SB Nation Blog: devil_fingers

Decision 2008: Nicknaming Jose Guillen, or, Won't Someone Please Think of the (Bleep)ing Babies?

devil_fingers — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 20:24:26 -0000

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. - 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' - Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"

--Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

Many players have captured the hearts and minds of Royals fans over the years -- Brett, Saberhagen, Harvey... the list goes on. But rarely have such players _embodied_ the wild emotional swings of fans so well as the man whom we nickname now: Jose Guillen. Read on for what must be considered as we undertake the next stage in our arduous journey.

Of course I [Buzz Bissinger] asked for it by saying in Three Nights that sabermetricians don't lo...

devil_fingers — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 18:37:16 -0000

Of course I [Buzz Bissinger] asked for it by saying in Three Nights that sabermetricians don't love the game of baseball. That set their hair on fire. So did a theory I posed (I emphasize theory) that young pitchers get hurt because they don't pitch enough in the minors. It was four paragraphs in a 7,000-word piece about Kerry Wood for Play, and Wood himself agreed with the theory. What they really hated was that one of my sources was Tony La Russa, whose performance over the past four years, including this one, makes Billy Beane look like a Little League GM." So much to love about this -- the Beane-LaRussa comparison, the notion that he was unfairly attacked, and more. My favorite is that Mr. Journalistic Responsibility neglects to mention that the "attacks" on Three Nights in August showed that he didn't even bother to do a basic Google search or consult the easily-accessible information that could have established the historical point about innings in the minor leagues once and for all. You see, Buzz, one of the requirements for something called a "theory" (as you so cleverly try to qualify it) is that it can be confirmed or disconfirmed. As I've said before, I suppose he didn't have any money left for an expensive phone call or email to Stats, Inc. or wherever after picking up LaRussa's bar tab for a night or two.

The Mets are back, baby!

devil_fingers — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:22:37 -0000

Everyone has their own "favorite" GM. Of the currently employed bunch, mine is Ned "Snakeskin Boots" Colletti. And he is awesome -- Juan Pierre, Nomar, keeping LaRoche et. al. on the bench, and so much more. But he's only my #1 because one very special little boy sadly lost his position this year, and that little boy is finally in a front office again. Look out, Omar! Indeed, look out NL East! [Note to Dayton: if you think Burgos-for-Bannister was good getting...]

Decision 2008: The Time of the Hero, or The Nicknaming of Mike Aviles Poll

devil_fingers — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:56:22 -0000

"Homer, I don't use the word "hero" very often, but you are the greatest hero in American history."

--Lionel Hutz, RIP

And so it begins with Mike Aviles, the man who is changing the complexion of the 2008 AL Central race as we speak. The man whom the readers of this blog were arguing about weeks before his callup. The arguments have now given way to vindictive posts, mea culpas, and hopeful revisions. Whatever the case, all are united in admiration for (cliché alert) the Man, the Myth, and the Legend -- Mike Aviles. It is fitting that this man will be the first to be nicknamed by a Real Royals Blog. It is fitting that this man, doubted for so long, passed over for more recent, flash-in-the-pan imports who save multiple runs a game with their defense, be a symbol that this blog and its readers will not have their place usurped by another. It is time for Mike Aviles to be properly christened.

Mellinger: Moore Offered Billy Butler for Yuniesky Betancourt

devil_fingers — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 21:01:26 -0000

Maybe someone can explain this to me, I just... OK, I, um, uh...

4 in a row baby! It's time 2 make some moves!!!111ONE!

devil_fingers — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 16:08:18 -0000

Get the Cards a body bag , yeeeeaaahhh! Just when we thought the season might be over, Mike "The Missing Avilanche of Salvation" Aviles begins to rake and lead this whole team to a series of wins that can't help but put the team in the wild card, and probably the division race. Nothing can possi-bligh go wrong at this point, amiright? I think it's time for DMGM to finally make some moves to move this teams chance of contention in 2008 from 85% all the way to 99.99999999% (there is a chance that Aviles might get hit by lighting, a piano might fall out of an airplane onto him, Ozzie Guillen might try some wacky religious thing, or something like that). We're so close, baby!!!!! Here are a few moves I suggest that DMGM might consider. No, that he MUST DO. Or I will never ever watch a game (even on GameDay) involving these losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers losers111111!!1

Real Nicknaming for a Real Royals Blog

devil_fingers — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 02:03:12 -0000

Let's get this out of the way: I like Rany Jazayerli. He's a longtime Royals fan. He got Rob Neyer to exchange and publish emails about the team in which Neyer seems to have zero faith and hope for (maybe some love). He makes money removing warts from ugly people. He is one of the Founders of Baseball Prospectus. I get it. He's important. Blah blah blah. Whatever. But exactly who does he think he is, starting a blog, and after just a few months deciding to have the "official" nicknaming contest of Royals internet fandom?

Milton Bradley just wanted to meet Ryan Lefebvre

devil_fingers — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 22:16:40 -0000

Milton, this is Ryan. Ryan, Milton. Would you like a cognac?

aaaaahhhhhh yeaaahhhhh... way to GRIND out a close one, boys

devil_fingers — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 21:44:52 -0000

Rany and Reason #2

devil_fingers — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 17:20:08 -0000

Is Rany "breaking up" with Trey Hillman, Reason #2 on the Royals' Golden Path? Feel the love!