She's been very naughty, but the Vikings have been nothing but nice this year.

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Dear Santa,

Sunday is Minnesota's last game before Christmas. Unfortunately, I don't have much time to write you this year; I have my holiday party for work tonight and a family Christmas tomorrow. I would have written to you last night, but I was too busy watching my fantasy playoff dreams getting crushed by Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, and Dallas Clark. So rather than give you a full analysis of the upcoming Vikings/Panthers game (I know you're an avid reader of the Daily Norseman now that the North Pole has Wi-Fi), I'll give you my wish list for the game and the rest of the Vikings' season:

• I really wish that you could send some good medicine to Percy Harvin for those migraines he's been having. He really wants that Rookie of the Year trophy as a belated Christmas present, and he deserves it. It'd be a shame for him to miss out on his gift just because he missed games at the end of the year. And of course we need him down the stretch and in the playoffs!
• I wish that Matt Moore plays just like Jake Delhomme and sends lots of gifts to our secondary on Sunday night.
• I wish that the Vikings will capture the #1 spot in rushing defense yet again. It's becoming a holiday tradition! And if we can stop DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart, it will go a long way towards getting the top rushing defense and winning the game on Sunday.
• I wish that we don't have a game like the last time we were in Carolina in 2005. You remember that game, don't you Santa? Steve Smith went wild on us, Daunte Culpepper played his last game as a Viking thanks to blowing out approximately 17 ligaments in his knee, and Minnesota lost 38-13. Can we make some positive memories this time around?
• I wish that I could see some good ol' fashioned calf roping on Sunday from Jared Allen. He's been a little quiet lately, and I'd like to see him make a late-season push for Defensive MVP. (Otherwise, Charles Woodson is probably going to win, and you know we don't want that to happen.) I just hope that Allen can outperform Julius Peppers and establish his dominance again.
• I wish for a healthy Brett Favre down the stretch and throughout the playoffs. I know, I know--I spent 16 years wishing for the exact opposite thing to happen. You got me there. But you never came through on any of those wishes, so maybe this year you could take my wish into account. Just this once? I vividly remember watching Tarvaris Jackson in the Metrodome during the playoff game against the Eagles last year. There's a very real possibility of that matchup happening again this season, and I'd much prefer to have #4 behind center.
• I wish that Chris Gamble will learn from covering Randy Moss and take most of the plays off this week. He should just let Sidney Rice and Bernard Berrian roam free all day. Could you teach Chris that giving space is better than receiving any interceptions?

(More wishes and my Week 15 picks after the jump)

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Colts over JAGUARS: I know the game just started, but I had some errands to run before I could get to a computer. Who knows how long the Colts will keep their starters in tonight, but I have a feeling they play most if not all of the game tonight. You just can't rest your guys for a solid month between meaningful games. Which is unfortunate for me, because I'm facing Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, and Dallas Clark in one of my fantasy playoffs.

But I guess I should just be thankful I'm in the playoffs in the first place, because I was thisclose to not making it after Monday night's game. I had my week 14 victory all locked up, but I needed another guy to lose to get the 4th and final spot in our league. All I needed was two points from Anquan Boldin for the other guy to lose and I was golden. Hey, Boldin and golden, that rhymed.

As you all know, the Cardinals decided to take a sloppy, post-heavy-drinking-and-Chipotle-style dump on Monday night. When Boldin only had 17 yards at halftime, I was genuinely concerned. But he ended up getting a couple more catches in the second half to put him at 32 yards late in the game, and everything looked fine for me. The only way I'd lose is if he fumbled, because it's -2 points in our league.

Of course, he fumbled on Arizona's final drive of the game. After angrily screaming every expletive I knew, I realized that Boldin got about eight yards before he fumbled. That would give him right around 40 yards, and the fumble would still put him at two points total. Luckily, that statisticians gave Boldin exactly 40 yards for the game, putting me in the playoffs by literally one yard.

Needless to say, the guy that didn't make the playoffs was none too pleased. His dozen or so texts telling me to do things to myself that I'm pretty sure are physically impossible reinforced that fact.

Which brings me to my question to you, oh wise Daily Norseman readers--do you have any fantasy "bad beats" that you'd like to share with the rest of us? I think it would be very therapeutic to share your tortuous defeats with others. So go right ahead and air your grievances in the comment section below. After all, 'tis the season.

