Bill Simmons put on his Celtics-colored glasses again today and churned out a color-by-numbers post on Grantland he christened "The Footnote Title".

Spoiler Alert: Simmons is not kind to the Rockets' championship teams. He lists the 1994 Rockets as the biggest "footnote" of all championship teams. For the sole reason being that Michael Jordan retired the previous year. Yup, of all the analysis for the previous 19 teams, he truncates the analysis for his #1 team and just declares it so. Lovely. Here's his conclusion:

-----

1. 1994 Rockets
What Happened: Houston squeaked out the title by stealing Game 7 in Phoenix in Round 2, throttling the Jazz in five, then barely eking out an ugly seven-game war against the Knicks that we'll remember for OJ's car chase and that's about it.

The Footnote: David Stern suspended Jordan for gambling Jordan retired before the season, leaving behind a talented Bulls team that added Toni Kukoc and Steve Kerr, had Scottie Pippen headed toward a career year and cranked out 55 wins anyway. Chicago's best three guards were B.J. Armstrong, Kerr and Pete Myers that year. Throw MJ in there and … I mean … is that suddenly a 70-win team? 72 wins? 74 wins? How high would you go?

The Verdict: Hakeem the Dream deserved to win at least one championship. (Look at this clip, for god's sake.) But winning it the season after the league's greatest player ever briefly and inexplicably retired at the peak of his powers? Come on. That's earning a 48-point WTF footnote. At least.

-----

Amazingly, Simmons gets through the entire 20 team list without a single reference to The Karate Kid or Rocky or the Wire. He does, however, spend an inordinate amount of time waxing nostalgically about the Celtics and Bill Russell and he defers greatly to the 1990s Jordan-era Chicago Bulls teams. He also name-drops repeatedly to Bob Ryan, as if I'm going to just accept that guy as an expert because he is also a Celtics fan who actually got to see Bill Russell play.

The problem with this entire list is that any team that pre-dates the ABA/NBA merger should have far bigger "footnotes" than any post-merger team, including the 1994 Rocket team

(I'd go into more detail here about why the 1994 Rockets would have destroyed Jordan's Bulls. But I already did that. Four freaking years ago. No need to repeat myself.)

Instead, let us list all the reasons the Bill Russell era Celtics teams should have giant-sized footnotes or asterisks or whatever fancy symbol is used to call into question historical results that have been white-washed by history.

1. There were only 8 freaking teams when Bill Russell broke into the league.

2. Racism. There was lots of it. Quotas were not official but were firmly in place.

3. Seriously. 8 teams. Eight, dude.

4. Only 14 teams by 1968, when the Celtics run was over.

5. Basketball shoes, training and overall technology was rather primitive in that era.

6. No International Players in the NBA. None.

7. All the truly good athletes were playing baseball in the 60s and 70s.

8. Bob Cousy would be a 12th man on an NBA Team today.

9. Players did not make a lot of money and could not spend entire offseasons honing their game. Imagine if LeBron had to get a 2nd job in a factory.

10. Oh, yeah, no salary cap. Red Auerbach could throw money at players and cigars with no penalties from anyone. Roger Goodell was not alive yet to fine him. There's a reason the Celtics got all the good players and everyone else seemed to end up with scrubs. Those 50s and 60s Championship era Celtics teams were good but they had extreme control over a tightly-regimented system. A system that only had eight freaking teams competing for the rings. THAT is what I call a footnote.

Yet the 1994 Rockets are tainted because we just presume that Jordan would win, even though his Horace Grant-era teams oftend struggled to win and barely got by the Knicks and Pacers on a few occasions. Okay, sure.

Revisionist history is awesome, huh?

On Monday evening, the Kentucky Wildcats won the NCAA Men's basketball championship. The result was not surprising given that the Wildcats were by far the most talented team in college basketball and had the most dominant player in the game in Anthony Davis. Davis and upwards of five more of his teammates are expected to declare their intentions to enter the 2012 NBA Draft sometime in the next 7-10 days. This is also not surprising.

A significant amount of the credit for Kentucky's success goes to the coach, John Calipari, for being able to recruit impact-level freshman players year after year as if he has a hidden factory cloning the Michigan Fab Five. Nonetheless, because John Calipari is seen by the media as a smarmy used car salesman type of coach and recruiter, his tactics are routinely chastised. No one doubts Calipari's skill as a recruiter. The criticism is instead directed on his willingness to exploit the "one and done" rule put into place by the prior NBA collective bargaining agreement. Until Monday, many claimed that the increased practice of attending one year of college with no intention of ever being a sophomore undermined the purity of college athletics and also harmed the ability for big-time basketball institutions to win at a consistent level. Calipari's model essentially destroyed that notion this year.[1] Once again, there has been a call-to-arms to get rid of the "one and done" rule and allow players to go straight from high school to the NBA.

This would be a huge mistake.

But for Kevin Garnett not being able to get a high enough score on his ACT/SAT when he was in high school, this might not have been an issue though...

Follow me after the jump to see how and why the NBA is a lesser product due to the influx of high school players and college freshman into the draft.

[1] It would have done the same back in 2008 had Derrick Rose and Joey Dorsey been able to make free throws. Of course, because I had money riding on Memphis winning that game... they were doomed.

Continue reading this post »

Heading into tonight's game against the Memphis Grizzlies, the Rockets sport a record of 27-24. That mark is currently good for a tie for the eighth and final spot in the Western Conference playoff race. If you consider that Kyle Lowry has been out for a few weeks now, and that the Rockets have been playing banged-up and undersized most of the year, this is rather impressive. It is just another year of the Rockets playing the role of "plucky overachiever." Of course, it should be noted that I am firmly in the camp that believes that just making the playoffs is by no means parade-worthy. You compete to win it all. Kiss the rings and such. No one remembers who finished in fifth place in 2006 without having to consult an Interwebz^TM search engine.

Meanwhile, the Rockets' front office continues its dogged pursuit of a legitimately elite superstar player, preferably a center. Though after the Veto, I am not so sure that Daryl Morey is going to be too picky if he can find a forward that can consistently put up 20 and 10 and lead the team to the Promised Land. As much as I love the guy, Luis Scola is not that player. Nor is Patrick Patterson. Or anyone else presently on the roster. On a related note: screw you, Dwight Howard. Make up your damn mind and stop making LeBron James look sympathetic by way of comparison.

But I digress.

