I am a retired soviet KGB office. I work now part time in delicatessen here in Moscow
How I became a devoted Knick fan
In the waning days of the Soviet Union in1990 the NBA champion Detroit Pistons toured the Soviet Union. Prime minister Gorbachev invited the team to tour the Kremlin and stay at his private dacha in the country side near Moscow.
I was assigned by the KGB to be part of the cooking staff at the dacha. I have been highly trained in many forms of pharmacological warfare as well as being an excellent cutter of smoked fish.
I worked the buffet line and I am now slightly ashamed to say that the sturgeon and smoked salmon, both at my station, were laced with powerful, tasteless hypnotic drugs. Later, three of the Pistons were taken asleep from their rooms and brought to our underground laboratory beneath the dacha.
There they were administered permanent mind altering substances and reprogrammed to fit certain of our long term objectives.
You see at the time the Soviet \Union was breaking apart. The whole Glasnost thing and all the new freedoms that it brought, we at the KGB saw the handwriting on the wall and we had to take drastic actions to save our asses
Anyway, long story short, over the years, we have monitored the effects of the drugs on the players. The results have been most interesting. I take pride that I was in part of the reprogramming team that created our biggest success, Isiah Thomas.