craig in calgary

  • joined Oct 16, 2008
  • last login Jul 03, 2014
  • posts 181
  • comments 32521

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  • MLB Toronto Blue Jays
  • NFL Kansas City Chiefs
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User Blog

Bluejays' Buck Bursting Baltimores Bubble


As pointed out by @GloBlair during the first inning of Friday's game, Adam Jones had a big ol' honking bubble worked up when Toronto's John Buck golfed a low pitch to deep center field. The reigning Gold Glover appeared to get a good jump on the play, but his dual attempt at blowing a bubble and fielding his position resulted in the ball bouncing off his glove and two Blue Jays runners coming home to score. Had he made the catch, the inning would have been over.

Is it possible the play of the year was on the first day of the season?


Is it possible the play of the year was on the first day of the season?


We know the truth, but prefer lies: Baseball Stats for Dummies.

Vernon Wells' Adjusted OPS is .700.  HUH? Aaron Hills' wOBA is .353 but has a (-0.6) UZR. Say Whaaaa? OPS, wOBA, UZR, VORP, WAR, BBQ, RSVP, RRSP, LOL, ROTFLMAO   This was me last year. I knew I...


Top 10 Football Mustaches

Top 10 Football Mustaches

New BFTB Logo! - Bolts From The Blue


Fresh new logo, same crappy blog. See! We can change logo's!


Win your very own TEBOW TOONIE!!

Good morning Arrowhead Pride! Hope everyone had a good St. Patricks Day! I appologize to those who are tired about hearing Tebow's name, I promise I will keep it short. Look. I'm not here to...


Awful moments in Sports Reporting - Chris Mortensen Edition

Yesterday the Kansas City Chiefs sign free agent Thomas Jones to a very good contract which could give the Chiefs one of the best backfields in football. "Could the Chiefs be on the verge of...

Chris Bosh Out For Season After Cutting Open Knee To See How It Works


TORONTO—The Raptors medical staff announced Tuesday that Chris Bosh will miss the rest of the season after the inquisitive forward cut open his knee with a steak knife in an effort to look inside and see how the joint works. "There's a lot more stuff in there than I thought," said Bosh, who after finishing the surgery attempted to stop the bleeding by wrapping an entire roll of toilet paper around his knee. "It probably needs all those meaty-looking ropes so it can bend. And look in this pickle jar—I kind of had to use some pressure to get it started turning, but I had no idea that I could unscrew my kneecap. Pretty cool, huh?" While recovering from the significant ligament and cartilage damage, Bosh said he plans to undergo a procedure to detect early signs of colorectal cancer by shoving a digital camera up his ass.

Franchise tag humo(u)r


Andrew Martin today placed the franchise tag on his girlfriend, Stephanie, after it became apparent the no-good slut was probably going to leave him for one of the other guys she was banging. "The franchise tag is not the ideal situation," said Martin. "I would have liked to have worked out a longer term agreement. But at least this way I have her locked up for the next year. She cheats, but she is amazing in bed. Probably because she has had a lot of practice, the whore." Due to receiving the franchise tag, Stephanie will receive all the attention and gifts afforded to the average girlfriend of her age (24), measurements (34-26-34), hair color (brown) and income ($47,500). Stephanie Jacobs says she is okay with being franchised. "I don’t know that I was going to leave him," says Jacobs. "And I’m not a slut. I resent that accusation. I don’t cheat. I just flirt and keep my options open. I mean, I’m still young. And I don’t see a ring on this finger. But I’ll be a team player for the next year and see where that takes us." Another guy could still lure Stephanie away from Martin, but would have to surrender two sisters. "She’s mine for the year," says Martin. "I’m excited. But let me set the record straight – Stephanie is a no-good tramp. She calls what she does flirting? Is there usually penetration in flirting? No? Yeah, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell the skank." Andrew and Stephanie will try to resolve that difference and others in the coming franchise year. "If I didn’t want her long-term, I wouldn’t have franchised her," said Martin. "But over the next year, I’ll try to add some depth in case things don’t work out. There’s a cute barista at the coffee shop I think I could get. And there’s the new intern at work who is super hot. Maybe I bring them into the fold and let Stephanie hit the market after this year, who knows." No matter what happens in the future, Stephanie says she has made her mark with her boyfriend. "I gave him herpes and genital warts," she said.


Draft Genious Scott Pioli?

    There have been MANY debates around here about our GM Scott Pioli. The main argument I think is who is ultimately responsible for the Patriot’s dynasty in the 90’s, Bilichick or Pioli? Daily...


