TAKE DAT WITCHU!!!

via d.yimg.com Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

Game 5, the one after Game 4. The first quarter is always an active one for the Heat. Playing defense, attacking the basket, flopping for calls and crying to the refs. The Mavericks started it off with a quick pace, outscoring the Heat and taking an early lead. Some good defense by the Mavericks, i.e. Kidd, made the Heat turn the ball over leading to some fast break points for us and a few shot clock violations for them. Unfortunately, Super Famicom hit another half-court shot to end the first and the Heat had a 31-30 lead heading into the second. Brian Cardinal or Bobby C as he's known around here, tried drawing a charge against some player named Wade and did not get the call, but Cardinal did manage to hurt Wade.

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"In chaos theory, the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions; where a small change at one place in a nonlinear system can result in large differences to a later state. For example, the presence or absence of a butterfly flapping its wings could lead to creation or absence of a hurricane."

If you think that was confusing, wait until you're done with this post.

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I forgot to post a friday video last week, soooo I decided I might do it just every two weeks. This week's installment is a doozy.

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There is unrest on the Moneyball
threads. Several thousand lame
users have declared their
intentions to leave the website.

This separatist movement,
under the leadership of the
mysterious (Insert Douche Here), has
made it difficult for the limited
number of Edtiors to maintain 
peace and order on the site.

User Marie, the former
Queen of the threads, is returning
to the Moneyball to vote
on the critical issue of giving
ban powers to Bruce and Buckets
to assist the overwhelmed
Edtiors....

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This is possibly the craziest edition of Friday videos we will EVER have! CAPS LOCK WILL SNEAK UP ON YOU AT any given time. We start it off with what this post is high on.

I am on a drug, it's called Charlie Sheen (via victormoreno7)

Now tell me the truth, how many times did you play that clip? I won't judge you, promise.

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Alright so sue me for missing a Friday! Direct all your cease and desist letters to @LjRotter. Now let's get on to the good stuff yeah? Since I messed up royally last week by running over that hobo, you're getting four freaking videos this week.

Stop complaining, they'll be short and you have nothing better to do.

If you don't know how to dance then this simple video with give you some nifty moves to impress the ladies ;)

Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!: Doo Dah Doo Doo! (via adultswim)

Now apply those dance moves!!

Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! - Chi (via crhuems)

Are tired from all that dancing? Do you feel a little hot? What, you're on fire?!

Brule's Rules Episode 1 (via DarkMagic6)

And if you've made it this far, congratulations. Your patience has been rewarded. If you cheated then treat yourself with this video. This is a bit NSFW because of language.

Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis: Natalie Portman (via FunnyorDie)

Man oh man, this first video is nice. Not only will Lisa not see it yet because she's catching Rapidash in Arkansas but once she does she'll swoon or whatever the hell she does. (So annoying) Anyway, Buckets is also in this video as white guy.

Jason Kidd - pass of the glass (via nextMichealLebron23)

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Welcome to another installment of vidja Friday. Because it's Super Bowl week and because I love you all*, you'll be getting two boxes of moving pictures.

The first is of The Predator inhabiting Clay Matthews' body and delivering punishment. 

Go Pack Go!

Clay Matthews Sacks Highlights (via MegaBradk)

And because I apparently need to tone down my racism, here is a video of someone that knows how to have fun with the "haters." See if you can get this song stuck in your head.

Bust the windows out your car for some chicken (via Jed305)

*First come, first serve on receiving love. Longtime posters might get more love than newbies, Lisa not included in any of this as she is on a case by case basis.

To become a useful part of this community I decided to bring back a feature that has been long forgotten. Every Friday I'll post a video of something.

Most likely I'll try to find something funny to start our weekend off right. It won't ever be NSFW but I can't promise it won't be offensive to some.

I know how the people on this site roll and our sense of humor is not all that different. If it's successful I'll add a little something so we can all participate. With that out of the way, he's the first Friday video.

Catchphrase (via cabbagesareevil)

Today we find out which two teams will meet in Super Bowl Xtra Large Vagina.

The Matchups.

