SB Nation User Blog: chrislucas

ITT: Make bold predictions

chrislucas — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 12:58:57 -0000

Ryan's predictions for Ronnie Brown's season really got me thinking, what else is this team capable of this season? Last year, in a different forum, I predicted that the Dolphins would make it to the playoffs, and as you might assume, I was laughed at, but boy did we show those chuckle heads. So away weeee goooo; I'll start us off with a few of my own:

Bold prediction 1) The Miami Dolphins will break the record they tied last year, and commit only 12 turnovers.

Bold prediction 2) Joey Porter will finish what he started last season as finish with 23.5 sacks.

Bold prediction 3) Cameron Wake will compile 15 sacks this season.

I'll list more as they crop up in the ol noggin. How about you fellas?

New Mercedes = KITT? (non-football related)

chrislucas — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 18:28:58 -0000

I saw a commercial for the new Mercedes E-Classes, apparently they wake you up if you're getting drowsy at the wheel (similar to Volvo's Attention Assist), and sound an alarm to jolt the driver, then suggest you pause for a cup of coffee. I also saw on the commercial that it will also slow down/brake based on how close you get to the car in front of you, however I couldn't find much information on that, I kept getting deals for brake pads lol

Anywho, I just find it amazing that I can remember when power windows were *NEW AND EXCITING* and now we have technology in a moving vehicle that can tell if you are getting sleepy. Ah, what a world. Thoughts?

John Madden retires

chrislucas — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 19:29:42 -0000

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/30246064/

Collinsworth is replacing him. I, for one, will miss the inadvertant funny stuff that he would say ("He found that hole, and POUNDED IT" being my absolute favorite line), but i was getting a little tired of him.

Do you think Collinsworth is a good replacement? I personally really like Strahan's charisma, and his voice is very unique, how he would do in the booth, idk, but it'd be an interesting theory to test.

can't forget this one. that pass was a thing of beauty

chrislucas — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 17:22:20 -0000

can't forget this one. that pass was a thing of beauty

BLADOW!

chrislucas — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 17:20:24 -0000

BLADOW!

Will Parcells enforce his walk-away clause?

chrislucas — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 17:01:59 -0000

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=37959

When Parcells joined the Dolphins as executive vice president of football operations last year, his deal included a onetime out clause that would allow him to walk away, with the rest of his $12 million guaranteed contract fully paid, no strings attached, if Huizenga were to sell the team.

It goes on to say:

Parcells' contract specifically states only Huizenga can be in authority over him. Once Ross officially becomes majority owner, Parcells has to notify Ross within 30 days that he intends to exercise his walk-away clause and collect the full balance of $9 million, Mortensen reported.

This of course, is all based on if Wayne sells to 95% to Ross.

Anyway, something i came I across and wanted to share.

sweet jesus DC$ has quite the leg

chrislucas — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 20:07:08 -0000

On Arrowhead Pride there was a link to a GD Live article and apparantly Dan Carpenter has the strongest leg in the world.

Things started out well for the Dolphins as Patrick Cobbs returned the opening kickoff 60 yards to the Kansas City 31, and on the next play wide receiver Ted Ginn, Jr. scored on a 31-yard end around to stun the brave fans. It looked like it was going to be a rough day for the Chiefs on their first possession as Tyler Thigpen was picked off by Dolphins cornerback Andre Goodman, who returned it 55 yards to the Chiefs' 18, but Miami had to settle for a 343-yard field goal by rookie Dan Carpenter to make it 10-7.

Hah.

http://miamidolphins.com/newsite/news/fromthegame.asp?docid=40312

(sorry, bored @ work)

Fantasy helppppp

chrislucas — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 19:32:35 -0000

Alright, so I have both Ronnie & Ricky on my team, i don't know who to start this week. I also have Fasano, but he hasn't given me any points since weeks 1 & 3. I have Dustin Keller as my reserve TE, you think this could be Fasano's breakout game?

Help a brother out.

I've also got Ginn on my team, and it seems I let go of Carpenter a bit too soon.

Chris Lucas' Four-Day Weekend: A Retrospect

chrislucas — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 19:30:53 -0000

Boy do I love football. However, if there is anything I love more than football, it's slacking off for a long weekend of fun with some bro's. Thursday afternoon started the arduous journey from central Florida to Davie, to kick off the weekend with a primetime college football game. For those of you who don't know, I'm a Canes man. I grew up 15 minutes from the Orange Bowl, my grandparents lived in Coral Gables, and my grandfather graduated from the University of Miami. After 4 hours of sitting on my ever growing sore ass, air guitarring to Mars Volta and making my father uncomfortable with homoerotic humor and grab-ass with my buddies in the back seat we finally arrived at Joe Robbie.

My father runs to the ticket booth to get tickets as quickly as possible, because buying tickets ahead of time is for the birds apparently. Flasks in hand, my two buddies and I drank 350ml of Southern Comfort, and 400ml of Sailor Jerrys and stumbled to Gate F. After locating my dad, which in it of itself is a task of mighty proportions (he's a small man), I was hugged by an old friend who gave me one of those "drunk guy bearhugs" that made all the liquid splish-sploshing in my bladder yearn for release. (I hope that sounded as homoerotic as possible). Once I was released by the drunken vice grip we found a friend we got a ticket for as well [for those of you counting at home, we are now a fivesome] and headed into the stadium, all the while slurring "IT'S GREAT- TO BE- A MIAMI HURR-ICANE" and running to our seats. I always thought alcohol sale was prohibited at NCAAF games, but much to our elation, there was a godsend in form of a stocky, middle-aged man selling us over priced beer. Since this isn't a Canes blog I won't bore you with the details of the UM game, but it was an amazing defensive performance that left us voice-less by the time the bell tolled for the Hokies.