Though this is where we have a major dilemma. Dating back to the 1970s, the NBA has demonstrated that it takes a "legitimately elite superstar" player to have any plausible hopes of winning the Championship.[1] Even in a strike/lockout-shortened season.[2] Similarly, the Houston Rockets were able to take advantage of this fact in the glory years of 1994 and 1995, riding the coattails of Robert Horry Hakeem Olajuwon to two NBA Championships.

And thus we have the point of this post. As fans of the Houston Rockets, we remain spoiled by the career of Hakeem Olajuwon. Nearly 20 years after the prime of his career, Olajuwon continues to cast a large shadow over the franchise. It is not his fault in any way. The issue is that every Rockets team that suits up will forever be compared to the Olajuwon-era teams. (Just look at the reaction the "Team of the 90's" got last week at the Toyota Center and you should understand why.)

The question we have to answer is: how do we as fans measure the success of the team when the roster lacks a top-5 or top-10 player? Even when he was playing out of his mind at the beginning of the year, Kyle Lowry was not even in the top 10 best players in the NBA. Also, without Yao or McGrady to pin the team's hopes on, how should we grade the job that Les Alexander, Daryl Morey and Kevin McHale are doing with this assorted collection of talent?

Follow me after the jump to see my more complete thoughts...

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While the news of today is that Carmelo Anthony returned to the Knicks’ lineup only to indirectly create a glitch in the Linsanity phenomenon (Nets beat Knicks behind 38 from Deron Williams), there still was no stopping Jeremy Lin, at least on a statistical box-score stuffing level. He racked up a near triple-double with 21, 9 and 7. Of course, he only had three turnovers this time, way below his recent average.

As Stan Marsh’s karate teacher would say: he racks disaprine.[1]

Now, like Deron Williams, I am relatively bored by the whole pop culture fascination with Jeremy Lin. He is simply a basketball player. A pretty good one by all recent account, and he definitely is an interesting story, but it helps to maintain a little bit of perspective. Just a little. No, I do not say this because my beloved Rockets had him on the roster only to cut him loose just a couple months ago. And no, I do not even think it was a "mistake" to cut him given the information known at the time. And no, it is not because every Lin win is costing the Rockets a better draft spot – though that is annoying.

I say this because there are far more interesting things we can be discussing other than whose couch Mr. Lin slept on last weekend.

Namely: what is Jeremy Lin’s trade value today?

Presumably, even with the frenzy of Linsanity, the Knicks cannot deem him untouchable. For instance, if the Miami Heat were to offer up LeBron for Lin and Stoudemire, not even the James Dolan/Isiah Thomas duo would hesitate to pull the trigger. Thus, there has to be an acceptable threshold of pain whereby the Knicks would sacrifice this current media sensation for the future good of the franchise.

Right?

Let the fun begin: after the jump.

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Late on Monday evening, I did something I told myself I would never do:

I created a Twitter account. Yes, @grungedave is now a thing.

I kinda sorta hate myself for doing this, but... hey, there's important people to follow. Some of them even have the ability to break news. And some are just awesome like Arian Foster. And I feel I have been missing out.

With the Rockets playing the Spurs yet again tonight, I figured this might be an excellent opportunity to test out the limits of this new social media network. How many angry tweets does it take to break the system? If the Rockets continue to play shoddy defense and miss free throws, I'll quickly forget they won 9 of 10. Equally relevant, how many times will Timmah and Frenchy piss me off? And how can I adequately express my emotional state in 140 characters or less?

Just the thing that might work better on Twitter than it would in a comments section here (maybe).

Oh, and GO ROCKETS! (In this weird season, the Rockets suddenly have just as good a chance as anyone to win the West. Even if it won't count for anything in the end.)

* also, if anyone has good suggestions on NBA players/media/personnel worth following, post some names for me in the comments. Thanks!

As a preliminary apology to the proprietors of 360 Sports Lounge: I am sorry, but we cannot watch the game at your bar. The good guys (nor any other Houston team) have ever won a game when there has been a sponsored or scheduled game-watching party at that establishment. I still blame the Colts game on the Curse of 360.

That being said -- where is the alternative place to watch the Ravens get f--kstomped by the Houston Juggernaut? Watching the game at home by myself might be the socially responsible thing to do given my propensity to yell and scream things that kids should never hear. But that's just not going to happen this week. It's the PLAYOFFS! And I want to know where the BRB gang plans to meet up. Again...... not at 360!

The Rockets game was tough to watch last night. Granted, the Lakers in L.A. are always a tough test for the good guys, but here are five reasons, excuses and/or random observations that I think contributed to the loss:

1. Kobe Bryant is (still) good. At basketball that is.

Granted, he may not be a good person, but "good people" are rarely successful in hyper competitive environments. No one has ever accused Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Roger Clemens, Ray Lewis, Floyd Mayweather or a whole host of other champion athletes of being good "people" generally. It's actually a detriment to their job.

2. Luis Scola is not a center.

This is now the second time Scola has been pressed into center duty against a true 7'+ center in crunch time. It did not work out very well against the Magic. And it went horribly awry last night against Andrew Bynum (who is desperately trying to get Kobe's love and attention by playing better).

3. Kevin Martin is not happy it's 2012.

A year ago, the mere sight of Kevin Martin set the referees' whistles all atwitter. Then the NBA emphasized certain parts of the game and dictated that the referees not blow the whistle in certain situations. All of the situations where Speed Racer had previously thrived. Now he's going to the basket, trying to draw contact, and is hearing nothing but the sound of the ball being thrown back in his face. This is problematic. Especially since he's having trouble consistently hitting open shots on the road.

4. Cindy Crawford: still attractive.

Cindy Crawford may be 45 years old. She's still otherworldly attractive. As demonstrated last night when she sat next to the Rockets' bench and proceeded to distract the entire roster during the game.

(Also, when looking up Ms. Crawford's age, I realized she shares the same birthday as Kurt Cobain. Odd.)

5. Kevin McHale's Purple Tie (not pictured only because I can't find the picture)

The Lakers were the home team last night. Their colors are Forum Blue and Gold. For those that are not color blind, "Forum Blue" = purple. So....... for some completely unexplainable reason, Kevin McHale decided to accentuate his sideline attire with a purple goddamn tie.

That only served to piss off the basketball gods. Next thing you know, the box score reads 108-99.


*** also, bonus reason: yesterday was January 3rd. Houston sports teams do not fare well on the road on January 3rd. It usually ends badly.