Green Bay Packers vs Chicago Bears @ 2pm Central

                        &

New York Jets vs Pittsburgh Steelers @ 5:30pm Central

I'm picking Green Bay to win the NFC but if Chicago wins it's fine. The aint's were eliminated two weeks ago and that's all that matters. Over on the AFC side of things, I will be cheering for that loud mouthed fatty Rex Ryan and his J-E-T-S, JETS JETS JETS! I hate the steelers with a passion. The last two Super Bowl they "won" were cheap, the teams they faced were the Seahawks and Cardinals, respectively. Talk about giveaway games! Screw the steelers and their rapey quarterback.

Who are you guys rooting for?

As we all know, Lisa "Orenthal" Rotter attended the Mavs/cHeat game. During the 4th there was some confusion as to who had possession of the ball. So the refs go to the replay tv and guess who is sitting close by. Here are unedited, ultra low definition pictures of Lisa "Harvey" Rotter.

Fussing with her hair!

via i21.photobucket.com

What she probably did after a Kidd 3 pointer.

via i21.photobucket.com

Also, the balding guy in the last pic looks like Larry David.

Your Mavs are on a sweet, little roll right now. They won five games in a row prior to tonight's game and came in looking to add to the streak. The end result was a 101-91 victory over the Houston (pronounced House-ton) Rockets.

One of the great things about this game was the low minutes for our main guys. Dirk Nowitzki, Jason Kidd and Caron Butler all registered 20 something minutes. Huzzah for rest and bench play! The Mavericks took a double digit lead around the 8:30 mark of the 3rd quarter and It was the first one all night for either team. Save for some back and forth early in the game, once the Mavs took that lead there was no looking back. As always J.J. Barea is the source of this blog's frustration, except for Lisa since she has his number. (It's Lisa and not Buckets that has it, right? This meme is confusing.)

Savor this mini recap for it may be my last. I'm moving on to bigger and better things inside the game threads. I leave you with this tidbit of info, my Hypno grew a level today so I'm excited about that. I'll need to see which moves can be forgotten when new ones come my way. That's all I gotta say about that.

*Note: This was supposed to go on the front page but SBNation denied my credentials. Do you know who I am?

 Alrighty then, so the season is upon us and our Mavs will once again compete against some other random teams for that gold thingy. If you don't know me then you should, I'm always here during game threads and at night when I cry. Speaking of games, (that's a nice transition) The Mavericks home opener is tomorrow!

And who will be there exactly like he is at every home opener? Well not me. You see the thing is I go to every home opener, every year, but it's going to be different this time. My beloved Texas Rangers are going to the WORLD SERIES, with Game 1 being Oct 27th, the same day the Mavs start the season.

By the way, the home opener I missed was the 2005-2006 one, hmmm.

It's here. After waiting four long years and sitting around watching other, less popular sports (I'm looking at you Moose Climbing), La Copa Mundial has arrived. Let us delve into the tournament of football, the most popular sport on this planet we call, Earth.

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There is some drama on TNT tonight. Denver at Phoenix, this means consequences and reprecussions for your Mavs. Along with that, Utah is at Golden State, this game will not be on TNT.

So in order for The Mavs to get the 2nd seed tonight, we need a Thuggets win against Nashy Nashy or a Utah loss against Uncle Don Nelson. We have clinched at least the 3rd seed already, and if we beat those dudes I hate from san antonio we will play them in the playoffs. I want this, I know we can beat them!

We shall watch the game and discuss! We can also post pictures of hot women :)

 
No, Elmer Fudd did not come up with the title. Good news everyone! Dampy damp and Haywood are expected to be in the lineup tonight. Although our own little "Puerto Rican Rotorooter" is out with a sprained ankle. What a cruel world!

In a quick little blog entry, Todd Davis of the DMN Mavs blog says

The news is not all good on the injury front, however. Backup point guard J.J. Barea will be out with a sprained ankle.

Signor Eddie Sefko has a preview of tonight's Mavs vs Nets game. Some people call them the Nyets since they're not a very good team. Little known fact, in Soviet Union, Nyets play you!

ESPN Dallas asks Shawn Marion what's going on with the team. His response? We're Just Playing Ball.

That's what's up!

Tim Legler of ESPN Dallas says the Mavericks pose a serious threat to the Lakers for the Western Conference championship.

Wowsers! Let's keep our heads cool though, I don't want to jinx anything.

Now, we can't finish off these "wacky winks" without something wacky. This video kicks off a concert series about a "SuperBowl" or something footbally, more info on that here. This is just..I...I just don't know.

