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dougisthesoulmachine

  • joined Jan 28, 2010
  • last login Jul 09, 2013
  • posts 22
  • comments 80

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User Blog

TIME TO PLAY EVERYONE'S FAVORITE GAME: "IS THAT SANITARY?" (GEORGIA-AUBURN EDITION)

28

The Auburn Tigers were last seen racing to a barely contested 14-0 lead against Georgia last Saturday night, then frittering it away and leaving Athens with a 31-24 loss. Evidently, though, a lead...

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION FRIDAY: THE PRESEASON COACHES' POLL IS OPEN FOR HECKLING

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With just a shade under four weeks left to go before the 2009 season finally, mercifully kicks off, the coaches -- or, rather, their poor, put-upon assistants, with the exception of Steve...

CURIOUS INDEX, 8/7/09

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'Cause it's Friday, you ain't got no football, and you ain't got s#!t to do. Break yo' self, fool -- the preseason USA Today Coaches' Poll has been released in all its premature,...

COUNTDOWN 2009: 28

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Never before in the history of warfare had there been a continuing explosive; indeed, up to the middle of the twentieth century the only explosives known were combustibles whose explosiveness was...

WHEN KEEPING IT REAL GOES WRONG: PERCY HARVIN

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NARRATOR (V/O): You're watching "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong." Percy Harvin was one of the most talented athletes in college football history: A five-foot, eleven-inch receiver out of...

THE HAL MUMME COACHING TREE: MORE OF A SHRUB, REALLY

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If you're an SEC fan of a certain vintage, you probably have vivid memories of former Kentucky head coach Hal Mumme: looked like Ted Danson's awkward younger brother, called plays like a desperate...

CURIOUS INDEX, 8/6/09

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For lack of a better term, we're calling this the "Kiffin Effect." Pop quiz, hotshot: Coming off a 4-8 season and a 45-0 vivisectioning by your big in-state rival in which you netted all...

COUNTDOWN 2009: 29

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No matter how big a guy might be, Nicky would take him on. You beat Nicky with fists, he comes back with a bat. You beat him with a knife, he comes back with a gun. And if you beat him with a gun,...

WHAT'S ON YOUR PROGRAM'S BUCKET LIST?

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I've always wanted to hunt the most dangerous game . . . Ohio State fans. Senator Blutarsky laid down the challenge, and T. Kyle King, who hates Auburn -- boy, does he ever hate Auburn --...

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: PEDRO ARMENDÁRIZ

7

This week Mustache Wednesday pays tribute to a fellow who was taken before his time but still managed to pack more livin' into 51 years than the rest of us probably could in twice that long: Mexico...

HE'S TANNED, HE'S RESTED, HE'S READY . . . OK, ONE OUT OF THREE AIN'T BAD

25

The U.S. House of Representatives certainly has never had a shortage of complete nutcakes, but ever since former Rep. Tom Osborne (R-NE) declined to run for re-election in 2006 (in favor of an...

CURIOUS INDEX, 8/5/09

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Plus Vince Young's roommate had the last name "McCoy," and Colt McCoy's roommate has the last name "Young"! OK, that's completely false, but ESPN Big 12 blogger Tim Griffin has found s...

COUNTDOWN 2009: 30

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O God! methinks it were a happy life, To be no better than a homely swain; To sit upon a hill, as I do now, To carve out dials quaintly, point by point, Thereby to see the minutes, how they run, ...

ASK THE BIG 10 COMMISH: LAID-BACK ADVICE FROM THE UNFLUSTERABLE JIM DELANY

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Worried about the Big 10's recent habit of face-planting in high-profile out-of-conference games? Jim Delany isn't: "In any particular time frame, could be three years, could be five years, could...

MEMPHIS, WE HAVE A PROBLEM: COUNT THE THINGS WRONG WITH THE "BLIND SIDE" TRAILER

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If you've devoured Michael Lewis's endlessly fascinating The Blind Side (as we have) and followed the amusing updates of cameos by Saban, the Orgeron, et al in the upcoming film adaptation (ditto),...

URBAN MEYER HEARS DEAD PEOPLE

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The local rabble who've spent much of the past couple weeks going nuclear on Paul Finebaum for daring to suggest any comparison between Urban Meyer and Bear Bryant will be gratified to hear: The...

CURIOUS INDEX, 8/4/09

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F$#@ Sooners, get money. Packing two of the last three national-title trophies and gunning for another one in '09, Urban Meyer is getting a raise that will jack his salary up to an even...

COUNTDOWN 2009: 31

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A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying,...

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR: THE TIM TEBOW SONG

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I've already had one request this morning for "Tim Tebow Song," a YouTube music video posted by a couple of enterprising Florida fans and currently spreading like chlamydia, no doubt, through...

IF THE PAC-10 HOLDS MEDIA DAYS IN A FOREST AND NOBODY'S THERE TO HEAR IT, DOES IT MAKE A SOUND?

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During one of our post-SEC-media-days evening wind-downs, I overheard our fearless leader Orson, in a telephone trash-talk exchange with one of our illustrious Big XII partisans, describe Big XII...

THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO IMPUGN CHARLIE WEIS'S MASCULINITY

19

Breaking news out of Honolulu, and obviously important enough to merit its own post: Hawaii head coach Greg McMackin has been docked a month's pay for his uncharitable, sexual-preference-based...

CURIOUS INDEX, 8/3/2009

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I'm Richie Cunningham, and this is my lovely wife Oprah. Allow myself to introduce . . . myself: I'm Doug Gillett, proprietor of Hey Jenny Slater, occasional contributor to Dr. Saturday,...

Showing 1 - 22 of 22
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