SB Nation User Blog: garth

New nickname for Heath Bell

garth — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 02:46:53 -0000

Given the fact that Todd Helton came to the plate with a chance to hit his way into his first-ever playoff game, and Heath brutally put him down, I propose that Heath now be known as Heath "No Justice" Bell. That is all.

I'm waiting to post this til the inning's over. I'm sick with worry.

Of course he destroys those guys.
this season WAS NOT LONG ENOUGH!

NO JUSTICE FOR THE ROCKIES!

Post-season Roster

garth — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 06:22:17 -0000

so who's eligible for the postseason roster on this squad? I'm pretty sure neither Jason Lane, Chase Headley, and Drew Macias are ineligible....
Here's the "active" roster according to padres.com. If it's accurate, and Bradley is out, Macowiak is hurt, and the guys I mentioned are ineligible, it looks like they're bringing 5 pure outfielders along.

I did a little looking and I guess playoff rosters won't be set for a few days. Here's one explanation I came across:

Playoff Rosters: Playoff rosters must be set at 25, not including disabled players, on August 31. For each player on the 60-day DL, teams may add players to the eligible list during the playoffs at the same position, provided that they were in the orginization on August 31. This is why some teams will bring up injured minor-league players and put them on the 60-day DL. Teams must choose 25 players from their playoff eligible list before each round of the playoffs.

One question I have is this: If a playoff roster is set at 25 "not including disabled players" (what? blind?), does that mean that once a player comes off the DL, they can return to the lineup at the expense of a position player? or are players on the roster at the end of the season set no matter what? I'm confused and my meds are wearing off.
Thanks for the helps.

Scariest thing

garth — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 06:15:05 -0000

right now, the Arizona Diamondbacks (long name) have the best record in the NL. They can win out and finish with 92 wins...this team that no one thought would do a thing in the NL oh, two months ago?
Does baseball have some great stories this year or what? Is the wild card the best thing ever? ESPN 93 Braves-Giants chase aside, MAN. This is some heady stuff.

are those your winning lottery numbers?

garth — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 19:05:05 -0000

I get that at least once a day when i wear my Gaslamp Ball t-shirt. It's a snazzy top so I wear it often, almost as much as my Combat Sambo shirt and my Meet the Feebles shirt.

So far I've gotten "Are those winning lottery numbers?" and "What the hell is on your shirt?" Not a lot of creative questions. One person guessed correctly what it was, quite nice. Anyone else had any interesting shirt talk? If this has already been covered, forget it.

okay, weird A-gon stat, comments

garth — Sat, 26 May 2007 06:36:53 -0000

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/splits?playerId=5405

They list 193 ABs for 07...and 189 as a left-handed batter? the big dog was batting righty? when?

also, i have to say, adrian needs a new nickname. I'm a complete hater of nicknames that are just variations on someone's name...A-gon, Kouz, etc. weak. no imagination. come on, where's the cool nicknames? are they just keeping them from us cuz adrian doesn't want us to know in the clubhouse his name is "Muffin" or something?

So, who thinks what? what's a good nickname for a current Pad? What about Mike Cameron? He deserves a nick, and Cammy is effin taken. No amount of nosecandy will erase the burned-in image in my head of Ken slowly falling backwards, completely under the control of gravity, and gunning a ball on a line across the diamond to beat his guy by a tenth of a step. but man! "M-Cam" would be the lamest nickname of all time.

One guy who SCREAMS for a nickname is Peavy. I call him the Bama Cannon when no one is listening. I don't even know if he's from alabama, but it got stuck in my head somewhere. I just checked, yes, he is. Now i trust the voices in my head more. Look out.

Robo-Khalil is pretty cool, but it still has his damn name in it.
I realize that this is not a super-researched diary, but hey, it's late. This is how i talk to my TV.

Where's our Spaceman? Shoeless? Catfish? Poopikins? Baseball nicknames that leap to mind are about as cool as a shampoo cocktail, which is not cool at all my friend.

By the way, "K-man" or "Kouz your daddy" are not good nicknames, but K-daddy might. Or might not.

Poll

Are baseball nicknames to boring and lame?

