! Follow my lead.

Fire Starkey: Lead the way, I am so ready to wingman!

Rishi: HI LADIES! My name is Bobby Jindal, the governor. Wait, no. My name is M. Night Shyamalan! Wait, no. My name is Aziz Ansari! RAAANNNDDYYYY!

Fire Starkey: Yeah, he’s like, on TV and stuff. You should totally sleep with him.

Camera pans back to show everyone having a great time and getting wasted. Oddly enough, Journey starts playing in the background. Randomly, the scene fades to black.

Inspired by the Memorial Day 3-day weekend, I was thinking about my favorite vacations (or more generally, where I've been). I'm not some huge jetsetter, but I've been to the following places:

• India (mostly Madras, Bangalore, Hyderabad, but a few more places than that)
• Canada (Calgary ~8x, Edmonton/Vancouver/Banff/Jasper once)
•  Alaska and the Bahamas (on cruises)
• Disney World and Land + Palm Springs
• London
•  a HS Eurotrip (London, Paris, Barcelona, Amsterdam)
• NY (both with family and friends)
• VEGAS!!
• And some other places, can't remember now

If I had to pick a favorite, I'd have to say Vegas, followed by the Alaska cruise with my family.

CGB: What's your favorite vacation, or the best place you've visited?

My last final was yesterday at 7pm. I'm not usually nostalgic, but it makes it real that it's all coming to an end. So, a list of things I'm thankful for, after the jump.

Continue reading this post »

So I was watching the HIMYM episode where they make a drinking game out of Robin's morning show. It got me thinking of what a CGB drinking game would look like, since CGB is definitely filled with characters! Here are some of my thoughts, you can drink every time:

-TwistNHook makes a typo OR

-Kodiak moderates a slapfight OR

-solarise makes a ballista statement OR

-atoms corrects someone's grammar OR

-Rishi starts an LA slapfight OR

-Scootie or sincey make a BAM statement

I would definitely recommend only doing one of these, since you would be dead by 9:30 am otherwise. What other potential drinking games can we play?

I couldn't think of a topic, so discuss The Oscars! Be sure to explain in your rant why Movie X was totally screwed while Actress Y couldn't act her way out of a paper bag. And don't get me started on Director Z! List of important awards, as judged by boomtho, below the jump.

Continue reading this post »

Ahh CGB, I am graduating in a few months and there's so much I have yet to do! Help me come up with a list of stuff to do in my last semester. Fenton's challenge? Thai Temple? Indian Rock? Run the fire trails? I'm confident that the brilliant geniuses at CGB can help me plan a kickass last semester! And I guess Twist can contribute some ideas too. Though I absolutely refuse to honk anybody. That part is non-negotiable.

This is a public service DBD.

There's show called Friday Night Lights. It's based on a movie based on a book that talked about high school football in Texas. But really, it's not about football. It's about small town life (you know, the "real America" we hear so much about on Fox News? it's that). It's about family, about jobs, about friends and relationships and personal growth. It's probably the best show that you haven't heard of (or, even if you have, the best show you're not watching).

It's ending this season, after 5 seasons of rock-solid writing and acting. If you have some down time, get the series from Netflix (I think it may be on Watch Instantly). Personally, I would HIGHLY recommend you skip season 2, which was during the writer's strike and not very good. But, seasons 1, 3, 4, 5 (which will air in the spring on NBC) are definitely deserving of your attention. The show has won a bunch of awards and has been nearly universally acclaimed.

Watch this show.

Woohoo it's winter break!! (2nd exclamation point solely for katster). Wait, what's that you say? The real world doesn't have a four-week winter break?! Is it too late to remove myself from the Spring '11 Degree List and defer my start date? It is? Eff.

Well, I guess I might as well take advantage of my last winter break. I'm going to Vegas today and LA (which, you may have heard, sucks) after New Year's.

CGB: What are the coolest things you've done over break? And do you have any exciting plans for the holidays?

It sucks that we're not going bowling. However, one silver lining is all the free time us Cal fans now have! We don't have to spend hours frantically checking calbears.com for injury updates (yeah right, I forgot Tedford's new policy...) or dreaming of new ways to lose -- especially since we seem to have exhausted them all! This got me thinking what people will do with their free time...my thoughts below.