Friday saw us sitting on the couch for most of the day, watching Freddy Got Fingered and once again, making lewd comments to one another, as we waited for the guy we were staying with to get off of work. Since my dad was working that day too, we had no vehicle, so we hit the liquor cabinet to slake our boredom. Fast forward to hours (and mLs) later, we're in Fort Lauderdale at the Wayward Sailor waiting for The Aquabats (if you know who they are, you'll know how excited I was to see them) to get onstage. Many Jager shots and Yuengling drafts later, my friend and I stumbled to the Culture Room, leaving my two buddies from Orlando at the bar since they didn't want to go to the show. The Aquabats show blew my mind, and I danced to every song, falling more times than i could count on the sweat soaked marble floors. Most defiantly one of the greatest shows I've ever been to.

Sleeping in the living room on a blow up mattress in the middle of the floor is not the greatest form for a hung over light sleeper when everyone else in the house is waking up early for church. So Saturday morning was spent nursing my pounding head and playing GTA til our thumbs fell off. There was some monotonous shopping for Fins gear for my friends, but that stalled quickly and we found ourselves at The Grove, playing beer pong, blazing joints with homeless guys in the parking lots and howling at the "but-her-faces" wagging their round, firm behinds at us while we gawked like drunken perverts. If you ever find yourself in downtown Miami, avoid the place called "Vagabond" like the plague, it's a bunch of pretentious scensters who smoke Parliament Lights or menthols and drink martinis out of glasses that cost more than a Rolex. That place sucked, plus a homeless guy stole $20 from me instead of getting me weed. And now, onto the moment you've all been waiting for... SUNDAY! THE FINS GAME!

Breakfast at Versailles to build up strength, a 30 minute drive to Joe Robbie, and several beads and free swag later we're in the Clubhouse. If you've never been to the Clubhouse at Joe Robbie, do yourself a favor, splurge once in your life and get club seats to just enjoy the full bar, leather chairs, heated rooms (which on a day like yesterday was much needed), and beautiful women. The food is delightful, which for a vegetarian like myself is a welcomed change from nachos and peanuts, that's not to say I didn't have those either. I'll breakdown the game as best I can here:

-Player introductions were electric. They introduced the starting defensive players, huge pops for Yeremiah and Channing, and of course they saved the best for last, Joey. The stadium ERUPTED when he was announced and he pumped us up with some jumping and flexing.

-The refs were absolutely horrible this past game. We got mr. steroid-forward-pass-not-fumble. As if our special teams needed any help getting worse, there were at least 3 holds I could blatantly see, and every single punt return by the Raiders (including the one returned for a TD) had London getting blocked in the back and shoved into the dirt.

-Joey didn't look as explosive as he had towards the beginning of the season, consistently getting blocked, credit is due to our secondary, who has improved leaps and bounds since the season started, because JaMarcus actually looked poised and comfortable in the pocket.

-That reverse to Ginn was so exciting. You could hear the "ooh's" and subsequent "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH's" as we all thought he was going to be tackled by at least one of the three guys he made look like school yard chumps on his way to gallivant into the endzone.

-Ronnie's fumble broke my heart, it looked like took a lot out of him, by his body language in the following drives, that all stalled.

-Oh boy, Matty struck the nail on the head about Cobbs. He was everywhere on Sunday, even drawing double teams on Special Teams. All I can say is I would not to be on the receiving end when he lowers his shoulders.

-Brandon Fields is the man. After that safety, I was dreading the ensuing punt, but he nailed it and hung it up there long enough for us to cover the field and drop those Black & Silver dillholes at the 20.

-The people in the club seats are not nearly rowdy enough for young studs like my companions and I. We were banging seats, jeering, telling the refs to "go back to sucking dick on the corner you hack", all the while all these people could do was gripe about the play-calling and how we should throw the ball more. At one point, right before the Dan Carpenter game-winning FG, this girl sitting behind us was like "kick the FG already you're wasting time!", I don't think she's ever watched football before.

-I LOVE Greg Camarillo. Did you see that catch from a batted ball? The concentration from this kid is amazing. He got a knee in bounds. What a great player. So humble too.

-Raider fans are obnoxious. Even in defeat they won't shut up and since they're all too drunk [most likely because their team is the Raiders] to reason with you have to just turn away and roll your eyes for them to get the message. The people in the section we were in nearly threw this loud douchebag over the railing because he was quiet all game until they got the TD return, then all the sudden he's Mr. Macho and calling his friend and going on about how quiet the stadium got and how "the Raiders were supposed to lose this game, what happened Dolfans?" After Teddy caught that 7 yard pass I turned around and "WHOOOOO"ed him directly in the face while we all motioned first down and chanted it into his tearing eyes.

All-in-all it was a magnificent weekend and it sucks coming back to work and reality, but I will leave you with the words of wisdom that Old School (the vagrant who smoked us out) left us with. Bear in mind, this is the last thing he said to us before turning around and walking away:

I've met everyone in the world except Jesus Christ, and I've seen something the world has never seen; a monkey eating pussy with golden chopsticks.

Jets sign Ty Law

chrislucas — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 16:48:31 -0000

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3694821

Not sure if this has been reported here already or if anyone cares lol

I think he'll be their nickleback, could provide some trouble for us in snowy NY if we can't get the run game going.

More words:

It's 4:20, roll up, nigga getting smo-ked out
No seeds, California weed have you choked out
No doubt, roll up, which rims spoked out
4:20 mean you either roll up or roll out