SB Nation User Blog: ghtd36

Brewers to sign Kameron Loe

ghtd36 — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 18:21:22 -0000

Brewers to sign Kameron Loe

WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

/wtds

OT: Bengals WR Chris Henry dead at 26

ghtd36 — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 15:25:06 -0000

ESPN.com is reporting that Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chris Henry is dead at 26, "one day after suffering serious injuries upon falling out of the back of a pickup truck in what authorities describe as a domestic dispute with his fiancee."

To editorialize -- obviously this is a shame not only because he was so young, but because it seemed like he was finally getting his life together. Henry had a bunch of legal troubles early in his career, but it looked like maybe he had moved past them.

Sad news.

Request: Mizzou-KU game on DVD, plus how I plan on disliking Navy

ghtd36 — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 03:33:22 -0000

Does anyone have the means of obtaining the Mizzou-KU game and putting it on DVD for me? It's a Christmas present for a buddy of mine. I'll pay a fair amount for it.

Watch me fill the required space with awesomeness.

I'm trying very desperately to find a reason to dislike Navy for the upcoming Texas Bowl. And I think I found a way: I am going to pick a Navy player at random and make them the target of my playful scorn.

And the lucky selectee is...

Punter Kyle Delahooke, a 6-1, 207-pound junior from Sierra Madre, California.

Now, Midshipman Delahooke seems like a stand-up guy -- and hell, he's at the Naval Academy, so he's obviously one of the best humans we have in this country. All in all, Kyle Delahooke appears to have it together.

But you know who else had it together?

This guy.

And look what I did to him.

So prepare to be turned into a caricature of your normal, honorable, totally badass self, Midshipman Delahooke (ahem, sir). Because for the next three weeks, you get to be the embodiment of all of the forced dislike I have for Navy.

But yeah, that Mizzou-KU DVD would be great. Let me know. Kisses.

Poll

How do you feel about Navy punter Kyle Delahooke?

I anxiously await Bill's in-depth statistical analysis of this play.

ghtd36 — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:32:09 -0000

I anxiously await Bill's in-depth statistical analysis of this play.

Mizzou Basketball Preview (Part Six): Spirit Animals

ghtd36 — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 05:19:29 -0000

The other day, I walked through a Barnes & Noble and sat down in one of those big comfortable chairs. I’m not sure why they put those there; I’m a lot less likely to buy a book if I can sit down and read all The Far Side comics in it at the store, know what I’m saying?

Anyways, I happened to pick up a book on spirituality, namely shamanism. I leafed through this book and read all about animal spirits. Apparently, shamans believed that every person had a spirit animal, an animal spirit that lives inside each person adding to their power and acting as sort of a guardian angel. Basically, you get the wisdom of that animal, as well as some of its attributes.

I found all of this fascinating. I especially found it fascinating when I made this story up thirty seconds ago.

Atchison had some awesome intro. I wanted an awesome intro. So I made it up. Yep. That’s what you get for trusting me.

These are your 2009-10 Missouri Tigers Basketball Spirit Animals.

Laurence Bowers is the Sugar Glider

Sure, the sugar glider looks cute. In fact, you might even want to pet him and say, "Aww, he’s just a little guy!" But he has a secret explosiveness to him that most people don’t anticipate. He can go from a crouching position to soaring through the air quicker than you can blink. And you know what? If you don’t know he’s coming, he’s kind of scary. And awesome.

Marcus Denmon is the Roly Poly

It’s easy to forget the little roly poly sometimes, mainly because he doesn’t really do a whole heck of a lot. When intense situations tend to arise, he has the unfortunate instinct to curl up in a ball and just try to survive it. Every once in a while…a….roly….poly…can…hit…a…¾….court…shot? Let’s just move on.

Mike Dixon, Jr. is the Cheetah

An animal defined almost solely by speed, a lot of people look past the cheetah’s awareness. I mean, sure, it’s nice to go a million miles an hour, but if you can’t turn, what use are you? Because then, you’re Darrius Heyward-Bey. And nobody wants to be Darrius Heyward-Bey. No, Junior M.D. is not Darrius Heyward-Bey. He’s a freakin’ cheetah.

Kim English is the Jackal

Undersized and often overlooked, the jackal is not to be messed with. He is a merciless killer who is happy to hunt on his own and scavenge others’ work. He’s quick with his work: before you know it, you’re dead. Like, dead dead. D-E-D dead. He normally works alone, but occasionally assembles a small pack, to help with his ruthless murder. Always alert, the jackal can be called on to finish something whenever. And when he‘s locked in, he doesn‘t miss.