Love him or hate him, he's already made Sunday's game a lot more interesting.

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He Riverdanced in the endzone. He putted the football with a pylon. He gave the football CPR. He declared himself a future Hall of Famer. He sent "gifts" to opposing defensive backs on game weeks. He made a list of "who covered him" in 2005. He raced a freaking horse. He got fined for asking not to be fined. He proposed to a Bengals cheerleader. He jumped into the Dawg Pound and did a Lambeau Leap. Just last week, he donned a sombrero and poncho. This week, he's threatening to blow the Vikings horn if he scores. (As Gonzo already pointed out, that's gonna be pretty tough considering we play that through the speakers.)

He legally changed his last name from Johnson to the Spanish pronunciation of the digits of his jersey number. He may change his last name again to the Japanese pronunciation of the digits of his jersey number. No, I'm not kidding. You may be choosing Chad Hachi Go in your fantasy drafts next year.

He violates the NFL uniform policy more often than Tiger Woods violates his marriage vows. He Tweets roughly 647 times a day. He made up two totally nonsensical phrases, "Child please" and "Kiss da baby", while stealing the show on HBO's "Hard Knocks" this season. (Not to mention his new line of condoms.) He...well that's all I can think of right now, but I'm sure I'm missing at least a handful of other crazy things he's done.

And you know what? Even though I'm not a Bengals fan, I love every last bit of it.

If you're a regular reader of the Daily Norseman, you know that I often have fun at the expense of opposing players. Just take a look at my recent posts about T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Jay Cutler. But when it comes to Chad Ochocinco, I can't help but like the guy.

Most people outside of southwestern Ohio can't stand him, and I understand why. Chad is a cocky, showboating loudmouth who's starved for attention and wants the spotlight permanently affixed on him. When he scores, I'm guessing the phrase "act like you've been there before" has never crossed his mind. Each premeditated celebration makes Vince Lombardi and Knute Rockne spin in their graves. Basically, he's the polar opposite of "old school".

Which, in my opinion, makes him so likable. My formative years of NFL fandom included the Ickey Shuffle, the Redskins "Fun Bunch", the Super Bowl Shuffle, and Billy White Shoes Johnson. I fell in love with the NFL because it looked like so much fun. These days, I'm all too aware that the NFL is big business before everything else. But Chad's antics, as sophomoric and cheesy as they are, remind us that the game can still be fun.

So there, I said it. I defended #85. I truly enjoy him. Deal with it. But that doesn't mean I'll enjoy anything he does on Sunday.

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Steelers over BROWNS: Tonight's NFL Network game pits AFC North rivals Pittsburgh and Cleveland against each other. Well, I guess "rivals" doesn't really fit this one-sided matchup. "Tonight's game pits bully Pittsburgh against 90-pound weakling Cleveland" sounds more accurate. Although the Steelers have fallen on hard times lately, there's no way they lose to the aptly named Browns. (Why "aptly named Browns", you ask? Because poop is also brown. Most of the time.)

So rather than bore you with analysis of two teams that have lost a combined eleven games in a row, I'd like to ask you a favor.

Those of us in Minnesota just got dumped on by our first major Winter storm of the season. The storm was a bit late in the year, but it made up for its tardiness with lots of wind, ice, cold, and car accidents. I hate snowstorms if I have to travel more than 50 feet. But one thing I love about the Winter season is delicious seasonal beers.

Over Thanksgiving, I had a few bottles of Michelob Winter's Bourbon Cask Ale. It was outstanding, but I haven't been able to find it at my local liquor stores since I had it. Anyone in the Twin Cities area know where I can buy this tasty refreshment, especially somewhere close to South Minneapolis?

I've also had a couple six-packs of Schell SnowStorm. It's another solid winter beer that washes down those dozen Christmas cookies you ate juuust right.

But like watching the Vikings' performance this past Sunday evening, I'm left wanting more. So I ask you, faithful DN readers--what is your favorite Winter beer? Please leave suggestions in the comments section. If I get enough entries, maybe I'll do a Fanpost around Christmas time saying which beers I liked best. I can see it now...

My girlfriend: "Honey, it's a Tuesday night. You've already had seven different kinds of beer. Why don't you take it easy?"