MEMORANDUM

To: Chandler Parsons

From: The Dream Shake

Re: Your Jersey #

___________________

Dear Chandler,

We are all happy to have you as a member of the Houston Rockets. As the 38th overall selection in the 2011 NBA Draft, we do not find it too early to consider you yet another Daryl Morey "steal" of a non-lottery pick. You have even managed to outperform Marcus Morris so far in the eyes of Kevin McHale and pretty much anyone who (a) is not blind and/or (b) did not attend the University of Kansas.

In short, we like you and we really appreciate your contributions so far.

There is just one problem. And it's kind of a big deal.

It's about your uniform.

While I know you are quite fond of #25, it does not belong to you.

That's Robert Horry's number. We kindly have to request that you give it back. For it is rather insulting to Mr. Horry for you to walk around wearing his number, but unable to wear any championship rings as an accessory to it. If you did not know, Horry has seven of his own. Seven! Two with the Rockets. (Note: # of rings the Rockets had before Big Shot Rob? 0. # of rings the Rockets have after Big Shot Rob? 0. Sense a theme?)

So, please, for the sake of all that is good and right and holy -- find a new number.

Because Houston Rockets #25 will always belong to Robert Horry. You know, this guy:

Mr. Parsons, you are no Robert Horry. At least not yet.

Give him back his jersey! ***

*** which, by the way, should have been hanging from the rafters of the Toyota Center a long, long time ago.

In the last week...

Albert Pujols followed the Astros to the AL (he just gets a one-year head start);
June Jones abandoned my school only for his potential new employer to pull the offer on him;
and now the NBA has decided to play fantasy sports in the real world by vetoing a perfectly good trade.

There's one image that keeps coming to mind:

Beyond that I have a few thoughts on the subject, but since they might become NSFW, let's bury them under the jump. Follow me if you dare.

Continue reading this post »

There are a few things we Rockets fans can agree on:

Hakeem is the greatest center of his generation; 
the Utah Jazz suck;
Rudy T needs to be elected to the HOF this year;
Robert Horry is the greatest role player of all time and should never have been traded for Barkley;

oh, and...

the 1998/99 NBA never happened.  You hear me?  It never happened.

The Rockets never traded for Scottie Pippen.
I repeat: 
Scottie Pippen is a horrible person and never, ever played for the Rockets.
Also, the Spurs did not win their first ring until 2003.

(Never happened I tell ya!!!)

Now, with that out of the way, why is that relevant to anything taking place today?  Follow the yellow brick road to find the answer.  Also known as "the Jump".

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After talks broke down today and players have been warned that it may take half the season before things get resolved (if not longer), here's my prediction for when things get resolved.  Okay, in actuality, here's Phil Connors' prediction paraphrased to meet our topical purposes:

"You want a prediction about the [NBA lockout], you're asking the wrong [bloggers]. I'll give you a [lockout] prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life."

With the way the NBA financial system currently is set up....... I just do not see NBA basketball being played for a long, long time.  Yao might have to retire again in 2015 just to remind us that he already retired way back in 2011!

Oh, man, this winter is going to suck without the NBA.  Just puts more pressure on the Texans!

In one month and six days, it will have been a decade since the tragedy of 9/11.  It will also mark the day our Houston Texans will host the Indianapolis Colts to kick-off the post-lockout 2011 National Football League season.  I cannot think of a better way to mark the anniversary of that tragedy by honoring the lives of those lost, while also boisterously sticking it to the terrorists.  Bring on the NFL!!!  America, f—k yeah!

But let’s get down to business.  It wouldn’t be a real NFL season if random people were not writing things on the Internet in August to mark their line in the sand for future bragging rights if/when they hit the long-shot odds and accurately predict a team’s record come January.  This is one of those posts.

Now, MDC has already done a wonderful game-by-game breakdown of the Texans’ 2011 schedule and projected results.  (He’s surprisingly optimistic given the Texans’ recent history of soul-crushing disappointment, but that’s a concern for another day.)  Today I am here to correct the errors of MDC’s ways while also introducing the reading audience to the most troubling paradox of the upcoming NFL Football season:

That the Texans will win the AFC South with a 9-7 record.

And why this is a very, very bad thing.

Intrigued yet?  Or are just ready to call me a babbling idiot in the comments (which I’m sure you’ll do anyway.)

Follow me after the jump! 

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"For many years, the collectively bargained system—which has given the players union enhanced free agency and capped the amount that owners spend on salaries—has worked enormously well for the NFL, for NFL players, and for NFL fans."

Care to guess who wrote the above statement?  I bet you would be stunned to learn that it was owner mouthpiece and disciplinarian extraordinaire Roger Goodell.  Even crazier?  He wrote it just this past April.  For the Wall Street Journal.  It’s true.

The lockout is still in place only because the owners decided a couple years ago that if the players were happy with the current labor situation – that must mean it is bad for the owners.  Now, that may seem overly simplified but it is nevertheless the entire foundation for the owner’s position.

 As of this writing, the morning of July 22, 2011, the players/NFLPA have been presented with an offer that has been approved by 31 NFL teams.[1]  The problem is that the players never agreed to the final proposal.  The owners are parading this around as an "agreement" even though it lacks a basic element of a contract:  a meeting of the minds.  Now, to be fair, the owners are making a smart PR move because the average American just wants to watch football.  Politics and economics be damned, there better be NFL games every Sunday from September through January.  Otherwise there will be hell to pay.  Any player who objects should just shut up and take it.  I mean, they all make millions of dollars to play a game, right?  Who are they to demand more money? 

Here’s the problem.  The average NFL career is something like 3.5 years.  The average salary for an NFL player per year is $1.9 million.  Yes, I know this sounds like a lot of money, but we’ll get to that in a bit.  The minimum salary was $325,000 for 2010.  As you might imagine, a healthy majority of the NFL players make right at or just above the minimum salary.[2]  Which is why the median salary is $770,000.  The Peyton Mannings, Tom Bradys and Drew Breeses of the NFL world are the exception and not the norm.  And even they are not what Chris Rock would call "wealthy".  They may have 8 and 9 figure contracts spread out over multiple years on paper – but the only number that matters to them is the "guaranteed" money.  No one ever makes 100% of the possible value of the contract because the owners are smart enough to cut any player making too much and avoid paying the truly big bucks.  With no penalty.

On the flip side, did you realize that 352 players were placed on injured reserve in 2010?  That averages out to more than 10 players per team that were severely injured and unable to perform their job.  Meanwhile, it is not like the NFL has the best Workers Compensation program.  Anyone who puts on an NFL uniform is risking their health just to do their job.  Not to mention the fact that the lifespan for former NFL players is significantly less than the average American male.  As Count Rugen once told Prince Humperdinck – if you haven’t got your health, then you haven’t got anything.  Well…….. for an NFL player, this is incredibly true.