A DThomasReigns Memorial

It’s a slow offseason here at AP so I found myself going through some archives and old posts. I have not much to offer talking about KC BBQ, I don’t know enough about draft prospects to do a good...

Johnny Damon to the Tigers?


Certainy I'd be interested in Johnny if the deal was similar to the Braves offer but 1 year @ $7M seems far too steep for me.


BBB Superbowl picks

  IT'S SUPER SUNDAY BABY!  Today the Colts and Saints battle for Football Supremacy. Both teams live and die on their offense with 2 of the best Peyton Manning and Drew Brees at the helm. I...

Chiefs Super Radical Mock Draft - Mocking The Draft


Come check out my draft over at Mocking the Draft! Feel free to critique

Chiefs Super Radical Mock Draft

1. Tim Tebow – QB/NT   I know what you are all thinking. "There is NO way Tebow will be available with the 5th overall pick". Maybe, maybe not, but this is just a Mock draft, appease me....



I see we just hit 6,000,000 visits. Besides that MMA site, I've yet to find an SBNation with nearly as many. Blogging the Boys is the closest. Just wait till we quit sucking!


Offseason Tomfoolery

  Good morning AP. Well, judging by the 1,000,000,000,000 posts and comments on draft's and free agency, I'd say its safe to say everyone fancies themselves an Armchair General Manager. Well,...

"We never should have traded Cassel"


Text message from Bill Simmons dad to Bill Simmons after Tom Brady's 3rd interception this weekend. I thought this was hilarious for so many reasons.

Chiefs rename franchise Even Newer England Patriots


The Kansas City Chiefs announced Romeo Crennel as their new defensive coordinator today, and also announced the franchise will now be called the Even Newer England Patriots. "Scott Pioli, Matt Cassel, Mike Vrabel, Charlie Weis, Romeo Crennel," said Even Newer England Patriots spokesman Jeff Connor, "there's no point of trying to be subtle about it anymore." Despite the name change, Pioli, Even Newer England's general manager, doubts the team will add more former Patriots. "At least none of the ones that are currently on the team. I've seen them play," he said. "I'm trying to make this team better, not worse."

Walter Football Power Rankings


30. Kansas City Chiefs (4-12) - Previously: #30 - As Jamaal Charles scored his 56-yard touchdown with 6:36 remaining in the fourth quarter, he had 259 rushing yards in the game. I was excited because Charles had a shot at breaking Adrian Peterson's single-game record of 296 yards. Unfortunately, Todd Haley didn't give Charles a chance, opting to run the ball with Javarris Williams and Mike Cox instead. Why did he do this? Time for oddities! 16:1 - Haley forgot about Charles; he saw a motorcycle rider in the stands and began thinking deeply about Larry Johnson. 8:1 - Haley wanted to save Charles for the team's playoff run; Haley was so befuddled by all the AFC playoff scenarios that he thought his Chiefs still had a chance. 6:1 - Haley was confused because he had never been up by 20 points before in his coaching career. Completely disoriented, he called in random running backs off the bench. 1:250 - Haley is a douche.


You Know What Grinds My Gears?

    Well the past couple of weeks, there is a couple things that have been bothering me and I thought I’d go on a little rant. Luckily for me I was watching the "Grinding my Gears" episode of...


Is it okay to "Quit on the Chiefs?"

This is bound to happen after amassing 9 wins in 3 years. "Fans" are disgruntled and stop caring and we end up with pitiful displays such as a half full Arrowhead and posts claiming things like "T...

Glaus signs with the Braves


Troy Glaus is the newest member of the Atlanta Braves after signing an incentive laden one year deal with the club ending his tenure with the Cardinals (early estimates place the deal at $2 million plus whatever incentives he reaches).


Summary of Kansas City Chiefs Power Rankings - Christmas edition

 Good afternoon AP! Well its Christmas week, which for the 3rd year in a row, means the Chiefs are in a heated race for the playoffs first overall draft pick. Life these days isn't great for our...


June 25th, 2010

I did some math today. Assuming the Doc trade goes through (Looks like a foregone conclusion) and assuming he is the opening day starter (also a pretty good asumption) and assuming he pitches every...


Summary of Kansas City Chiefs Power Rankings - Week 14 edition

  Good afternoon AP! Welcome to the Week 14 edition of the KC Chiefs Power rankings summary. After back-to-back divisional asskickings, the Chiefs have continued their downward spiral down the...


Summary of Kansas City Chiefs Power Rankings - Week 12 edition

Summary of Kansas City Chiefs Power Rankings - Week 12 edition

Relationship advice: Don't tell your Girfriend that she looks like Kurt Cobain.


Relationship advice: Don't tell your Girfriend that she looks like Kurt Cobain.

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