Twist: attend night classes at the local Inanity College

Rishi: sample lemon drops in every bar in SF

atoms: branch out to other SBN blogs and correct more grammar

royrules: hate more things! well, I'm stumped.

Kodiak: CGB fitness challenge...or huff more nitrous

Scootie: share more awesome recipes with us!

since: party in even more exotic locales, like the one pictured below.

via t2.gstatic.com

CB81: finally her "Get off my lawn!" and "SHAKESPEARE wrote Shakespeare" banners printed

Spazzy: write more Your California DBD's (seriously, do it)

CGB: What will you (or others) do with the free time?

In anticipation of the Harry Potter 7(a) premiere (which I am not at all ashamed to say I'll be at tonight), let's take a look around the Pac-10 and do some comparisons.

Cal: Harry Potter

Some people think we're nerdy...but fuck 'em. We're embroiled in the fight against evil (more below), and we always end up kicking ass. Kind of like a golden bear.

JUMP! (and no Twist, the story ad does NOT begin here)

Continue reading this post »

Halloween is kinda awesome. I don't really have much more to say, so:

What'd you do for Halloween? Bonus points for extra cute costumes (for those with kids), hilarious and/or slutty costumes (for everyone else), and scandalous stories.

Continue reading this post »

So I watched the pilot of No Ordinary Family, which was really quite... ordinary. But, anyway, it's about people with superpowers. So I was thinking of what superpowers CGB members would have. Here's what I have so far:

CalBear81: never aging

solarise: make women fall in love instantly

since1997: make any man fall in love instantly

Twist gets 2: inanity and ability to grow body hair on command

Spazzy and HolmoPhobe: ability to make anyone, even Ghandi or Mother Teresa, get into a slapfight with them

atoms: super hearing, so that no joke goes without an atoms-gambit and no grammatical mistake goes unpunished

royrules22: can take anything fun and exciting and make it boring and therefore suck

CalumbusBear: turn water into wine scotchy-scotch!

CGB: help me fill in the rest!

I need CGB's help on something. Let's set the stage: it was Friday night. I was really excited to watch the Cal game and see us handle business against Nevada. We walked to Bobby G's, but THEY WEREN'T SHOWING THE GAME; they were showing the So. Miss game on ESPN and some baseball game. Anyway, we walked to Triple Rock, settled in, and ordered a pitcher.

And that's the last thing I remember.

I woke up on Saturday. I have no recollection of the night before. Did the game even happen? Was there a freak earthquake that knocked me unconscious and erased my memory? Can you guys help me out and fill in some details?

IM sports are awesome. They're a semi-decent substitute for the fun of HS sports. They're an easy way to make sure you get at least some exercise every week. Plus, if you're good enough, you end up in the winner's gallery [note: I'm in there somewhere]. But, there is a downside: to sign up, you end up camping overnight in front of the RSF on the most uncomfortable concrete steps. And it's not even a fun camp-out; just cold.

CGB: What are some of the things you've camped out for? And were they worth it?

Finally! After years of waiting, it's finally fucking here.

I am talking, of course, about the Danny Trejo, Robert DeNiro, Linsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Jessica Alba, Steven Segal MEGAFILM Machete.

Oh, and we're playing UC Davis. I guess that's cool too.

CGB: What are your gameday traditions?

GO BEARS!

Continue reading this post »

I figure someone will throw up a "Gameday tradition" thread on Friday, so I'll open with a simple question.

CGB: Where you will be this Saturday?

Continue reading this post »

Today is the first day of school! There's really not too much more that needs to be said on the subject.

I'm sure that many of you miss school dearly. I would expect that there are a few of you who don't miss school too much and are happy to be in the real world. So, CGB, I have a 2 part question for you:

(a) What do you miss most about school?

(b) What do you miss least about school, i.e., explain why your life is still kinda-sorta awesome.

GO BEARS!

So, clearly, food DBD's are the 3rd most popular DBD topics (behind INDIAAAAAN FIIIIGHHTTTT and Azerbijan fights). My question to you is: if you had one last meal, without any financial restrictions or time-restrictions (for example, you can take your hot tub time machine back five years if your favorite restaurant closed). However, it must all be from one restaurant; you can't combine dishes from different restaurants. Wine, drinks, and dessert are all fair game and should be factored into a restaurant's overall quality.

CGB: What is your last meal?