Making matters worse is this fallacious premise that the NFL is filled with a bunch of millionaires playing a game.  Let us now destroy this well-accepted myth.

Continue reading this post »

Oh, Happy Day! 

Shaquille O'Neal has announced his retirement. 

Alas, I'm sure there will be another lazy, oversized 30 year old going on 13 to take his place...

/Team Kobe

All joking aside, Shaq was the last active member of the 1992 draft class.  The same group that brought us Alonzo Mourning, Baby Jordan, Latrell Sprewell, Christian Laettner and some guy by the name of Robert Horry.

For a guy named "Solomon", Jerome is rapidly devolving from a thoughtful and witty journalist to a one-note hack job.  Considering this city is already subjected to Richard Justice, it's almost too much to handle.  Today's diatribe is yet another attempted hatchet job on Daryl Morey - albeit one disguised as a column on the hiring of Kevin McHale.

First things first, I am not a fan of the McHale hiring.  I wanted Mario Elie.  Even Dwane Casey would have struck me as a more inspired hiring.  Nevertheless, McHale did fit my criteria - he's not a re-tread, he's highly respected by other players around the NBA, and he is someone who obviously gets along with our GM.  Solomon, however, is taking the collective public "huh?" that has been uttered in response to the McHale hiring news... and he's run with it.  It's rather shameful.

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Coach Sleepy is gone.  He's not walking through that door.  Not sober, at least.  Meanwhile, Daryl Morey and the Rockets continue to search for their next head coach.  Matter of fact, I think our boy genius GM is in Hollywood interviewing Whoopie Goldberg for the position today - hey, she was in that Eddie movie, right?  If you can get the Knicks to win anything that has to be recognized.  Personally, I think we've already found our candidate.  Along those lines, here are a few factors I am personally looking for in the next coach:

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By now, we are all aware that Rick Adelman will not be returning as the Head Coach of the Houston Rockets next year.  Daryl Morey announced yesterday that Adelman and the team have mutually parted ways.  It was quite the professional way to handle things, especially since the public handling of this could have become very ugly and divisive.

Even li'l Dickie Justice agreed that the split was "amicable" -- but more on this later.

First, a few comments on our now dearly departed Coach Sleepy.  For those that may have been confused, I was not one of the ones hoping and praying that Adelman not return.  Adelman has been one hell of a good coach for the last couple of years given the talent level on the roster.  He won 40+ games every year with this team, even when Yao Ming's feet refused to cooperate and when Tracy McGrady refused to play upon advice from his gynecologist.  We do need to remember one thing though - and this is key:  Adelman came here to coach a contender.  He was here to coach a team built around Yao and McGrady (for better or for worse). 

Unfortunately, Yao and McGrady played barely one full season of games together.  This was not Adelman's fault... well... maybe.  I still think there should have been an investigation when Yao broke his foot against the Lakers.  Adelman was playing Yao wayyyyy too many minutes and kept sending him out there with "sore" feet.  Somehow that's been overlooked and we've moved on.

In the end, Adelman was stuck playing undersized centers and unathletic swingmen.  And he got more out of a team led by Shane Battier and Chuck Hayes than anyone could imagine.  The playoffs were a pipe dream the last two years once Yao was not available.  Thus, the last two years were by no means failures and instead were a testament to what good coaching can do for a team.  There's a reason Phil Jackson is worth 8 figures a year.

The problem, however, is that Rick Adelman had tunnel vision.  He was coaching to win and win now.  Normally, this is an admirable goal.  The current iteration of the Rockets just happen to be one of the exceptions to the rule.  The Rockets found themselves stuck in neutral two years ago.  A mediocre team with no hopes of winning either a Championship of the lottery.  Daryl Morey noticed this problem early on, and quickly began re-structuring the roster on the fly... bringing in players such as Kyle Lowry, Kevin Martin, Chase Budinger, Patrick Patterson, Brad Miller, Courtney Lee, and on and on.  Yes, he also brought in Brent Barry and Trevor Ariza and Aaron Brooks and he traded away talent like Nicolas Batum for Ron Artest (and Joey Dorsey!).  Now, in a vacuum, this is a smart strategy.  The problem is that Rick Adelman is not the kind of coach that meshes well with a rebuilding project.  In short, Adelman does not like playing inexperienced players.  Ever.  Conflict was inevitable.

Even li'l Dickie indicated that Adelman was none too pleased that Morey traded away Rafer freakin' Alston.  That alone drops Adelman's value immensely.  Though I'm not sure how Justice was privy to such internal discussions.  Since neither Morey nor Adelman were talking about him, I'm surprised Richard Justice even took notes.

but I digress...

While the recent arguments here have devolved into a "Tastes Great"/"Less Filling" debate whereby you were either on the "Play T-Will and Thabeet!" or the "No!  We gotta make a push for the playoffs!" side... I do believe it's clear now that Daryl Morey was on Team Thabeet/Williams the whole time, while Adelman had no interest in trying to accommodate new players into a system he knew was only going to be in place for 20-30 games.  This is why the two reached an inevitable impasse and the Rockets are now looking for their next coach.

Anyone who suggests that Daryl Morey should have been the one to be fired is unable to see the forest for the trees.  In the modern NBA, you do not win without an established superstar.  You just don't.  Having lost Yao and McGrady, the Rockets needed to acknowledge this fact and do everything they could to acquire said superstar.  (And no, neither Kevin Martin or Luis Scola will ever be on that LeBron/Kobe/Wade/Duncan level.)  If the Rocket have to suffer through a couple 20-62 years ... so be it.  It must be done.  In the meantime, Morey is stockpiling nothing but assets.  The Rockets have the best collection of young talent in the entire league.  They simply are missing that transcendent player.  This is something that is out of both Morey's and Adelman's control at the moment. 

-- This is where I beg and plead Dwight Howard to come to Houston when his contract is up --

Neither Adelman nor Morey have done a bad job.  In fact, BOTH have been outstanding and we remain lucky to have at least one of them still working for the team.  It's just that they had a different vision for what needs to be done in the immediate future.  And Les Alexander sided with the GM.  (Who is a genius... or something.)

I will now take this time to thank Rick Adelman for four years of excellent service.  Simultaneously, I will beg and plead Les and Daryl to not replace him with Mike Brown.  Please, please, please, for the love of anything that is sacred and holy -- DO NOT HIRE MIKE BROWN!!!

