Sung to the tune of the Felix Day theme, I bring you the first-ever Trading Deadline song!

Defense, GMZ and young guns
Players that are powerful is what we'll field when we're here next year
Better than a lucky Washburn,
When they're near the losing disappears, dear
And I feel so fine just to know that they are mine

This week is defense, GMZ and young guns
That's how this refrain runs, so come on, join in everybody

Defense, GMZ and young guns
Players that are powerful will make it a good day
When we trade veterans away

Defense, GMZ and young guns
Players that are powerful is what we'll field when we're here next year
Better than a lucky Washburn,
When they're near the losing disappears, dear
And I feel so fine just to know that they are mine

This week is defense, GMZ and young guns
That's how this refrain runs, so come on, join in everybody

Defense, GMZ and young guns
Players that are powerful will make it a good day
'Cause Z is smart
'Cause Z is smart
He don't care 'bout ERA!

SPRINGDALE, Ark. — Kansas City Royals general manager Dayton Moore announced a program Monday that he thinks will help newly acquired shortstop Yuniesky Betancourt turn around his woeful work ethic and on-base percentage.

The Idea, Moore said, is to lighten Betancourt's skin so that he becomes "more of a hustler, a David Eckstein-type guy." Moore said the organization subscribes to the theory that "white guys work harder" and that the depigmentation might even make Betancourt a more patient hitter at the plate.

Moore and the Royals have been roundly criticized by mainstream media and bloggers for trading for Betancourt, who was once touted as a great defensive shortstop with a useful bat but has deteriorated at age 27 into a one with the worst defensive ratings in the Major Leagues and an on-base percentage near .300, for two Class AA pitching prospects.

"We'll see what you nasty blog guys think of me now," Moore said. "This is a very scientific way to fix Yuni's perceived problems."

Betancourt underwent the procedure in Springdale, where he is rehabbing a hamstring injury with the Royals' Class AA affiliate, the Northwest Arkansas Naturals. He is expected to join the Royals after the All-Star Break.

"See?" Moore said, pointing to a couple of bloggers attending the press conference. "We didn't just trade for a Cuban nobody. We traded for a Cuban nobody, and we're going to make him a somebody."

I've been doing this every night but don't really have time to do any bargain-basement analysis of the data, so I'm submitting this without comment.

Thru June 21

Overall: 35-34

Record by starter:
Felix 10-5
Bedard 6-5
Silva 3-3
Washburn 5-8
RRS 1-0
Jakabauskas 3-5
Vargas 5-3
Olson 2-3
Morrow 0-2

Record with lead
After 1: 10-6
After 2: 15-9
After 3: 18-9
After 4: 20-12
After 5: 24-9
After 6: 24-6
After 7: 24-5
After 8: 27-3
After 9: 31-0
After 10: 2-0
After 12: 1-0
After 15: 1-0

Record when tied
After 1: 18-17
After 2: 10-11
After 3: 7-10
After 4: 6-6
After 5: 5-8
After 6: 7-6
After 7: 6-4
After 8: 6-5
After 9: 4-4
After 10: 2-1
After 11: 2-0
After 12: 1-0
After 13: 1-0
After 14: 1-0

Record when trailing
After 1: 7-11
After 2: 10-14
After 3: 10-15
After 4: 9-16
After 5: 6-17
After 6: 4-22
After 7: 5-25
After 8: 2-26
After 9: 0-30
After 10: 0-3
After 11: 0-1

A couple of weeks ago, I gave a rundown of the M's record with a lead/deficit after each inning.

Those were much happier times. 15-10, coming off a 15-inning, heart-stopping victory over the A's — probably the day, unfortunately, that will be considered the high point of the year.

But this seems like as good a time as any to update the numbers, what with a couple of ninth-inning comebacks this weekend and a team that's somewhere in the neighborhood of .500 (though 25-26 would have sounded a lot better).