Here are your Tuesday links and info on YOUR, DALLAS, MAAAVERIIICKS!

Dallas Mavericks Cruise to 12th Straight Win | Eddie Sefko-DMN

"The night, however, ended on a sour note as J.J. Barea stepped on Darko Milicic's foot with 2:29 left in the fourth quarter. Barea limped to the locker room. X-rays were negative, and Barea said, "I think it'll be OK" as he hobbled around the locker room.

It couldn't put a damper on the winning streak, however. The run is tied for fifth-longest in franchise history, and it'll be another 11 days before they face a team with a winning record. Plus, their next four games are at home."

Darko's suck is so strong, he pulled Barea toward him and caused him to injure his ankle. Hopefully Juan will be alright.

Mavs will play the outdoor game next October and Dirty gets named WPOW. Can I get an Amen?

French may soon call on Beaubois for national team. | Sefko-DMN

An article from yesterday on how the French want to steal Roddy for their own nefarious gain. Viva Le Résistance!

Barkley considers hopping on Mavs bandwagon. | Tim Macmahon-ESPN Dallas

"Noted Mavs critic Charles Barkley is almost ready to jump on the bandwagon. A team that was like a “pretty girl with no brain” has earned Barkley’s respect after a trade that transformed the Mavs’ personality."

We don't have anymore room, fatty.

Depleted Dallas Makes Suns-Like Adjustment For High-Octane Offense | David Lord and Mike Fisher- DB.com

Are we really running and/or gunning?

Mavs Donuts: Microwaved For This 'Golden Age'

They need to really make Mavs donuts. Imagine the possible names, The Dirty Donut, Blueberry Barea, Caron's Strawberry Special.

Do You Know What It Feels Like | Rob Mahoney -TheTwoManGame.com

Peeng, Pahng! I always read that site as the women game :(

Finally, a tale about moi. I hate having long finger nails, so I do a good job of keeping them neat. I also hate when my car, "Roxie", is dirty and unkempt. Most of all though, I am a superstitious guy. How are all these three linked?

I put on my Mavs car window flag the 10th of March when I was going to Jamfest. What happened there? I only met The Blonde Bomber and got his autograph. The flag has been on ever since and we've lost only one game. My nails haven't been cut since then and the car has bird poopy. So the question is...

Discuss the game here.

Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs!

Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs!

Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs!

Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs!

Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs!

Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs! Go Mavs!

Mavericks play tonight against the Cavaliers. The game is in Pittsburgh and is going to be shown on HDNet, you can see which channel that is here.

Today Sefko writes about Nowitzki having tons more energy this preseason and even Dirk has noticed it.

I definitely notice it, he said. It usually takes me awhile to get rolling, but I feel a lot more energetic than I normally do in the preseason. I basically didn't compete at all this summer. No three-on-three or anything. I feel great.

In the same article it mentions that the Mavs have until 5 p.m. Monday to finalize the 15 man roster. They're in a sitchy-ashun since Shawne Williams is owed more than 2.4 million bucks, eek!

There was a live chat yesterday on ESPN with Marc Stein and Rob Mahoney answering Mavs questions.

Even Beaubois managed to get one in.

[Comment From Rodrigue Beaubois]
What is my ceiling?

Today Marc Stein talks about Kevin McHale making an impression with the Mavericks while he was here and how Nowitzki enjoyed it.

More than anything, I think I picked his brain.

Just great, Dirk is a zombie now.

Finally the Mavs have announced two finalists for the PA job at the AAC. I'm a bit biased for Michael Taylor since he has that deep-ish voice and I love how he introduces Dirk.

This was my first time writing this up so I hope you enjoyed it.

A great exaggeration in the title but you never know. I've always said one day it will be Mavs/Cavs.

GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!

GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!GOMAVS! GOMAVS! GOMAVS!

I got a text from cbs11 saying that the Mavs are close to trading Diop to the Bobcats for Matt Carroll and Ryan Hollins. I haven't seen anything else on any other sites, as it's probably just developing. Here are the player profile's from nba.com.

Matt Carroll

http://www.nba.com/playerfile/matt_carroll/index.html

Ryan Hollins

http://www.nba.com/playerfile/ryan_hollins/index.html

Desagana Diop

http://www.nba.com/playerfile/desagana_diop/index.html