[note:  Houston signed Marcus Cousin to a non-guaranteed contract today]

scene:  Daryl Morey's secret lair deep inside the Toyota Center, right after the Rockets beat the Clippers without most of their key players.  The team was eliminated from the playoffs earlier in the week... and our boy genius GM is alone but in a, umm, mood. 

Daryl Morey: [to himself] What a great win!  Did you see that block Patrick Patterson had on Blake Griffin?  Suck on that, Sooner!  And you fell down, too!  Ha!  Loser.

/checks the standings, see the Rockets still trail Memphis and New Orleans in the playoff race

Daryl:  Well, s--t.  Just when our guys start playing like champs, we literally run out of games.  And now we might soon be without a coach.  And Yao.  And Chuck Hayes, though that mofo better come back with everything we've done for him here in Houston.  At least I got rid of McGrady... so I still have that going for me, which is nice.

Ahh, the season is almost over.  I can not make any trades at this point and we are over the luxury tax, so I might as well just enjoy the last two games and get ready for next season.  But in the meantime.........

*phone buzzes*

(more goodness after the jump... language almost certainly NSFW)

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It has been wayyy too long since I've done a post like this.  Moreoever, with the Rockets playing their most inspired and entertaining basketball of the season - it reminded me of the tone and style of one of the best new shows on television:  Archer (9pm CST every Thursday on F/X).  With both of them providing me so much joy, what better way to merge my two interests than to do a comparison post?

By way of reference, in the past we've done such crazy comparisons as:

The Rockets as characters from The Big Lebowski
The Rockets as characters from Married... with Children
The Rockets as characters from Community (last year's new comedy hit)
The Rockets as characters from The Princess Bride (personal favorite)

Today... ummmm... I swear I had something for this.... but it's

The Houston Rockets as Characters from Archer

Let us begin with the most important character, after the jump  --

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Yes, I know Patrick Patterson was not even close to touching the ball on the rim.

Yes, I know Courtney Lee did not actually foul Hakim Warrick on that "and-1" drive in the 4th Q.

Yes, I know that Chase Budinger was hit on the elbow or forearm every time he tried a jumpshot.

I DO NOT CARE.

(The Suns have an equally just argument about the lack of quality in last night's officiating crew.  They were terrible... but they were consistently terrible.  It just happens that the good guys got the worst of it at the end of the game -- when the Rockets should have already built an insurmountable 20 point lead.)

Now, if I am not blaming the referees... who am I blaming?  For someone is inherently at "fault" for not bringing home a W last night, right?  Well.......... where to begin?

1.  Was Kevin Martin high last night?  The last four games?

Speed Racer has never looked more completely out of it on the court.  He looked like he was auditioning to host next year's Academy Awards (hello, James Franco!).  Twice Martin fumbled or kicked the ball away when he was leading a one-on-none fast break.  He dropped passes left and right.  He took ill-advised jump shots all night.  Normally this is in the flow of the offense, but last night Kyle Lowry was in the f--kin' ZONE and the Rockets made no attempt to pass him the ball with any regularity.  Then again...

2.  It's still on Rick Adelman

60% of the Rockets' starting lineup ate ass.  I still do not know why Jordan Hill got the start over Patrick Patterson.  PatPat has done nothing but prove he deserves as many minutes as he can play.  Whereas Hill has only proven that he's prone to toking it up with Speed Racer.  Hill played 5 minutes in the first quarter and looked absolutely lost.  Then again, so did Robin Lopez.  Maybe it was something in the water?  Maybe the Phoenix medical staff gets everyone high so that they do not feel their injuries?  (Hey!  That would explain *so* much!)

opium, ftw?

But Adelman still must account for why Chuck Hayes continues to play so many minutes... especially when playing games like last night where a 6'5" slow center with limited offense is a bad matchup... why Jordan Hill continues to be put in position to fail (instead of letting Patterson go into beast mode)... and why he did not immediately remove Martin and let Courtney Lee play more.  I mean, I am a huge Kevin Martin fan, but even I was demanding that he be removed from the game last night.  And when Chuck Hayes tried to emulate Hakeem Olajuwon on a 1st Q post move that resulted in an air-balled jump hook from 5 feet out... well... it was enough to make LeBron James and Dwyane Wade cry.

But that is not even the worst transgression... which leads me to:

3.  Why is Brad Miller trying so hard to make me dislike him?

Granted, it's not his fault that he's washed up.  It's also not his fault that Adelman continues to run him out there to be exposed.  He's a good guy and he's a professional.  Brad Miller will bust his butt as much as he can to win a game.  I'm not suggesting that he's dogging it by any means...

But at some level, you simply cannot continue to keep playing the Hayes/Miller duo when you might possible have an actual center on your bench.  And we'll never know what we have with Hasheem Thabeet until someone gives him a legitimate chance to play meaningful basketball against the big boys.

One thing is for certain:  Thabeet wouldn't have thrown an outlet pass to the other team with 20 seconds left in the game and the Rockets within striking distance.  That one cut me deep, Mr. Miller.  That hurt bad.

---

Now -- after last night, can we all agree that the Rockets are better off giving extended time to the young guys?  The supposed "playoff push" is drifting farther and farther away -- no matter how much kick-ass basketball Kyle Lowry continues to play.  Meanwhile, Patrick Patterson is tearing things up.  The old joke was that only Dean Smith could stop Michael Jordan.  At this point, only Rick Adelman can stop Patrick Patterson.

But do not blame the referees.  It's tired and cliche for one.  For two, the Rockets should have had such a big lead in the third quarter last night that it would not have been a factor.  But coaching and/or a case of the munchies is why the Rockets came up three points short in the end.  Not the zebras.

The Rockets have now played three games since they have excised Shane Battier and Aaron Brooks at the trading deadline and acquired Hasheem Thabeet and Goran Dragic.  The day of the trade, I believe it would be fair to say the general consensus was a mixture of the following reactions:

"Alright!  Now Terrence Williams has to get playing time!"

"A real center!  No more need to start Chuck Hayes!"

"A real backup PG who is tall enough to play actual defense?  Excellent!"

Nearly a week later......... what do we have?

Terrence Williams has played 11 minutes against New Jersey, 7 minutes against New Orleans and a whopping 5 minutes against Portland.  I know it looks like a typo, but I verified it and everything.

Additionally, Chuck Hayes has started all three post-trade deadline games.  Why?  I have no idea.  In a related story, Hasheem Thabeet has played exactly 2, 0 and 0 minutes in the same games, respectively.  Daryl Morey did tell Rick Adelman that he acquired a center for him, right?  Right??