Steve Moore is the Warthog

A bruising battler, the most admirable trait of a warthog is its ability to mark its territory and hold its ground. And he’s got horns right by his mouth. I’d give my left pinky for horns by my mouth. Steve Moore probably wouldn’t, because he uses his hands to pay for college. But yeah, horns by the mouth and marking its territory. Something like that.

Miguel Paul is the Moth

Another creature defined my constant movement, the moth is a strange thing. When it’s got direction -- like when it’s flying toward the light -- it’s focused and efficient in getting there. But a lot of the time, it just flutters around like it has no idea what in the world it’s doing. But FLUTTER FLUTTER FLUTTER.

Keith Ramsey is the Giraffe

Tall but surprisingly agile, the giraffe is not one to be pushed around. Did you know that giraffes swing their necks at other giraffes to defend themselves? It’s true! YouTube it!

Justin Safford is the Bumblebee

Ah, the regal bumblebee. It’s always hard at work, doing all the little things that most people never notice. See that flower over there? Pollinated by a bumblebee. See that nectar that those other bees are drinking? Fetched by the bumblebee. See that compact car turning into a robot? Bumblebee. You’re welcome, you ignorant sluts.

Tyler Stone is the Fossa

I don’t know much about the fossa, but it looks kind of badass. I don’t know much about Tyler Stone, but he looks kind of badass. Next slide, please.

Jarrett Sutton is the Dingo

Everyone likes the dingo because nobody’s ever gets to see the dingo. But if they did see a ding, they’d discover that the dingo is a bloodthirsty vicious killer who will kill your mother without blinking. Then, it will roll over and ask for a belly rub. I feel very good about this comparison.

Zaire Taylor is the Hyena

The hyena will smile as you run away from him. The hyena will smile as he chases you down. The hyena will smile as he quickly and remorselessly ends your dreams. The hyena will smile, satisfied.

J.T. Tiller is the Dung Beetle

The dung beetle is not sexy. Like, at all. While hyenas are cute, jackals are remorseless killers, dingos are loveable but HOLY CRAP KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME, dung beetles are workmanlike and sort of disgusting. They do some of the least sexy work in the animal kingdom. They just roll poop. Over and over. Rolling poop, rolling poop, rolling poop. But you know what? The dung beetle is really, really good at rolling poop. So good that you say, "Wow, I can’t believe how good he is at rolling poop. It’s not fun, but it’s important, and wow, he’s really good at it." So I say, keep rolling, poop roller. I notice you, even if you do all the stuff that won’t get you on Animal Poop SportsCenter.

John Underwood is the Electric Eel

A very skinny member of the animal kingdom, he hangs out in the darkest nether regions of the ocean. But if given the chance…he could SHOCK you!

Poll

Who is your favorite spirit animal?

The Sugar Glider (Laurence Bowers)

28 votes

The Roly Poly (Marcus Denmon)

3 votes

The Cheetah (Michael Dixon, Jr.)

14 votes

The Jackal (Kim English)

21 votes

The Warthog (Steve Moore)

1 votes

The Moth (Miguel Paul)

10 votes

The Giraffe (Keith Ramsey)

4 votes

The Bumblebee (Justin Safford)

7 votes

The Fossa (Tyler Stone)

7 votes

The Dingo (Jarrett Sutton)

16 votes

The Hyena (Zaire Taylor)

23 votes

The Dung Beetle (JT Tiller)

39 votes

The Electric Eel (John Underwood)

0 votes

173 votes | Poll has closed

Alternative Big XII Power Rankings, Edward Norton Edition

ghtd36 — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:36:31 -0000

Power rankings are all the rage right now. But most suck. Why? Because they’re boring.

No, no, here at Rock M Nation, we need to have a much better system of power rankings. Much more…stupid.

As such, this week, we need to use Edward Norton.

I don’t think there’s much debate that the Edward Norton is the single greatest actor that has ever lived. Marlon Brando? Chump change. Humphrey Bogart? This is me rolling my eyes. Cary Grant, James Stewart, Clark Gable? What is this, amateur hour?

So, I’ve compiled my Big XII power rankings, and assigned each team a character that Edward Norton portrayed. And away we go.

1) Texas
Character: The Incredible Hulk, The Incredible Hulk

Seemingly unstoppable, the Hulk is one of the biggest badasses around. Whenever he wants (and sometimes when they don’t want), they can turn it on and dominate. Problem is, he’s not invincible. There’s a way to defeat the Longhorns (not turning the ball over, establishing some semblance of the run, sitting two safeties deep) just like there’s a way to defeat the Hulk (messing with his genes, or lots of tanks, one of the two). Either way, it’s probably best just to stay out of his way.

Nos. 2-12 after the jump.

