DAL has gotten worse, SA are still old and still around, OKC and MEM have gained valuable experience, Stern helped the Clippers cheat, and the Lakers are in a quandary.

But every regular season surprises us. Here's how I think this one will play out. I'd love to see what everyone else thinks will happen. This should be a fun thread to revisit come playoff time.

WEST

1. Oklahoma
   
2. Dallas
   
3. Memphis
   
4. Lakers
   
5. Clippers
   
6. San Antonio
   
7. Denver
   
8. Houston

EAST

1. Chicago
   
2. Miami
   
3. Atlanta
   
4. New York
   
5. Boston
   
6. Orlando
   
7. Indiana
   
8. Philadelphia

Don't give me any nonsense about this being a frivolous fanpost... this is the greatest piece of investigative journalism (or net stalking--it's a thin line) you're likely to see this decade.

He is a legend of this site, an icon, and a cult hero. He is Lewis Monroe. After his disappearance, I decided it was about time to go looking for him. I set off on my epic quest out of dedication to SS&R, and after 17 grueling seconds on Google, I found him.

This is Lewis Monroe, Laker for life. Do not doubt him. Adhere to his spelling. Honor the caps lock key when you speaketh his phrases.

His profile page at the webshots community site gives us these insights:

My occupation is... BIG TIME BALLER
I went to College at... #### UNIVERSITY
My favorite foods are... ALL YOU CAN EAT
I'm currently reading...
Most recent movies I've watched are... I''M GOING TO GET YOU SUCKA
When I play games, I play... ALL AROUND THE WORLD
My pets are... BIG DOG
My dream vacations would be... LIVE ON MARS

You are seeing this correctly. His favorite food is indeed ALL YOU CAN EAT and he is currently reading nothing. This would explain his quick disappearance. He graced us with his wisdom, and since he does not care to read, didn't stick around to bother waiting for our comments. It all makes sense.

If you're reading this Lewis... come back! We miss you!

I leave you with a final tribute, SS&R style:

The Nuggets and Knicks can't sign him unless the Lakers cut him or trade him which is not likely, but Caracter can sign with a non-NBA team. The Lakers would retain his rights in that case. He'd certainly get a ton more playing experience as a starter than he would as a rookie riding the pine in LA, but the trade-off is we would lose a valuable year of developing him under our system and the mutual benefit he and the Laker bigs would get by competing in practice.

This report has been "de-coded" as follows...

Now it doesn’t take Holmesian-level logic capacity to deduce the identities of at least two of the three unnamed (presumably) Euroleague teams in the running to bid for Caracter’s services: Clearly the "Israeli club" is Maccabi Tel Aviv – presuming Santa Claus hasn’t recently dumped an early Xmas gift of a few million on Galil/Gilboa – and one of those "two Italian teams" is certainly the American player-loving Virtus Roma. The logical assumption would be to pencil in Montepaschi Siena as the second Italia squad. (Source)

Much of the time-table seems to rest on payroll obligations: the signing of Brown, Ebanks, and Caracter pending the fate of Sasha.

European teams have been calling about Derrick Carcater and word is he was offered a multi-year, multi-million dollar offer from Maccabi Tel Aviv. So the Lakers are on the clock to get these deals done before they lose these players to other situations. All three, Brown, Carcater and Ebanks, would rather be Lakers, but if the business side continues to drag on who knows how it will play out. -From: Hoopsworld

In the long term, if Caracter develops, he would be a much cheaper option than Odom. Odom will be here for the three-peat, but Caracter could make a case for himself after that considering the luxury-tax adjusted cost differential would be over $14 million. The sooner Caracter develops in our system, the sooner he could start saving Dr. Buss some cash, so I'm sure the FO is motivated to keep him in LA this year.

Caracter has stated he wants to prove he should have been a first round prospect, so that also bodes well for him playing for the Lakers. The international teams can offer him much more money, though, and that has to be tempting for a rookie.

Which 5-man team would win if they went head-to-head in a 7 game playoff series? Oh, here are another twenty-one irrelevant words to reach the minimum of 75 words so I can post this fucking poll.

2005 Laker Starters
PG - Smush Paker
SG - Kobe Bryant
SF - Luke Walton
PF - Lamar Odom
C - Kwame Brown

2010 Laker Bench
PG - Steve Blake
SG - Sasha Vujacic
SF - Matt Barnes
PF - Lamar Odom
C - Theo Ratliff

If Brown walks as he's expected to, do we play Sasha or bench him?

Sasha did a decent job in the finals, so I think most of us would like to see him get minutes at the backup 2, but he's on the last year of a bloated contract, meaning the chances he'll be moved at the trading deadline are high. Do we still want to give him minutes if he may be gone? That could disrupt the team's rhythm. 

The reason I think this is important: if we sign a PG like Blake, we may not have the money for Bell, so we'd end up with a back court that looks like this:

PG - Fisher, Blake

SG - Kobe, Sasha, Crittenton

All in good fun, here's a compilation of Laker pet peeves that I hope do NOT show up for game 7.

Inspired by SS&R's nickname for a Derek Fisher's W.A.L.I.T. flaw (Weak Ass Lay-up In Transition) during the regular season, it's time to call out the other Lakers, especially after Derek's WALITs won us a game and actually turned into BALITs (Bad Ass Lay-ups In Transition).

Please feel free to add your own. I can't wait to read them!

Sasha Vujacic = W.O.E.O.F. (Whining On Every Obvious Foul)

Shannon Brown = D.A.D.O.O. (Dumb Ass Decisions On Offense)

Ron Artest = C.A.J.F.A.O. (Crazy Ass Jumpers From All Over)

Pau Gasol = W.A.F.I.P. (Wimpy Ass Flops In the Paint)

Luke Walton =  P.L.A.S.S.L.A.D. (Passes Like A Star, Shoots Like A Dog)

Andrew Bynum = N.O.T.M.I.H.M. (Never Overachieves, Too Mild In His Manners)

Lamar Odom = S.N.I.C.K.E.R.S. (Sadly Negligent In Concentration, Khloe Endures Running from Spotlight)

Before the playoffs started, I had hoped Mitch Kupchak would find a way to make the rumored Bynum-for-Bosh trade this summer.

But Bynum has shown heart and played as hard as he can during these finals. When most people wrote him off for the season after game 4, he's gotten treatment and will play in game 5, a game he's calling the most important of his career.

Odom has shown little heart on the court, and off the court, Saurav summed it up well:

I still can't believe Lamar Odom's comments about how he refuses to 'put a win or a loss on [his] shoulders... [the Lakers] need to do everything as a team'. He's not only shrinking from the spotlight, he's actively running away and directing the spotlight towards others, and it's despicable.

Odom's got the versatility of Magic Johnson but the heart of Benoit Benjamin. Now I'm hoping Kupchak keeps Bynum and finds a way to move Odom, but with his new contract, who'd take him?

Toronto might swap Turkoglu for Odom, but I don't know if that'd help the Lakers. Artest would have to come off the bench and we'd still need a backup PF.

Maybe Miami if they can't land Bosh, Boozer, or Amare and have a bunch of cash to spend, but the Lakers would get little in return.

The realistic options are pretty bad, so here's a dream scenario that will never happen... Chris Bosh threatens to walk out of Toronto and forces this deal: the Lakers send Odom, Artest, Vujacic and Brown/Farmar to Toronto for Bosh, Turkoglu and Calderon.