Oh, and I'll forgive Adelman (temporarily) for not giving much playing time to Dragic.  He got a lot of opportunities against New Jersey, then got food poisoning.  Accordingly, it's completely understandable that Kyle Lowry has been playing 40+ minutes every game.  Plus, Lowry has been on fire.  Putting him on the bench at any point in time would be a mistake at the moment.  Sorry, Goran.

Why do I point this out?

Because Rick Adelman needs to either incorporate the new guys or get the hell out of the way.  As of today the Rockets are 31-31, a decidedly mediocre .500 record.  Now, I will readily admit that the team is 10000% more interesting to watch and they have been playing with a lot of heart and emotion.  They've even attempted to play some defense, which is stunning.  That said:  the Rockets are sitting in 11th place in the West.  Even if they do manage to sneak into the 8th spot and get a playoff berth -- is that really a good thing?  Nothing is accomplished by being cannon fodder for the Spurs.  Ask Tracy McGrady:  repeated playoff experience as a big underdog only leads to insane expectations, disappointment and crushing emotional beatdowns.  It's not a habit I want any of these Rockets to become accustomed to.  It's simply not worth it.

Furthermore, I think we can all agree that the writing is on the wall.  Rick Adelman will not be the coach of the Houston Rockets in 2011-2012.  He's either going to retire or not be given a contract extension.  This is what we call a "mutual parting of ways."  So why is he coaching the current team as if he needs to win all of the remaining 20 games?  It makes no sense.  None.

I like you Chuck Hayes, but you are not the future.  You should not be starting at center in any of the remaining games.  It accomplishes nothing for you or the team.

I also like you, Brad Miller.  You're a stand-up guy and a veteran.  But you're also pretty much washed up as an athlete.  For you to get any playing time in lieu of Mr. Thabeet is just a joke.  Miller played 14 minutes against Portland last night.  Jordan Hill?  0.  Thabeet?  0.  This is an equation that is unsolvable until Adelman gets out of the way.  And it does NOTHING for the Rockets' future.  Which is what we need to dedicate the next 20 games to.

Now - this is not to discredit Coach Sleepy.  He's done a fine job for the Rockets the last four years.  He's one of the better coaches in the NBA.  But he also has demonstrated that he is not a fan of playing younger players.  Hell, Patrick Patterson is in full-on beast mode lately....... and Adelman only let him play 7 minutes last night (though I contend that Adelman was being nice to Portland.  No need for PatPat to embarrass Nate's crew.)


This is a long-winded way of getting to my conclusion:  It might be in the Rockets' best interests if Rick Adelman steps down today and lets Jack Sikma or someone else take over for the rest of the year.  Yes, I know the Rockets are on a really nice winning streak... but really, it's a bit late in the season to try to convince me that this team is a championship contender.  They are not.  Consequently, I'm completely on board with Les Alexander and Daryl Morey if they want to admit that the Rockets are in rebuilding mode.  This would be the Michael Corleone approach.  The Sonny Corleone approach would be to keep the status quo, keep playing Chuck Hayes and Brad Miller extended minutes and ignore the future.  It would also be a mistake.

Hasheem Thabeet, Terrence Williams, Patrick Patterson and Goran Dragic MUST be given an opportunity to show the team what they can do over the next 20 games.  Whether Rick Adelman wants to admit it or not, the Rockets are playing for next year already.  They need to start acting like it.

Let them play!

(oh, and bring back JVG!)

Today, the Utah Jazz traded Deron Williams to the New Jersey Nets.

Yes, really.  No need to make any declarations of "shenanigans" and search for your brooms.

The good news?  The Utah Jazz probably will not be relevant again any time soon.  Enjoy the lottery, bitches.

The bad news?  I might actually feel bad for kicking a team when it's down.  Oh, who am I kidding.  I won't feel bad about it at all.  F Utah!  I will enjoy laughing at them for being 25-57 every single year.  Because they deserve it.

In two weeks... both of these guys have become "ex-Jazz".  Interesting.

Hahaha, suck it, Utah!

Attention:  this is off-topic in that it only moderately concerns the Rockets.  And even that isn't until the end.

How the hell is Reggie Miller not even a finalist for the HOF???

It's true.  Somehow Reggie Miller did not even make the first cut of nominees for the 2011 Basketball Hall of Fame.  Essentially, Reggie Miller is now getting the Cris Carter treatment.  There is no logical explanation for this.  At no point has anyone ever looked at Reggie Miller and said "nah, he's not really a hall of famer."  Because that would be absolutely, utterly ridiculous.

On a more personal note -- there are exactly two (2) jerseys of NBA players that I own that are not Rockets jerseys.  One is Penny Hardaway, who if not for injury might have been the greatest point guard of all-time.  Yes, better than Magic Johnson.  Penny was amazing.  Then someone introduced him to the word "microfracture" and it was all over.  So sad.  The other jersey I own is Reggie Miller's #31 Pacers jersey.  And why?  Because Reggie was f--kin' awesome.  You have to be a true badass for me to own your jersey and Reggie fit the bill.  In every way.  (For those paying attention, I do not own a Kobe Bryant jersey and I may be a bigger Kobe fan than most Laker fans.) 

Yet some clowns who wield their authority like a high-school nerd scorned by the head cheerleader have decided that Reggie Miller is not even worthy of discussion as a finalist for the Hall of Fame. 

Do you know who Reggie was competing with for nomination?  Immortals along the lines of Dennis Rodman, Maurice Cheeks (good guy, but he's not Reggie), Ralph Sampson (!?!?!), Dick Bavetta (seriously?), Rick Pitino (now this is just absurd), and Mark Jackson (uhhhh...).

Dick Bavetta!?!?!?!?  When did the Basketball Hall of Fame become the sporting equivalent of the Grammy Awards?  This is like Jethro Tull winning the Grammy for "Best Heavy Metal Performance" over Metallica in 1989.  Mind-boggling.

If Reggie Miller does not get inducted into the Hall of Fame next year, let me be the first to lead the ensuing riot in Springfield.  Or as Al Bundy would say:  "I am going to run amok and start killing people in alphabetical order."

Now, the only good news that can come from this is that the absence of Reggie Miller as a candidate makes it that much easier for one Rudy Tomjanovich to make the Hall of Fame.  Do not get me wrong, it is still a massive mistake by the Hall that Rudy T is not an inductee while Jerry Sloan, John Stockton and the Worst Person Alive™ Karl Malone have already been afforded the opportunity to give lame speeches and be immortalized.  It's shameful, in fact.  And it must be corrected immediately.