2) Oklahoma State
Character: Eisenheim the Illusionist, The Illusionist

Sure, Eisenheim is pretty good at what he does. But as the tagline of the movie says, "Nothing is what it seems." It is very possible that it’s all smoke and mirrors, and the Cowboys are just trying to escape on a train out of town with Jessica Biel. Not that I would blame them.

3) Oklahoma
Character: Derek Vinyard, American History X

Let’s get this out of the way: THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH NEO-NAZIISM. There. Said. No, Derek Vinyard was a guy you absolutely did not want to mess with a while ago, but he has since softened since he got out of the joint. Now, he’s still the kind of guy you want no piece of, especially when he feels DISRESPECTED, but without the swagger that he used to have, you can’t take him as seriously. He’s become a lot more like everyone else.

4) Kansas
Character: Steve Frazelli, The Italian Job

Steve is a solid villain who is actually winning (has the gold) for the majority of the movie, but does anyone, at any point in the movie, really think that he’s going to come away with the gold in the end? Beyond that, Kansas is here because someone has to be here, much like that Norton took this role only because he had a contractual obligation he had to fulfull.

5) Texas Tech
Character: Will Graham, Red Dragon

Graham is an obviously flawed person, but is scary in his own right. I mean, the dude can relate to serial killers. That’s not cool. He could snap and kill anyone at any time. That’s not the kind of person you necessarily want to mess with. That said, he spends most of his time being harmless as opposed to becoming a merciless killing machine. Tech also gets the Graham nod because their coach is a lunatic.

6) Kansas State
Character: Sheldon "Smoochy" Mopes, Death To Smoochy

Big. Purple. I mean, really, does anyone take this guy seriously?

7) Iowa State
Character: Nameless protagonist, Fight Club

If anything, the only reason we pay attention to this guy is because he’s new, sort of interesting and we know nothing about him. After a while, he’s certainly got the potential to be serious threat to others. But in the end, he’s so crazy that you really don’t know what’s going to happen. Not that that’s a bad thing.

8) Nebraska
Character: Les "Worm" Murphy, Rounders

Worm has to make up for the transgressions of his past before anybody respects him again. So far, things aren’t going great. He lives and dies by the "big play," and considering his current situation, he’s been doing a lot of dying.

9) Missouri
Character: Father Brian Finn, Keeping The Faith

Things have been good for Father Finn in the past couple years -- after all, he’s known that all this stuff in his life was the way he was supposed to work for a while. But hiccups and changes in recent days have led to a lot of questions being asked. In the end, it’s probably for the best that he just persevere through these questioning times. But that doesn’t make the questions any easier to answer.

10) Texas A&M
Character: Aaron Stampler, Primal Fear

It’s crazy guy in a fight syndrome. There’s something not right about Stampler from the get-go…but you can’t put your finger on it. He looks like, no, absolutely not, there’s no way that he could have killed that priest. Right? RIGHT? Then he snaps, goes crazy, looks like a total sociopath and looks capable of murdering anyone. But then, pow, right back to the normal stuff. I mean…this dude scares me, but not too much.

11) Colorado
Character: Alan Isaacman, The People vs. Larry Flynt

I mean, really…are you sure you still want to defend that guy?

12) Baylor
Character: King Baldwin of Jerusalem, Kingdom of Heaven

Respect was never the problem for King Baldwin. People love the man, a lot, especially at the beginning. But ever since he came down with leprosy, it’s hard to take him really seriously. He’s just kind of treading water, since his body is failing him. But boy, do we feel bad for him.

Happy 71st birthday, Doc Brown.

ghtd36 — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 14:45:06 -0000

Happy 71st birthday, Doc Brown.

Missouri's Manchurian Candidate scenario nearing glorious completion

ghtd36 — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 20:57:22 -0000

Missouri's Manchurian Candidate scenario nearing glorious completion

That's to say, Mike Alden has been named President of the Division 1A Athletic Directors' Association.

Congratulations to Alden on what is clearly a big honor.

(Muahahahaha...)

Tracy Jordan finally weighs in on Blaine Gabbert's ability to throw long.

ghtd36 — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:26:21 -0000

Tracy Jordan finally weighs in on Blaine Gabbert's ability to throw long.

Sept. 19 Night Shift Open Thread

ghtd36 — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 00:12:51 -0000

Know what would be fun? An open thread to discuss the night games tonight.

The big one is Texas Tech traveling to Austin to face Texas, but there are some other good ones going on, including Cincinnati vs. Oregon State, LSU vs. UL-Lafayette, BYU vs. Florida State and TCU taking on my mom's alma mater, Southwest Texas State University (or Texas State, if you hate tradition).

Discuss.