1514320_orig

dadio.mcduck

  • joined Aug 25, 2012
  • last login Jul 25, 2014
  • posts 30
  • comments 47

Dadio Wellington McDuck™ was born to As*holio Marinara McDuck and an unknown woman somewhere between the late 19th century and the mid 20th century in Transylvania, Pennsylvania. Though his mother chose to remain unknown due to the shame McDuck brought upon her, many theories have been proposed as to the true identity of his mother with most historians favoring Georgia O'Keeffe. The date of his birth is a mystery because McDuck ingested his birth certificate shortly after being born later saying he destroyed the "evidence" because he "wanted to be able to get both senior citizen benefits as well as kids meal prices".

He began peddling stray cats at the age of four, often times trading them with a Super Slam Breakfast at his local Denny's. After achieving moderate success, he was approached by an ambitious young man named Fidel Alejandro Castro Ruz who wanted Dadio to help him sell imitation grapefruits. Dadio declined but offered him advice about how to dictate orders to subordinates.

In order to save money on postage, Dadio traveled to the Appalachian Mountains in order to employ Southern flying squirrels. It was there that he was exposed to the art of yodeling. His teacher, the great Adelheid "Gargle" Fabiola, recommended that Dadio begin speaking with a Persian accent in order to master the technique called "tahrir" which is similar to yodeling. Dadio has not been able to drop the accent.

In fact, his accent has been cause for ridicule anywhere Dadio goes. It is for this reason that he underwent treatment for Foreign Accent Syndrome. There he met Hodgie "The Electric" Smodgie and the rest is history.

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  • NFL Cincinnati Bengals
  • MLB Cincinnati Reds
  • NBA Los Angeles Lakers
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