So -- if not Reggie, put Rudy T in the Hall of Fame!

maddening update:  Rudy T did not make the list of finalists either.  F--k you, Hall of Fame!

I tried to read the comments here... but too many people got off track. 

Then someone actually referred to Jerry Sloan as "classy"?!?!  GTFO.

It's been a theme/motto/mantra here for nearly four years - CLASSY IS OVERRATED.  That said, however, Jerry Sloan is the epitome of "go f--k yourself, San Diego", as opposed to "you stay classy". 

Let's get one thing clear:  Jerry Sloan was a good coach who won enough games to keep his job for 23 years.  This fact alone does not make him a good person.  For Jerry Sloan would be shunned by society were he not a successful and famous basketball coach.  As people usually do not take kindly to crotchety old men who bully and insult and chastise and discriminate with regularity.

This is a man who went out of his way on numerous occasions to defend the Worst Person in the World™ (Karl Malone).  This is a man who would routinely refer to his players by homophobic slurs (notably Mr. Amaechi).  No one has ever regretted leaving the clutches of Utah and Mr. Sloan.  Even Carlos Boozer ran away at the first opportunity.  People are now going to try to blame Deron Williams for what happened, and that is total BS.  Deron for years has tried to take a larger leadership role with the team -- as he should because he is really good.  But Mr. Sloan had no use for that.  Every time Deron would suggest something, Sloan would dismiss it and belittle Deron by negatively comparing him to the alleged greatness of John Stockton.  Keeping him in his place.

So what happens?  Deron finally stands up to Sloan's bullying.  Instead of actually being a coach and leader........ Sloan quits.  On the spot.  Another version of "my way or the highway" - the man simply could not adapt.  Maybe this is why he never won a ring?

I say good bye and good riddance, Jerry.  Everyone is moaning about how the NBA is worse off without Sloan, but that's a bunch of unsupported hyperbole.  No one gave a shit about Utah before and no one will give a shit about Utah in the future.  The way it should be.

I know I have been guilty of extreme criticism of Courtney Lee this year.  I'm still not over his botched free throws against San Antonio in the fifth game of the season.  Last night's game -- and his recent performance overall -- has drastically changed my opinion of him though.

Courtney Lee is a definite keeper.  And, like Kevin Martin, Rick Adelman must find more playing time for him.

Last night Lee had his best game as a Rocket.  23 points in limited time.  He played so well that he earned what Matt Bullard deemed "closing" minutes.  There is no doubt he deserved to be on the court when the game was decided.  Unfortunately, Adelman treated him like Isiah Thomas treated Michael Jordan in the 1985 All-Star Game... he froze him out at the end.  Lee was reduced to standing in the corner away from the action.  So much for being there at crunch time.  I mean - he was on the court, but he was hardly a participant in the offense.  If Courtney held grudges, he'd be completely in the right to want to do what Eric Cartman did to Scott Tenorman.  Then again, he already has a girl's name so he's probably used to this glass ceiling treatment.

It's unfortunate - because of all the players on the roster, Lee has been the one regular to show steady improvement as the season has progressed.  His defense is solid, he's proven to be quite adept at the mid-range game.  And there is no denying that he can jump out of the gym.  Quickly.  Sure, he's wildly inconsistent with open jump shots, especially from behind the arc, but that was never his expertise anyway.  Courtney Lee is a keeper.

Meanwhile, guys like Chase Budinger, Aaron Brooks, Jordan Hill and even Shane Battier have only gotten worse.  Budinger cannot even put together two moderately good games in a row.  Brooks' regression has been documented here in great detail.  Battier is on the wrong side of 30 and no longer has the lateral quickness to play the premium D we are used to seeing (and his offensive production is now worse than Chuck Hayes'.)  And for all the "Free Jordan Hill" memos I distributed earlier in the season... I've learned something.

Jordan Hill really is not that good.  And I don't think he's going to get any better.  Ever.

Why did I have this sudden realization?  Simple.  This guy named Patrick Patterson started getting minutes at the same position.  Where Jordan Hill is slow and mechanical... Patterson is quick, agile and natural.  Plus, Patterson already has an NBA-ready jump shot.  Hill has now been a Rocket for about a year and aside from being a wee bit more fluid on his hook shot, he's really no better today than the raw project we acquired from the Knicks a year ago.  Patterson, however, has been a revelation.  At no point has he seemed overwhelmed by the game.  He's making a ridiculous amount of open jump shots.  He's rebounding at a very good rate.  And he's not the fouling machine that Jordan Hill is. 

So, of course Patterson received precisely zero playing time last night in a game where the Rockets got out-rebounded by 20.  That is not a typo.  No matter how good Kevin Love is -- and he's really good -- there is no way the Rockets should ever get out-rebounded by 20.  Coach Sleepy left his best-available non-Scola PF on the bench.  The entire night.  But he gave brick-happy ABZ 20 minutes to get owned by Jonny Flynn and Sebastian Telfair.  That is just inexcusable.

At this point, I fully expect the following players to be "ex-Rockets" in three weeks:

Chase Budinger
Aaron Brooks
Jordan Hill

Hopefully Rick Adelman does not destroy their collective trade value by trying to showcase them and having it backfire when it serves to inform the rest of the league that these guys really aren't that good to begin with.  He will, of course, because he's extremely stubborn about his rotations and division of playing time.

It's days like yesterday that make it so hard to be a Rockets fan sometimes.  But with guys like Courtney Lee and Patrick Patterson showing promise and providing immediate dividends on the court, there's hope for the future.  And by "the future" I do not mean to imply that there will be goobacks from the future coming to take everyone's jobs.  At least I hope not.

*note:  I hear that Richard Justice wrote some article about blowing up the Rockets today... I'd link to it, but I do not want to inflate his ego by actually directing traffic his way.  He sucks more than ABZ did yesterday.

I think I found out why ABZ left the court with 7 minutes to go...

Not much time for a lengthy recap.  The weathermen here say my fingers might get frozen together any minute now.  It's like cold and stuff in Houston if you haven't noticed.  (Though technically, anything below 90 is freezing.)

Last night the Rockets wrapped up a brutal four-game road trip... which started with heartbreaking losses to Dallas, San Antonio, the Los Angeles Lakers (why not the Clippers?!!?) -- leaving the Utah Jazz to close it out.  In Utah.  I think we can all clearly remember the Rockets' traditional misfortune when playing basketball in Utah.  Or I should say attempt to play basketball in Utah, because anytime Yao moved his arms or his legs it would be a foul and I think they actually called a personal foul on McGrady for crying once.  Scola gets T'd up just for his hair and Aaron Brooks gets abused because midgets are supposed to bounce off Carlos Boozer's elbow like that.