Thru May 31

Overall: 24-27

Felix 7-4
Bedard 4-5
Silva 3-3
Washburn 3-6
RRS 1-0
Jakabauskas 3-5
Vargas 3-1
Olson 0-3

Lead
After 1: 8-4
After 2: 12-7
After 3: 12-8
After 4: 12-11
After 5: 15-8
After 6: 16-6
After 7: 16-5
After 8: 18-3
After 9: 20-0
After 10: 2-0
After 12: 1-0
After 15: 1-0

Tied
After 1: 11-14
After 2: 6-9
After 3: 4-8
After 4: 5-3
After 5: 4-4
After 6: 5-3
After 7: 4-2
After 8: 4-3
After 9: 4-2
After 10: 2-1
After 11: 2-0
After 12: 1-0
After 13: 1-0
After 14: 1-0

Trailing
After 1: 5-9
After 2: 6-11
After 3: 8-11
After 4: 7-13
After 5: 5-15
After 6: 3-18
After 7: 4-20
After 8: 2-21
After 9: 0-25
After 10: 0-1
After 11: 0-1

Does anybody else think a team should be better than 12-11 when leading after four? Especially one whose strength is run prevention? Not really proud about that 18-3 when leading after eight, either.

One other thing I've been tracking is the M's record with each starter on the hill. Before the season, my dream world was to have Felix and Bedard win ~75 percent of their starts and the other three-fifths of the rotation win ~50 percent. Both are obviously far-fetched, but if we did it, that'd be .600 baseball. And the M's did do it, through the first month or so of the season. That, along with about everything else, came crashing down with the whole lose-9-out-of-10 thing.

Here's where it's at now:

Felix 7-4
Bedard 4-5
Silva 3-3
Washburn 3-6
RRS 1-0
Jakabauskas 3-5
Vargas 3-1
Olson 0-3

That's 11-9 for Felix and Bedard (only 55 percent, mostly not their fault), and 13-18 for everyone else (.419), also not even close to a high benchmark. Obviously bullpen and sample-size issues make this almost irrelevant, but like all the above info, it's compiled just for fun.

So, with too much time on my hands on a Sunday night (I get three-day weekends every so often followed or preceded by just a Sunday off) and still buzzing from the high of this afternoon's game, I put together a little info on the Mariners have fared when ahead, behind or tied after each inning. Essentially useless, especially with a small sample size, but still fun to look at.

Overall: 15-10

When the M's are:

Leading
After 1: 6-1
After 2: 9-2
After 3: 8-2
After 4: 9-4
After 5: 12-4
After 6: 11-1
After 7: 11-2
After 8: 12-1

Tied
After 1: 6-7
After 2: 2-3
After 3: 2-4
After 4: 2-1
After 5: 1-1
After 6: 2-2
After 7: 2-0
After 8: 2-1
After 9: 2-0
After 10: 1-0
After 11: 1-0
After 12: 1-0
After 13: 1-0
After 14: 1-0

Trailing
After 1: 3-2
After 2: 4-5
After 3: 5-4
After 4: 4-5
After 5: 2-5
After 6: 2-7
After 7: 2-8
After 8: 1-8

Besides the obvious (wonder when the trailing-after-8 win was), here are a few highlights:

— Game 7 (Bedard beats Outman 1-0 in Oakland) was the first time a game was still tied after second inning. In the first six, there had been scoring in one of the first two innings.

— The Mariners had the lead after four innings in each of their first three losses. Conversely, they won the first two times they trailed after 4.

— One old adage that rings true: Score first. Seattle is 6-1 when leading after one, 9-2 after two Then again, it's 3-2 when trailing after one.

— In fact, the M's have been doing OK playing from behind early in games, but the winning percentage drops off dramatically if they're trailing after 5 and even more so after 6. Random but fun.

— I'm going to try to update this every few weeks as I have time.

Flight left at 5:15 central time, about an hour long.

This, of course, could set off a domino effect that would leave Mike Anderson with three choices — Georgia for ~$2M a year, Missouri for ~$1.5M, and Memphis for who knows how much (though I'm guessing it'd be more than either of those two).

Not enough words, so blah blah blah blah blah blah blah why isn't this enough words there we go

From this morning's Star notebook:

Missouri officials won’t comment, but sources have told The Star that MU coach Mike Anderson and athletic director Mike Alden are talking about a contract extension. Internet speculation continues that Alabama might offer Anderson up to $2 million to lure him back to his native state. Anderson currently has a base salary of $850,000 a year in the third year of a contract signed in 2006.

It'd be nice to get this thing done quickly so we can focus on this year's team in March and not coaching speculation.

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