No, but your points intrigue me, and I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.

5 votes

Maybe. Isn't Maddux called "Mad Dog" and Wells called "Boomer? Those are cool, jerk.

10 votes

Yes.

7 votes

No, they're fine you freak.

2 votes

24 votes | Poll has closed

the last thing i'll say

garth — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 03:16:11 -0000

til next season. though we lost, the pads had a great season. they played some great ball, some not-so-great ball, and some inspired ball. i laughed, i cried, blah blah blah. and i did most of it here on GSB.
so thanks, gaslampball, dex, jbox, and all you kickass commenters, for a fun season. i'll miss ya til next summer.

A hypothetical (don't read if you're superstitious)

garth — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 07:02:43 -0000

I know I'm jumping the gun. I always do. I'll take the mockery if I'm wrong, fine. I have thick skin. But I just finished reading this, and I'm done with ESPN.

DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER if you are an idiot who believes in jinxes. Seriously.

I'm so through with hearing about The Great Mariano and the magic of Steinberger. He has purchased nearly every All-Star for the last 15 years, and that's gotten him 5 years of NO TITLES. And now RJ's back is aching. So screw you Yankees. Screw your Neo-Murderer's Row. Screw your checks and your TV-personlaity-cum-baseball-player crap. You'll end up the baseball equivalent of the Colts.

Bring it. I want a rematch. I can think of no better result than this, and I will pretty much pray to it like Cerrano prayed to Jobu:

Step 1: Destroy the Cardinals. Vengeance is delicious.

Step 2: Destroy the Dodgers (more vengeance is more deliciouser).

Step 3: Destroy the Yankees. Money can't buy you titles (all the time). *

That's what I want. I want to feel the life pulse slowly from the bloated, money-hungry corpse of the Yankee's evil empire. I want those storied franchises to fall like leaves in the chill San Diego autumn (ha ha ha! No, seriously, screw the rest of you cities, ha ha ha!). I want to hear tales of Brian Giles riding a charter jet to a Leno appearance bare-assed naked. I want Adrian Gonzales to hit a game winning line double off the Great Mariano, and watch the New Yorkers cry.
And more than anything else...I want to watch Trevor hoist that trophy, and all my underdog Pads to celebrate. Jake will have a whole offseason to heal, it's cool, wade in kid.

Side note:
Funny Onion Trevor story:

After the game, Hoffman wished his teammates good luck in the playoffs, and informed bystanders that he was "heading out to Cooperstown tonight if anyone wants to hear my speech."

*That is an almost verbatim repeat of a conversation me and a friend had today.

Poll

Garth, you're...

A partial jackass with an overactive cake-hole

2 votes

A visionary of future glory the likes of which we have never seen

3 votes

A pear

5 votes

A complete jackass

5 votes

A partial jackass with admirable stupidity

3 votes

18 votes | Poll has closed

espn red sox/linebrink

garth — Sun, 30 Jul 2006 03:52:35 -0000

i just heard buster olney on ESPN say the red sox are pursuing a multi-team deal that could get them scott linebrink. olney said "3 or 4 teams" would be involved.

anyone else hear this? unless the deal gives them a major-league power hitter or a top-flight pitcher/prospect, there's no damn reason to trade scotty. is he in his last year or something?

ACK! Padres being dissed in ESPN Poll

garth — Thu, 06 Jul 2006 21:49:57 -0000

Front page poll at espn.com has the stinking Dodgers being predicted to win the NL West 62% to 22% for the Pads, with 2,819 voting.

Go jump in there and freep that sucker. 16% said Colorado would win, so at least 78% of the current respondents are total jackasses.

Poll

Are online polls THE dumbest hing ever, or just ONE OF the dumbest things ever?

What's a poll?

1 votes

I've never been polled, but I hear it's wonderful

3 votes

After my last polling I fell asleep rapidly

3 votes

Dumbest

6 votes

One of

5 votes

18 votes | Poll has closed

Kelly Calabrese on NPR

garth — Wed, 14 Jun 2006 15:44:26 -0000

I had to get out of the car before her piece finished, and can't find it on the web yet, but will post it when i do.

I don't need no stinking extended copy.