Me: "I'M DOING RESEARCH FOR THE SITE! BACK OFF!" (polishes off beer, reaches for another)

After Sunday night's game, they'll need to stick these outside of University of Phoenix Stadium if people are looking for the road to the Super Bowl.

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The Arizona Cardinals, defending NFC Champions, are well on their way to winning their second consecutive NFC West title this year.

If you would have read me that sentence two years ago, I would have told you to send me the link to the rest of the article from The Onion, since it was obviously a joke. (If you had read me that sentence in 2001, I would have just assumed you knew nothing about the NFL since Arizona was obviously in the NFC East. You hypothetical dumbass from the past.)

But it's true. Arizona somehow made the Super Bowl last year. The same team that Tarvaris Jackson torched for an easy Minnesota 35-14 win in Arizona last year. And even after Vince Young gave Matt Leinart an acid flashback of the 2006 Rose Bowl last week, the Cardinals are still perched atop their division by two games. (Note: I totally didn't mean to make the lame "Cardinals/perched" pun there, but I'm not surprised that I accidentally did.) Technically, the road to the NFC Championship still runs through Glendale, AZ.

But only until Sunday night, if everything goes well for the Vikes. A win for the Purple means the road to Super Bowl XLIV takes a detour away from Arizona.

If the Vikings prevail in the desert, they'll guarantee that Arizona would get the third seed in the NFC at the very best, assuring the Cardinals will have to go on the road to make it back to the Super Bowl. (Yes, I realize they won a road game to get there last year, but they still won the NFC Championship at home. Just stay with my flimsy detour theme here. I posted a picture of a sign and everything.)

But just like creating real detours, we shouldn't expect this one to go smoothly. Yes, Favre is exponentially better than T-Jax. However, we're not the only team that has a Social Security-eligible quarterback that's still playing well. I know Kurt Warner missed last week's game, but I'd be surprised if he didn't play based on what I've heard this week. We have a strong core of receivers in El Sid, Percy, B-Twice, and Shank. But Larry Fitzgerald is still the best receiver in the game (you can mention Andre Johnson here, but he's tied with Fitz at the very best). Anquan Boldin and Steve Breaston are nothing to sneeze at either. If ever there was a game for Antoine Winfield to make his glorious return to the field, it's this one.

And would you look at this--the Cardinals even brought a little bit of a running game this year. They even average more than 2.3 yards a carry! Beanie Wells and Tim Hightower aren't greatest backfield committee ever (that's Tecmo Bowl Bo Jackson and Marcus Allen, of course) but they've added a dimension to Arizona that wasn't really there last year.

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Just for integrity's sake. I had another solid 11-5 performance in Week 12, so I just wanted to get my pick on record before tonight's game.

BILLS over Jets (in Toronto): I really don't feel comfortable picking either team. Does the Toronto crowd help or hurt the Bills? Is T.O. having a resurgence late in the year, or was it just two fluky performances against mediocre teams? Does the Sanchize play well or yet again turn into Dirty Sanchez? Will Thomas Jones score me a ton of points since I'm starting him on both of my fantasy teams?

Whatever. Who cares? The matchup is uglier than Marshawn Lynch. I have the NFL Network, yet I probably won't watch more than five minutes of this crapfest.

Why? Because there are much more important things for me to watch tonight. I have a DVR and a TiVo at my place, both of which will be working overtime tonight. "Community", "The Office", "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", and quite possibly the greatest slice of garbage television ever--the new MTV series that premieres tonight, "Jersey Shore".

Yes, you heard me right--"Jersey Shore". Based only off the promos for the show (I linked to it above), there is so much to simultaneously love and hate about this show. Juiced-up, over-tanned, over-waxed, Jag-bomb-shooting, fist-pumping Guidos that will fistfight over anything, especially who used the last of their hair gel? Check. Girls who all look like they came out of a tanning bed, hairspray, and lip gloss factory and inexplicably adore the aforementioned men? Check. Over the top "Joyzee" accents by everyone involved? Check. I can guarantee I will despise every person on the show for their warped sense of reality, yet equally love each person for their never-ending well of unintentional comedy. If you can't tell, I'm just a little excited for the train wreck to begin.

Oops...looks like I went a little long on stuff that has nothing to do with Thursday night's game. But I had to make sure I had 75 words right? :) So...yeah, enjoy Jets/Bills tonight. Or something.

Last week: 11-5

Season so far: 123-53