Which made me fear for Kevin Martin's life because he's skinny enough to make those crazy mormon people Utah Jazz fans want to make him their 5th wife.  Imagine my surprise when not only did Martin make a huge clutch layup with 6 seconds to go........ but the referees also blew the whistle for a foul.  A foul!  On a Jazz player!!  For what may be the first time in recorded history the Rockets had an important call go their way in Utah.  A day later, I'm still in shock:

The Rockets won! 
In Utah!! 
On a last second three-point play the ol' fashioned way!!!

Thus I can only recap the game as follows.  This is for the behalf of any Utah fans looking for commentary here and for anyone else like me who enjoys sports schadenfreude:

Rockets 97, Utah Jazz 96

It all starts with Manu Ginobili.

If not for Ginobili violating about 37 unwritten rules of player conduct by undercutting a shooter on a half-court shot as the first-half was ending, ABZ would probably be in the midst of a 22ppg season and making a drive towards a long-term contract extension while the Rockets chased a playoff berth (even without Yao Ming, who apparently has been dead since 2007).

*seriously, two months later... that's still a dick move, Manu. 
You owe Aaron breakfast.

Nevertheless, our favorite midget seems to be back to nearly 100% health.  Yet, at the moment, he resides firmly on the bench behind Kyle Lowry.  It's quite possible that Rick Adelman is unaware that this guy currently wearing the #0 jersey is the same guy who was his starting point guard back in November before that fateful day.  But we'll never know because I'm too busy trying to figure out why Adelman refuses to exploit Kevin Martin's talents in the fourth quarter.  It's uncanny.

While watching the Rockets recent games against the Clippers and the Mavericks this week, I noticed that Brooks is being asked to play more of a 2-guard role.  Instead of being a primary ballhandler and distributor, he's roaming the court looking to be a scoring guard.  I believe this plays to his strengths, because Brooks has a scorer's mentality and now that he's in his fourth NBA season, I think we can all agree that he's never going to magically develop Jason Kidd's court-vision or awareness.  Brooks is not a dynamic passer, but he can be a dynamic scorer.

Continue reading this post »

It seems I touched a wee bit of a nerve with my "Have I missed anything? (No?)" post last week.

If so, good - that's what I'm here for.  Preaching to the choir is boring and best left to the devices of the Comicle.  It's not what we do here.  At least it's not what we should be doing here.

Meanwhile, I do have pleasant news for you all. 

Really, really good news, in fact!  And that is.........

at least the Utah Jazz are sucking, too!!!

Granted, the Jazz did manage to overcome a late double-digit deficit against the Rockets at the beginning of this month.  But that was in Utah.  Meanwhile, I was gambling it up in Oklahoma unable to watch that particular game.  Otherwise I might have punched a midget and kicked a small child.  Simultaneously.  Watching the Rockets blow a lead in Utah would infuriate me to no end, so let us just say it's a good thing I missed that one.

But the point remains - the Utah Jazz are probably even more disappointing than the Rockets are so far this year.  And the Lakers whooped 'em good last night.  That makes FIVE losses in a row for the Utah Jazz.  This is something we can all celebrate.  The world is a much better place when Jerry Sloan's minions are losing with regularity.  A team with Deron Williams, AK47 and recent acquisitions like Al Jefferson should not be stuck in losing streaks like this.  The team is only 27-16 overall, so they will probably still make the playoffs, but we all know they will not be winning anything important this year.  Another ringless year for Jerry Sloan.  Karma, bitch.

Making matters worse for Utah, and thus adding to our schadenfreude purposes:  Deron Williams is going to be a free agent in 2012.  And like any decent, rational, thinking person - he sure is not going to stay in Utah.  Unfortunately, the one city that deserves the LeBron/Decision treatment (Salt Lake City) will not be subjected to such antics by Deron, who actually seems like a good person.  But, like Darth Vader, he's been in Utah too long so he's more machine than man now and is no longer a symbol for all that is good in the NBA.

So, basically, what I'm trying to say is:

suck it, Utah!

Hello there, I'm grungedave.

You might remember me from such posts as:

"Rafer Alston sucks"
"Luis Scola is a complete and total badass"
"I really, really hate the Utah Jazz"
and some other random stuff about Joey Dorsey's adventures.

Yes, I know I haven't been posting much this year.  There is a reason for that.  I swear.

Here's the reason:  The Rockets are completely and utterly unwatchable.  Worse yet, they are boring.  No matter how many fake Carmelo Anthony rumors we can conjure up... no matter how many ways we try to trade Yao Ming's contract, Shane Battier, ABZ, Brad Miller, etc.... no matter how many times Coach Sleepy forgets to put Speed Racer back in the game - the truth is the Rockets are flat out mediocre.  They are.  It makes it nearly impossible to watch.

(Though if you ever attempt to trade Scola on this site, I will still find you and ban you!)

I tried - I honestly tried to watch the Knicks game on Wednesday.  And yes, the good guys won that game (again, because Amare's basketball IQ is stupendously low and because Mike D'Antoni is still wishing he took the Chicago Bulls job three years ago.)  But the Rockets simply lack the abiilty to keep me from switching the channel.  They lack a Blake Griffin "Wow!" factor.  Yes, I just wished the Rockets had a dude from Oklahoma on their roster.  Shoot me.

Trading for Carmelo will not change that.  So pipe down.

Trading for CP3 might intrigue me, but he's not going anywhere.  Yet.

I wish I had answers.  I do not.  Daryl Morey has done a fantastic job of stockpiling assets, and no one can really dispute this.  But what can he really do with these assets?  Injuries are not his fault.  Yao Ming's injury was eminently foreseeable, but now is the time to move on from that.  And they will.  In the meantime, what do the Rockets do?  It has been made quite clear that you do not win a championship without an elite player.  A truly elite player.  If you do not have a Kobe, Wade or Duncan - your chances for ring survival are 0%.  They are.  The problem is, the Rockets keep hovering around 42 wins every year.  Just enough to miss the playoffs but not get a shot at the next Griffin, John Wall, Kwame Brown or Derrick Rose.

While we wait for the next Hakeem - or even the next Robert Horry - I'll continue to find other things to occupy my time slot for entertainment.  Maybe I'll go hang with Terrence Williams and Crazy Pills and get some stripper stories.  It cannot be any worse than trying to watch the Rockets play defense.  So, until we meet again........